Becca Kufrin & Garrett Yrigoyen - Bachelorette 14 - Discussion

timfan wrote:I just think his timing is poor he has family in law enforcement so I think he just wanted to support them jmo

Perhaps a phone call would’ve sufficed.
I have a different perspective on his timing and posting.
This guy is an interesting character and by that I mean strange. That’s my opinion! He’s the kind who sees only his inner circle, no intermingling with other races (sticks to his kind) thinks he’s better and this is why he had no qualms liking gross and inappropriate postings of other cultures.
Socially he posted Black Lives Matter (black box with emoji) because it’s for appearance and to insinuate he has changed. He’s learning! Couple of days later he posted Blue Lives Matter with a long caption about where his feelings lay. To me, this was his initial intent to post before BLM. To me, he’s the same, he’s providing lip service.
There was nothing in his post that convince me that he cares to understand why BLACK LIVES MATTER... but in his post I see he cares about his own, cops in his family. Does he recognize that there’re black cops? The same cops once out of uniform are seen only as black. There’s no BLUE.

If you’re on social media, you’ve seen the following:

All Lives Matter
What does that mean? Does it mean that all humans of every race matters, regardless of their color, the color of their eyes or hair, where you live, attractiveness/ugliness, how rich or poor, clout or obscurity, what you do for a living, how many friends you have, how many likes?

What does this really mean? Or what it should mean?
What it should mean is that what I mentioned above shouldn’t be a requirement. It should mean that all men are created equal and should be judged accordingly without biases and prejudices. It should mean that everyone should get a fair opportunity and a chance to live a safe and healthy life, to have access to the basic needs to survive. To be able to walk free without fear OR perceived to be a threat, it should mean that no race or human should be equated to be less than an animal OR enslaved. ALL LIVES MATTERS in humanity.

Blue Lives Matter
I’ve wondered how this came about and I needs to read more about its origins. The police force has a very strong union and are protected and I’m not talking about weaponry.
NO ONE IS DENYING THAT the police is important to our society. To protect and serve. Officers of servitude to communities at large. They need to develop a relationship with the communities.
There are good and bad in all walks of lives and professions. There are good cops and bad cops. There are black cops.
BLACK COPS when they remove their uniforms are seen as just BLACK MEN... BLUE LIVES MATTER

Black Lives Matter
When all of the above does not matter, when a race is viewed as less than equal, when the cops are called just because you’re black, when you are blamed for a crime because it sounds more believable or credible, when you tell a white woman to leashed her dog and the inclination is to call the police, when said dog gets more attention than the aggrieved black man, when simple routine arrest results in murder, when you’re asked why/what are you doing here, when you are denied fair housing, job opportunities, questioned and stopped “just because“, subjected to inequalities, injustices, oppressions, and brutality.
BLACK LIVES MATTER.

Imo the problem with Garrett’s post wasn’t merely the timing.

The protests are about racial injustice and police brutality. Just about the whole world is protesting with endless heartbreaking video's being posted on SM for proof. Protesters being beaten with baton's, tear gassed one minute after curfew. Cop cars ramming into crowds.
Cops pushing people to the ground, rubber bullets taking out a reporters eye. This isn't about those that protect and serve which is what they are suppose to do.

There are a heck of a lot more than a "few".

We can’t judge an entire group of people by the actions of a few. We can’t judge the peaceful protesters by the actions of the few violent protesters, and we sure can’t judge all cops by the actions of a few bad ones.”

Has he bothered to count the number of "mistakes" law enforcement have made in hundreds of years? It's a mistake to beat arrest and kill black people for no reason? I don't think he's all there IMHO.

Yrigoyen added cops are “still humans with raw emotion” who “make mistakes.”

He hasn't listened to anything, IMHO, if he did he wouldn't be making these types of comments.

I’ve listened, learned, helped, supported, and grown.

