Matt Agnew - Bachelor Australia - Season 7 - Discussion

Sprite wrote:I liked the edited version of Chelsea on the show, but now I am starting to see why Matt may have broken things off. She is totally milking the break up and I am finding her rather passive aggressive. Personally, if some guy broke up with me after such a public relationship, I would not say anything after the initial press release and just get on with living my life. It's not as if they were together all that long. This constant harping about it in SM, to me reeks of desperation, immaturity and attention seeking.

But everyone deals differently with break up. Let her do her own thing, she’s hurt, shes bitter and shes allowed to fee betrayed and if the only way she can get through that is to talk about it, then we shouldnt condemn her for sharing her feelings and it’s not as if it’s not News that people wanted to know the real reason why they broke up.

My one criticism of Chelsie is that I think she is very passive in relationships. She should sort that mentality out before seeking a new one. She said in these stories she could never be/has never been the dumper. My thinking is that she should learn to love dumping and being the one to peace out if it sucks. There's power in that.

Curiositykills wrote:

Sprite wrote:I liked the edited version of Chelsea on the show, but now I am starting to see why Matt may have broken things off. She is totally milking the break up and I am finding her rather passive aggressive. Personally, if some guy broke up with me after such a public relationship, I would not say anything after the initial press release and just get on with living my life. It's not as if they were together all that long. This constant harping about it in SM, to me reeks of desperation, immaturity and attention seeking.

But everyone deals differently with break up. Let her do her own thing, she’s hurt, shes bitter and shes allowed to fee betrayed and if the only way she can get through that is to talk about it, then we shouldnt condemn her for sharing her feelings and it’s not as if it’s not News that people wanted to know the real reason why they broke up.

I get that everyone deals with breakups in their own manner and she is certainly allowed to do whatever she wants. What I mind is that she seems to be getting her friends to rag on Matt and hinting of what went down but not really saying what that was, thus making it seem worse that what it apparently was. If there was an issue, spit it out. Don't play games or get your friends to play them on your behalf. Put out a clear statement. Don't drag it out publicly...a bit here, a bone there, teasing along. By all means talk about it to your friends. Cry, scream, bitch. It doesn't need to be done in such a passive aggressive manner and publicly. That is the part that to me screams immaturity, attention seeking and playing the victim.

I dont believe there was a real issue, just Matt not feeling it. Sad, but that happens so many times in real life - a connection in the beginning and then it wanes. Probably no real reason, just a feeling

I think Chelsie's Q & A was more her dealing with the comments she has been getting on social media as opposed to her dealing with the break up per say. The attention these people get following the show would be overwhelming and some of the things people post is just horrid. It would be extremely hard to deal with and something you can't really prepare yourself for. The Q & A was her way of trying to stop people asking her why the broke up every time she posts a photo and some of the online bullying IMO

I am around the same age as Matt and my friends who are still single are still single for a reason. A lot of them say they want to be in a relationship but don't really put the effort in to make it work. When they do break up with someone (who we all liked) they provide very vague excuses. I think this is what happened with Matt and Chelsie. He just doesn't want it enough/isn't ready to do the work IMO

Sprite wrote:snipped
I get that everyone deals with breakups in their own manner and she is certainly allowed to do whatever she wants. What I mind is that she seems to be getting her friends to rag on Matt and hinting of what went down but not really saying what that was, thus making it seem worse that what it apparently was. If there was an issue, spit it out. Don't play games or get your friends to play them on your behalf. Put out a clear statement. Don't drag it out publicly...a bit here, a bone there, teasing along. By all means talk about it to your friends. Cry, scream, bitch. It doesn't need to be done in such a passive aggressive manner and publicly. That is the part that to me screams immaturity, attention seeking and playing the victim.

ITA - make a statement and end it. IMHO none of these contestants need to respond to SM comments. She can say whatever she wants in a statement and move on. I'm sure she can turn to family and friends for support. This is very immature behaviour IMHO. Dealing with a break up is a private situation. Reaching out on SM to me is just wanting the attention and to me she seems to be putting the blame on him indirectly while at the same time saying nothing bad happened. It's just inviting more SM comments.

BTW- no one is condemning anyone. We are all free to express our opinion on any reality TV contestant and shouldn't be told what we should say or shouldn't say.

Just Looking wrote:I dont believe there was a real issue, just Matt not feeling it.  Sad, but that happens so many times in real life - a connection in the beginning and then it wanes.  Probably no real reason, just a feeling

the more I see of Chelsie (and the more we don't see anything from or about Matt) post-season, the more I do now believe it's a "he's just not that into you" situation. Which is sad for both of them imo. Because in that situation, it makes the person dumped feel like they're worthless or there's something wrong with them (unless they have no self-esteem issues at all, and that's not Chels) and it also leaves the dumper vulnerable to being harassed and blamed for something they did that wasn't wrong. Nobody should be forced to stay in a relationship they're not feeling. It's sad that Chelsie was dumped but it also would have been sad if Matt had felt obliged to stay in a relationship that wasn't going to go anywhere for him.

I used to think he should have picked Abbie - just for the sex, frankly - but the more I see of Abbie post-season the more I see why he wouldn't have ever done that either.  Abbie is too OTT imo. I think he'd be down for that kind of thing but with someone more discreet. imo

@leavers I think you’re totally right in everything you said

Source

Gave that a listen, definitely sounds like a 'he's just not that into you Chelsie' situation.

imo only the dumper says "cherish the good times", the dumped generally doesn't see it that way

I gave it a listen and I can tell even in the brief comments he made that what I had originally deducted from their charts was at the heart ( no pun intended ) of their breakup. There was a strong attraction based on many factors but if your communication style and expectations about how you can trust one another isn’t matching, it can be better to cut it sooner than later. It’s a case where feelings and thoughts are expressed in such a different way that it leads to arguments that are escalating quickly without much possible resolution. IMO  Chelsie has a tendency, because of self esteem issues, to use passive agressive ways of communicating and avoiding speaking her mind while expecting to be understood and cared for in the way she needs. And Matt is very keen on understanding and having clarity in communication and the more vagueness and indirect alluding the communication becomes - because of fear to tell the truth- the more it triggers him to question his trust and activates his own impatient temperament and the lack of understanding frustrates him deeply.
You can have a LOT of great attraction and even common values together, but without a similar or compatible way of communicating and sharing your values as much as everyday stuff, it won’t work in the long run.
I think a lot was said or implied about him being the ‘ cause’ of the split, but I believe it’s more complex and equally shared in their own ways. And he was smart enough to not stick around in a situation that was not healthy for either of them.
I wish him and her to do well and find their person one day!
JMOAA

The Bachelor 2019’s Matt Agnew discusses Chelsie McLeod split

Agnew released a statement in November saying their relationship hadn’t translated into the real world, before going silent. Now he’s finally discussed the relationship breakdown on comedian Rosie Waterland’s podcast, Just The Gist, saying it left him devastated.