Becca Kufrin & Garrett Yrigoyen - Bachelorette 14 - Discussion

In my opinion becca should not be pressured into breaking up with Garrett  if people do not like him just unfollow him I read on the internet and they keep on trashing him saying becca should dump him on her ig posts to me it is her relationship and if she wants to stay with him that is her choice but I guess this is what comes with being a somewhat celebrity jmo

This is IMO something that illustrates a lot of elements that are being challenged in Becca’s life right now as her Astro profile is indicating clearly.
She began her Saturn return which is a major life changing reassessment of one’s values and priorities. Other configurations add to the already important focus that Saturn brings, which is restructuring.
I truly wish her strength and courage and hopefully this phase will pave the way to a better version of herself and her life.

Excerpt from Astro forecast for Becca:

Last year, many aspects of your life have begun to change. Relationships may have changed, and you may have changed your residence or your job; you have been dominated by an urgent feeling that if you don't do everything you have always wanted to do, you will never have another chance. And now, at about twenty-nine, you will feel that a substantial portion of your life has passed and that you had better get on with making it all work. If your relationship is unsatisfactory but you have been making the best of it, you will examine that relationship even more thoroughly now and may decide to end it. Certainly you will have to change it substantially.

This is a time of endings and new beginnings. If you have built your life up to now around activities that are inappropriate for you, it will be a period of crisis. If you have been doing what you should in previous years, this influence will simply mark a time of solidification and the beginning of new phases of activity.


Beginning of February 2020 until mid-December 2021: In several areas of your life you can expect great changes that will come only after considerable difficulty. A typical situation is one in which you are forced to hold on to something for dear life or to persist in some task or project in the face of energies that are trying to make you give up. It must be said that a positive aspect of this influence is that it considerably increases your persistence and tenacity, but unfortunately it also creates the need for these characteristics. In the face of this pressure it is often better to surrender than to take a hard line and hold on. Whatever is being changed usually needs to change, and you will gain little by holding on, except to delay the inevitable.

Things may be taken away from you, such as money or other possessions, relationships or something else that you value perhaps too much

Events and circumstances will make it clear that you have neglected much that must be done, and the structures of your life that have held you back will seem intolerable. You can no longer accept barriers such as responsibilities that you have put up with for years, onerous duties or perhaps a built-in fear of breaking away from the established order.

This is often accompanied by a change of job or residence or the breakup of relationships. And however catastrophic these changes seem to others, they are usually quite fortunate and allow everything to work out for the best.

Beginning of June 2020 until end of April 2021: During this time in your late twenties, you become conscious that you have grown up. Any structures in your life that have held over from childhood and adolescence appear inappropriate now. You recognize your adulthood and want to take your place among adults and no longer be regarded as a child. You are seeking independence from the factors that limited you as a child, and you are trying to establish your own way of thinking about the world.

At this time you are likely to make rather significant changes in your life in order to achieve more perfect self-expression. You may be inclined to throw over an existing personal relationship in order to liberate yourself from the restrictions it imposed and to look for new relationships that will better fit your needs.

So after gathering details about the whole thing, the thing that bothered me the most was that Garrett posted the pic on the day of the Becca's grandfather's funeral according to Rachel. Of course that is insensitive to Becca (not saying he isn't allowed to post his viewpoints to his own social medias). He knows that anything he does Becca will get hate too since she's his fiance and she didn't need that piled on her plate as well. I also don't believe Garrett would "uninvite" Bekah over without Becca knowing first.. but I could be wrong. Also, we don't know of Bekah and Becca's friendship and how strong it is. It's very possible that Becca really didn't like Bekah because of her rebuttal to Garrett's post. IMO, and this is simply my opinion that a good friend wouldn't call out their friend's fiance in public on SM, but should rather talk to the friend about it.

Also, the people that are going "poor Becca" or pushing her to break up with Garrett.. Becca has been dating him for 2 years and knows him way more than any of us do. I also keep seeing people saying that Garrett seems emotionally manipulative and like a gaslighter. Well that none of us would know. Also, people are assuming that Becca should be super offended at what Garrett posted. Becca has been dating Garrett for the past two years and I highly doubt that she didn't know of his political beliefs. If they are that different, they both have to figure out whether it's a deal breaker or not.