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/garrett-yrigoyen-bekah-martinez-argue-over-police-post/

I’ve never been a fan of Garrett’s and still don’t see what Becca sees in him. I haven’t been following them as a couple since the show but this makes me think he hasn’t changed at all from the guy who had to clean up his social media. I like Becca and just hope she’s doing what’s best for her.

GuardianAngel wrote:The protests are about racial injustice and police brutality. Just about the whole world is protesting with endless heartbreaking video's being posted on SM for proof. Protesters being beaten with baton's, tear gassed one minute after curfew. Cop cars ramming into crowds.
Cops pushing people to the ground, rubber bullets taking out a reporters eye. This isn't about those that protect and serve which is what they are suppose to do.

There are a heck of a lot more than a "few".

We can’t judge an entire group of people by the actions of a few. We can’t judge the peaceful protesters by the actions of the few violent protesters, and we sure can’t judge all cops by the actions of a few bad ones.”

Has he bothered to count the number of "mistakes" law enforcement have made in hundreds of years? It's a mistake to beat arrest and kill black people for no reason? I don't think he's all there IMHO.

Yrigoyen added cops are “still humans with raw emotion” who “make mistakes.”

He hasn't listened to anything, IMHO, if he did he wouldn't be making these types of comments.

I’ve listened, learned, helped, supported, and grown.

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/garrett-yrigoyen-bekah-martinez-argue-over-police-post/

I really agree with all your post GA and what we’re witnessing is a strong ‘ militarization’ of the police force everywhere. They are no longer trained to protect but to ‘ control’.
I was posting and recollecting a lot today marks the sad anniversary of the assassination of Robert F Kennedy, on June 5 1968 tragically taken too soon and yet leaving a long legacy of human rights activist who follow in his footsteps, amongst which his own son, the champion for environmental protection and Children’s health.
Wondering what he would say and do as a leader, witnessing our civil unrest now. If only we had more of these leaders who are fearless in their resolve and peaceful in their approach  He was an example of real leadership in the middle of strife and very similar civil unrest. There are countless videos and powerful speeches that resonated enough with people of each camp, that they would let their anger be appeased by his words.
Nowadays, we are living with the opposite, as many factions are sponsoring a lot of the acts of violence, looting and provocation that are purposely played out all over ( coincidence really? Check out numerous videos and testimonies of people witnessing the ‘ preparation’ of destruction that happened in each city with planned protests.) That is the unfortunate tactic of ‘ divide to conquer’ that is utilized now, since the lockdown is apparently not yet enough control on our daily movements and freedom of speech. That’s why I believe it is VITAL to avoid mainstream medias, and stay vigilant and united in our own neighborhood.

albean99 wrote:I’ve never been a fan of Garrett’s and still don’t see what Becca sees in him. I haven’t been following them as a couple since the show but this makes me think he hasn’t changed at all from the guy who had to clean up his social media. I like Becca and just hope she’s doing what’s best for her.

Same here, I really think he is not too bright, and his ‘ learning’ is limited to his own circles and benefit. Becca got blinded by the ‘ similar to dad’ aspects and as we know, love is blind. She has made excuses for him and his behavior, quite often,  be it political or plain immature, and it’s her choice to realize if she really sees a ‘ future’ with him ....as a father to their kids. He’s not on her level and doesn’t look interested in ever growing to be so.
All JMHO

@Astrobach,
I agree with you. I’ve noticed Becca doesn’t talk about marriage so, I assume she’s smart enough to realize Garrett is just a boyfriend. She works so hard, it just annoys me he’s such a loaf. What is his contribution? Seems to me he is my most serious dislike: A big loaf who won’t work and is content to let her feed him and pay all the bills. I’m pretty sure that is not like her father, at all. I also agree with the poster who said it’s time for Becca  to “take out the trash”. Get a real partner who can carry his own weight, at least and not just a playmate and errand boy full of macho, classless, tone deaf b.s.
All IMO.

