Vanessa Grimaldi & Josh Wolf - Bachelor 21 - Discussion

ishkabaha wrote:She had two IG stories yesterday.  The first was the info for the American Red Cross Day of Giving.  The second was a quote:  Heal thyself, first.  The rest will come later.  -unknown.  

by Billysmom on Thu Aug 31, 2017 11:29 pm

I think she took nick at his word that everything was on the table, not that just her life was on the table. I'm not sure how ready he was to compromise. Personally and jmo I think he missed an opportunity to really grow into the kind of man for which he clearly has the potential.
I also think,  though of course I do not know, that it's possible he and/or they gave up too soon. I keep coming back to, joining two lives together at these ages is not easy....nick lived on his own for a while, not sure if Vanessa did, but we know she gets a tremendous amount of support in her hometown. Yes, some couples with more easygoing personalities might have a relatively easier time of it. But as half of a couple myself that includes two strong willed persons who met in their mid thirties, I can testify that not all couples have an easy go of it in the beginning. But that IMHO doesn't necessarily mean the baby should be thrown out with the bath water....... All jmo

Eta I just remembered the name of the couples counselor who appeared on Oprah several times and who IMHO really made a lot of sense....harville hendrix. Wish I could refer Nissa to his work. He claims that we unconsciously choose the very person to love who will bring up our core issues/insecurities/growth opportunities, and that that results in struggle, but that that is the purpose of relationships. Relationships are vehicles of growth, love laboratories, which serve as catalysts to bring out the best in us. Of course we don't include abusive relationships in this. If you think about it, his reasoning is not unlike the reason some people consciously choose a school or workplace or neighborhood specifically to be able to encounter diversity and people unlike themselves. At times this creates conflict, but it can also become a breeding ground for a far richer experience in life, and an individual with a much more welcoming heart. Loving someone just like oneself is easy.... Loving someone different, not so much. Ironically, Nissa had both very strong similarities and very strong differences.... I'm sure they've already learned so much from one another. It will be interesting to see to whom they gravitate in the future. I get why people think nick might need a sharleen type....but he wouldn't be the first person who could be friends with someone he doesn't have to live with or make accommodations for....just my .02

Mochaginj wrote:@Skates I love your take on Nick and Vanessas situation.  It is similar to mine. I'd like to know your thoughts on why Vanessa and a couple of her friends have unfollowed him.. I have mixed feelings on that.

Mochaginj wrote:@Skates I love your take on Nick and Vanessas situation.  It is similar to mine. I'd like to know your thoughts on why Vanessa and a couple of her friends have unfollowed him.. I have mixed feelings on that.

notarose wrote:

Mochaginj wrote:@Skates I love your take on Nick and Vanessas situation.  It is similar to mine. I'd like to know your thoughts on why Vanessa and a couple of her friends have unfollowed him.. I have mixed feelings on that.

IDK which friends as I've never followed her friends or family but just did a quick ck of public accounts and the same family members who followed Nick still do, her best friend Jen still does as do several other friends she was recently pictured with.

My point of view is that some of the baggage is now gone. Number 1 is negative media that painted Vanessa as unliked in the house, continued with that theme on DWTS, etc and that fed trolls who were nasty things on her SM. After that, both Vanessa and Nick had things that irritated them about the show which are now mote. Nick said V had difficulty with the premise of him dating others while falling in love with her.  Nick himself was not impressed with the ring (probably related to it having been "chosen" before) nor the proposal day stating they had talked about a new proposal. And as was brought forth by media, the actual proposal was altered showing V and N out of order. All that is now done.

I see them at square 1.  However they choose to define their relationship over time is what it will be. As for now, they are saying they care for each other which in a world where so many care so little I think it's great that they are trying to rise above.