Episode 9 (FD's) - 2/25 - Bachelor 17 - Discussion - Spoilers

I called my MIL yesterday and talked about "the Bachelor" with her and was pleasantly surprised. First off, let me just say that my FIL has seen the light and with his bias - he thinks Catherine is beautiful - he proclaims Catherine is "the winner" (his words). My MIL's opinion differed from him, she believes "it's the other girl, not Catherine. Sad she can't remember Lindsay's name. Then she said, "I think he made the right decision there." So I answered, "Huh?"

She said that he made the right decision in letting AshLee go, "...there were a lot of things going on with that girl that didn't seem right." I say, "Uhmmm, mom last week, you thought she was going to end up with him." "Well, I didn't see it then but I am talking about the way she looked like she was out of her mind after her elimination. I saw a demented woman reaction from her," she responded. In my mind I can picture Selma saying, "You're going to WIFE THAT?"

"So why do you think it is Lindsay?"

"I don't know, I think they just have the same backgrounds and because he is somewhat conservative and does not like drama he will pick her."

"Do you think he will propose?"

"I saw a magazine at the grocery store that he will get engaged." I say, "Yeah that's what's trending and that he's going to get married by the end of summer."

"Then it must be Catherine."

"Huh?"

"He's going to propose to Catherine."

"Why do you say that?"

"They are that in love. He [Sean] seems to be a nice person, very decent and the best Bachelor I've seen so far. I can tell he's open-minded and that would explain why he fell in love with her and will not wait to marry her."

Big smile from me then we moved on to another subject. So this week the love story was oozing off the screen. But I think everyone is asking now if he proposed too soon? How sure is he? Will they make it? I thought I wasn't going to write my Bachelor Musings this week, but I had to ponder these questions and as usual will have to pen down my thoughts... I post those in the F1 thread."

#AdorableMotherFatherInLaw Apir (Highfives)!

First of all, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THIS TIME, CATDWOMAN? *handsonhips*

You should have been posting your "In Laws" recaps since episode 1!!

Catdwoman50 wrote:
Big smile from me then we moved on to another subject. So this week the love story was oozing off the screen. But I think everyone is asking now if he proposed too soon? How sure is he? Will they make it? I thought I wasn't going to write my Bachelor Musings this week, but I had to ponder these questions and as usual will have to pen down my thoughts... I post those in the F1 thread."

I agree, it was there. I saw it.

But here is the thing: they haven't tested out the relationship in real life yet, at all. And that is where the deal will be made or broken.

Mimi27 wrote:There is a marked difference between Sean and the other bachelors who have come before him. He is ready and willing to get married and settle down now! He's not looking for just a good time, a chance to date beautiful women, or an adventure. He wants a wife! Sean is a methodical goal setter. IMO he has decided to marry before he turns 30 in November.

Catherine and Sean are in love and have committed their lives to each other. By the time the season is over, they will have already been engaged for four months. Word is that they are planning a wedding by the end of the summer. That would not surprise me. The difference? Celibacy.

My concern with how the celibacy factors into all this is that it might push the marriage and prolong the bubble period. Hormones are a pretty strong driving factor. I just HOPE that if that happens, they really have all the other compatibility things falling into place; they are very different, and they really have not had a chance to test any of that out yet in a real life setting.

Some good premarital counseling like many churches require would probably be smart. Take all those surveys, have all those conversations.

dw_a_mom wrote:

Mimi27 wrote:There is a marked difference between Sean and the other bachelors who have come before him. He is ready and willing to get married and settle down now! He's not looking for just a good time, a chance to date beautiful women, or an adventure. He wants a wife! Sean is a methodical goal setter. IMO he has decided to marry before he turns 30 in November.

Catherine and Sean are in love and have committed their lives to each other. By the time the season is over, they will have already been engaged for four months. Word is that they are planning a wedding by the end of the summer. That would not surprise me. The difference? Celibacy.

My concern with how the celibacy factors into all this is that it might push the marriage and prolong the bubble period. Hormones are a pretty strong driving factor. I just HOPE that if that happens, they really have all the other compatibility things falling into place; they are very different, and they really have not had a chance to test any of that out yet in a real life setting.

Some good premarital counseling like many churches require would probably be smart. Take all those surveys, have all those conversations.