I think it’s complicated.
I have an uncle-in-law who aggressively shares his racist views at family gatherings. Somehow he manages to get on this topic every time. My aunt was a widow and remarried (him) after her youngest child graduated. We follow the lead of her children... respect that he is her choice. Despite that we don’t respect his freedom of choice to be racist. We’ve all learned to say “no”. No to not wanting to continue the convo. We tell him we don’t agree and if he tries to continue we tell him “no” again. I’ve sometimes told him I’m walking away and will come back later and talk about something else. And I do.
Sometimes it’s possible to have differing views but still continue the conversation. With my uncle-in-law it’s not. We all tried early on. As her niece I follow my father’s lead. She is his sister. We love her dearly and practice patience because of our love and respect for her. She’s not his keeper when it comes to views on race.
My point is, my aunt doesn’t hold the same views about people as he does but they have love and other things that bond them. I wouldn’t survive in a relationship like that but she does.
I don’t know the particulars of Becca and Garret’s relationship or the extent of Garret’s views but I do know firsthand that what is a red flag to some is not a deal breaker to others.

notarose wrote:I think it’s complicated.
I have an uncle-in-law who aggressively shares his racist views at family gatherings. Somehow he manages to get on this topic every time. My aunt was a widow and remarried (him) after her youngest child graduated. We follow the lead of her children... respect that he is her choice. Despite that we don’t respect his freedom of choice to be racist. We’ve all learned to say “no”. No to not wanting to continue the convo. We tell him we don’t agree and if he tries to continue we tell him “no” again. I’ve sometimes told him I’m walking away and will come back later and talk about something else. And I do.
Sometimes it’s possible to have differing views but still continue the conversation. With my uncle-in-law it’s not. We’ve all tried. As her niece I follow my father’s lead. She is his sister. We love her dearly and practice patience because of our love for her.
My point is, my aunt doesn’t hold the same views about people as he does but they have love and other things that bond them. I wouldn’t survive in a relationship like that but she does.
I don’t know the particulars of Becca and Garret’s relationship but I do know firsthand that what is a red flag to some is not a deal breaker to others.

@notarose, 
I think you are right and Becca came to terms with who and what Garrett is when she made the decision to stay with him after his leanings were exposed via SM and whatever discussion ensued. By now, she may even marginally accept what he’s saying because he makes it sound somewhat reasonable based upon his most recent baying. Racism can be more of an issue for those discriminated against than those who THINK such ignorance and narrow-mindedness does not impact them. Truth is, racist views are a matched set with some other views that are equally disgusting. For example, in my experience, most men who find other races inferior and less than are not usually great proponents of women’s rights, either. He’s shrewd so, maybe no issues, yet. 

The deal breaker for me is his lack of income/employment. That would make me unable to stand him. All IMO.

They are just dating so Becca may be able to tolerate his views for now but she needs to think about what if they build a family together. Will she be ok with him teaching her kids some of his ideas and thoughts she disagrees with. I don't think he is a good fit for her in the long run. I have no doubt he loves Becca and that he is a devoted boyfriend. But I don't think he is a good husband material for her. Imo.

makeover wrote:They are just dating so Becca may be able to tolerate his views for now but she needs to think about what if they build a family together. Will she be ok with him teaching her kids some of his ideas and thoughts she disagrees with. I don't think he is a good fit for her in the long run. I have no doubt he loves Becca and that he is a devoted boyfriend. But I don't think he is a good husband material for her. Imo.

Completely agree with the bolded, and that (in theory) should be the biggest deal breaker.

@notarose thanks for sharing a personal story.

I wouldn't be able to be in a relationship like that, or like Becca's. I wouldn't have gotten past the personal political racist likes on his IG. I read their fan thread all the time however I don't give him one ounce of credit for anything, well that's just the way it is with me and with people like that. The good things one does doesn't make up for the bad IMHO.

It's like a lady boss I had years ago. One day she was sweet as pie, the next day a holy terror. I disliked her every day. The good days don't make up for the insulting bad days therefore I had nothing in common with her.