Re: The Bachelor: Women Tell All - 3/04 - Discussion Thread

by shoepie Fri Mar 01, 2013 7:15 pm

I was a counselor for many years. It is common for a man to 'handle' a woman/spouse. Men are not as adept at speaking their 'truth,' as women. I am using corny verbal shorthand here to get my point across in less than 20 paragraphs! They do this to avoid a reaction that would make them uncomfortable. And what happens? They get exactly what they are aiming to avoid. It never works.

Ashlee's reaction was appropriate for the situation and I applaud her for not crumbling in Seans arms in tears. She had every right to be angry. Had I not been spoiled I would have chosen her as F1. My 4 unspoiled friends had her in this position until this week.

Under the guise of not hurting someone, they tell them what they want to hear to avoid drama. This is to make YOU comfortable not the other person 100% of the time.

Sean, well intended, did lead Ashlee and Desiree on, big time. I do think he was confused until the end because it is a very short time as we have talked about endlessly in each season. I understand that. He proposed to the woman he wanted to date.

I watched his eye contact with each of F4 and if I were on the other side of that gaze I would know I was the one.

ETA..Thanks for the pictures Love!!

I will end with....this season was as dull as it gets.

partytime

Let's just dance, eat well and get pissed on Sake as we wait for the Bachelorette.

by umngirl Fri Mar 01, 2013 7:18 pm

I know I might be the only one, but I think AshLee's hair is too blonde at the bottom. And clearly whatever "confrontation" they had wasn't that bad. Seems like they are making mountains out of molehills because Tierra is the only one this season who brought drama.

by momoftrips Fri Mar 01, 2013 7:20 pm

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by IrishGal Fri Mar 01, 2013 9:52 pm

umngirl wrote:I know I might be the only one, but I think AshLee's hair is too blonde at the bottom. And clearly whatever "confrontation" they had wasn't that bad. Seems like they are making mountains out of molehills because Tierra is the only one this season who brought drama.

Ash's hair looks ridiculous. Not the length, but the obvious fakeness of the length given the color. Who encourages these beautiful woman to do that?

by Kwpn12 Fri Mar 01, 2013 9:58 pm

So, just saw a story about WTA on Insider and it showed AshLee asking Sean, " Why did you tell me that you had no feelings for the other girls?". He denied it.

by Starshine_16 Fri Mar 01, 2013 10:02 pm

Kwpn12 wrote:So, just saw a story about WTA on Insider and it showed AshLee asking Sean, " Why did you tell me that you had no feelings for the other girls?". He denied it.

Unfortunately I think AshLee misinterpreted a LOT of what Sean did or said as confirmation that she was the one.

by Kwpn12 Fri Mar 01, 2013 10:06 pm

AshLee then said that she figured that Sean wouldn't "man up" and admit that he said that.

by ThankMeLater Fri Mar 01, 2013 10:13 pm

I don't know who to believe tbh

by IrishGal Fri Mar 01, 2013 10:15 pm

Kwpn12 wrote:So, just saw a story about WTA on Insider and it showed AshLee asking Sean, " Why did you tell me that you had no feelings for the other girls?". He denied it.

Oh no! I so hope not. She is such a sweetheart and she will find the right man...it boggles my mind that she went on this show given her (justifiable) insecurities. Of course, TPTB ate it all up.

by Kashathediva Fri Mar 01, 2013 10:33 pm

IrishGal wrote:
umngirl wrote:I know I might be the only one, but I think AshLee's hair is too blonde at the bottom. And clearly whatever "confrontation" they had wasn't that bad. Seems like they are making mountains out of molehills because Tierra is the only one this season who brought drama.

Ash's hair looks ridiculous. Not the length, but the obvious fakeness of the length given the color. Who encourages these beautiful woman to do that?

Probably the same mastermind that talked Yawn into his own mini hair extensions to create a more full head of hair.

by renaissance Fri Mar 01, 2013 10:38 pm

Kwpn12 wrote:AshLee then said that she figured that Sean wouldn't "man up" and admit that he said that.

do u have a link

by jcrbil Fri Mar 01, 2013 10:49 pm

Starshine_16 wrote:
Kwpn12 wrote:So, just saw a story about WTA on Insider and it showed AshLee asking Sean, " Why did you tell me that you had no feelings for the other girls?". He denied it.

Unfortunately I think AshLee misinterpreted a LOT of what Sean did or said as confirmation that she was the one.

Okay, I'm going into defend Sean mode because I do believe he has a lot of integrity.... but before I do please realize that I believe no one is perfect- which is why we need grace.

So, do I think AshLee believes Sean told her he had no feelings for anyone else? Yes, I believe that she believes that. Do I think that Sean, himself, told her that? No. I do think she heard that, but more likely from her handler, someone in production- we know they are wont to place such ideas in the minds of the participants and AshLee, I think, was particularly vulnerable to those thoughts. I do believe that Sean told AshLee that he had strong feelings toward her- which I believe to be true. He told her, as he told others, that he could see being married to her. I don't think any of these women would have been in Thailand if he could not picture that. Does that mean he would be married to any of them? Not necessarily- and obviously there would only be one at the end. If AshLee had not been blinded by her own feelings she may have, as all the other girls did, realize that Sean was paying attention to and seemed to have feelings for other women. I am certain that none could plumb the depths of those feelings- but then Sean hadn't figured it out yet, either.

It was clear to me, by what AshLee said in the ITM immediately following her HTD that she knew that Sean would be committed at such a time as when he said, "I love you" which to him meant (s) the same as "I want to spend my life with you, marry you". She said that at that point their life together would go forward. Clearly, she had no doubts it was her. Did her parents take Sean saying that he had no intent to break AshLee's heart to be that she would be the chosen one (we weren't there and only have the edited tape as evidence- but given her dad's tweet that may be the case) and did they then tell her that? Did she hold on to the words that AshLee was like no one else (true) as meaning she was the one? We weren't present, we will never see or hear all the tape, but if you had "given" yourself to someone who could only be non-specific in his declarations to you, you might come to some conclusions. (I know that I can have meaningful conversations with my husband of 32 years and he might refer, later, to something we spoke about and I wonder if we were in the same room at the time because you'd think we had just played the kids' game "telephone" and he was 30 or so people removed from me- just sayin').

Anyway, never a good idea to publicly challenge anyone's integrity. It shows absolute disrespect which maybe what AshLee believes Sean showed her, so she is returning the favor. But I think instead, that there was a major miscommunication which in the long run may have become the norm for their relationship- and become toxic.

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