Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion

nuts2uiam wrote:I am not a fan of Arie's at all and I really didn't watch a lot of the season.  Based upon the past record of fails in the marriage department, this one may well follow that pattern too. But, I will say that when a guy has been single so long and has an array of girlfriends and never settles down, it "could" just be that he has not found Ms. Right.  Not saying the is the case but, he could quite easily have just dis-engaged with Becca and dated Lauren and not gotten engaged to her.  He would have gotten a lot less flack for it.  I will stand by to see if it end in a marriage or not but I do think there is always a first time for someone.

IMO was that not big enough???? There was NO way RE was getting out of being engaged to Lauren.. That fangirl knew what she was doing... She's played this game before..**IMO**

Sprite wrote:

grace8136 wrote:

Diana wrote:I will never understand why Arie is so annoyed and calling Bekah immature for posting their DM'S. like dude... you shouldn't have sent them then. JMO

It could be worse, at least "immature" implies she'll grow out of it. I think posting anyone's DM/texts without their permission is a huge betrayal, so there better be a valid reason to go there and some inescapable evidence, otherwise why would others trust you not to do the same to them at some point? I don't see how she had either, yet she somehow decided it was ok to put it out there and get people speculating on whether or not the DMs meant he was trying to cheat on Lauren. I don't understand why she would do that.

I think the bigger betrayal is a pattern of cheating on your girlfriends to the point of having to keep a spreadsheet to keep them straight and having to jump out of windows when your current girlfriend finds you in bed with someone new, but that is what the lyingdick does. It is a consistent pattern with previous relationships. IMO Baby apparently became aware of those patterns post show and decided to share. Most likely she thought he was making those same moves on her...particularly as we have just found out that he was sending messages to multiple other women from the show. I would have no problem with any of my friends posting any of my texts/DM's...but, then again, I have nothing to hide.

Bekah can only control her own actions. Whatever she believes Arie has done is not an excuse to lower her own standards. She knew all she had was fodder for gossip and speculation and went with it anyway.

Your "friend" that post your texts would also have to be implying that your intent in them should not be taken at face value.. you really meant something else, something wrong and then she has to have an audience of thousands of people so that she can also hurt your partner/family with the speculation that follows.

Lucas15 wrote:JMHO but I think the whole issue of Arie "DMing" those with whom he's had a past relationship is best explained by something Courtney said in the RS podcast. IIRC she told Arie that he should contact the people he had been dating and tell them he had gotten engaged - so that they would not hear it for the first time when watching a TV show. IMO Arie just took that advice to heart and tried to do just that because it made sense to him. Frankly - it makes sense to me too.

I think DMing past relationships was a bit of pre-emptive damage control and was decent advice but probably not needed to be honest (IMO). Agree with others, who say it would've been pretty hard to miss your FWB or not-quite boyfriend being announced as The Bachelor when he recently ghosted you.

Again, I think the issue here is that Arie has previously used SM and "sliding into DMs" as a way to initiate a contact with women, not wrap-up relationships. Per Kendall's commentary, Arie was/is in contact with others from his season, not just Bekah and Lauren. His need to be in contact with other women, not just his F1 or F2, is interesting and, to some, worrisome because it mirrors previous "single man" behavior, and could imply he is seeking something not currently available in his relationships.  All IMO.

He already has one serious female friend, Courtney, a previous FWB, does he need more female companionship? And will Lauren be okay with that?

Seems like Arie likes keeping his exes in his life as FWB or whatever. Wasn't there that other girl who he slept with just before filming who he'd been dating, or hooking up with, on and off for years? And he wanted to hang out with Sydney as well after their breakup IIRC. It's weird. Why can't he just stick to one woman at a time and let his exes be if he never even loved them? I would hate to date a guy who's still in touch with all his f*ckbuddies and sliding into other women's DM's for no apparent reason. JMO.

I’m assuming ABC will try to televise Arie and Lauren’s wedding. If you two get invited, will you attend?

BM: I’m not getting invited. [Laughs.]

KL: I will. Bekah might not be invited.

BM: You know how Caroline called him out at Women Tell All when she was like, I know what you did! Arie didn’t want her sitting in the audience when he came out for After the Final Rose, so she had to leave. Like, what is she going to do? Rush the stage? She screamed at him in front of the whole audience. You didn’t even see all of it. She was like, How could you?! If he didn’t want her in the audience for After the Final Rose, I highly doubt he wants me in the audience of his wedding. I mean, I wouldn’t say anything, I’d just be live tweeting it.

Thought this passage was interesting and Bekah's commenting about "live tweeting" hilarious. Ah, millennials and their love of documenting anything and everything.  

Source: Brunch and Bitching The Bachelor with Bekah M. and Kendall

stuckinsc wrote:

ReneeM wrote:

grace8136 wrote:

It could be worse, at least "immature" implies she'll grow out of it. I think posting anyone's DM/texts without their permission is a huge betrayal, so there better be a valid reason to go there and some inescapable evidence, otherwise why would others trust you not to do the same to them at some point? I don't see how she had either, yet she somehow decided it was ok to put it out there and get people speculating on whether or not the DMs meant he was trying to cheat on Lauren. I don't understand why she would do that.

