Re: Brooks Forester - Bachelorette 9 - Fan Thread - Discussion #1

[eusebeia]

Brooks is nothing if not a thinker, so with this new critical piece of information that Des has loved him since practically the beginning, he'll go back and revisit their whole relationship in a new light, moment by moment.   (And understand how she was playacting the whole time with the other guys.  From his comment about "hoping" she cared for Chris or Drew I'm guessing his minders lied to him about her feelings for them.)
 
His "You can say anything" comment threw me.  Did he really not know the constraints the Leads are under?  If so, then her failure to say her ILY earlier would have been playing on his mind big time as well.  
 
CH's comments are bugging me.  Talk about deflecting blame onto Des and Brooks, when the real blame falls on TB franchise.   After Des' confession in Madeira, the moral thing to do would have been to level with Chris and Drew and end the show.  Instead they make Des basically lie to them.  
 
Ugh.

[latergator]

Brooks can not go from all the emotions he had after the HTD to leaving her...just can't be. If you have doubts go back and view their HTD again. He is falling in love, the walls around his heart are coming down and he is pleased how it went with his family. He said he was closer to seeing the union of marriage than he has ever been and with all he is feeling he doesn't want to see her go. He is afraid of getting his heart broken and leaves her before she leaves him. I am keeping the faith that they love each other and will work it out...through the hills and the valleys....

rolly... i wish there was a love button

[Guest]

Brooks can not go from all the emotions he had after the HTD to leaving her...just can't be. If you have doubts go back and view their HTD again. He is falling in love, the walls around his heart are coming down and he is pleased how it went with his family. He said he was closer to seeing the union of marriage than he has ever been and with all he is feeling he doesn't want to see her go. He is afraid of getting his heart broken and leaves her before she leaves him. I am keeping the faith that they love each other and will work it out...through the hills and the valleys....

rolly... i wish there was a love button

Rolly, this is what I thought before last night. But it happened. Now I think there's no possible way he comes back from the things he said in that breakup. So maybe that too can happen. I can't make any sense of this in my logical mind.

I feel like TPTB's manipulations are working as well on me this season as the did on Brooks. And also that my opinions are as in doubt and changing as his feelings. This is so crazy.

[biolalyss]

Boy last night was hard to watch.  They were both so torn up.  I don't think Brooks was that torn because he hurt her, there was more to it than that.  

I am trying to figure out what happened between HTD and last nite.

HTD:
Runs up to  grabs and hugs her.
Says where you been all my life and keeps kissing her.
Thinks they have a great relationship but he does forget a little when he is not with her.
Tells his mom he is pleasantly surprised on where he is with Des.  
The walls he has built around his heart are coming down.
Admits he sees himself closer to a union of marriage with Des than ever before.

So 1 week later we get the emotional turmoil that we saw.

Shocked when she said I love you.
Why didn't you tell me this before
Did not want to leave her
Already misses what they had a lot
Thought she conflicted because there were other guys still in the picture.  But she tells him she wanted to give him her whole heart.
Crying because he is just as heartbroken as Des and does not want to leave her.

The only thing I can come up with is the RC when Zak was let go. He started thinking maybe he could be next so the walls that were coming down went right back up.  He did not know how she felt for him so he was doubting what they had. I think this turn of events made he realize that he does love her.

I think had he know she loved him things might have been different and would have given him reassurance that he needed.

Does anyone else have any other ideas about this?

ITA with everything you've mentioned, and I want to add to what others have said too in that I think a lot of producer/handler manipulation is in play here. Otherwise, how could Brooks have been SO shocked to hear that she loves him, when a lot of other guys even saw their connection clearly? The powers that be knew Des picked him early on, she admitted it to Chris H, they had to do "damage control" to make people doubt. Unfortunately, their "social experiment" led to the decline of Brooks' emotional well-being (that does seem to happen a lot on this show) and he kept "living in his head" between times he got to see and spend time with Des... He admitted second-guessing a lot. But as soon as she left and he was so distraught, I saw what his childhood attachment injuries (dad leaving) have unconsciously done to him. All of a sudden, her walking away from him brought some clarity (though not immediate, but I think we will see it next week). His doubts about his heart and head being in alignment came into clearer focus and he was all emotion...

