Re: Courtney Dober - Abigail Thomason - Bachelorette AU - Season 2 - Discussion - Fan Forum

[Bobette]

Lily has started writing a blog!

https://www.lilymcmanus.com/home/how-the-hell

I'd copy and paste the text but it would breach just about every forum rule regarding profanities.  






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[stuckinsc]

@Bobette Thank you for posting. I tried to copy it and couldn’t. She and Courtney brighten my day with their IG stories.

[Bobette]

@Bobette Thank you for posting. I tried to copy it and couldn’t. She and Courtney brighten my day with their IG stories.

OK, here's the text; I think this should be OK (I censored it quite heavily)

How the Hell

A story about how I ended up on The Bachelor New Zealand.

I’m sitting in Courtney’s living room with a $3 Target face mask encrusted into my pores. Currently, Courtney is just as crusty on the inside as he is on the outside. The words that fell from his mouth were “get that poop the f**k away from me” but his eyes said "maybe do it”. So I did it, lathered the kid up with a viscous grey goo. Now he’s sitting across the room from me mourning the loss of masculinity that comes with a charcoal face mask. You live and you learn, someone had to break him in.

So where the blistered bleeding b***h did this all start? I was born in Australia, let's clear that up. If somewhere had to claim ownership then I guess I am Australian. Which fits swimmingly between the bread of a verbal sandwich that sounds something like "So you went half way around the world to meet another f**kin' Australian", which fell out of the mouths of my friends and family after returning from my second love cult. I love New Zealand. She caressed my publicly aching heart so gently but she’s not blood, just adoption papers. I've only been a part of her family for over a year. Let me tell you why. This is it, this is how it all started. The first UNO card you pick up from the deck yet you are too drunk to read. I am putting it here so I can send the link to all the LA Uber drivers that ask "so how'd you find yourself here?".

I was living in Australia, working at a coffee shop, spinning almond milk for b***hes who want their almond juice extra hot. Why would anyone even want it extra hot? Do people have to perform foreplay on it for half an hour before that thing becomes drinkable? I don't know about you guys but once my coffee is in my hand I want instant throat penetration. Anyway, different battle that I am not fighting today. So that was that. Then one day at work I got a phone call.

"Hi! Lily?"
"Yeah."
"Hi it's Milly from Warner Brothers New Zealand, how are you?"
"I don't want what you're selling, thank you, goodb-"
"No it's Alex here, we're just calling you back to confirm we'd like to fly you in for an audition"
"I don't know what the f**k you're talking about"
"Lily McManus? We have your application for The Bachelor New Zealand here, we have your photos, videos-"
"NO F***ING WAY " came real deep from the back of my throat.“Twenty dollars says my mum put me up to this. I'm going to have to call you back."
I definitely hung up before I got all of those words into the phone.
I straight up excused myself from work and galloped to the bathroom.
"You b***h"
She was laughing on the other side of the phone, it sounded something like this,
"I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd get in!"

You see, my mother lives in New Zealand. Her idea of a good time is entering her own daughter into a reality TV show she doesn’t understand. Let's be real, I'd do the same if I was bored at home in my mid 50's. Then I’d rock up to yoga with the gals and be like "B***H GUESS WHAT THE **** I DID TO JESSICA" then I'd laugh about it first thing every morning when I woke up.

I remember one time I took my friend’s phone number and put it on Craigslist with an add saying "FREE PUG PUPPIES" and he got booty called at 4am for the free dogs, for months. I can imagine the satisfactory feeling would be similar. Good one mum, I'll pass that gag on like a family heirloom to whatever emerges from of my uterus eventually.

I am disappointed in myself that it's only been a few hundred words and I’ve already got the word “uterus” hangin' here.