I agree completely! My favorite sentence: You don't know what you don't know that you don't know.

dw_a_mom mentioned church counseling. I'm fairly sure Catholic churches have that - used to be called Pre-Canaan - not sure. Classes like that are very helpful. Our Lutheran sessions were very condensed and not especially helpful because the minister had never conducted a wedding before - sort of wish we had a thorough course.

I don't think many couples break up because of anything they learn in the courses but it does give them a chance to talk about important topics.

RealityEscape wrote:dw_a_mom mentioned church counseling. I'm fairly sure Catholic churches have that - used to be called Pre-Canaan - not sure. Classes like that are very helpful. Our Lutheran sessions were very condensed and not especially helpful because the minister had never conducted a wedding before - sort of wish we had a thorough course.

I don't think many couples break up because of anything they learn in the courses but it does give them a chance to talk about important topics.

Yep - it varies by parish but every Catholic couple needs some type of pre-Cana. From what I rember almost 20 years ago going through it, it Can vary from a day-long class (totally not sufficient) to a weekend retreat to a months long series of meetings with a married couple in the parish.

I would bet that irrespective of denomination, since they're both Christian they'll have access to and would take advantage of some type of program.
And I would agree that it might not prevent a breakup but certainly helps a couple have time to focus and appreciate the covenant into which they're entering. :Smiley:

Cari wrote: #AdorableMotherFatherInLaw Apir (Highfives)!

First of all, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THIS TIME, CATDWOMAN? *handsonhips*

You should have been posting your "In Laws" recaps since episode 1!!

I've been trying to consolidate my thoughts about this week and it hasn't been going very well. I have many MANY thoughts about this week.

I've been saying this for several weeks. Ashlee was WAY more invested in the relationship than Sean was. It was clear to me that Sean was not as into her as she was into him. Even watching Sean's BL during their Fantasy Date showed the obvious physical distance that Sean was keeping.I think Sean wants someone he could laugh with and have fun with in addition to the serious stuff. However he never saw AshLee's fun side.He had given her PLENTY of time to SHOW him that she could have fun.Several things stuck out to me about AshLee's exit ITM which I'll discuss later.Sean finally realized that AshLee still had some walls up despite the repetition of the trust idea and he realized that he couldn't keep rehashing the same issues.

I finally started to see what Sean saw in Lindsay but it's definitely too late.I think Sean's physically attracted to her and it;s obvious that they can laugh and be silly but still be serious at times. I do still wonder about her maturity level.Sean's BL was infinitely better with Lindsay than it was with AshLee but I think there's still questions in Sean's mind.

Catherine's Fantasy Date was so much fun and there was chemistry there. Emotional and physical chemistry. No it was not the hot passionate chemistry we've seen before.It was a more respectful chemistry. I got the feeling like they could talk about everything. They could be silly and serious together. I loved that Sean put her on the spot by basically asking if she'd move to Dallas for him. He acknowledged that it would be easy to say yes in the moment (therefore acknowledging the Bachelor Bubble that so few choose to acknowledge) There was definitely something different with their date as opposed to the other two.

Now onto the elimination.It was obvious before Sean viewed the video messages who he was sending home. All the videos did was confirm his decision. Now I won't fault AshLee's reaction. It was one of the most real reactions we had seen since Ben was dumped by Ashley at the FRC. However it was what she said in the car that really struck me. I don't remember the whole thing but she seemed to imply that she took this more serious because she wasn't looking for fun. Unfortunately for her Sean was looking for someone he could have fun with as well as be serious with. He wants a woman that has that balance and who brings out that balance in him. AshLee took this seriously (which is a good thing) but in a relationship it can't be all serious all the time. A relationship and a marriage is about the balance of having fun and laughing with your partner and of course taking the time to be serious.

She also seemed to totally forget that there were two other women that Sean was dating so she slipped into overconfidence. We don't know what Sean may have said to her in the FS but I know that if I were ever to go on the show I would take everything he said with a grain of salt.

Jaybird wrote:

RealityEscape wrote:dw_a_mom mentioned church counseling. I'm fairly sure Catholic churches have that - used to be called Pre-Canaan - not sure. Classes like that are very helpful. Our Lutheran sessions were very condensed and not especially helpful because the minister had never conducted a wedding before - sort of wish we had a thorough course.