One thing I am confident of due to my profession (MA in Marital & Family Therapy) is that our bodies and emotions often contain "truth" that our mind isn't always prepared to handle. What I mean by that is all of Brooks' childhood experiences/memories are contained in his body and heart and the "right brain" (AKA emotional brain) came flooding out when he watched Des walk away (i.e. separation from another person he loves). I'm sorry if this is confusing to read- it makes sense in my head! But I said all of that to convey why I believe he is just now figuring out that what his head and heart are saying actually DOES agree... it took awhile to recognize because of all the other factors- being in the bubble, being a "thinker," childhood abandonment/trauma, hearing the other guys' experiences, and producer/handler manipulation. JMO of course.

[Piper61]

Gosh, I feel invisible. Am I on everyone's Foe list or something?

:Frown: 

[Piper61]

Brooks is nothing if not a thinker, so with this new critical piece of information that Des has loved him since practically the beginning, he'll go back and revisit their whole relationship in a new light, moment by moment.   (And understand how she was playacting the whole time with the other guys.  From his comment about "hoping" she cared for Chris or Drew I'm guessing his minders lied to him about her feelings for them.)
 
His "You can say anything" comment threw me.  Did he really not know the constraints the Leads are under?  If so, then her failure to say her ILY earlier would have been playing on his mind big time as well.  
 
CH's comments are bugging me.  Talk about deflecting blame onto Des and Brooks, when the real blame falls on TB franchise.   After Des' confession in Madeira, the moral thing to do would have been to level with Chris and Drew and end the show.  Instead they make Des basically lie to them.  
 
Ugh.

Producer manipulations is written all over this as far as feeding any lingering doubts Brooks had. I truly wonder why Brooks went back to Idaho, why he even thought he would be able to take that time. Was it his idea exclusively?

[biolalyss]

Gosh, I feel invisible. Am I on everyone's Foe list or something?

:Frown: 

Hi Piper, sorry you feel invisible... did something happen? I wasn't sure what you were referring to...

[Piper61]

Boy last night was hard to watch.  They were both so torn up.  I don't think Brooks was that torn because he hurt her, there was more to it than that.  

I am trying to figure out what happened between HTD and last nite.

HTD:
Runs up to  grabs and hugs her.
Says where you been all my life and keeps kissing her.
Thinks they have a great relationship but he does forget a little when he is not with her.
Tells his mom he is pleasantly surprised on where he is with Des.  
The walls he has built around his heart are coming down.
Admits he sees himself closer to a union of marriage with Des than ever before.

So 1 week later we get the emotional turmoil that we saw.

Shocked when she said I love you.
Why didn't you tell me this before
Did not want to leave her
Already misses what they had a lot
Thought she conflicted because there were other guys still in the picture.  But she tells him she wanted to give him her whole heart.
Crying because he is just as heartbroken as Des and does not want to leave her.

The only thing I can come up with is the RC when Zak was let go. He started thinking maybe he could be next so the walls that were coming down went right back up.  He did not know how she felt for him so he was doubting what they had. I think this turn of events made he realize that he does love her.

I think had he know she loved him things might have been different and would have given him reassurance that he needed.

Does anyone else have any other ideas about this?

ITA with everything you've mentioned, and I want to add to what others have said too in that I think a lot of producer/handler manipulation is in play here. Otherwise, how could Brooks have been SO shocked to hear that she loves him, when a lot of other guys even saw their connection clearly? The powers that be knew Des picked him early on, she admitted it to Chris H, they had to do "damage control" to make people doubt. Unfortunately, their "social experiment" led to the decline of Brooks' emotional well-being (that does seem to happen a lot on this show) and he kept "living in his head" between times he got to see and spend time with Des... He admitted second-guessing a lot. But as soon as she left and he was so distraught, I saw what his childhood attachment injuries (dad leaving) have unconsciously done to him. All of a sudden, her walking away from him brought some clarity (though not immediate, but I think we will see it next week). His doubts about his heart and head being in alignment came into clearer focus and he was all emotion...

