Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - General Discussion - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

If it really was always the woman's fault, these Bachelors would get married soon after to someone else. And almost all of the ones from the past decade, except for Jason, Sean, and JP, are still unmarried. And even from the years before - Charlie just got married, a decade afterwards when Sarah was begging him to marry her. Bob is on his third marriage. Travis is divorced. Less than half are actually married. It's way too simplistic and sexist to say "it's the woman's fault!" or "it's the man's fault!". I think it's a combination of a lot of factors, including that Bachelors don't prioritize marriage the same way Bachelorettes do, Bachelor have opportunities to sleep with women out of their league afterwards (and that just don't work with the Bachelorettes), Bachelors tends to pick the hottest girl, whereas the Bachelorette pick their best friend, Bachelors get more opportunities like DWTS and HEA, which hurts relationships, and the whole dynamic of the Bachelor goes against normal biology. It was pretty interesting listening to both Lorenzo and Ben F's podcasts with RS and you saw that both basically gave up on their relationships right away after filming, because it was just too much work for too little reward, and I think that's something you just don't see with the Bachelorettes. It doesn't matter if their F1 is cheating or abusing or running away from marriage or whatever. They'll still try their damnest to make it work. IMO

@Aria, ita. More simply or even most simply imo: the Bachelorettes just want it (engagement/relationship) more and are willing to stick it out and make it work. Women rock

There’s lots of factors that go into failed and successful relationships .... just seems the guys get all the blame and the women get a pass because .... well because they’re a girl and can do no wrong .... unless you’re a Courtney ..... and then women will hate you because they represent all the hot girls who took their man

The men don't get enough blame IMO. Ben was a selfish, needy manchild in his relationship with Lauren, Chris never loved Whitney and picked her by default because Becca didn't want him, Nick just wanted to be an actor and was never into Vanessa as much as he was into Andi and Kaitlyn, Josh was emotionally abusive to Andi and let his crazy azz momma get in the way, Juan Pablo never fell in love with Nikki. The men they pick as leads frickin' blow IMO.

with @bluwavz

Maybe it's not so much that the women are more competitive (like men aren't?) but that the female leads are just better at picking with their brains & hearts than the guys. I do believe a big part is that they're ready for a serious relationship and I don't think a lot of the male leads were. I think Ben F picking Courtney was exactly like I said - she was someone who wouldn't have given him a 2nd glance if he weren't TB and if he might have realized that if he didn't have women fawning over him. I still like Ben F even if he was a bad Bachelor but I don't know that he's any closer to getting married than he was on the show. All JMO.

Aria wrote:If it really was always the woman's fault, these Bachelors would get married soon after to someone else. And almost all of the ones from the past decade, except for Jason, Sean, and JP, are still unmarried. And even from the years before - Charlie just got married, a decade afterwards when Sarah was begging him to marry her. Bob is on his third marriage. Travis is divorced. Less than half are actually married. It's way too simplistic and sexist to say "it's the woman's fault!" or "it's the man's fault!". I think it's a combination of a lot of factors, including that Bachelors don't prioritize marriage the same way Bachelorettes do, Bachelor have opportunities to sleep with women out of their league afterwards (and that just don't work with the Bachelorettes), Bachelors tends to pick the hottest girl, whereas the Bachelorette pick their best friend, Bachelors get more opportunities like DWTS and HEA, which hurts relationships, and the whole dynamic of the Bachelor goes against normal biology. It was pretty interesting listening to both Lorenzo and Ben F's podcasts with RS and you saw that both basically gave up on their relationships right away after filming, because it was just too much work for too little reward, and I think that's something you just don't see with the Bachelorettes. It doesn't matter if their F1 is cheating or abusing or running away from marriage or whatever. They'll still try their damnest to make it work.  IMO

Yup. ITA. Well said. I love your posts pretty much all the time.

bluwavz wrote:The men don't get enough blame IMO. Ben was a selfish, needy manchild in his relationship with Lauren, Chris never loved Whitney and picked her by default because Becca didn't want him, Nick just wanted to be an actor and was never into Vanessa as much as he was into Andi and Kaitlyn, Josh was emotionally abusive to Andi and let his crazy azz momma get in the way, Juan Pablo never fell in love with Nikki. The men they pick as leads frickin' blow IMO.

Again, yup. iTA and also pretty much love everything you post!

I found myself being really bored this episode. I don't see the guys having much interest in Becca and like someone said, she seems too friendly and not being her natural self. She seems to want to be everyone's friend and I'm not seeing a romantic side to her yet. All IMO.

Just a random thought as to why so many don’t seem to be enjoying season (it’s my main reason and those I’ve talked to feel the same)

Many don’t dislike Arie as much as Becca and tptb think they do. I get that she was embarrassed.... I truly do ... but the lead chooses his F1 under bizarre circumstances and I can totally comprehend how they could change their mind.

So, from my point of view, every time she disses Arie, it doesn’t have the desired affect of making me like her more and Arie less ... it’s the exact opposite ....

kraft33 wrote:I found myself being really bored this episode. I don't see the guys having much interest in Becca and like someone said, she seems too friendly and not being her natural self. She seems to want to be everyone's friend and I'm not seeing a romantic side to her yet. All IMO.

I think we're not seeing a romantic side to Becca because like so many bachelorettes before her, she was really only interested in one (maybe 2) guys from the beginning. This season reminds me a lot of Jojo's. From night one, I knew there was no way it was anyone but Jordan.

I also don't think that casting did such a good job this time around. Some nice guys, but not necessarily for Becca. JMO.

I don't think Becca disses Arie because she likes to, I think it's part of the story line tptb are putting out there so it's included in date activities, promos, interview questions, etc. I think she'd prefer to never mention his name again. I also think tptb are using all of this insulting material on Arie as a way to deter future leads from making DB types of decisions like Arie did. It's "setting an example" of what to expect if you make similar stupid decisions and potentially hurt the show. All IMO.

Minney wrote:I don't think Becca disses Arie because she likes to, I think it's part of the story line tptb are putting out there so it's included in date activities, promos, interview questions, etc. I think she'd prefer to never mention his name again.  I also think tptb are using all of this insulting material on Arie as a way to deter future leads from making DB types of decisions like Arie did.  It's "setting an example" of what to expect if you make similar stupid decisions and potentially hurt the show.  All IMO.

I do not buy for one second that tptb want to discourage any type of controversial anything from happening on this show ..they thrive on it ...Go out of their way to promote it .. And maneuver the shi!t out of situations to to make it happen