I don't think many couples break up because of anything they learn in the courses but it does give them a chance to talk about important topics.

Yep - it varies by parish but every Catholic couple needs some type of pre-Cana. From what I rember almost 20 years ago going through it, it Can vary from a day-long class (totally not sufficient) to a weekend retreat to a months long series of meetings with a married couple in the parish.

I would bet that irrespective of denomination, since they're both Christian they'll have access to and would take advantage of some type of program.

And I would agree that it might not prevent a breakup but certainly helps a couple have time to focus and appreciate the covenant into which they're entering. :Smiley:

I would recommend some form of marriage preparation classes for ALL engaged couples whether Christian or non-Christian but especially for those who belong to different religious orientation or cultural background. My take is that, if we spend years in school to be a good doctor, lawyer, nurse, teacher, etc., we also need time to learn ow to make our marriage work. Facilitators for Catholic-based marriage preparation workshops (evenings for Engaged Couples) are couples who cover topics such as communication, finances, religion, etc. Couples are given workbooks to answer individually and as a couple. This series goes for 6 weeks. Another Catholic program requires engaged couples to find a couple who will be their mentor for many weeks and will facilitate dialogues about the different aspects of marriage. I am not familiar with the latter but my brother-in-law and his wife are sponsor couples.

Jaybird wrote:

RealityEscape wrote:dw_a_mom mentioned church counseling. I'm fairly sure Catholic churches have that - used to be called Pre-Canaan - not sure. Classes like that are very helpful. Our Lutheran sessions were very condensed and not especially helpful because the minister had never conducted a wedding before - sort of wish we had a thorough course.

I don't think many couples break up because of anything they learn in the courses but it does give them a chance to talk about important topics.

Yep - it varies by parish but every Catholic couple needs some type of pre-Cana. From what I rember almost 20 years ago going through it, it Can vary from a day-long class (totally not sufficient) to a weekend retreat to a months long series of meetings with a married couple in the parish.

I would bet that irrespective of denomination, since they're both Christian they'll have access to and would take advantage of some type of program.

And I would agree that it might not prevent a breakup but certainly helps a couple have time to focus and appreciate the covenant into which they're entering. :Smiley:

I would recommend some form of marriage preparation classes for ALL engaged couples whether Christian or non-Christian but especially for those who belong to different religious orientation or cultural background. My take is that, if we spend years in school to be a good doctor, lawyer, nurse, teacher, etc., we also need time to learn ow to make our marriage work. Facilitators for Catholic-based marriage preparation workshops (evenings for Engaged Couples) are couples who cover topics such as communication, finances, religion, etc. Couples are given workbooks to answer individually and as a couple. This series goes for 6 weeks. Another Catholic program requires engaged couples to find a couple who will be their mentor for many weeks and will facilitate dialogues about the different aspects of marriage. I am not familiar with the latter but my brother-in-law and his wife are sponsor couples.

dw_a_mom wrote:

Mimi27 wrote:There is a marked difference between Sean and the other bachelors who have come before him. He is ready and willing to get married and settle down now! He's not looking for just a good time, a chance to date beautiful women, or an adventure. He wants a wife! Sean is a methodical goal setter. IMO he has decided to marry before he turns 30 in November.

Catherine and Sean are in love and have committed their lives to each other. By the time the season is over, they will have already been engaged for four months. Word is that they are planning a wedding by the end of the summer. That would not surprise me. The difference? Celibacy.

My concern with how the celibacy factors into all this is that it might push the marriage and prolong the bubble period. Hormones are a pretty strong driving factor. I just HOPE that if that happens, they really have all the other compatibility things falling into place; they are very different, and they really have not had a chance to test any of that out yet in a real life setting.

Some good premarital counseling like many churches require would probably be smart. Take all those surveys, have all those conversations.

so, i guess Cat will be planning the wedding and sean will be doing dwts and they'll get married end of summer. i don't think they'll have much time to really get to know one another before the wedding if this is how it happens. i wish they would wait to get married. i think the celibacy thing could push them into marriage when the relationship hasn't really been tested at all. i do hope they do premarital counseling. maybe some of you on twitter could ask sean or cat if they are going to do that to put a bug in their ears. i fear they have swallowed the bachelor blue pill here...