Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - General Discussion - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

Fangirl26 wrote:@sdmom ugh after reading Becca's sister's comments I'm even more upset at the producers and I'm praying that Becca is as strong as most believe. I just...I feel like I need to add Becca to my prayer list because those producers don't have anyone's best interest at heart and the breakup is still fresh and they will prey on her every vulnerability in the name of good ratings sigh. She will be in a bubble with no one to talk to except them and since they even manage to manipulate strong-willed spitfires like Rachel I'm a little concerned.

ITA with the prayer list part. The sister's comments were eye opening to me but not in a surprising sense - more to the extent if that makes sense. Where the sister and I might disagree is that I am way more suspicious of TPTB and I also don't underestimate them. IMO they know everything there is to know about everybody, so they didn't need the sister to tell them anything - I think they already knew it - and that made it easy to convince the ex to show up because that was his long term pattern.

Where I fear a bit for Becca is that she let this ex go on and on with his BS for 7 years - and whatever it is about her allowed that to happen is now a button they already know about and are likely to exploit for drama.

The ability to exploit or manipulate varies with each person.
 I think TPTB desire finding the right person they can manipulate for their leads. 
IMO it's easier for them to plant seeds and suggestions and guide the lead into doing what production desires.  TPTB also have a host of employees to subliminally work on their agenda non-stop. 
I don't know if TPTB will utilize the ex, but I think they will utilize Becca's willingness to cooperate and IMO, bend over backwards to please to their advantage.

Lucas15 wrote:

Fangirl26 wrote:@sdmom ugh after reading Becca's sister's comments I'm even more upset at the producers and I'm praying that Becca is as strong as most believe. I just...I feel like I need to add Becca to my prayer list because those producers don't have anyone's best interest at heart and the breakup is still fresh and they will prey on her every vulnerability in the name of good ratings sigh. She will be in a bubble with no one to talk to except them and since they even manage to manipulate strong-willed spitfires like Rachel I'm a little concerned.

ITA with the prayer list part. The sister's comments were eye opening to me but not in a surprising sense - more to the extent if that makes sense. Where the sister and I might disagree is that I am way more suspicious of TPTB and I also don't underestimate them. IMO they know everything there is to know about everybody, so they didn't need the sister to tell them anything - I think they already knew it - and that made it easy to convince the ex to show up because that was his long term pattern.

Where I fear a bit for Becca is that she let this ex go on and on with his BS for 7 years - and whatever it is about her allowed that to happen is now a button they already know about and are likely to exploit for drama.

Just bc Becca’s relationship ended badly with Ross does not mean it was bad for the entire 7 years. She said he was very supportive when her dad died so perhaps there were years in the beginning that were good for both of them. Maybe we will find out more about that relationship during her season. Long distant relationships can pull people apart but the distance may be the reason it continued for as long as it did. It could be absence makes the heart grow fonder especially when you’re not faced with issues daily that may be problems in the relationship. She said on her first date with Arie she did not want to settle. At some point she broke up with Ross, maybe she realized she was settling and ended it.

I fully expect TPTB to manipulate and push buttons but Becca seems mature and has a good head on her shoulders. Having been on the show she has no doubt seen how they operate and I would imagine Arie may have shared his perspective about the experience. She seems strong and resilient especially for having dealt with her dad’s death and her mom’s illness. I’m sure the show will be stressful but Becca to me has the qualities to handle it. All that said, I will pray for her too.

It doesn't sound like to me there was much good in this relationship.

Becca Kufrin: I stand by my decision to not take my ex Ross Jirgl back on 'The Bachelor' -- it was "an unhealthy relationship"
Read more at http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/becca-kufrin-i-stand-by-my-decision-not-take-my-ex-ross-jirgl-back-on-the-bachelor----it-was-an-unhealthy-relationship-23614.php#tV0IPrSYtX6T5bZF.99

"I stand by my decision to not accept an unhealthy relationship back in my life. I will never doubt or question that. #selflovemotherssssss," Becca tweeted after this week's The Bachelor episode.
Read more at http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/becca-kufrin-i-stand-by-my-decision-not-take-my-ex-ross-jirgl-back-on-the-bachelor----it-was-an-unhealthy-relationship-23614.php#tV0IPrSYtX6T5bZF.99

GuardianAngel wrote:It doesn't sound like to me there was much good in this relationship.

