Bachelorette Australia - Season 4 - Ali Oetjen - Episodes #2 - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

AllAboutLove wrote:The issue is that Ali is someone who has said she doesn't want that anymore as that's what she always goes for.

Yeah this is what gets me too.  So many times during the series I thought, surely she's sitting at home watching this back seeing the same thing that we're seeing - that she's repeating old mistakes, ignoring red flags, and contradicting what she says she wants.  But then I realise, she probably STILL doesn't get it.  Because Ali.

Bobette wrote:

AllAboutLove wrote:The issue is that Ali is someone who has said she doesn't want that anymore as that's what she always goes for.

Yeah this is what gets me too.  So many times during the series I thought, surely she's sitting at home watching this back seeing the same thing that we're seeing - that she's repeating old mistakes and ignoring red flags.  But then I realise, she probably STILL doesn't get it.  Because Ali.

Yep. When watching her family and what her cousin said in regards to Taite and how that is always been Ali's type with past relationships I could see Ali visibly trying to block out that red flag. So she will basically change and become what the guy wants and that's what she always has done hoping that by doing so hope he will change. I've seen so many women who do this and it's just sad.

What's more sad for me is watching a woman chase a man and that man prefer being chased like what I watched this season with Ali and Taite. That's not a love story to me and it's not romantic to me either from a tv viewing experience not to talk about real life.

Bobette wrote:

Idlemess wrote:If I've been a random lurker and luckily stumbled unto this thread, I honestly would swear that Todd was the second coming of Christ, the Golden Child, geez a freaking Prince Charming.

Welp, I won't be convince until he proves his shirtless worth as the Bachelor.

You say that as though... he's not?    Also:

via GIPHY

I may be old, but I'm not too old to enjoy something nice when it looks like that gif of Todd. I was sitting here wondering if he needed me to rub some more oil on him, to be on the safe side, ya know.. Now that's what a man is suppose to look like. Take notice Taite because you'll never look that luscious... OK tongue is back in my mouth and heart is calming back to normal... Carry on.

When Ali was telling her family which two guys they would be meeting, her cousin expressed surprise about Todd and said that wasn't what she expected. Whereas with Taite she said "good". IMO her family gave clear signals that they thought Taite was the better choice for her, but that's just what I saw and felt. Also Ali herself admitted that because she is so emotional herself, she needs someone who is more rational like Taite. I definitely saw and felt a love story there. Have gone back and read Taite's Instagram posts on each of the photos from the show and he made very sweet and funny comments.
Todd was lovely and genuine also, but he was too inexperienced for Ali, IMO. His expressions of love and commitment were over the top for such a short time and I think that showed his immaturity. She would have found it too much after a while, IMO. He will find his HEA.

Laaaadies,
I don't even know in which of the Ali threads I am supposed to post this as it isn't about a topic in particular, but rather about the whole season in general ...
First off, I've been MIA from here for quite a while, but that doesn't mean I was out of the bachelor/ette bubble completely. As usual, the Bachelorette Australia format casted its spell over me (again) and I was sooooo invested in this season    (just as I was with Sam's and Georgia's ) and once again it was due to one man of the season.    :halo:   In this case, it has been Todd and I am so glad to see and read that u all love him as well. He just captured my heart from the start just as Richie and Matty did.
I didn't want this season to end, mainly because I knew I would miss seeing him on my screen every week. HE IS SO DIVINE -INSIDE AND OUT and has a heart of gold.  the way he said goodbye to Ali when she let him go was the best reaction from a reject I've seen so far - so gracious, articulate and kind. I too hope that he is the next bachelor as I need more of him!!!

Valancy wrote:When Ali was telling her family which two guys they would be meeting, her cousin expressed surprise about Todd and said that wasn't what she expected. Whereas with Taite she said "good". IMO her family gave clear signals that they thought Taite was the better choice for her, but that's just what I saw and felt. Also Ali herself admitted that because she is so emotional herself, she needs someone who is more rational like Taite. I definitely saw and felt a love story there. Have gone back and read Taite's Instagram posts on each of the photos from the show and he made very sweet and funny comments.
Todd was lovely and genuine also, but he was too inexperienced for Ali, IMO. His expressions of love and commitment were over the top for such a short time and I think that showed his immaturity. She would have found it too much after a while, IMO. He will find his HEA.

Actually the cousin after meeting them both at MTP expressed doubt and red-flags about Taite  She told Ali that "you definitely have that emotional connection with Todd that's what you've always lacked in all your past relationships and always wanted in a relationship. I can just see that. The connection is so real and so genuine. Then with Taite is he ever going to have that emotional connection you always wanted but never had. You need some emotional input in your relationship. You don't want it to end up like the other relationships where you hope they can change but they don't change."  So the doubt for the longterm is definitely towards Taite as she (and Ali herself) already saw parallels between her past boyfriends and Taite. That's not a good sign imo. Ali's cousin also is the one who followed and accepted Todd's follow request too and liked posts of him and Ali. It was clear to me she was concerned about Taite being like Ali's past exes.