Personally I don't think Garrett should've posted the BLM square and then post the black square with the blue line after. It confused people and I think he should've just posted the blue line one if that was always his intention. (not saying whether I agree or disagreed, but if that was always his intention then stick with it instead of confusing people even more) It seemed to me he felt forced to post the BLM one.. there's a lot more people in BN that have the same views as Garrett but just keep their views hidden.

I find his posts after the fact more problematic, a whole outta nothing and just copy and pastes without much substance.. I don't care what he posts but hopefully him and Becca discuss this and they figure out whether this is a deal breaker or if they can move on from this. I have a feeling that Becca didn't know he would post his blue lives pic on the day of the funeral, but I doubt Becca didn't know of his political views.

There are a lot of successful couples with opposing political beliefs. Unfortunately they're in the spotlight so there's a lot more eyes and pressure on their relationship. I believe Becca's ex had similar political beliefs/hobbies as Garrett and she was with him for 7 years on and off.

Wishing them both the best whatever the outcome may be even though I don't think they are breaking up anytime soon.

SM can be so powerful in influencing your mindset if you let it. The past two weeks I’ve literally gone back and forth on my opinion on this whole thing. One minute I read comments that make me feel one way, and then I read other comments and I feel the complete opposite.

I think it was a great decision that they’ve kept the majority of this conversation private between the both of them. Initially, I thought I would have wanted Garrett to go on the podcast with Becca and Rachel but I’m okay that he didn’t. I’m a fan of these two but I can admit that Garrett is certainly not the most articulate F1. His words may have been misconstrued and IMO he knows that which is why he was posting quotes..... he basically said that when he got backlash about voicing his own opinions instead of quotes.

I think it’s telling that Becca made a statement that she is trying much harder to only speak for herself, and she can’t speak for Garrett. They’re in a partnership but beliefs and interests don’t have to mirror one another for it to be successful. Only Becca knows how he treats her and others and if that’s enough for her. From following their relationship for 2 years, I’ve witnessed Becca appreciate Garrett’s mindset and positivity on certain subjects. Time will tell.

Astrobach wrote:This is IMO something that illustrates a lot of elements that are being challenged in Becca’s life right now as her Astro profile is indicating clearly.
She began her Saturn return which is a major life changing reassessment of one’s values and priorities. Other configurations add to the already important focus that Saturn brings, which is restructuring.
I truly wish her strength and courage and hopefully this phase will pave the way to a better version of herself and her life.

Excerpt from Astro forecast for Becca:

Last year, many aspects of your life have begun to change. Relationships may have changed, and you may have changed your residence or your job; you have been dominated by an urgent feeling that if you don't do everything you have always wanted to do, you will never have another chance. And now, at about twenty-nine, you will feel that a substantial portion of your life has passed and that you had better get on with making it all work. If your relationship is unsatisfactory but you have been making the best of it, you will examine that relationship even more thoroughly now and may decide to end it. Certainly you will have to change it substantially.

This is a time of endings and new beginnings. If you have built your life up to now around activities that are inappropriate for you, it will be a period of crisis. If you have been doing what you should in previous years, this influence will simply mark a time of solidification and the beginning of new phases of activity.


Beginning of February 2020 until mid-December 2021: In several areas of your life you can expect great changes that will come only after considerable difficulty. A typical situation is one in which you are forced to hold on to something for dear life or to persist in some task or project in the face of energies that are trying to make you give up. It must be said that a positive aspect of this influence is that it considerably increases your persistence and tenacity, but unfortunately it also creates the need for these characteristics. In the face of this pressure it is often better to surrender than to take a hard line and hold on. Whatever is being changed usually needs to change, and you will gain little by holding on, except to delay the inevitable.

Things may be taken away from you, such as money or other possessions, relationships or something else that you value perhaps too much

Events and circumstances will make it clear that you have neglected much that must be done, and the structures of your life that have held you back will seem intolerable. You can no longer accept barriers such as responsibilities that you have put up with for years, onerous duties or perhaps a built-in fear of breaking away from the established order.

This is often accompanied by a change of job or residence or the breakup of relationships. And however catastrophic these changes seem to others, they are usually quite fortunate and allow everything to work out for the best.

Beginning of June 2020 until end of April 2021: During this time in your late twenties, you become conscious that you have grown up. Any structures in your life that have held over from childhood and adolescence appear inappropriate now. You recognize your adulthood and want to take your place among adults and no longer be regarded as a child. You are seeking independence from the factors that limited you as a child, and you are trying to establish your own way of thinking about the world.

