Re: Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - Thread #6

[pander3575]

Now... when does he get the purple!?

Had to be before Memorial Day right?  Wasn't that when we first noticed at the wedding?

Which wedding picture? I may have missed this.

Josh went to a wedding of a friend prior to his grandfather's birthday weekend. You probably can find it in the Josh screencaps thread.

[Luvvy]

Someone mentioned that Josh had on the ribbons yesterday or the day before. Is there a pic posted of it?

[pander3575]

Someone mentioned that Josh had on the ribbons yesterday or the day before. Is there a pic posted of it?

It's in the fan thread. A woman saw him getting a sandwich.

[stuckinsc]

Josh has the purple band on in his video message to Andi from the F3 RC.

[soccermom333]

Someone mentioned that Josh had on the ribbons yesterday or the day before. Is there a pic posted of it?

It's in the fan thread.  A woman saw him getting a sandwich.

Thank you for this!! I had to go and look again.   :cutesmile!:  Good sign.

[Cecilia]

Here is what I don't understand:
1.  He's 29 and had not been in a committed relationship before.
2.  According to reports he did not know Andi prior to the show.
3.  He comes "out of the gate" (limo) gushing and all in to a girl who he may have only have seen on a tv show the season before.

I know a lot of contestants come in and are smitten at first sight.  
But I think these folks have been in real life relationships before and understand what is involved to sustain one, even if it eventually failed.  Each of the other F6 guys had the experience of the day to day of a real life gf or in Chris/Nick's case fiancé.

I am not being snarky, but I truly don't know if Josh is in love, or in love with the concept of it all.  I know this is true of most of the final couples and they find out post show.   Some of the tweets Josh has sent lead me to wonder if "reality" is setting in.  When it does, he doesn't have the experience to compare what is a momentary bump in the road and what is a red flag.  I don't wish any one unhappiness, but I don't see them lasting.

He's extremely immature IMO with no admitted "real" romantic experiences at 29.  Odd to me JMO.

[Ash2214]

^ He's had two serious relationships before according to him and one that I have seen proof of. The same girl is still friends with some of his family members on Facebook. It's apparently been five years since his last relationship. He's certainly been in relationships before.

Different strokes for different folks, but I'd prefer a guy to have only been in a couple of relationships with a large break in between of dating someone seriously then be with a guy who was in a very serious relationship, have that not work out and then quickly jump into another serious relationship, get engaged to that person and then have that person break off the engagement, but that's just my opinion.

[soccermom333]

^ He's had two serious relationships before according to him and one that I have seen proof of. The same girl is still friends with some of his family members on Facebook. It's apparently been five years since his last relationship. He's certainly been in relationships before.

Different strokes for different folks, but I'd prefer a guy to have only been in a couple of relationships with a large break in between of dating someone seriously then be with a guy who was in a very serious relationship, have that not work out and then quickly jump into another serious relationship, get engaged to that person and then have that person break off the engagement, but that's just my opinion.

   Well said.

[Relalou]

Here is what I don't understand:
1.  He's 29 and had not been in a committed relationship before.
2.  According to reports he did not know Andi prior to the show.
3.  He comes "out of the gate" (limo) gushing and all in to a girl who he may have only have seen on a tv show the season before.

I know a lot of contestants come in and are smitten at first sight.  
But I think these folks have been in real life relationships before and understand what is involved to sustain one, even if it eventually failed.  Each of the other F6 guys had the experience of the day to day of a real life gf or in Chris/Nick's case fiancé.

I am not being snarky, but I truly don't know if Josh is in love, or in love with the concept of it all.  I know this is true of most of the final couples and they find out post show.   Some of the tweets Josh has sent lead me to wonder if "reality" is setting in.  When it does, he doesn't have the experience to compare what is a momentary bump in the road and what is a red flag.  I don't wish any one unhappiness, but I don't see them lasting.

He's extremely immature IMO with no admitted "real" romantic experiences at 29.  Odd to me JMO.

Only time will tell whether this love is one that will endure a lifetime (as is the case for any of us).  However, I think that it is a mistake to confuse a lack of vast dating experience (he certainly has some) with a lack of maturity.  Two very different things.  IMO it takes a very mature guy to know that he is looking for more than a flirtation and that therefore he won't be dating until he finds someone who seems to offer him the possibility of forever.  It is sad to me that we now equate "playing the field" with maturity and sexual experience with being in a position to know what you want.  I think that both these things can actually be a sign of emotional immaturity or lack of depth. Josh seemed to recognize something in Andi from early on and he pursued her and the possibility of getting married and settling down (as he said he wanted to from the get-go).  Seems like a  man who knows what he wants, is prepared to wait until he sees it and when he does, goes after it with full force.

