Juan Pablo Galavis - Nikki Ferrell - Bachelor 18 - Discussion

eirekay wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:What kind of woman won't move so a man can stay in the same place with his daughter?

IMO, one who isn't getting the kind of commitment from their partner that shows the partner is fully invested.  Nikki is a planner.  JP is not.  Without a clear plan that moves a relationship forward, why would anyone give up a good job and closeness to family.  Why should Nikki move to Miami when JP hasn't even introduced her to Camilla as more than a "friend"?

I also think that fully appreciating JP's family situation, with everyone living in such close quarters, may impact the reality of what moving to Miami means.  Does it mean moving into and accepting that living situation? I would find living in the same complex with my in-laws totally unacceptable.

Thank you, exactly ^THIS!!!!!

umngirl wrote:

whit90 wrote:

umngirl wrote:

Nikki wasn't paid for the quotes though. Pretty sure they talked to her on the "red carpet" of the Pool After Dark event.

If you read the article she sat down with them to give the interview I can not imagine she did not get paid.

Again, most likely happened at that event and doesn't indicate payment.

We'll have to agree to disagree.

umngirl I have to agree with you; this interview most likely took place at the Pool After Dark event and I seriously doubt that Nikki got paid to give the interview. There's more of a possibility in my mind that Nikki could have been paid to go to the event, or that they might have comped her a room and or travel expenses to be there (I'm sure they paid Andi & Josh to be there). Nikki was there, so was a reporter for Life and Style. They talked. End of story.

eirekay wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:What kind of woman won't move so a man can stay in the same place with his daughter?

IMO, one who isn't getting the kind of commitment from their partner that shows the partner is fully invested.  Nikki is a planner.  JP is not.  Without a clear plan that moves a relationship forward, why would anyone give up a good job and closeness to family.  Why should Nikki move to Miami when JP hasn't even introduced her to Camilla as more than a "friend"?

I also think that fully appreciating JP's family situation, with everyone living in such close quarters, may impact the reality of what moving to Miami means.  Does it mean moving into and accepting that living situation? I would find living in the same complex with my in-laws totally unacceptable.

Again, I have to agree to disagree.  But then again, I guess when I was involved with a man who was in a situation like that I understood that I was going to move to be part of the family that the family dynamic wasn't changing for me.  

JPG has a daughter, so not wanting to move to be near her to me is selfish, IMO.  

Nurses can and have taken sabbaticals to work six months or so to live in another place and work.  Nikki, the planner, could have easily taken a six month leave of absence from her job and tried out Miami and then gone back if it didn't work.  Most hospitals will do this for their good nurses, since good nurses are really hard to find.  

I am not saying she had to, but yes, she could have.

Both were to blame in this relationship, but everyone criticizes JPG extensively, but to me they were both to blame.  Nikki used plenty of excuses when she could have tried harder too.  Also since the breakup, Nikki is the one seeking publicity actively, so to me, lets just call her as much of a fameho as him.  And since she complains about fans unlike him, this tends to irritate me much more.

stuckinsc wrote:

eirekay wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:What kind of woman won't move so a man can stay in the same place with his daughter?

IMO, one who isn't getting the kind of commitment from their partner that shows the partner is fully invested.  Nikki is a planner.  JP is not.  Without a clear plan that moves a relationship forward, why would anyone give up a good job and closeness to family.  Why should Nikki move to Miami when JP hasn't even introduced her to Camilla as more than a "friend"?

I also think that fully appreciating JP's family situation, with everyone living in such close quarters, may impact the reality of what moving to Miami means.  Does it mean moving into and accepting that living situation? I would find living in the same complex with my in-laws totally unacceptable.

Again, I have to agree to disagree.  But then again, I guess when I was involved with a man who was in a situation like that I understood that I was going to move to be part of the family that the family dynamic wasn't changing for me.  

JPG has a daughter, so not wanting to move to be near her to me is selfish, IMO.  

Nurses can and have taken sabbaticals to work six months or so to live in another place and work.  Nikki, the planner, could have easily taken a six month leave of absence from her job and tried out Miami and then gone back if it didn't work.  Most hospitals will do this for their good nurses, since good nurses are really hard to find.  

I am not saying she had to, but yes, she could have.

Both were to blame in this relationship, but everyone criticizes JPG extensively, but to me they were both to blame.  Nikki used plenty of excuses when she could have tried harder too.  Also since the breakup, Nikki is the one seeking publicity actively, so to me, lets just call her as much of a fameho as him.  And since she complains about fans unlike him, this tends to irritate me much more.