Becca Kufrin: I stand by my decision to not take my ex Ross Jirgl back on 'The Bachelor' -- it was "an unhealthy relationship"
Read more at http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/becca-kufrin-i-stand-by-my-decision-not-take-my-ex-ross-jirgl-back-on-the-bachelor----it-was-an-unhealthy-relationship-23614.php#tV0IPrSYtX6T5bZF.99

"I stand by my decision to not accept an unhealthy relationship back in my life. I will never doubt or question that. #selflovemotherssssss," Becca tweeted after this week's The Bachelor episode.
Read more at http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/becca-kufrin-i-stand-by-my-decision-not-take-my-ex-ross-jirgl-back-on-the-bachelor----it-was-an-unhealthy-relationship-23614.php#tV0IPrSYtX6T5bZF.99

I agree the relationship was not healthy for Becca in the end but there was a beginning. Was Ross a jerk on their very first date? I don’t know but probably not. Relationships evolve. The first year with my first husband looked very different than the last.... that’s why he became my ex. My point is there is an assumption that Becca stuck with this awful man for 7 years, maybe it wasn’t awful in the beginning.

Also the very point of toxic relationships is that it's never all bad imo. In a relationship that's on and off as she's said (and we actually don't know how many times they broke up or even how long the breakups would last etc), is that there are good times and because of that, you're willing to overlook or forgive the bad stuff. According to her, he was there for her and got her through the worst time in her life, that sort of thing forms a bond that's very hard to break. It wouldn't surprise me if that was a huge part of the reason the relationship went on for as long as it did. She kept hoping for that guy all the time, the guy who was there for her and comforted her when her world got turned upside down. All Jmo.

The important factor for me is she finally realised he was not the one for her. Sometimes it goes on for years, hoping. She was smart enough to break it off when she did and not let it drag on for more years IMHO. The only good I see in an unhealthy relationship is learning from it.

I just hope they don't use that against her.

As I sit here pondering the "teases" coming from ABC executives that this season will have surprises and may end with just dating instead of a proposal it occurs to me how things about this show are changing; I think the show has truly jumped the shark. IMO for years they have shielded from public view what goes on "behind the curtain" - the manipulations / story boarding and all that go into making it. And yet now they seem to teasing in such a way that they are revealing some of what they have long tried to hide.

Hos is it possible to tease that a show might have never been seen before surprises or how it might end when they haven't even filmed the first episode? Crystal ball? Long Island Medium? Or how about just a story board that was written some time ago? I vote for the story board and am really surprised that they are actually giving us evidence that it even exists let alone what it may contain.

I have made a promise to myself - that when I see weirdness happen, I will not point my finger at the puppet - I will point it at the puppeteer. I don't know if I can keep it but I am going to really try to.

@Lucas15 I too have been keeping an eye on the what I call strange spoilers before filming even has started.

I mentioned yesterday I should create a NO discussion thread so we can plunk all this in there. I too vote storyboard, a bit of this and that from others season's mixed in.

IA IMO the Puppeteer is always to blame!

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. 

Lucas15 wrote:As I sit here pondering the "teases" coming from ABC executives that this season will have surprises and may end with just dating instead of a proposal it occurs to me how things about this show are changing; I think the show has truly jumped the shark. IMO for years they have shielded from public view what goes on "behind the curtain" - the manipulations / story boarding and all that go into making it. And yet now they seem to teasing in such a way that they are revealing some of what they have long tried to hide.

Hos is it possible to tease that a show might have never been seen before surprises or how it might end when they haven't even filmed the first episode? Crystal ball? Long Island Medium? Or how about just a story board that was written some time ago? I vote for the story board and am really surprised that they are actually giving us evidence that it even exists let alone what it may contain.

I have made a promise to myself - that when I see weirdness happen, I will not point my finger at the puppet - I will point it at the puppeteer. I don't know if I can keep it but I am going to really try to.

Lucas, I so agree with pointing at the puppeteer. IMO these guys are experts at manipulation and such. However, the times they are a changing. IMO, Hollywood writ large has had a wake up call with MeToo and similar movements. I think, maybe more hope, that MF and his merry band of manipulators take heed. Especially since this is a Bachelorette season. Pounding on the woman who was left heartbroken is IMO not a good look in any season. And maybe, just maybe not in LaLa Land right now. They got boffo press this season. Maybe they won't want to ruin it by their usual antics. Hey, but what do I know. All JMO.