Speaking of immaturity and OTT expressions of love after such a short time, Ali was the one who was telling Taite she is falling in love with him after one date. And she did this as a lead. She even said she would have chosen Taite even if he didn't feel the same way   Nothing was going to stop her from choosing Taite imo. The reason she chose Taite is because he is 100% her type and something those of us pre-season sleuthing even stated so. As soon as I saw a pic of Taite I said he will be F1. 

Ali is the one who has been engaged and has rushed into all relationships with people who she has said make her worried about the emotional connection. Her past relationship guys were way more logical so her saying that is a GOOD thing Taite is not as effusive or into her emotionally is total BS and just a way for her to justify her making the same choice as she has made with all her past relationships  As she and her cousin said, she needs someone who can fulfill the emotional connection she "strives for" and always lacked and was the reason her relationships never lasted. So I don't see how Taite not being like that is a good thing, rather it is the excuse she has because her lust overshadows her needs until lust and infatuation fades and then imo she is back in her cycle of making the same mistakes. Rinse and repeat   

Just to be clear, I am glad she chose Taite. I never wanted her to choose Todd since before the season even aired that was my position and I consistently posted I hope she does not choose Todd (for his sake I think he has someone much much better suited for him ). 

Ali needs to work on herself first imo as she lives in a world of delusion and has shown me she willingly makes the same mistakes over and over again because SHE is the one who refuses to change and do the work on herself. I actually am one who liked Ali and still likes her but at her age of 32 she is the most immature lead I've followed since Tim's season and I don't expect her to change living in her own bubble of delusion and if/when she complains about her relationship with Taite it won't be anything knew as she expressed doubt about Taite the whole season. She knew jmo


ETA: a few weeks out and I can confirm that Ali is far too immature to be in a real relationship imo and far too fake. Todd dodged a massive bullet with her  jmo

Ali is a great example of how age doesn't necessarily indicate maturity. There are many women in their 20s with a more mature approach to relationships than Ali; at 32 she's making the same mistakes women ten years younger than her are learning from. It's frustrating that they gave lead to someone like that. The whole season was pretty disappointing and I have no faith in tptb at Ten after watching it that they know how to cast a good lead.

AllAboutLove wrote:Ali needs to work on herself first imo as she lives in a world of delusion and has shown me she willingly makes the same mistakes over and over again because SHE is the one who refuses to change and do the work on herself.

Well said @AllAboutLove, I agree with all and especially the above.  IMO the ending to this season proves that Rob was fully justified in asking the question, "Has she does the work?"  And IMO the answer is clearly: NO.

jemily2012 wrote:Laaaadies,
I don't even know in which of the Ali threads I am supposed to post this as it isn't about a topic in particular, but rather about the whole season in general ...
First off, I've been MIA from here for quite a while, but that doesn't mean I was out of the bachelor/ette bubble completely. As usual, the Bachelorette Australia format casted its spell over me (again) and I was sooooo invested in this season    (just as I was with Sam's and Georgia's ) and once again it was due to one man of the season.    :halo:   In this case, it has been Todd and I am so glad to see and read that u all love him as well. He just captured my heart from the start just as Richie and Matty did.
I didn't want this season to end, mainly because I knew I would miss seeing him on my screen every week. HE IS SO DIVINE -INSIDE AND OUT and has a heart of gold.  the way he said goodbye to Ali when she let him go was the best reaction from a reject I've seen so far - so gracious, articulate and kind. I too hope that he is the next bachelor as I need more of him!!!

@jemily2012    Love your post and ITA. Todd was the one who made this season imo! Without him, this season would not have been the same. He really does have heart of gold and beautiful inside and out and deserves someone who will give as much love to him as he will   jmo

I was just thinking about this season and how it was Todd who made it so much better and actually helped imo to make Ali look like she is worth trusting, a future mum, wife, someone to fight for, someone to want happiness for. Without Todd doing this, I don't think Ali would have come out on the better end of things especially with all the issues regarding Grant and alleged cheating etc.

It was Todd who through his actions and words he was the one who was trusting of Ali explicity, who cheered for her and her happiness, who stood up for her and was the opposite of the other frontrunners this season who all cast doubt on Ali...

Example:
Rob -  talked about wanting to leave and questioning if Ali had really changed and done the work on herself or would be making the same mistakes again
Charlie -  talked about not trusting Ali and not trusting her judgment and that she will make the same mistakes again
Bill -  who took Ali to his past hookup/ex's dad's house for HTD and not having his family there showing he wasn't invested in her enough to make sure that his family met someone he was supposedly interested in
Taite -  expressed his doubts and never stood up to Charlie or anyone else who was casting negativity or doubt on Ali, not to mention his liking of Charlie's posts and posting with him while Ali was liking negative posts concerning Charlie (this after the show too) and talked about how she looked to her dad (so a focus on the exterior)

Without Todd, and if the above were F4, I'd say the show would have had a much harder time trying to repair Ali's reputation because I guarantee if all the F4 were guys who were expressing doubt about Ali it wouldn't have looked good for her    

Ali had one person, Todd, who was always backing her and on her side from the beginning to the end, who stood up for her and said he trusted her judgment explicitly, who never got involved in the drama, who believed she was worthy of happiness and love regardless of how many shows she'd been on or rumors about her, who Ali essentally said "Todd sees past the outside and sees me for who I am on the inside" and no one else had seen that and it was what she had always wanted. 

