Hannah Brown - Bachelorette 15 - Discussion #2

Hi, new here so please forgive the long post, but I have so many thoughts! Usually I wouldn't comment on how other people define their relationships. Who am I to question what "single" and "friend" mean to other folks, ya know? If this is what friendship means to them, then it is what it is. And whatever that is, it’s beautiful.

However... I think both of them like each other beyond a simple, platonic interaction. It isn't so much what they say, but what they don't say. Neither one of them have ever denied feelings for each other. They state, over and over again, the status of their own love lives and that they do, indeed, share space and make room for each other as friends. Not so much a lie, as an omission and safe-guarding of
a possible ambiguous truth. Because, let's be honest, if Hannah and Alan's previous romantic undertakings respectively hadn't been exploited for media consumption and ratings, and they were just Joe and Carol from down the block, we'd all question the chumminess of their camaraderie. (Also, because neither of them seem to want that type of exposure ever again, I honestly wouldn't expect either to vocalize a change in their relationship status if things do change.)

What I think has happened is that they're both at an impasse. Both seem to have committed to the idea of 'professionalism'. And, for all intents and purposes, they were able to overcome any feelings that might have stemmed from convenience - which both have fallen prey to before - during the season. But...now the season is over. Yet, they're still sitting in dark hotel lobbies/cafes/coffee shops at midnight "dancing" in NY. They are standing amongst married couples and handholding, engaging in long hugs, and excessively touching one another to no benefit of their single statuses. Unfortunately, timing, which was once the bulk of their convenience, is now the bane of its existence. Alan is on tour and Hannah is trying to figure out her life. Things that were once easily accessible and beyond convenient (i.e. spending time together everyday) are now really hard and will be for as long as he continues as a pro and she continues in search of her goals. Perhaps they don't want to jeopardize what they have, but for two people who both covet love, they don't seem to actively be in search of it outside of one another.

...And that is beyond the showmance stuff. If I'm honest, during the initial 5 or 6 LIVE shows, I didn't notice any palpable dance chemistry between the two of them. Their "Salsa Dance-Off" was the beginning of something different, imo. For the first time, she actually seemed to be dancing WITH Alan and not despite him (which is why her statement in the finale about finally being able to dance, again, WITH Alan stood out to me).

So in conclusion , I think calling each other friends and stating over and over again that they are single is just the easiest way for them to define everything without complicating a situation that, for now, works. It does seem like people close to them are rooting for more definition though.

@BachFan27

Sprite wrote:@BachFan27

Thank you!

I think you make a lot of good points, BachFan....

I'd also like to add I think there's a bit of a head vs heart thing going on as well... Clearly these two come from very different backgrounds, religiously and, I suspect, possibly even politically.... So I think Hannah quickly decided in her head that alan would not work for her long term. She even has teased him about not being as good looking as some of the other pros, which had to sting....grow up, girl!!
And it appears it took her a while to view his teaching demeanor as passion rather than something meaner. 

The question becomes, now, whether, having seen the true nature of his heart (especially in contrast to the duplicitous hearts she has encountered via TB) she can ever feel equally at home elsewhere.... There's the rub, I think. Jmo

But if they were ever to connect on that level, I would hope Hannah would always make alan feel chosen every day, just as she would want to feel. Jmo

Billysmom wrote:I think you make a lot of good points, BachFan....

I'd also like to add I think there's a bit of a head vs heart thing going on as well... Clearly these two come from very different backgrounds, religiously and, I suspect, possibly even politically.... So I think Hannah quickly decided in her head that alan would not work for her long term. She even has teased him about not being as good looking as some of the other pros, which had to sting....grow up, girl!!
And it appears it took her a while to view his teaching demeanor as passion rather than something meaner. 

The question becomes, now, whether, having seen the true nature of his heart (especially in contrast to the duplicitous hearts she has encountered via TB) she can ever feel equally at home elsewhere.... There's the rub, I think. Jmo

But if they were ever to connect on that level, I would hope Hannah would always make alan feel chosen every day, just as she would want to feel. Jmo

I've wondered about their differing backgrounds as well. I can't tell if Hannah just hasn't been exposed to different types of men due to geographic limitations or if her type truly is the average Southern guy. From what I've seen, they're both very strong in their faith; I'm just not sure how attached they are to traditionalism.
I do remember her suggesting that they pray together during one of those after-show interviews. It's actually one of the many reasons I started paying closer attention to their interactions.

My desire is the same as yours, too. I'd hope she'd always make him feel chosen. Likewise, I'd hope Alan would work just as hard to maintain a relationship. Doesn't seem like he has much experience with long term relationships or love in general.

@BachFan27 welcome!! 

Both of Alan’s siblings are married to Christians and both seem to incorporate the two religions into their lives. I probably won’t dig too much deeper into the religion aspect as it can be a touchy subject and don’t want to break any rules. This is not me saying either that Hannah and Alan will get married  just saying that his siblings are with someone who is not Jewish and they obviously make it work. I don’t think religion is a make or break for Alan. 

