Bachelorette 10 - Andi Dorfman and CH's Blog - *Spoilers* - Discussion

Good blog CH. For once I think I believe him.

her job wasn’t as much to find out if these guys were sincere but more so trying to decide which lifestyle fit best.

I think this has something to do with Andi's decision as well. She wants Nick, he's different, same as Ali/Frank but Josh's family/lifestyle.

If you're crazy in love, why would she worry if he's going to change. That could happen in any relationship. How many athletes has she dated, and cheated on her. They make it sound as if this has happened so many times before and she doesn't want to make that mistake again. Any husband b/f can cheat, they don't have to be athletes. I would like to think its all TPTB storyline and not really the case.

He is being interrogated just because he was an athlete 7 yrs ago and labelled because of some baseball players reputations.
Josh can't be more expressive or re encouraging, so I'm not sure what her issue is with him.

GuardianAngel wrote:Good blog CH. For once I think I believe him.

her job wasn’t as much to find out if these guys were sincere but more so trying to decide which lifestyle fit best.

I think this has something to do with Andi's decision as well. She wants Nick, he's different, same as Ali/Frank but Josh's family/lifestyle.

If you're crazy in love, why would she worry if he's going to change. That could happen in any relationship. How many athletes has she dated, and cheated on her. They make it sound as if this has happened so many times before and she doesn't want to make that mistake again. Any husband b/f can cheat, they don't have to be athletes. I would like to think its all TPTB storyline and not really the case.

He is being interrogated just because he was an athlete 7 yrs ago and labelled because of some baseball players reputations.
Josh can't be more expressive or re encouraging, so I'm not sure what her issue is with him.

Yes and next week she tells him that she has spent more time thinking about what could go wrong than what could go right!.so what does that mean?

I don't think it's so much athlete 7 years ago that makes her so insecure but that he's so attractive and seems so great that she's on guard waiting for the other shoe to drop. She is used to being in control/ADA-style and Josh sees through her immediately, doesn't let her difficulty deter him and is tearing down all her walls and she's afraid. Of all the guys, he's the only one who sees the needy girl underneath the tough shell and it scares her IMO.

GuardianAngel wrote:Good blog CH. For once I think I believe him.

her job wasn’t as much to find out if these guys were sincere but more so trying to decide which lifestyle fit best.

I think this has something to do with Andi's decision as well. She wants Nick, he's different, same as Ali/Frank but Josh's family/lifestyle.

If you're crazy in love, why would she worry if he's going to change. That could happen in any relationship. How many athletes has she dated, and cheated on her. They make it sound as if this has happened so many times before and she doesn't want to make that mistake again. Any husband b/f can cheat, they don't have to be athletes. I would like to think its all TPTB storyline and not really the case.

He is being interrogated just because he was an athlete 7 yrs ago and labelled because of some baseball players reputations.
Josh can't be more expressive or re encouraging, so I'm not sure what her issue is with him.

I agree that we don't know how much of this is really Andi, and how much is her being prodded/manipulated by the producers to continually doubt and question Josh. It's pretty obvious that this is the story line and "obstacle" to overcome with him that has been chosen; there are no other issues between them, so we have to keep getting beaten over the head with this one, I suppose.

If you're crazy in love, you don't worry about his changing, and you also don't worry about taking a "leap of faith" and whether your lifestyles fit. So if any of this is true and not just editing, she's not at that point with either of them.

I think CH's blog is supposed to steer us in the direction that if Andi was "brave" enough, she'd choose Nick. That leads me to believe she chose Josh, because they always like to go for the shocker ending.

GuardianAngel wrote:Good blog CH. For once I think I believe him.

her job wasn’t as much to find out if these guys were sincere but more so trying to decide which lifestyle fit best.

I think this has something to do with Andi's decision as well. She wants Nick, he's different, same as Ali/Frank but Josh's family/lifestyle.

If you're crazy in love, why would she worry if he's going to change. That could happen in any relationship. How many athletes has she dated, and cheated on her. They make it sound as if this has happened so many times before and she doesn't want to make that mistake again. Any husband b/f can cheat, they don't have to be athletes. I would like to think its all TPTB storyline and not really the case.

He is being interrogated just because he was an athlete 7 yrs ago and labelled because of some baseball players reputations.
Josh can't be more expressive or re encouraging, so I'm not sure what her issue is with him.

TPTB?    Seriously though, they have to create a doubt... "too happy" aint bad!

GuardianAngel wrote:Good blog CH. For once I think I believe him.

her job wasn’t as much to find out if these guys were sincere but more so trying to decide which lifestyle fit best.