Great Post

But the break up has nothing to do with Miami IMO, so it seems moot for me. In order for them to talk about who's moving where, they would have needed to be at that place in the relationship. They weren't able to get serious really, and I think Nikki was a little closer but realized he just wasn't going to get there with her and vice versa.

Brought over from the fan thread with permission.

Post by soccerm3m Today at 9:41 pm
I saw that you could buy this week’s Life & Style magazine online so I went ahead and bought it.  My curiosity was getting the better of me.  I apologize for any typos ahead of time.  Here is a summary of the article:
• They tried hard.  Nikki felt like there were times when she tried harder but both wanted it to work.  She said they got to point where they were both exhausted from trying so hard.
• They start with her how she posted her IG rant about “Isn’t it pathetic……even worth a second of it” on 10/26.  Fans were thrilled that she finally realized that she could do better than JP and was moving on.
• Nikki was silent about what went down with JP until she sat down with L&S on 11/1 in Atlantic City.
• She said JP broke up with her via text messages on her birthday weekend.  She had tears in her eyes as she said it.  It all played out over a couple of days right before her bday.  They were going back and forth texting.  He was questioning the relationship and she was questioning it back. She sent the text back stating they should fight for their relationship and try and work it out. He never responded.
• Nikki was pissed by JP’s silence meaning he did not want to fight any more for the relationship.  She was angry and posted her IG post.  She said she should not have done it – she is impulsive.  She blocked him from Twitter and deleted his phone number although she has the number memorized.
• She did not want the bust-up to ruin her bday celebration with her friends so she pushed it under the rug.  She needed to process everything.
• They reconnected a few days later.  There was not a fight but just a sad acknowledgement that they were wasting each other’s time. Neither of them were happy.  She said the breakup was mutual.
• Why didn’t she say no long ago? JP did not propose but Nikki said she would have accepted if he had proposed.  She confessed that she did love him on overnight date in St. Lucia – he did not say it back and did not say it for months while they were dating.  She loved him and she wanted to let him know how she felt. She knew he would not say it back.
• They argued about him not saying the L word on CT.  He said he had to do with Venezuelan culture but she said it had to do with feelings.  She said it was hard when she was not hearing it back.
• JP did come around and say it but will keep details private because it was really special.
• ILU was not enough.  JP opened up emotionally but was not willing to move from Miami even though he can do his job as a consultant from anywhere.  Long distance was hard.  They saw each other every 2 weeks and have a great time – both love sports and lazy Saturdays watching ESPN and eating pizza but it was the time in between that was so hard.  You can not do long distance forever.
• Nikki works as pediatric nurse in KC and was not willing to relocate either.  They talked about moving to LA but she realized her life was in KC.  They were not willing to make the sacrifices or compromises to meet in the middle and make it work.
• It did not help that photos or stories emerged of JP getting close to other woman during time apart or that people would tweet her to leave him.  It is hard being in public eye.  She wishes she would have met him somewhere else.
• Why did she stay with him for so long?  She held out hope for marriage and children.  She cries talking about how much fun they had together.  He is a caring person she said tearfully.  I love him so much and I know he feels the same way.
• Nikki says a reconciliation is possible despite everything they have gone through.  They will have to be lots of compromising and sacrifices.  Who knows what the future holds but it was not working.
Here is information from little boxes on page:
• Never a normal couple.
• She has her wedding all planned out – she has had it planned since she was 6.  She filled her pinterest board with ideas for her wedding.
• Inside their biggest fight…they had some awful blowouts.  The biggest was when they were discussing details for a trip – out of nowhere he said you are f***ing up my life.  Nikki was horrified.  She was so angry that she hung up.  He called her back completely baffled.  She said I guess it is a phrase in Spanish but it does not translate into English the same way.
• Nikki addresses the rumors…They told Camila they were a couple in June but she knew anyway. She said he is a great dad. Did he cheat (Atlantic City) – he is not a playboy womanizing douchebag like everyone thinks.  They laughed about cheating rumors.  He is so honest that she never thought he could be unfaithful for a second.  He was too close to his Ex – Nikki said there was never anything inappropriate between JP and Carla.  When JP says he is down with something he means it.  Carla was very kind to her and supportive of their relationship.
• I had to choose between Juan and Andi – Nikki became bfs with Andi on the Bachelor.  It was very awkward when Andi quit the show based on JPs behavior.   She was stuck in the middle,  DO I defend my bf or do I defend my bf?  She felt like she had to choose.  On plus side she can now go to Andi’s wedding without worrying about JP being invited.
• She will never be the Bachelorette.  She would not do it after she saw what they did to JP.  She was disgusted with the franchise.  She wants nothing to do with them.  She felt they betrayed her and betrayed him.  What about BIP –she would rather stab her eyes with pencils.  She would never use term Bachelor family.
There is a headshot of Nikki with man’s blue oxford shirt that is unbuttoned – looks like she might be lying on a bed, maybe.