At this time you are likely to make rather significant changes in your life in order to achieve more perfect self-expression. You may be inclined to throw over an existing personal relationship in order to liberate yourself from the restrictions it imposed and to look for new relationships that will better fit your needs.

Astrobach, this is prophetic and scary accurate. 
IMO, Becca has grown enough to realize Garrett is dead weight. It’s not about lack of communication. He has nothing significant to say and no real tools to say it. He knows that. He is limited and limiting her. She knows that. 

So what now? She loves him. I don’t think anyone questions that. She can continue to keep him. That is an option and likely his first choice. Without her, he’s just a guy. When she looks around at the other Bachelorettes’ and related relationships (Kaitlynn, Jojo, Rachel, Raven, Arie, Ben, Peter, etc.)/, she knows she’s short-changed and for two years she has done ALL the heavy lifting and I know he’s supposedly studying to be a first responder but, what’s been his contribution up to now and what’s the driver behind that decision? From what I’ve seen, the box his intellect limits him to is not big enough for Becca on any level. It takes smarts to expand and understand and empathize and grow. It’s easier to just stay stuck on stupid. That’s what he seems determined to do. She will be explaining and making excuses for him forever but, real people will avoid them both and Becca knows and hopes to avoid that. She doesn’t understand yet that it won’t work.  

I don’t see him gainfully employed in earnest work. I never bought him as a marketing rep for sophisticated medical supplies. That job takes a whole lot of something he has in short supply. Someone successful in that field has no problem getting another job. 

Becca can keep him. She wouldn’t be the first to stunt her own growth in favor whatever he has. But, I just don’t think she will. 
All IMO.

@wishesfireworks

timfan wrote:In my opinion becca should not be pressured into breaking up with Garrett  if people do not like him just unfollow him I read on the internet and they keep on trashing him saying becca should dump him on her ig posts to me it is her relationship and if she wants to stay with him that is her choice but I guess this is what comes with being a somewhat celebrity jmo

I couldn't agree with you more. I don't read very many comments on anyone, and certainly never on Becca or Garrett's SM but I can imagine how nasty some people are. I think she needs to do what she feels is right. If she feels they can have a happy life together then go for it. If it doesn't work down the road, it's not unusual for people to break up whether they are married or not. I believe everyone should follow their heart. If it turns out to be the wrong decision, or it doesn't work out, so be it, it's part of life.

I've made some decisions that were plain stupid in the past but at the time it seemed reasonable. If I didn't make some of those decisions there are other good things that wouldn't have happened. That's the way the cookie crumbles in life. JMO's.

@GuardianAngel

If it were me, I wouldn’t have picked Garrett in the first place so it’s hard for me to tell Becca what she should do. I just hope she takes the time to think about what’s best for her now and in the future, including potentially bringing up kids.

The red flags for me with Garrett - purely with regards to his relationship with Becca, not regarding politics - are his unilateral "Bekah's not invited over for dinner anymore" childish tantrum (when Bekah is Becca's friend, not his - that's not his decision to make!), and the way he put his most controversial post out the day after Becca's grandfather's funeral, making her have to worry about Garrett and his social media at a time when she's grieving and thinking of her family. I feel like he has no regard for Becca and what she wants or feels at all.

If she chooses to stay with him, I hope I'm wrong, for her sake.

@leavers  I've never been a fan of Garrett.  And I like Becca so much.  It's of course their lives and what occurs in private IDK.  However, the public facing part IMHO is that he is about Garrett, and Becca is a giver and tries so hard to smooth over all his rough edges.  I think it's worked til now because she tries so hard and he's behaved to a point.  For her sake, I hope she takes the time to really assess what her needs/wants are and finds the right way to stand up for herself.  IMO I think she favorably compared Garrett to her dad and she was a goner from then on.  When I saw the Father's Day photo of her as a little girl with her dad, it broke my heart.   I'm thinking that Mr. Kurfrin is a harder act to follow than Garrett or she are ready to admit.

I think you're right about Becca comparing Garrett to her dad, @pavalygurl. I didn't get that during the season because how do you even know them that well to decide that?

@albean99

bean, I didn't get it then either, but I remember her talking about it shortly afterward. I think she saw Garrett is a outdoor sportsman and it reminded her of her dad.