I think this has something to do with Andi's decision as well. She wants Nick, he's different, same as Ali/Frank but Josh's family/lifestyle.

If you're crazy in love, why would she worry if he's going to change. That could happen in any relationship. How many athletes has she dated, and cheated on her. They make it sound as if this has happened so many times before and she doesn't want to make that mistake again. Any husband b/f can cheat, they don't have to be athletes. I would like to think its all TPTB storyline and not really the case.

He is being interrogated just because he was an athlete 7 yrs ago and labelled because of some baseball players reputations.
Josh can't be more expressive or re encouraging, so I'm not sure what her issue is with him.

IA -- it's fascinating to watch this all come to fruition...from what I'm seeing - Andi's stayed in her head this whole time and she's in LIKE (very physically attracted/likes spending time with/making out with/at most infatuated with) two very diff guys for VERY diff reasons partly reasons she understands and partly totally unexpected/unexplainable reasons/emotions....she's not at all crazy in love...IMHO she's staying cerebral and strategic/almost cold and clinical throughout this and NOT putting her WHOLE SELF -- flaws/imperfections and all out there

I think Andi is also self-sabotaging with both of these guys at the moment... she's overanalyzing and she's not yet letting herself truly be vulnerable to fall in love - connect in a very intimate space - (I'm going to acknowledge that overanalyzing and self-sabotaging is totally common for many women)...  she says Josh isn't serious enough/he's too happy, easy-going but ohh sooo kind and sweet, Nick is too serious doesn't constantly entertainin her but he makes her feel intense emotions she doesn't know what to do with & he "gets her"

...she also wants her perfect package of a guy who's completely giving her all that she needs at all times (you'll put up with my diva/brattiness? - to Josh)...this makes me go back to my previous thought -- has Andi really unpacked what she needs in a relationship from a truly vulnerable standpoint of understanding herself, her imperfections, her values and desired lifestyle in a very real way and NOT from the standpoint of wanting that "perfect fit/dream guy/dream life" constant affirmation/attention, an "in charge man" to make her feel safe? I see her on a learning curve and it's going to be interesting to watch her story after the FRC ...I am picking up parallels between Andi and Ali and the journey is going to bring the lessons about herself and the need to get vulnerable to truly find someone that can sustain her long term but maybe she'll be lucky and the guy who's her F1 will also be person for her long-term past the honeymoon phase... I guess we're all not perfect and we can't require that of andi but I'm seeing some red flags with her being so rigid, self-centered, controlled and poker faced throughout this esp cos when u're looking for a lifetime partner you need to be able to take down your guard and truly let them in to the whole you...

Can't believe Eric Hill called it with his questions about the "poker face" "actress" and I'd first thought -- what the heck is he going on about?

When I heard Andi say "my divaness and brattiness", I thought she should pick Josh. A big family, such as Nick's, doesn't have much room to indulge those traits.

I think Andi was lucky in that there really were two guys cast who were good enough fits for her that she absolutely could envision marrying either one, but unlucky because she had to make a choice between them within the time restraints of the show.  Being the analytical prosecutor that she is, she was loathe to make a mistake or overlook anything and end up choosing wrong.  I suspect that's why she's not letting her heart rule her head YET and just going with the flow, but really trying to take as much time as she was allotted to "cover every base" (bad baseball analogy  ).

If it's true that she sends Nick home the morning of the FRC, I bet it's because she woke up that morning after having spent all the time she was going to get to spend with both guys, and realized her decision was made and it was Josh, then let her emotions totally take over her analytical side, and felt like she couldn't wait another moment to level with Nick and, for lack of a better phrase, get it over with.

Norcalgal wrote:When I heard Andi say "my divaness and brattiness", I thought she should pick Josh.  A big family, such as Nick's, doesn't have much room to indulge those traits.

good point -- reminded me of Josh's HTD when boardies were pointing out that it was very MeAndi of her to have such a sour face when she realized Aaron and his career were central to the family and she won't be Hy's diva/princess there and that there's no such thing as no cutting the cord with the Murray's! I highly doubt that her brattiness would be welcomed amongst the Murray's but maybe the bette process brings out her MeAndi tendancies even more than normal??  . The Murrays they seem like wonderful people and from Josh's many sacrifices and all the things the family has gone through they all seem like a unit that support and flow love to one other. Maybe they'll be good for MeAndi or maybe she won't fit very well with them ....only time will tell... IMO same is true for Nick's family -- Once I had a chance to look at the whole picture and have a better understanding of the MeAndi who laps up ILYs and has a sparkle in her eye at the prospect of two guys proposing to her...I highly doubt Nick and her would be happy together...I'm not yet sure about Josh as he is that giving man who might be ok with putting up with a queen-type but we shall see....

