Bachelorette 10 - Andi Dorfman and CH's Blog - *Spoilers* - Discussion

emusha wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:Good blog CH. For once I think I believe him.

her job wasn’t as much to find out if these guys were sincere but more so trying to decide which lifestyle fit best.

I think this has something to do with Andi's decision as well. She wants Nick, he's different, same as Ali/Frank but Josh's family/lifestyle.

If you're crazy in love, why would she worry if he's going to change. That could happen in any relationship. How many athletes has she dated, and cheated on her. They make it sound as if this has happened so many times before and she doesn't want to make that mistake again. Any husband b/f can cheat, they don't have to be athletes. I would like to think its all TPTB storyline and not really the case.

He is being interrogated just because he was an athlete 7 yrs ago and labelled because of some baseball players reputations.
Josh can't be more expressive or re encouraging, so I'm not sure what her issue is with him.

IA -- it's fascinating to watch this all come to fruition...from what I'm seeing - Andi's stayed in her head this whole time and she's in LIKE (very physically attracted/likes spending time with/making out with/at most infatuated with) two very diff guys for VERY diff reasons partly reasons she understands and partly totally unexpected/unexplainable reasons/emotions....she's not at all crazy in love...IMHO she's staying cerebral and strategic/almost cold and clinical throughout this and NOT putting her WHOLE SELF -- flaws/imperfections and all out there

I think Andi is also self-sabotaging with both of these guys at the moment... she's overanalyzing and she's not yet letting herself truly be vulnerable to fall in love - connect in a very intimate space - (I'm going to acknowledge that overanalyzing and self-sabotaging is totally common for many women)...  she says Josh isn't serious enough/he's too happy, easy-going but ohh sooo kind and sweet, Nick is too serious doesn't constantly entertainin her but he makes her feel intense emotions she doesn't know what to do with & he "gets her"

...she also wants her perfect package of a guy who's completely giving her all that she needs at all times (you'll put up with my diva/brattiness? - to Josh)...this makes me go back to my previous thought -- has Andi really unpacked what she needs in a relationship from a truly vulnerable standpoint of understanding herself, her imperfections, her values and desired lifestyle in a very real way and NOT from the standpoint of wanting that "perfect fit/dream guy/dream life" constant affirmation/attention, an "in charge man" to make her feel safe? I see her on a learning curve and it's going to be interesting to watch her story after the FRC ...I am picking up parallels between Andi and Ali and the journey is going to bring the lessons about herself and the need to get vulnerable to truly find someone that can sustain her long term but maybe she'll be lucky and the guy who's her F1 will also be person for her long-term past the honeymoon phase... I guess we're all not perfect and we can't require that of andi but I'm seeing some red flags with her being so rigid, self-centered, controlled and poker faced throughout this esp cos when u're looking for a lifetime partner you need to be able to take down your guard and truly let them in to the whole you...

Can't believe Eric Hill called it with his questions about the "poker face" "actress" and I'd first thought -- what the heck is he going on about?

ironcat wrote:I think Andi was lucky in that there really were two guys cast who were good enough fits for her that she absolutely could envision marrying either one, but unlucky because she had to make a choice between them within the time restraints of the show.  Being the analytical prosecutor that she is, she was loathe to make a mistake or overlook anything and end up choosing wrong.  I suspect that's why she's not letting her heart rule her head YET and just going with the flow, but really trying to take as much time as she was allotted to "cover every base" (bad baseball analogy  ).

If it's true that she sends Nick home the morning of the FRC, I bet it's because she woke up that morning after having spent all the time she was going to get to spend with both guys, and realized her decision was made and it was Josh, then let her emotions totally take over her analytical side, and felt like she couldn't wait another moment to level with Nick and, for lack of a better phrase, get it over with.

Andi Dorfman's Bachelorette Blog: Why I Didn't Invite Chris to the Fantasy Suite wrote: Wow, it's finally down to three guys and the final destination! Europe had been great, but it was time to heat things up and what better place than the lush, tropical and beautiful Dominican Republic!


I was really excited to get to this Caribbean island and start the week of dating, but I have to admit that my excitement was met with some serious reservations. I couldn't help but remember how this week went for me last season. I remember being excited to spend some time alone, off camera, to really get to know Juan Pablo, only to have it all come crashing down on me. As excited as I was to spend quality, private time with my final guys, I was also nervous that they were going to be different behind closed doors. This was definitely a fear of mine going into the week. Let's just say I was hoping for a much better outcome this time around!

Nick's Overnight
Nick and I started the date off with an incredible helicopter ride across the island. We truly got to see the beauty of the Dominican Republic from the most incredible viewpoint. The colors of the water, the landscape, everything was stunning! We landed the helicopter on our own private island. Well, I should say that it was private, until a diplomat of the Dominican government also decided to land on the beach for his own picnic too! I promise you can't make this up! Nick and I had such a fun day frolicking on the beach and swimming in the ocean. Coming off his hometown in Milwaukee, I wanted to talk to Nick about his relationship history. Knowing that the end of my journey was coming up so soon and that Nick had previously been engaged, I felt it was really important to talk about Nick's romantic past. Our conversation about Nick's past break-ups definitely put me at ease. Nick has this unique ability to just put any issues out in the open and work through them quickly, which I greatly admire.


That night, we enjoyed an intimate dinner on the beach. I absolutely loved the storybook Nick made for me. This was not some sort of flipbook, but rather this was well thought-out and carefully executed. Nick even burnt the edges to make the pages look more authentic. I was blown away by Nick's drawing skills! Who knew he was such an artist? On top of all of that, the fairytale story that he wrote was so creative and adorable. We laughed as we read the story, but it was also one of the most romantic gifts I have ever been given. Between our great conversation on the beach, him saying he loved me and the beautiful book, I was excited to spend time with Nick, away from the cameras.