[IrishGal]

Here is what I don't understand:
1.  He's 29 and had not been in a committed relationship before.
2.  According to reports he did not know Andi prior to the show.
3.  He comes "out of the gate" (limo) gushing and all in to a girl who he may have only have seen on a tv show the season before.

I know a lot of contestants come in and are smitten at first sight.  
But I think these folks have been in real life relationships before and understand what is involved to sustain one, even if it eventually failed.  Each of the other F6 guys had the experience of the day to day of a real life gf or in Chris/Nick's case fiancé.

I am not being snarky, but I truly don't know if Josh is in love, or in love with the concept of it all.  I know this is true of most of the final couples and they find out post show.   Some of the tweets Josh has sent lead me to wonder if "reality" is setting in.  When it does, he doesn't have the experience to compare what is a momentary bump in the road and what is a red flag.  I don't wish any one unhappiness, but I don't see them lasting.

Sorry this comment is so late but ever since my accident, it has been very difficult for me to post.

Great post, PaV!  :cutesmile!: ITA!

[Piper61]

Here is what I don't understand:
1.  He's 29 and had not been in a committed relationship before.
2.  According to reports he did not know Andi prior to the show.
3.  He comes "out of the gate" (limo) gushing and all in to a girl who he may have only have seen on a tv show the season before.

I know a lot of contestants come in and are smitten at first sight.  
But I think these folks have been in real life relationships before and understand what is involved to sustain one, even if it eventually failed.  Each of the other F6 guys had the experience of the day to day of a real life gf or in Chris/Nick's case fiancé.BUT JMO

I am not being snarky, but I truly don't know if Josh is in love, or in love with the concept of it all. I know this is true of most of the final couples and they find out post show. Some of the tweets Josh has sent lead me to wonder if "reality" is setting in. When it does, he doesn't have the experience to compare what is a momentary bump in the road and what is a red flag. I don't wish any one unhappiness, but I don't see them lasting.

He's extremely immature IMO with no admitted "real" romantic experiences at 29. Odd to me JMO.

Only time will tell whether this love is one that will endure a lifetime (as is the case for any of us).  However, I think that it is a mistake to confuse a lack of vast dating experience (he certainly has some) with a lack of maturity.  Two very different things.  IMO it takes a very mature guy to know that he is looking for more than a flirtation and that therefore he won't be dating until he finds someone who seems to offer him the possibility of forever.  It is sad to me that we now equate "playing the field" with maturity and sexual experience with being in a position to know what you want.  I think that both these things can actually be a sign of emotional immaturity or lack of depth. Josh seemed to recognize something in Andi from early on and he pursued her and the possibility of getting married and settling down (as he said he wanted to from the get-go).  Seems like a  man who knows what he wants, is prepared to wait until he sees it and when he does, goes after it with full force.

    Well said.  Plus, what Josh has actually said on the show is quite different than some interpretations (IMO).  And I believe a person can realize that what they once thought was true love that they were feeling in a particular relationship was not the same after meeting and being with someone who brings out even stronger feelings and emotions of love.

[Alanna]

I don't know why having failed relationships is thought to be a prerequisite to have a successful marriage but I agree, it seems to be the common thought process/expectation now. I don't agree with it but this belief is definitely prevalent.

IMO and also experience, failed relationships can be traumatizing and there's nothing great about having them. If a person can have healthy relationships with their friends, family, other humans, I don't know why failed romantic relationships are viewed as so important for a successful marriage. I understand that romantic relationships are different but the basic core human qualities you need to be a great partner are similar to what is needed to be a great sibling, friend, etc.

I think it's even clear how traumatizing it can all be when you compare Ashley and Andi, Ashley who only had 1 boyfriend in college for a brief amount of time and Andi who was in an adult relationship post-college for 3-4 years.

Ashley was so open and available for falling in love, it never even crossed her mind a man can be bad or mistreat her. She was ready to fall in love with Bentley, William and finally JP in a span of days. Good call on the last one there, Ash! But if he wasn't the right one, I think she would have been very much altered and damaged by her experience.

Then we have Andi, who was so messed up from this previous ex athlete, she wouldn't let anyone near her, including a really great guy who was everything she claimed she wanted. In fact, I could attribute Josh's willingness to fight for her and love her and be so honest and open with her because he hasn't been in a relationship that was an epic fail. IMO, he can love Andi so quickly and more than anything in this world because even though it crosses his mind that he may not be f1, it really doesn't seem real to him that she would leave after they're "in love" because it hasn't happened to him for real. Compare him to Nick and JP, both who were truly hurt, and I see the difference in the relationships.

Obviously JMO

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