One thing I am confident of due to my profession (MA in Marital & Family Therapy) is that our bodies and emotions often contain "truth" that our mind isn't always prepared to handle. What I mean by that is all of Brooks' childhood experiences/memories are contained in his body and heart and the "right brain" (AKA emotional brain) came flooding out when he watched Des walk away (i.e. separation from another person he loves). I'm sorry if this is confusing to read- it makes sense in my head! But I said all of that to convey why I believe he is just now figuring out that what his head and heart are saying actually DOES agree... it took awhile to recognize because of all the other factors- being in the bubble, being a "thinker," childhood abandonment/trauma, hearing the other guys' experiences, and producer/handler manipulation. JMO of course.

Thank you for this, I love your post, and I understand completely what you are saying. And nannymargie, good post as well!

[nannymargie]

Gosh, I feel invisible. Am I on everyone's Foe list or something?

:Frown: 

Why are you saying that piper? You are not on my foe list at all.

[biolalyss]

Boy last night was hard to watch.  They were both so torn up.  I don't think Brooks was that torn because he hurt her, there was more to it than that.  

I am trying to figure out what happened between HTD and last nite.

HTD:
Runs up to  grabs and hugs her.
Says where you been all my life and keeps kissing her.
Thinks they have a great relationship but he does forget a little when he is not with her.
Tells his mom he is pleasantly surprised on where he is with Des.  
The walls he has built around his heart are coming down.
Admits he sees himself closer to a union of marriage with Des than ever before.

So 1 week later we get the emotional turmoil that we saw.

Shocked when she said I love you.
Why didn't you tell me this before
Did not want to leave her
Already misses what they had a lot
Thought she conflicted because there were other guys still in the picture.  But she tells him she wanted to give him her whole heart.
Crying because he is just as heartbroken as Des and does not want to leave her.

The only thing I can come up with is the RC when Zak was let go. He started thinking maybe he could be next so the walls that were coming down went right back up.  He did not know how she felt for him so he was doubting what they had. I think this turn of events made he realize that he does love her.

I think had he know she loved him things might have been different and would have given him reassurance that he needed.

Does anyone else have any other ideas about this?

ITA with everything you've mentioned, and I want to add to what others have said too in that I think a lot of producer/handler manipulation is in play here. Otherwise, how could Brooks have been SO shocked to hear that she loves him, when a lot of other guys even saw their connection clearly? The powers that be knew Des picked him early on, she admitted it to Chris H, they had to do "damage control" to make people doubt. Unfortunately, their "social experiment" led to the decline of Brooks' emotional well-being (that does seem to happen a lot on this show) and he kept "living in his head" between times he got to see and spend time with Des... He admitted second-guessing a lot. But as soon as she left and he was so distraught, I saw what his childhood attachment injuries (dad leaving) have unconsciously done to him. All of a sudden, her walking away from him brought some clarity (though not immediate, but I think we will see it next week). His doubts about his heart and head being in alignment came into clearer focus and he was all emotion...

One thing I am confident of due to my profession (MA in Marital & Family Therapy) is that our bodies and emotions often contain "truth" that our mind isn't always prepared to handle. What I mean by that is all of Brooks' childhood experiences/memories are contained in his body and heart and the "right brain" (AKA emotional brain) came flooding out when he watched Des walk away (i.e. separation from another person he loves). I'm sorry if this is confusing to read- it makes sense in my head! But I said all of that to convey why I believe he is just now figuring out that what his head and heart are saying actually DOES agree... it took awhile to recognize because of all the other factors- being in the bubble, being a "thinker," childhood abandonment/trauma, hearing the other guys' experiences, and producer/handler manipulation. JMO of course.

Thank you for this, I love your post, and I understand completely what you are saying. And nannymargie, good post as well!

Thanks Piper! I'm glad I made sense to you :Smiley: 

[atem]

Gosh, I feel invisible. Am I on everyone's Foe list or something?

:Frown: 

Heck no.

[Piper61]

biolalyss and nannymargie nothing specific happened except that I've been posting and wondering if anyone agrees or feels the way I do. Maybe I'm feeling like I'm in touch with Brooks' insecurities.   I need to get a grip.

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