These are my thoughts:

Nikki is enjoying her time out of the spotlight isn't she?  

So are those fighting tweets around the time Josh made it clear that JPG wasn't his type of person and that he wouldn't be welcome at his wedding.  

Nikki maybe you should realize the reason you should have spoken up for JPG, was that while Andi was entitled to her opinion, she didn't need to drag JPG through that.  Andi had the right to not like JPG, but the way she handled it was wrong and if someone treats someone you love that way, maybe if you really love him, you stick up for him?

I posted this in the other thread.

She wanted him to say ILY, she wanted him to propose, and to move out of Miami. There's more to ILY than three little words, which JPG has been trying to say all along.

MeNikki

IMO, Josh and Andi have absolutely NOTHING to do with Juan and Nikki being together or breaking up. Nikki and Juan are grown ups and made the decision to date and now to break up. They had plenty of issues that had nothing to do with their family and friends.

They seem happy and better off apart. imo of course....

soccermom333 wrote:IMO, Josh and Andi have absolutely NOTHING to do with Juan and Nikki being together or breaking up.  Nikki and Juan are grown ups and made the decision to date and now to break up.  They had plenty of issues that had nothing to do with their family and friends.  

They seem happy and better off apart.    imo of course....

But it could have caused an argument between them.  I could imagine Nikki's saying to JPG  about Josh's comment: "he's entitled to his opinion"  that means she agrees with his opinion, that means she's contradicting herself because she said repeatedly that JPG is a great guy, that means Josh doesn't agree with Nikki.   I mean think about it, would you feel good if someone you love is defending her friend's boyfriend?  I wouldn't.  By no inviting JPG to the wedding, that means they don't have any respect to Nikki. Sorry but I think Andi and Josh don't respect Nikki at all and the sad thing is, she can't see that.    Last but not least, if it was the other way around, JPG saying about Josh, Andi would have slapped JPG already because Andi is not as naive as Nikki is

soccermom333 wrote:IMO, Josh and Andi have absolutely NOTHING to do with Juan and Nikki being together or breaking up.  Nikki and Juan are grown ups and made the decision to date and now to break up.  They had plenty of issues that had nothing to do with their family and friends.  

They seem happy and better off apart.    imo of course....

Sorry, but Josh should not be insulting his fiance's boyfriends or girlfriends and their significant others in the media. He is entitled to his opinion, but he doesn't need to share it with everyone. He, in my opinion, was a jerk to talk about JPG that way. When Nikki and JPG were together if Nikki was important enough to Andi to be in the wedding, Josh should have been able to put his big boy panties on and deal with JPG being there. It should be Andi's choice.

Was it the sole cause of the break up? Nope, but does Josh need to learn to not say every thing in his head? Yup, again it is not just his wedding, if his fiance wants someone in their wedding, then IMO, he needs to accept their significant other coming with them. And yes, I would say this about any one else too.

Also, I'm sure Andi is fine with Josh badmouthing her BFF's boyfriend. She even defended him. But Nikki would never accept that from JPG. Like I said about Andi slapping JPG if he had insulted Josh, Nikki would have also slapped JPG if he'd insulted her BFF's boyfriend.

luvlady345 wrote:

eirekay wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:What kind of woman won't move so a man can stay in the same place with his daughter?

IMO, one who isn't getting the kind of commitment from their partner that shows the partner is fully invested.  Nikki is a planner.  JP is not.  Without a clear plan that moves a relationship forward, why would anyone give up a good job and closeness to family.  Why should Nikki move to Miami when JP hasn't even introduced her to Camilla as more than a "friend"?

I also think that fully appreciating JP's family situation, with everyone living in such close quarters, may impact the reality of what moving to Miami means.  Does it mean moving into and accepting that living situation? I would find living in the same complex with my in-laws totally unacceptable.

Thank you, exactly ^THIS!!!!!

Actually now that we have new info, a woman who already bought a house in KC without telling the one she hounded to  hear ILY from, and one who has told everyone she was going to break up with him on labour day. However there was this elaborate romantic trip to Bali (no wonder we couldnt figure out why the trip to Bali then the breakup) so she had to wait till after the trip. But then he wrote te amo in the sand, so she couldn't break up with him after that. Then she realizes ILY really isn't enough.

She needs to prioritize her life. She needs to figure out what's really important in life, because when she gets her way, she's done with it, on to the next MeNikki. I'm surprised considering her profession, she would be more adjusted and grounded when it comes to personal life outside of work.