BACHELOR 23 - Colton Underwood - General Discussion - **NO SPOILERS** - *SLEUTHING*

Now we must review Katie and others telling Colton that some of the women there are not ready for marriage. Calynn isn't thrilled that it threw her relationship under the bus.

Calynn tries to explain and manipulates what Katie said. Talks about a conversation they had on the phone after. Katie is shocked and denies that is what happened and says that is the kind of manipulation that Hannah B had warned us about. Kirpa talks about how Calynn talks about sliding into other peoples DM. Hannah B sides with Katie, others say of course you would. Hannah says that it had nothing to do with it and they are ok. She is basically staying out of it and being gracious.

Next up Demi and the cougar club. More screaming and yelling over each other. My head hurts. She is such a fame ho and attention seeker. I would prefer Corinne....I don't remember her screaming so much.

Now we get to the "cancer of the house" and as she tries to "apologize" to Courtney she says that may have been a bit much...she was more like bed bugs. Courtney says she doesn't know how to deal with a child and tries to shove a pacifier in Demi's face who is calling for security.
These people are beyond ridiculous!!!

We now must relive Demi's fake relationship with Colton. Nobody has ever loved her back and she doesn't feel good enough. Maybe it is because you are a mean, attention seeking bitch. This attention isn't going to help her change. She admits she is promiscuous and pretends she was so into Colton and wanted to be the last one and marry him. Of course, we can't get rid of her before we talk about her jailbird mom.

CH basically says she will be on BIP. Thank goodness I will be in Europe for a month and will likely miss the whole mess.

Nicole on the hot seat and we must relive all her tears. She tells us she is latin and talks about her autistic brother.

To help her through all the angst she gets free ice cream for a year from CH. Not a subtle commercial....and everyone gets ice cream.

Next up Hannah B. We must relive her journey with Colton.

Say what you will about her, I think she truly was herself throughout...warts and all. She seemed genuine to me. She is really getting a good edit here. They are really letting her speak and express herself. She deserves someone who really loves her. Is it me or does this almost seem like a set up for the Bette? It's a bit of a replay of Becca last season. Hmmm.....

CH gives Hannah a chance to do the infamous first date toast again and she gets it right this time. She is getting a lot of audience love.

Calynn next in the hot seat. Now we have to watch her journey.

Fake tears about having her heart broken by Colton. Please. She is just laying it on thick. Can you tell that she bugs me?

Now she gets love because of the story she shared. She thinks this isn't an episode of the bachelor or a hashtag, but a movement. That seemed more genuine, but still not a fan.

Here is Colton. He is all nervous.

Shockingly Demi must speak first and makes fun of Courtney not talking to Colton. So stupid.

Next Calynn. She found it hard going home after HTD and answering the questions they had. She asks when he knew. He is not really answering.

Hannah B. She doesn't really ask a question. She just wants him to be happy and thinks he is a good dude.

Colton says he could have done things better.

Sydney asks him if he is still a virgin and lists about a gazillion sexual innuendos. He acts all dumb. I'm sure he knows exactly what she is referring to … now … but I still think he is the dumbest Bachelor.

Demi must add that he missed out on a great FD with her. Probably missed out getting an STD.

Now we must discuss the infamous fence jump.

CH reiterating that they lost him in the countryside and they had no clue where he was.

Colton says he was hurt at being rejected and didn't know what would happen. He was expecting to land on a service tent.

Bloopers...Kirpa's azz landing in his face. people falling down,, mikes and other props falling. trains passing, Hannah B nearly jabbing a production assistant, Colton nailing it...being an azz. Lucy the dog growling at him and some stray dog he was kissing. That part was cute. Stray bugs, animals, woosie Colton doesn't like crabs on top of all the other things he doesn't like. Demi shoving something disgusting and big in her mouth....that joke writes itself. You can all figure it out.