Norcalgal wrote:When I heard Andi say "my divaness and brattiness", I thought she should pick Josh.  A big family, such as Nick's, doesn't have much room to indulge those traits.

I agree, plus Lauren and Stephanie are also always tweeting about being princesses and doted on by Dennis and all this stuff, so Josh is well versed in this type of dynamic and he loves it. He wants to spoil her and protect her and care for her and that's exactly what Andi needs/wants and is used to thanks to Hy.

ironcat wrote:I think Andi was lucky in that there really were two guys cast who were good enough fits for her that she absolutely could envision marrying either one, but unlucky because she had to make a choice between them within the time restraints of the show.  Being the analytical prosecutor that she is, she was loathe to make a mistake or overlook anything and end up choosing wrong.  I suspect that's why she's not letting her heart rule her head YET and just going with the flow, but really trying to take as much time as she was allotted to "cover every base" (bad baseball analogy  ).

If it's true that she sends Nick home the morning of the FRC, I bet it's because she woke up that morning after having spent all the time she was going to get to spend with both guys, and realized her decision was made and it was Josh, then let her emotions totally take over her analytical side, and felt like she couldn't wait another moment to level with Nick and, for lack of a better phrase, get it over with.

this behind the mask approach for Andi is fine if she's trying to decide who to date -- cos starting to date allows for that process of learning about each other ....being vulnerable and starting to see if you're compatible...with the machinations that go into this show, the very SHORT timeframe in ADDITION to Andi being totally strategic, masked and controlled...it's like she more than other bettes in the past is delaying the true intimacy/connection till after the engagement
seancat and jash were VERY smart about revealing idiosyncrasies early on...vs. JP/Cat courting the lead...them exploring how their idiosyncrasies fit together through communication and awkwardness. Andi was clearly being courted and relishing every single moment of the courting process till the proclamation and lapping it up like ice cream...I think Andi is more guilty of being more closed off than many leads I've seen recently...I'm not saying courting doesn't work...I'm just saying Andi is going to get a life lesson about the value of vulnerability in relationships very very soon! and it's in the imperfect spaces where you learn who your true life partner will be.... not the spaces of being showered attention/being given what you want...

emusha wrote:

ironcat wrote:I think Andi was lucky in that there really were two guys cast who were good enough fits for her that she absolutely could envision marrying either one, but unlucky because she had to make a choice between them within the time restraints of the show.  Being the analytical prosecutor that she is, she was loathe to make a mistake or overlook anything and end up choosing wrong.  I suspect that's why she's not letting her heart rule her head YET and just going with the flow, but really trying to take as much time as she was allotted to "cover every base" (bad baseball analogy  ).

If it's true that she sends Nick home the morning of the FRC, I bet it's because she woke up that morning after having spent all the time she was going to get to spend with both guys, and realized her decision was made and it was Josh, then let her emotions totally take over her analytical side, and felt like she couldn't wait another moment to level with Nick and, for lack of a better phrase, get it over with.

this behind the mask approach for Andi is fine if she's trying to decide who to date -- cos starting to date allows for that process of learning about each other ....being vulnerable and starting to see if you're compatible...with the machinations that go into this show, the very SHORT timeframe in ADDITION to Andi being totally strategic, masked and controlled...it's like she more than other bettes in the past is delaying the true intimacy/connection till after the engagement
seancat and jash were VERY smart about revealing idiosyncrasies early on...vs. JP/Cat courting the lead...them exploring how their idiosyncrasies fit together through communication and awkwardness. Andi was clearly being courted and relishing every single moment of the courting process till the proclamation and lapping it up like ice cream...I think Andi is more guilty of being more closed off than many leads I've seen recently...I'm not saying courting doesn't work...I'm just saying Andi is going to get a life lesson about the value of vulnerability in relationships very very soon! and it's in the imperfect spaces where you learn who your true life partner will be.... not the spaces of being showered attention/being given what you want...

Well, apparently she has revealed to Josh her brattiness and divaness, since he seems to know all about it.  And strangely enough, she has said about both guys that they really SEE her, so I'm not sure she has been wearing a "mask" and hiding who the real Andi is, warts and all.  IMO, she's just been delaying making her final decision and allowing the complete vulnerability of acknowledging that you are madly in love with somebody to overwhelm her by keeping the possibility of the other guy alive as an alternative.  It's rather bloodless but, considering the poor success rate of the process, who's to say it won't be just as effective?