Josh's Overnight
For Josh's date, I wanted to experience the culture of the Dominican Republic in its capitol, Santo Domingo. I knew it would be a really interesting place to explore, and I was so looking forward to spending time there with Josh. The only thing I didn't plan on, though, was how hot it was that day! Poor Josh was sweating to death and I felt so bad! Despite the heat, Josh and I started by walking through the city and we enjoyed some local food and drink. Nothing made me laugh harder than seeing how excited Josh was to buy a bottle of the island's famous aphrodisiac, Mama Juana.

I had a really special treat planned that I thought Josh would really love. I planned for Josh and I to go to a local baseball field and watch the kids play. Even though watching the kids play was fun, our date got so much better when the kids invited us to play with them! I will never forget watching Josh's face light up with happiness being back on the diamond. Seeing him interact with the kids made me realize that he will make an amazing father someday. The afternoon ended with Josh telling me that he loved me. This was something I did not expect, but was so happy to hear.

Later, we had dinner at the beautiful Casa de Campo resort. I loved seeing the more serious side to Josh and being able to talk about what the future would look like if we ended up together. After such a great day, I was looking forward to spending the night with Josh, in total privacy. Also, I just want to say one thing to my Mom and Dad – sorry for that kissing scene in the pool!

The best and most embarrassing part of the night happened right before dinner. As I'm getting in the car to drive to dinner, my tooth fell right out of my mouth! Like out of nowhere … it just fell out. After my producer panicked and we checked to see what happened, we discovered that it was, thankfully, my back tooth. Josh could not tell during our dinner, but I told him anyways. I was mortified, but Josh was funny about it! Don't worry, the next day I went to the dentist and they fixed everything.

Chris's Overnight
My last date was with Chris. Ever since Chris revealed himself as the secret admirer, our relationship had really picked up momentum. I was bowled over by how amazing his hometown date was, and I remember leaving Iowa on Cloud Nine. Coming into this week in the Dominican, I needed to figure out if I really saw a future with Chris – without his wonderful, loving family back in Iowa. This date was definitely the most crucial of the week.

Chris and I started the date by riding horses. I was terrified of the horse. Despite being scared, I definitely didn't want to show Chris. So, what you didn't get to see was that I got to the ranch early to try and practice a little. I wanted to impress Chris! I knew he would love the date, so I wanted to put on a brave face for him. Chris, of course, hopped right on the horse like a pro and taught me how to ride. I loved seeing Chris on a horse in the countryside because I could see he felt a level of comfort and he made it look good. We had a great time riding and we enjoyed a picnic in the countryside, but the highlight had to be another round of my new favorite game, Ghost in the Graveyard. Despite the fact that we were having fun, I could tell something was missing with our relationship. I left that date with my head spinning.

Coming into that evening, I didn't know what to do. For me, spending an evening with someone is something I value and don't take lightly. I have to say that when it comes to last season, I honestly wished Juan Pablo let me go before we went into the fantasy suite. It was a huge step in the relationship and I made a promise to myself that if I didn't see that potential with one of my guys, I wouldn't allow myself to go into the fantasy suite with them. The more I talked to Chris, the more I realized our connection wasn't there. We talked a lot about whether or not I could see myself living in Iowa, but that wasn't fair. The truth was that Iowa wasn't the hurdle, our foundation was. I honestly didn't feel like I had a built a solid enough of a foundation with Chris. I didn't have the same feelings for Chris as I had with Nick and Josh, so even though it was so difficult, I wanted to be honest with Chris. I wanted to be honest with him because I had so much respect for him and how authentic and kind he had always been toward me. I decided it wasn't right to spend the night with Chris in the fantasy suite and it wasn't fair to make him wait for the rose ceremony.

As tough as it was to send Chris home, I knew it was the right thing to do. At that point, every guy was great and I would be truly lucky to be with any of them. What it really came down to though were those intangibles like chemistry, a potential future and most of all, love. Unfortunately, I did not see those things with Chris and I had to make the toughest decision of my journey.

Rose Ceremony
I still wanted to do a rose ceremony, even though there were two roses and only two guys remaining. I felt at that point in the journey it was a two-way street, and Nick and Josh should be able to decide if they want to accept the rose or not. They knew what the next week could possibly entail and I wanted them to dive into it with open arms. I was so glad that they both wanted roses. I couldn't have been happier with my final two guys. Despite how different they are, they were definitely the two I felt the strongest connection with – even from the beginning. I couldn't believe it was coming down to the guy I gave my first impression rose to and the guy who's from my hometown!

Next week, I have to face a room full of my exes! Yikes! I've never had so many exes before in my life, let alone all in one room! Plus, former Bachelorette Ashley stops by with husband JP with some big news and you will get a chance at another sneak peek of the upcoming season of Bachelor in Paradise. Trust me you won't want to miss this one.

Thanks for reading as always! I hope you enjoyed this week and tune in next week for an exciting Men Tell All episode.

Xoxo,

Andi      

pic.twitter.com/OPJcOk2QB3

— Andi Dorfman (@AndiDorfman) July 6, 2014

andi_dorfman wrote:Off to Vegas and already a missing tooth... This could be quite the weekend! #BBMAs #thebachelorette #Vegas

ironcat wrote:Great post, jlccaz.

One thing jumped out at me from Andi's blog.  She apologizes to her parents for the kissing scene with Josh in the pool, but no mention of what might be considered an equally "racy" scene of her with Nick in the ocean.  I think she's trying to minimize the latter, as if in her "selective memory", it wasn't as passionate as her time with Josh.