Kaitlyn Bristowe - Bachelorette 11 - Discussion

@Linds911 Right? It makes me so sad because she's so good with kids. I've wanted to see her as a mommy so badly, but I fear she's gonna be alone forever if someone like Jason couldn't handle her.

@Jolena This will get you started. It's a super painful listen. Things between them hit the rocks between Jan-March 2022. This podcast was done three months later, and it's clear that they weren't going to therapy to solve these issues. They let this mess fester far too long IMO, and by that time the damage was too bad to repair. Jason was angry about K traveling so he decided he'd travel, too. Tit for tat. He admitted it was petty, but oh well. IMO, Jason was angry and admits he hates conflict and runs away from it, so he withdrew into his shell and let things fester. And K was hurt that he withdrew and didn't want to plan a wedding anymore, which caused her to withdraw. It's the exact opposite of what she needed to do, but she's been so badly damaged by men in the past. Esp her last three guys.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4mTGNFUVExI&pp=ygUWY291cGxlIHRoaW5ncyBrYWl0bHluIA%3D%3D

She did another podcast and the guest said something about how people in relationships often get back into shape when they think they're gonna go back on the market. K gasped said something like "Jason has been working out like crazy. Is he gonna leave me?" The pain and fear in her voice was so real. It was heartbreaking.

But yeah...they're done. She took her ring off and they're on separate vacations. I wish they broke up a year ago....esp considering K's age and wanting babies. (A quick note on egg freezing: It is a hard, painful, expensive process. But she did it because she knew she wanted a family. Women don't put themselves thru that just for fun. She was serious.)

So is it confirmed that they broke up officially or is this just speculation?

@chasus71 Just speculation as they have been traveling separately and hardly posting about the other on social media. Yes I know not everything has to be posted online but given she is usually giving her fans updates and the same thing happened w/ she and Shawn and then months later the announcement and now it's happening again a 2nd time...

@crunchette I know me too.. seeing her pictures with all the babies makes my heart hurt for her especially given how she froze her eggs and everything.

crunchette wrote:@Linds911  Right?  It makes me so sad because she's so good with kids.  I've wanted to see her as a mommy so badly, but I fear she's gonna be alone forever if someone like Jason couldn't handle her.

@Jolena  This will get you started.  It's a super painful listen.  Things between them hit the rocks between Jan-March 2022.  This podcast was done three months later, and it's clear that they weren't going to therapy to solve these issues.  They let this mess fester far too long IMO, and by that time the damage was too bad to repair.  Jason was angry about K traveling so he decided he'd travel, too.  Tit for tat.  He admitted it was petty, but oh well.  IMO, Jason was angry and admits he hates conflict and runs away from it, so he withdrew into his shell and let things fester.  And K was hurt that he withdrew and didn't want to plan a wedding anymore, which caused her to withdraw.  It's the exact opposite of what she needed to do, but she's been so badly damaged by men in the past.  Esp her last three guys.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4mTGNFUVExI&pp=ygUWY291cGxlIHRoaW5ncyBrYWl0bHluIA%3D%3D

She did another podcast and the guest said something about how people in relationships often get back into shape when they think they're gonna go back on the market.  K gasped said something like "Jason has been working out like crazy.  Is he gonna leave me?"  The pain and fear in her voice was so real.  It was heartbreaking.

But yeah...they're done.  She took her ring off and they're on separate vacations.  I wish they broke up a year ago....esp considering K's age and wanting babies.  (A quick note on egg freezing:  It is a hard, painful, expensive process.  But she did it because she knew she wanted a family.  Women don't put themselves thru that just for fun.  She was serious.)

Thanks Crunchette I just listened to the interview. When the other couple mentioned her work, travel and opportunities and said to her "you have to ask yourself when is enough enough" and K said " I don't know" that imo said alot and could be why J started to become distant. I also think when they did this interview she already knew the relationship was in trouble and thats why she was saying the future positive things that she probably knew he wanted, but honestly I think she's a bit late. I think the damage at that point was already done. All relationships are different but it seems K manages to get through the honeymoon phase but after a few years it goes bust. This is the second relationship of hers (that we know of publicly) where the guys for some reason leave her and want out. There's a lot we don't know JMHO I feel bad for her but I think she's her own worst enemy. Do you know if he's still following her on social media or commenting on any of her posts?

@Jolena  I absolutely agree w everything you said, but I think they both have trouble saying no to opportunities.  K struggled w not having money for a lot of years after high school and doesn't have a lot of education or talents, so she struggles w fears of everything going away and being broke again.  She's mentioned this repeatedly.  And J takes on way too many projects.  He owns 3 businesses, a podcast, book deals, sponsorship deals, etc.  Neither of them know when to stop.

I think things between them were really bad in early 2022, and both of them were running away from each other by drowning themselves in work rather running towards each other to fix things.  They both said they were the happiest they've ever been during the pandemic when things were slow, there was nowhere to go, etc.  But then they did the exact opposite once everything opened up.  I don't know if it was a case of Keeping up w the Jones or what.  Like everyone else was out doing things, so they need to be as well.  Jason said he already ruined one 5 year relationship by putting work first, and then he did it again w K.  It makes me want to shake both of them.