I think if I, a stranger, posted Bekah and Arie's DM's that would be crossing a line. Bekah can't cross a line by posting her own dm's. Once he took it upon herself to slide into her messages they're also hers to do with as she pleases. You know how you avoid that? By not sliding into her DM's in the first place. I find it this argument ironic considering Arie went on national television and shared the story of his then girlfriend's miscarriage TWICE (a story far more personal than what Bekah shared) after she expressed that she was not comfortable with that. He didn't seem to care about her privacy because it's his story too. Well these DM's were Bekah's too. All JMO.

I LOVE this post! I continue to not understand how everyone but Arie is wrong? JMO.

I thought of it as right from wrong, not defending Arie. Arie can be wrong about bringing up the miscarriage on national television and Bekah can be wrong for posting his DMs to her.

SarahD wrote:Well IMO, Bekah showed more maturity and integrity than Lauren by asking Becca first before sending Arie a message. That’s respect! Whereas I have no respect for dumb Lauren because she egged and prodded him and gave him an ultimatum to leave Becca. IMO

Where did this come from? When did Lauren egged and prodded him to leave Becca? I may have missed vid's or articles, but I don't recall that.

stuckinsc wrote:
I LOVE this post! I continue to not understand how everyone but Arie is wrong? JMO.

I'm not sure what you mean by how everyone but Arie is wrong. There are 26 pages and probably 25 1/2 pages are opinions not in Arie's favour.

***Snipped

ReneeM wrote:
I think if I, a stranger, posted Bekah and Arie's DM's that would be crossing a line. Bekah can't cross a line by posting her own dm's. Once he took it upon herself to slide into her messages they're also hers to do with as she pleases. You know how you avoid that? By not sliding into her DM's in the first place. I find it this argument ironic considering Arie went on national television and shared the story of his then girlfriend's miscarriage TWICE (a story far more personal than what Bekah shared) after she expressed that she was not comfortable with that. He didn't seem to care about her privacy because it's his story too. Well these DM's were Bekah's too. All JMO.

Thank you for stating this so plainly and clearly. I was very uncomfortable with that miscarriage conversation when it aired and then again when it was justified because it was Arie's story as well. At the time I was disappointed to see it used as prop to woo a woman and disrespectful to the woman he lost a child with - IMO.

To see that scenario and those discussions, compared to Bekah's "DM betrayal" is very enlightening. All IMO.

@grace8136 I don’t think Bekah sharing the DMs is wrong. He send them, did I miss where he asked her not to share and she did?

If Arie has nothing to hide his DMing Bekah wouldn’t be a big deal. But from a guy who we know got with Sydney and Lauren by doing this, it makes it seem bad. Arie’s actions are what makes this shady. IMO.

My hubby and I post stuff on FB that we message each other all the time, we have nothing to hide, so NBD.

grace8136 wrote:

Sprite wrote:

grace8136 wrote:

It could be worse, at least "immature" implies she'll grow out of it. I think posting anyone's DM/texts without their permission is a huge betrayal, so there better be a valid reason to go there and some inescapable evidence, otherwise why would others trust you not to do the same to them at some point? I don't see how she had either, yet she somehow decided it was ok to put it out there and get people speculating on whether or not the DMs meant he was trying to cheat on Lauren. I don't understand why she would do that.

I think the bigger betrayal is a pattern of cheating on your girlfriends to the point of having to keep a spreadsheet to keep them straight and having to jump out of windows when your current girlfriend finds you in bed with someone new, but that is what the lyingdick does. It is a consistent pattern with previous relationships. IMO Baby apparently became aware of those patterns post show and decided to share. Most likely she thought he was making those same moves on her...particularly as we have just found out that he was sending messages to multiple other women from the show. I would have no problem with any of my friends posting any of my texts/DM's...but, then again, I have nothing to hide.

Bekah can only control her own actions. Whatever she believes Arie has done is not an excuse to lower her own standards. She knew all she had was fodder for gossip and speculation and went with it anyway.

Your "friend" that post your texts would also have to be implying that your intent in them should not be taken at face value.. you really meant something else, something wrong and then she has to have an audience of thousands of people so that she can also hurt your partner/family with the speculation that follows.

I'm sorry, but I totally disagree. She simple showed his posts. That to me is not lowering any standards. Big deal. If it was all so innocent why is he so p*ssed about it? IMO if he wasn't trying to hide something he wouldn't be complaining. Maybe he is thinking that she got the ball rolling and the other women he messaged might now also start sharing his posts? I go by the old Sheakspeare quote from Hamlet...The lady (in this case Arie) doth protest too much, methinks.

GuardianAngel wrote:

SarahD wrote:Well IMO, Bekah showed more maturity and integrity than Lauren by asking Becca first before sending Arie a message. That’s respect! Whereas I have no respect for dumb Lauren because she egged and prodded him and gave him an ultimatum to leave Becca. IMO

Where did this come from? When did Lauren egged and prodded him to leave Becca? I may have missed vid's or articles, but I don't recall that.

I didn’t know she did that either! News to me!

I don’t think that he’s protested too much about Bekah sharing  the DMs.  CMIIW, I think it was one answer to one question, in one interview.  

But, I liked your Shakespeare reference @Sprite. It made me smile and reminded me of one of my favorite Arie moments from Emilys season.  

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