Did you happen to catch his latest like on Twitter? He liked it the day after Radio City and some likes pertaining to Hannah happened before it. If you scroll through his likes, 98% of them are in relation to fans so him liking that hours after being with Hannah for a couple of days was certainly interesting. You know things are starting to get interesting when Reddit is starting to catch on and be all for it

What did he like? Tia

@Billysmom he liked a couple of tweets pertaining to him and Hannah and then followed it up with this like:

https://twitter.com/juliaakazaryan/status/1221676889611231232?s=21

Considering he never likes things like that, it’s interesting. It’s especially interesting I think given the timing of it as well. Someone on Reddit caught it really quickly.

Hannah has said repeatedly she is single and how she needs to get out there and start dating. I do not think she sees Alan as a real romantic interest. She is on the rebound IMO. She has gone through a lot because of three prior relationships, 4 if you include Colton, oh and let's not forget about Luke. She has been very publicly humiliated by men. I do not see her giving her heart to anyone any time soon and I do not think she is looking for love or a serious relationships no matter what she says. JMO Alan is single and available and there when she's around/calls. I do not think she would ever choose Alan for a boyfriend. He makes her feel good in the moment JMO

Just

Ash2214 wrote:@Billysmom he liked a couple of tweets pertaining to him and Hannah and then followed it up with this like:

https://twitter.com/juliaakazaryan/status/1221676889611231232?s=21

Considering he never likes things like that, it’s interesting. It’s especially interesting I think given the timing of it as well. Someone on Reddit caught it really quickly.

Hmmm, that really is interesting, ty.   I guess in their case the two months were way more than Bach bubble or first impressions....they saw each other good, bad, everything in between.

Hannah prolly does need to date casually a bit....everything since last year has been sooo serious. I guess that is part of the head vs. heart thing.  If indeed she is seeing a counselor, I would imagine the counselor is telling her to relax and lighten up etc etc. re relationships. Could be part of what holds her back from being all in with alan?? Jmo?  And likely he wants what is best for her and respects her (his responses in the two recent interviews were so lovely IMO).  If what they share could possibly become something more someday, giving it time seems a wise decision....but boy, I have no idea how they're managing it!  Cause clearly they do seem to rest in each other's company, or so it seems to me....that is a rare and lovely thing.

You know, I'm all for this idea of fall in love with yourself first and find your path etc etc etc.... But one can't always control love.... Sometimes the universe throws it at us as part of our healing, not as a reward for being perfectly together. People can grow even in relationships, if they are well-chosen, and if the communication and respect are there. Jmo.    I just hope Hannah gets her picker fixed sooner rather than later and doesn't one day have reason to regret not taking alan more seriously. (If indeed that is what is going on here... I actually have a vague recollection in the back of my head that someone somewhere had posted it was actually alan who was the impediment, but now can't recall how good a source that ever was? And even if that source had been correct, I could totally see alan wanting not to take advantage of Hannah when she appeared vulnerable, jmo.)

Ash2214 wrote:@Billysmom he liked a couple of tweets pertaining to him and Hannah and then followed it up with this like:

https://twitter.com/juliaakazaryan/status/1221676889611231232?s=21

Considering he never likes things like that, it’s interesting. It’s especially interesting I think given the timing of it as well. Someone on Reddit caught it really quickly.

That is interesting! I wonder how much of Hannah's contract makes her keep her dating life or even male friendships private? If The Bachelor wanted Hannah to come back on Peter's season and make it seem if there was still something there between them, she could hardly be on SM posting about other men, even if they are just friends. Makes me wonder too if she was told to tone it down with all the touchy/feely with Alan on DWTS that everyone was noticing?

I do believe Hannah and Alan when they say they're single, or not dating, but I still think something happened between them that went beyond friendship (in whatever capacity). The way they would look at each other and touch each other seems too intimate to have never crossed the "friendship" line. Have you ever seen Alan with his hand around Hannah's waist, or what should be her waist? What was the interview where Cheryl B said a lot of people get involved with their partner, especially if they're single, it's hard not to when you're grinding on each other 6 hours a day. After watching Hannah's season of The Bachelorette, she's a pretty physical girl, so I'm not buying nothing ever happened between them. Who knows what they really are to each other, but it was really nice reading comments about how happy both looked dancing with each other again.

@alwayscooking I don’t think her contract holds her back too much. I think in terms of interviews, she has to play it up a little bit. She co-hosted ET recently and she was giving the company line of “you’ll have to watch to see” and Lauren Zima basically laughed and was like “I know you unfortunately can’t tell us.” Otherwise I think she’s free to live her life, but given everything that’s happened over the last year she has become increasingly more private. 

That’s my thing as well. I don’t think anyone thinks they’re secretly dating or that they’ll even enter into a committed relationship. It just appears something happened previously or might happen post tour IMO. There were two married couples with them all day on Tuesday and people pointed out that Hannah and Alan were way more affectionate and close than they were  let’s also not forget that the other day Alan said they really tried to remain professional during the season, but when asked if anything could happen once the dust settles he said “maybe, we’ll see.”