Nothing really all that funny other than Kirpa's a** in Colton's face. Everything else was the usual stuff.

Previews for next week. CH says it's not like anything we have ever seen. I'll believe it when I see it.

Colton is wondering around Portugal aimlessly crying. Having a chat with his dad and CH. What to do as the remaining two women wait all excited. It better be better than this preview!!!

Now we get shots of Colton dancing...badly. I am so over this.

I didn't see anything new from those previews aside from seeing his dad. I guess when we saw him driving that's where he was driving to. Dame they are really holding this ending close to the vest.  Hopefully we'll get some Thursday.

Wasn't going to watch WTA but was bored so streamed it at work . . .

Where was Elyse??  I guess she was true to her word, when she left, she LEFT.  IMO it proves she wasn't after fame.  She went looking for love, didn't find it with Colton, didn't play games to try and get more SM followers.  She left on her terms.  I am putting her in the column of one of the more classier women to appear on this show.

It isn't saying much that I noticed more about who wasn't there versus those that were there.  A whole bunch of unnecessary talking and arguing - thus why I don't usually bother watching.

I agree they could be grooming Hannah B for next B'ette.  They didn't show one unflattering moment of her in the recap of her time on the show.

What did catch my eye is when Colton first came out and CH says to him, "Don't run on me again," and Colton says "No, we're good".  I could swear their is a glint in his eye and the genuine smile he usually wears around Cassie. The optimist in me hopes that is a sign that something worked out for him.  Colton seemed to be a little slimmer and tan, so whatever has happened in the past few months has quite possibly been good for him.

Previews gave us nothing.  I keep going back to the extended preview from night one.  It shows Colton holding a blonde girl up behind the scenes, I always thought it was Cassie.  Maybe it was, maybe it just never made it to the final cut ??  There was also a preview of Colton at a FRC holding an empty ring box - that has me confused as well!  Why would there be a FRC after what we just saw.  He can't possibly get engaged to another woman after his declaration of love for Cassie.

I guess they have kept me on the hook all season.  In another few days all will be settled and we will find out the question burning brighter than the sun - - - Is Colton still holding his V card?  (that was for you @Sprite )

This will be the last silly thing I say, as I am sure next week will not turn out anything like I think/am hoping and my life will go on and nothing in my world will change whether Colton ends up with anyone or not.

After re-watching Monday episode with my rose colored glasses on (yes I spent more time obsessing - only C/C portion of show tho) I am beginning to wonder if this is producer driven drama and just an over-the-top version of the F1 "has to overcome something" situation.  When I see these two interact there is no doubt there is chemistry.  I also think that Cassie's dad made her overthink everything.  I am trying to picture things from a 23 year-old perspective and it is difficult, but I do know that as a woman, if you aren't interested in a guy you cut him loose.  There is no hanging on, declaring love, kissing, etc....  Call me crazy but when I watch those last scenes of them I almost feel like they are holding back smiles.  I know that sounds so strange but I noticed it a couple of times.

If they don't somehow end up together I will be completely surprised.  It may be a Jason or Arie situation (as in a cluster of drama) less Colton actually choosing someone and then changing his mind.  If this is the case I will actually respect him more for staying true to his feelings and not giving in to having to "choose someone" in the end no matter what.

My last thoughts are Cassie is either the best actress to be on the show lately, she is giving her best go at the B'ette spot, or she is in love with Colton and they went through all of this because it was so obvious from the beginning that they needed an explosive ending to keep us all guessing.

I have a pretty good record with picking F1, even remaining unspoiled - we shall see if I am way off this time.

Peace out!  See you next Monday & Tuesday.  I could be banging my head and wondering how I ever thought there would be a happy ending and why I didn't 'jump the fence' weeks ago

I'm back. It is 15 minutes into the show and they haven't shown anything new. Just reshowing the same old cr*p. They are all still chasing after the AWOL Colton. This is ridiculous...it's like an episode of COPS.