Todd was the one who pushed the narrative forward that Ali was worth fighting for and believing in and wanting happiness for. Even at the end when he was F2 and getting his heart broken, he told her that she deserves happiness and is so happy for her and putting her happiness first and Ali says to him "you've always put me first". In his brokenness, Todd was pushing for Ali's happiness even when the other frontrunners had shown doubt he still believed in her despite being rejected. 

Todd being the person he was essentially changed the early narrative and made the narrative about Ali finding her happiness regardless of her past or how she looked or about the others' doubts about her. By Todd focusing on Ali as a catch and someone to want to be with and see past her exterior looks and beyond her past and rumors etc imo the audience got to see Ali through Todd's eyes    

So without Todd, this season and especially Ali would have been a very different season imo and it was Todd's goodness, his selfless love and belief in Ali, that was the juxtaposition to the ones who held back, expressed doubt, or weren't that into Ali. jmo

AllAboutLove wrote:

Valancy wrote:When Ali was telling her family which two guys they would be meeting, her cousin expressed surprise about Todd and said that wasn't what she expected. Whereas with Taite she said "good". IMO her family gave clear signals that they thought Taite was the better choice for her, but that's just what I saw and felt. Also Ali herself admitted that because she is so emotional herself, she needs someone who is more rational like Taite. I definitely saw and felt a love story there. Have gone back and read Taite's Instagram posts on each of the photos from the show and he made very sweet and funny comments.
Todd was lovely and genuine also, but he was too inexperienced for Ali, IMO. His expressions of love and commitment were over the top for such a short time and I think that showed his immaturity. She would have found it too much after a while, IMO. He will find his HEA.

Actually the cousin after meeting them both at MTP expressed doubt and red-flags about Taite  She told Ali that "you definitely have that emotional connection with Todd that's what you've always lacked in all your past relationships and always wanted in a relationship. I can just see that. The connection is so real and so genuine. Then with Taite is he ever going to have that emotional connection you always wanted but never had. You need some emotional input in your relationship. You don't want it to end up like the other relationships where you hope they can change but they don't change."  So the doubt for the longterm is definitely towards Taite as she (and Ali herself) already saw parallels between her past boyfriends and Taite. That's not a good sign imo. Ali's cousin also is the one who followed and accepted Todd's follow request too and liked posts of him and Ali. It was clear to me she was concerned about Taite being like Ali's past exes.

Speaking of immaturity and OTT expressions of love after such a short time, Ali was the one who was telling Taite she is falling in love with him after one date. And she did this as a lead. She even said she would have chosen Taite even if he didn't feel the same way   Nothing was going to stop her from choosing Taite imo. The reason she chose Taite is because he is 100% her type and something those of us pre-season sleuthing even stated so. As soon as I saw a pic of Taite I said he will be F1. 

Ali is the one who has been engaged and has rushed into all relationships with people who she has said make her worried about the emotional connection. Her past relationship guys were way more logical so her saying that is a GOOD thing Taite is not as effusive or into her emotionally is total BS and just a way for her to justify her making the same choice as she has made with all her past relationships  As she and her cousin said, she needs someone who can fulfill the emotional connection she "strives for" and always lacked and was the reason her relationships never lasted. So I don't see how Taite not being like that is a good thing, rather it is the excuse she has because her lust overshadows her needs until lust and infatuation fades and then imo she is back in her cycle of making the same mistakes. Rinse and repeat   

Just to be clear, I am glad she chose Taite. I never wanted her to choose Todd since before the season even aired that was my position and I consistently posted I hope she does not choose Todd (for his sake I think he has someone much much better suited for him ). 

Ali needs to work on herself first imo as she lives in a world of delusion and has shown me she willingly makes the same mistakes over and over again because SHE is the one who refuses to change and do the work on herself. I actually am one who liked Ali and still likes her but at her age of 32 she is the most immature lead I've followed since Tim's season and I don't expect her to change living in her own bubble of delusion and if/when she complains about her relationship with Taite it won't be anything knew as she expressed doubt about Taite the whole season. She knew jmo

agree, 100%. whether on the bachelor or in real life, I wish for him to find someone who is more carefree and comes with less baggage (in terms of past relationships, media image and expectations re the future) That doesn't necessarily mean that the women needs to be his age/much younger than Ali, but rather that she is less demanding and more willing to compromise. It speaks highly of Todd that he was willing to not only compromise but also sacrifice his 3-year plan for her, but that doesn't sit right with me. Compromising okay and necessary for any relationship to work, but one sacrificing it all  not how it's supposed to be. I want his future girl to be supportive of his career ambitions and willing to move for him!!!

Ali and Taite are the most immature and fakest couple to come from this show imo. 

Posting fake pregnancy tests which is truly heartless considering the many people who try to get pregnant and can't. Shows who they are imo and desperate for attention and fake as can be. 

Ali and Taite deserve each other. jmo