Bachelorette 16 - Clare Crawley & Tayshia Adams - Dec 1 - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

Since several of you are talking about Bennett here, I'll share something I learned about him. A friend has a summer home on Fishers Island, NY where Bennett's ex-fiance's family also has a summer home. My friend heard from others on the island that when Bennett first visited there while engaged, that he was so strikingly handsome and tall that some gave him the nickname of "Superman" (he does look like Christopher Reeve!). Rumors are that he was still engaged when he started the casting process.

He was certainly less attractive to me during this past episode. I love a smart guy but not one who bullies others or looks down his nose at others who just happen not to have been born with the same smarts.

Amethyst wrote:...
My opinion is that Bennett may be a diamond in the rough. Yes, he's a bit arrogant, and (even in his mid-30s,) he's got some growing up to do. He also needs a woman who is willing to call him out when he gets too full of himself. I think that *not* getting Tayshia may be the wake-up call that he needs. One thing that I like about him is what you see is what you get. ...

 snipped

There is good in just about everyone and all it takes is the right person to make someone whom we thought was a total villain shine. I truly hope that for Bennett and every other guy who goes on this show. It is really hard to have every nuance highlighted and discussed by strangers who only know you from a TV show. Certain contestants such as Ivan, Dr. Joe naturally shine due to their goodness. I know finding my husband and having him call me out on my faults has helped me immensely. I am better for being with him. In the Christmas spirit, let's wish that for all of us!

HEA wrote:Anyone made an analogy with Brendan and Peter? Fear of commitment, pressured, liked the lead but not in love, needing space and time? Although the difference with Brendan is that I always felt Peter hated to kiss or have physical contact with Rachel. snipped

Interesting analogy HEA. Many similarities but I though Peter was just a bit leery of the cameras, rather than not wanting to touch Rachel. I think it takes him a long time to get out of his head and, as we've seen time and again, that's where tptb like to mess with contestants.  Not going to comment on anything more in light of what I highlighted above! Peace.

HEA wrote:Anyone made an analogy with Brendan and Peter? Fear of commitment, pressured, liked the lead but not in love, needing space and time? Although the difference with Brendan is that I always felt Peter hated to kiss or have physical contact with Rachel. snipped

IA if there are any fears at all or doubts about anything, then you discuss those fears, if you truly like the person. You tell that person exactly how you feel and you address your concerns. If you need space or have fear of commitment, or whatever the reason for hesitation is, then IMO you're just not into them. You don't want to bother, you leave, you make excuses, it's best not to waste everyone's time. JMO's.

@Norcalgal it must be conflicting to join the show a bit jaded with an agenda to (generally) to boost a career and realize that the bubble increased the feelings for a lead that outside the bubble it may maybe never have worked.

Brain versus heart.

I wished they never have to be pressured about the engagement. Yet again, psychologically, it is part to force the love process, I guess.

Hundred of contestants, most watched the show, heard about the producers shenanigans. But most think their edits will be positive... why they don’t understand that the only way they will go out unscarred is to just... say nothing bad. Each time I find myself surprised to watch boys or men make a fool of themselves.

I guess being skittish and fearing the proposal is normal but the y signed for it, right? Or they nev er expected to like the lead... or the lead chasing them?

I have a feeling, Brendan doesn’t want marriage and commitment. I believe he may see commitment as a prison again. I wonder how much concessions he had to make with his ex wife... I agree @guardianangel Leaving means in my book a way out, not wanting to try anything with a person, leaving the bubble means no heck no. JMO

All above is assumptions. I have no ideas what Brendan thought as I don’t know him at all. This is only assuming possibilities why and if he ran away at F4 as suspected and discussed. Brendan is not the only one.... Frank, Brook, Graham...

I don’t judge. If Brendan didn’t fall in love but felt the pressure that tayshia was ahead of him, maybe leaving was his only option?

Anyway, I am only discussing here.

JMO

Loving that we are discussing so many aspects of this show, in addition to sleuthing. It's been great fun! The longer I watch, the more I just want to see authenticity - whatever truly makes the final contestants happiest. Engagement seems forced but going the way of Lily on the NZ Bachelorette show seems just like the most pragmatic!

@Norcalgal

This is kind of OT but regarding discussing so many aspects of the show, I have a book to recommend.  Our library is still not fully open so I was at Target and saw some books on sale.  This is a paperback called "One to Watch" by Kate Stayman-London and it's a gem.  It's about a plus-size blogger who is asked to be "The Main Squeeze" on a tv show hoping to show some leads who are not the typical pageant girls.  The author in her notes says The Bachelor franchise is her favorite and the book nails all the ins and outs of our guilty pleasure.  I read almost all the book last night .  It's great escapism but in a familiar place and it brings up some of the same topics we discuss here on the boards.  Enjoy!

Sharleen's Recap


http://www.alltheprettypandas.com/bachelorette16/episode8

@pavalygurl Thanks for the book recommendation! Can't wait to read it - maybe I'll find enough substance in it to rationalize by interest in this show! LOL

frajosfanofchris wrote:Sharleen's Recap


http://www.alltheprettypandas.com/bachelorette16/episode8

This.
"In my humble opinion, based on what we’ve seen, Zac seems self-aware, reasonably well-spoken, patient, astute. His recovery speaks to strength and determination, while his willingness to share his past speaks to confidence and self-worth. He hasn’t TOLD us these positive traits, but simply SHOWN them over the last 2 months’ worth of episodes. There are plenty of folks out there who may not have histories with addiction but who are selfish, narcissistic, apathetic, insecure, insincere… (I could go on). My point is, don’t knock someone for their past—it’s called a “past” for a reason. The worst thing we can do is judge people for what makes them their most vulnerable. Judge less."

@Norcalgal whew! My favourite “read” yet! Yes Sharleen      . So tired of judgemental keyboard warriors

I have some problem with what Sharleen said about Zac's addiction. She called him an "ex-heroin addict". If you know anything about addiction, you know that they're really a recovering addict. It looks to me like Zac has made huge strides in his life and is doing well now but it doesn't mean that Tayshia shouldn't have questions. Here's an article for those thinking of dating a recovering addict that I found interesting.
5 questions to ask before you start dating a recovering addict.

I think I agreed with pretty much everything else Sharleen said, as usual. I was really disappointed in Bennett in the last couple of episodes. Before he was kind of fun and thought he'd be perfect for BIP but the way he treated Noah wasn't a good look. It seems to me that Tayshia should send both home at the 2 on 1 even though it appears she didn't.