Kiptyn Locke & Tenley Molzahn - Discussion

^^right, I wasn't sure about that...my point was that she has made it clear that she wants a ring and he obviously doesn't (yet, anyways).

Why marry if you get the goods without a commitment?

i never look in this thread but when I saw that this thread was active, I thought I would read news that they had broken up when I opened it.

as the song goes, Tenley needs to know when to hold em and when to fold em. She needs to fold.

Kip is 34? They've been together for 2 years? She moved to San Diego for him? She's been publicly talking about wanting to be engaged? I sure hope she hasnt moved in with him - not without a ring and a wedding date as well.

Maybe it's my generation, but I don't understand the push for people to get married these days. A commitment to a person is decided in the mind and in the heart. The ring, the dress, the ceremony are all social constructs and mean zilch without a conscious commitment to choose a person everyday no matter what. The truth is that people change; they don't always grow together; and if someone wants to cheat or never marry or move on, they will regardless of a marriage. Why hurry up and marry? It smacks of insecurity that the guy or girl wouldn't choose you everyday without the ring.

Tenley and Kip, as long as both of them are truly happy, then good for them.

veg_out wrote:Maybe it's my generation, but I don't understand the push for people to get married these days. A commitment to a person is decided in the mind and in the heart. The ring, the dress, the ceremony are all social constructs and mean zilch without a conscious commitment to choose a person everyday no matter what. The truth is that people change; they don't always grow together; and if someone wants to cheat or never marry or move on, they will regardless of a marriage. Why hurry up and marry? It smacks of insecurity that the guy or girl wouldn't choose you everyday without the ring.

Tenley and Kip, as long as both of them are truly happy, then good for them.

I agree Veggie! Imagine that!

For me, one of the main reasons for them to get married at their ages would be to have children. Maybe they're not ready for that step yet. I think it's cute that they are still together and we see occasional updates from them.

I think that Tenley would get engaged and married in a heartbeat and is just playing the waiting game.

veg_out wrote:Maybe it's my generation, but I don't understand the push for people to get married these days. A commitment to a person is decided in the mind and in the heart. The ring, the dress, the ceremony are all social constructs and mean zilch without a conscious commitment to choose a person everyday no matter what. The truth is that people change; they don't always grow together; and if someone wants to cheat or never marry or move on, they will regardless of a marriage. Why hurry up and marry? It smacks of insecurity that the guy or girl wouldn't choose you everyday without the ring.

Tenley and Kip, as long as both of them are truly happy, then good for them.

I agree, veg. Even tho there's a part of me that really, really wants to see Tenley in a bridal gown :giggle: , almost everyone I know has been divorced, so marraige is NO guarantee for 'happily ever after' ..... whatever works for the 2 of them is fine w/me!!

If she wants a wedding & kids, Tenley has to decide for herself if she wants to wait for Kip (if he's the one delaying) or move on.....

provenceguy wrote:I think that Tenley would get engaged and married in a heartbeat and is just playing the waiting game.

Me, too! And I don't think she would want to have kids before marriage, so that's at issue here too. I just want them both to be happy, but I'm not sure if they have the same definition of happiness.

One thing that needs to be taken into consideration is that Tenley has been married before . This is not her first rodeo. Although she might be very anxious to take the next step she is probably reluctant to pressure Kiptyn into a marriage if he is not ready, for whatever reason. She doesn't want a second divorce.

Chacharo wrote:

veg_out wrote:Maybe it's my generation, but I don't understand the push for people to get married these days. A commitment to a person is decided in the mind and in the heart. The ring, the dress, the ceremony are all social constructs and mean zilch without a conscious commitment to choose a person everyday no matter what. The truth is that people change; they don't always grow together; and if someone wants to cheat or never marry or move on, they will regardless of a marriage. Why hurry up and marry? It smacks of insecurity that the guy or girl wouldn't choose you everyday without the ring.

Tenley and Kip, as long as both of them are truly happy, then good for them.

I agree Veggie! Imagine that!

For me, one of the main reasons for them to get married at their ages would be to have children. Maybe they're not ready for that step yet. I think it's cute that they are still together and we see occasional updates from them.

DeAnna/JenFan wrote:

I agree, veg. Even tho there's a part of me that really, really wants to see Tenley in a bridal gown :giggle: , almost everyone I know has been divorced, so marraige is NO guarantee for 'happily ever after' ..... whatever works for the 2 of them is fine w/me!!

If she wants a wedding & kids, Tenley has to decide for herself if she wants to wait for Kip (if he's the one delaying) or move on.....

Good points, Cha and DJ! If a marriage is 50% likely to end up in divorce, I guess I also take the stance that you don't really need to be married either for kids. My point is really that the best situation is always two self-actualized, mature, committed people enter into a loving relationship. They choose each other for life with or without a ring. Plenty of peeps have the ring and no commitment to each other's best interest whatsoever. I don't even want to touch the kids-and-dysfunctional-marriages thing.

Tenley has been very devoted to Kip. I hope that he makes her happy and that she's not sacrificing for him. If she wants to plan a dream wedding and do that whole shebang, then I hope she gets her heart's wish. If she's good and done with marriage, then live in love, man! Ya don't need a ring!