I have to comment about the "when is it enough" story.  I listened to J's podcast when his guest said that, and I was blow away.  So was Jason.  It was many, many months before this joint podcast w Shawn and Andrew, so I was stunned that this was the first time Kaitlyn was hearing about it.  It made me think that they never talk.  Actually, a lot of things make me think they never talk, which is really sad for two people who love to talk.

eta: I don't know about sm. I had to unfollow and block both of them because it's all too painful for me. I heard he liked the post where she was holding her godson, which as after she took off the ring.

@Jolena  I forgot to mention that I suspect K came home from the tour and didn't recognize the man she was engaged to.  His behavior towards her during the live podcast for his book was really shocking.  I had to wonder if he was that cold towards her in front of a crowd of people, how bad must it be at home in private?  I don't think she has the emotional maturity to deal w something w something like that.  (As you said, her own worst enemy.)  But it was clear that he wasn't thinking about marriage or family anymore.  I imagine she was scared, hurt, heartbroken, and confused, especially since J shuts down when he feels too much and probably wasn't communicating w her anymore. Maybe she thought she might as well focus on her career if the relationship wasn't going anywhere.  And again, this is the exact opposite of what she needed to do.  But they were both in bad places mentally and haven't been able to get out of the rut, even w therapy.  I feel terrible for both of them.

@Jolena Sorry I'm bombarding you, but I have to address your message about Kaitlyn saying things Jason wanted to hear. K always said she wanted a small, intimate wedding. J is the one who wanted a gala, so she agreed to that. They knew a lot of what they wanted: theme, attire, food, K's wedding dress, etc. They even hired the same wedding planner that Ashley and Jared used. They booked a venue but got a call two weeks later saying it fell through. This was after the pandemic when venues were really hard to find, so everything J wanted wasn't available. K found other places that were open, but J rejected all of them because they weren't right for the theme. He wasn't willing to compromise at all. And K knew that J didn't want to have a baby out of wedlock, so I imagine she was frustrated and disappointed that he wasn't willing to bend so they could get married and try for a baby. (They already had a name chosen for a baby girl.)

A few weeks into the tour, Jason was supposed to go to some wedding venues and FT w Kaitlyn so they could choose one, but at the last minute, J decided to fly to see friends instead. So he kept putting up barrier after barrier. Maybe he was pissed that she went on tour, but we'll never know if he ever asked her not to go. Maybe he needed to tell her that things between them would be over if she left again, but he probably didn't do that because he wanted to support her dreams. But still, it was a 10 week, temporary gig. I'd hope they could get thru 10 weeks without him going from talk of marriage to talk about divorce. It seems like such a drastic change considering all of the wedding planning they did, but I guess things happen for a reason.

I feel like it's not one person's fault and we don't know what goes on in their life together. Kaitlyn seems more likely to say things about their relationship than Jason does, imo. It would be nice if they could work it out but seems like both are running away by throwing themselves into travel and work right now. You'd think they'd sit down and make a decision about what they want and if they can do it together. I hope that things work out for them, either together or apart.

crunchette wrote: ... snipped .... He wasn't willing to compromise at all. And K knew that J didn't want to have a baby out of wedlock, so I imagine she was frustrated and disappointed that he wasn't willing to bend so they could get married and try for a baby.  (They already had a name chosen for a baby girl.)... snipped ...

He wasn't willing to compromise at all  This is speculation on your part and your opinion, right? Please make sure you state it as such.

I don't know either K or J but agree that it takes two to make or break a relationship. IMO, after watching K for many years on various show and SM platforms i do think she is more likely to say what she thinks fans want to hear and what will create engagements on SM which includes statements about weddings and babies. She did it when she was with Shawn too so to see the pattern repeat with Jason with no actual action behind the statements made them feel false to me. She had a lot of opportunities present themselves like DWTS so it is understandable that she wanted to take advantage of them but it doesn't seem that they were able to prioritize their relationship during the distance to keep it going. Seems to me that Jason felt left behind and continually deprioritized as K continue to pursue the next opportunity. Doesn't seem that they have the communication skills or ability to compromise to save their relationship which accounts for J's petty behavior. IMO I do think K's insecurities drive her decisions and she needs to do some work to figure out what she wants out of life. A person can pursue a successful career AND have marriage and babies if that is what they truly want. ALL IMO

Norcalgal wrote:

crunchette wrote: ... snipped .... He wasn't willing to compromise at all. And K knew that J didn't want to have a baby out of wedlock, so I imagine she was frustrated and disappointed that he wasn't willing to bend so they could get married and try for a baby.  (They already had a name chosen for a baby girl.)... snipped ...

He wasn't willing to compromise at all  This is speculation on your part and your opinion, right? Please make sure you state it as such.

Yes, my opinion based on everything K and J have said in various podcasts and interviews. But thank you for the reminder of why I stopped posting here ages ago. I sincerely do appreciate it. Back into hiding I go.

@crunchette I hope you'll stay and post and offer your viewpoint. Just remember to add IMO to your posts and all will be good. Thank you.