Re: Sara Lavagnino - Ready For Love - Fan Thread - Thread #1

[Freedom14]

I've been a long time lurker and it has got to the point where I feel compelled to "speak out."

I get such a kick out of the analyzing and over-analyzing of crazy small details for which there could be a million explanations. It's at a point where people have lost their ability to see the forest through the trees.

There's no doubt in my mind that Tim chooses Sara and here's why:
1. In an interview he said this is the easiest relationship he's ever been in - they don't fight about anything and the relationship has steadily progressed over the 8 months they have been together. With Jenna there would be fights - look how she behaved with Siham.
2. Jenna is the jealous type (which he does not want) - she admitted that her behaviour has been interpreted as jealous and if you look at her reactions to things other girls have said on the stage, there have been several instances of her jealousy - it's written all over her fact with the rolling eyes and shaking of her head. Trust me - she and Tim would certainly fight about that and you can't tell me that if she was with Tim right now, she wouldn't be raging with jealousy over Sara's various twitter and facebook postings.
3. He knows he has a deeper and more meaningful connection with Sara that would last the test of time - the connection he has with Jenna is just a surface one.
4. Tim's dad mentioned the fact that Jenna is young and may see love merely as a feeling when it is so much more. Tim's first wife bailed after 3 years and she was too young to fully appreciate or know how to take the bad with the good. That would be a huge red flag with Jenna.
5. He wants someone he can trust to be loyal and faithful when he's touring and someone who supports his career. Sara totally gets what's involved. No way Jenna does. Groupies never do....
6. Who do you see as the mother of his children?
7. When he and Sara are together, they can't get close enough - you can sense they just want to crawl inside each other. I remember having that feeling when you are first falling in love.

The answer is right there is front of all of us. Let common sense prevail people!

Laughable.

So what's going to happen when it's not Sara? You have put a lot of effort into being wrong if it's Jenna...

[happygolucky]

Doc - sorry, that I called you out, to the "stand".

Thank you for expressing more adequate & competent reflection.
And you're absolute right, since usually we have our "negative" inclinations out of insecurity.

Maybe I should add, that the difference can be:
whether you're insecure about your relationship with someone (this means not trusting the other or knowing that the base is not strong enough) or you're insecure about yourself (not trusting your own feelings/value/instinct/belief).

[docnash14]

Doc - sorry, that I called you out, to the "stand".

Thank you for expressing more adequate & competent reflection.
And you're absolute right, since usually we have our "negative" inclinations out of insecurity.

Maybe I should add, that the difference can be:
whether you're insecure about your relationship with someone (this means not trusting the other or knowing that the base is not strong enough) or you're insecure about yourself (not trusting your own feelings/value/instinct/belief).

Wonderful distinction; however, either can and usually does influence the relationship with your significant other particularly sense many of us don't have the conscious awareness of that distinction.

[MVMom39forever]

Let's try a little kindness

and not look for opportunities to rip apart a contestant that you've never even met.

This is a television show folks.

[Idlemess]

Let's try a little kindness

and not look for opportunities to rip apart a contestant that you've never even met.

This is a television show folks.

[Guest]

Actually the rules state that it's ok to have a negative opinion of the contestants, just not ok to be disrespectful towards other members. In this case, she considers Jenna a groupie. We can disagree, but not call it a laughable or say she shouldn't state her opinion. That's my understanding of the rules, but of course the rules also say not to moderate others, so I'll shut up now.

Think about outrageous contestants like Tierra. You can't restrict the conversation to kindness or it's not real.

[noobsleuth]

1) A girl who is territorial, makes her stand from the beginning and if a guy doesn't give her reasons to think otherwise, she will never act upon that jealousy against him.
Meaning, she won't direct her anger/frustration/dissatisfaction towards the guy, but rather towards the person who is threatening the space she circled. And only if it's necessary and with many different means, that might not even affect the guy in the process.

YES!!!!! Thank you for saying this!

Jenna is like a mama (insert any protective animal here). If something threatens what she holds dear, they pay, not the object of affection. That she protects. If anything I see her fighting a flirtatious groupie, not Tim. Tim just gets to sit on the sidelines and wish there was a jello pit somewhere nearby.

[Guest]

Let's try a little kindness

and not look for opportunities to rip apart a contestant that you've never even met.

This is a television show folks.

And it's Sunday...

[Newto]

In the final analysis, this is just a TV show, designed for entertainment. The producers do not really expect any romance to come from these shows; if it does, it is an unexpected bonus. We become invested in people we know nothing about and, for the majority of us, will never meet. That is our choice, but to denigrate others whose opinions differ is destructive. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, whether or not you feel their opinion is wrong, and is entitled to be respected.

In another thread, I asked for us to behave like ladies and gentlemen and not to let this place deteriorate to the level of the motherboard, and I got some good feedback about that. Let's all be friends and not let things get out of hand. JMHO.

[melisma]

Let's try a little kindness

and not look for opportunities to rip apart a contestant that you've never even met.

This is a television show folks.

Not to YOU, MVMom, in any way....but to anyone who gets too wrapped up in all of these shows (and I hope you don't mind that I semi-plagarized your thoughts):

Let's try a little common sense

and not look for opportunities to maniacally gush over a contestant that you've never even met.

This is a television show folks.

[2observe]

I am not going to address Jenna specifically but will make some general comments.

Happy, I agree that jealousy can be related to need to stake one's own territory. Indeed, I believe that all feelings serve a function. Specifically, related to jealousy there are published articles on evolutionary psychology that addresses exactly of what you speak - that jealousy by stimulating the need to stake one's territory can promote survival of the fittest - in this context, emotional survival.

That being said, I have to disagree that it is not also rooted in insecurity. Further, I daresay that all of us have some level of insecurity and since a relationship is a system that insecurity will show up in some manner and some degree in that system.

Doc, just want to add a few comments to what you've posted above. Tim and Jenna would not have the typical/normal type of relationship, because he is a member of a popular band. This can/will lead to exposure to "groupie" types of situations that could trigger insecurities/jealously. I think that this is what the orginial poster was pointing out.

[luvlady345]

2Observe groupies would bring out jealousy/ insecurities in any woman not just Jenna imo.

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