Anyway that became my party gag for a while, "I got auditioned to be on The Bachelor New Zealand" that's all the joke needed. Eventually one of my mates was just like "why don't you just like.... do it?" And I was like ".......I….I actually might" and then I called that number back and they were down to have me. You see, my birth giver had filled out the whole application for me and wrote down that I lived in New Zealand. I have lived in New Zealand before for 6 months so the idea wasn’t completely backwards. She sent in all my photos on my behalf. You are supposed to send in an introduction video, which should be some vanilla sorcery like "Hi! My name is Stephanie and I'm really passionate about cats and being gluten free!" and then you'd probably talk some more poop about the fact that you're "looking for love" which really equates to, “I don't know how to masturbate properly and I haven't been laid in 24 weeks”. My mother just sent a video of me at the dinner table, not knowing I was being filmed (anyone else's mum do that? Like, Belinda please I'm not doing anything worth wasting 6gb of phone memory on right now please stop or I'm calling child protection services) just talking a whole heap of s**t across the table to my brother. Let’s be real, chances are I was drunk, probably a whole lot of hand gestures, probably not a lot of warmth.

"Well at least she's.... expressive" said the peroxide blonde bitch sitting behind her Warner Brothers desk, coordinating the casting. I had to say that I lived in New Zealand at the time, even though I was living in Australia temporarily. The real plan was to head back to Canada, where the previous winter I had been working as a snowboard instructor. I just figured I’d pop on by, push a b***h in the pool and go home. I ended up coming in second, that’s runner up on The Bachelor New Zealand.

Now before you go ahead and think "soooooOOoOooo you didn't like him?". Wrong, mostly wrong. My bachelor’s name was Zac Franich. Before I met Zac, my mental expectation of whatever a 'bachelor' was, was a dude that had his own head shoved so far up his own a** he couldn't even say his own name. This man was the exact opposite, the most gentle lump of skin and bone you could possibly imagine. And I'm not just saying that because of the drugs they put in everyone's drink to make EVERYONE fall in love with the same guy regardless of whether or not he hits puppies in his spare time. He is genuinely a great guy and we are still close friends to this day. I had feelings for the man, I just didn't have enough time to comprehend what those feelings were. I wasn't in love, I knew that much. I'd probably spent in total 12 hours with the guy. Those extra 6 extra hours I would have gotten if I said yes to the fantasy sweet wouldn't have done poop. I'm a slow moving reptile, I needed more time in the sun to warm my blood. I wanted Zac to end up with a woman that was so sure, so deeply sure of everything she felt towards him. He deserves that at the very least and I thought that was her, not me.

I pulled him aside off camera and attempted to gently push him in her direction. Well I tried, I'm not sure what kind of verbal waste leaked out of my mouth. All I knew was that I wasn’t sure and everyone deserves sure.

Whatever the lack of sureness came down to, environment, timing, stress, nerves or even that we just weren't the right match as people, we will never know. Today it doesn’t matter. Today I am happy and so is Zac, that's all that matters to me. I was willing to give mine and Zac's relationship a go in the real world but I couldn't promise anything in that time frame, I could have fallen in love with him later down the line, I could have also not. I was honest with him. I never told him anything just because I thought he wanted to hear it. I'm not that breed and he knew it.

So I got sent home and the winner was considered "the safe option" in every low grade, poorly constructed, New Zealand media click bait article bullcrap. The winning couple were quick to be labeled "vanilla" and "boring" whilst I was the chick who somehow managed to get away with saying "douchebag" on New Zealand Television and be shown drinking two beers out of two straws in her introduction video.

I didn't mean for any of this to happen, I never wanted to be where I was. I felt like a lost kid at a grocery store, except that kid was 20 and uses the word "f**k" as a noun. Now looking back at it all, the grocery store is a little better mapped out. Throughout the whole process I was unapologetically myself, which sounds like the title to a Selena Gomez song, but it is true. I never did anything because I thought it was something that I thought people wanted to see. Fortunately my brain just isn't wired that way. Although every episode summary to grace the internet screamed "WHY THE F**K IS LILY SO CHILL" or "Lily MUST be stoned", the bachelor environment is actually mildly stressful. Not like real word stressful, like white people stressful. I think that's where I could see the difference. My childhood was spent with foster children whose own dad would purposely break their arms. Living in Cambodia for a year I saw kids my age sleeping on the side of the road. That's some actual poop to lose your mind about and I knew that. I guess that's why the wild fire always seems like a cigarette burn to me. At the end of the day, what I'm getting at is that some of these girls were extremely uncomfortable with being uncomfortable, which is not an arguable point. Therefore under pressure they felt like they needed to say what they thought might get them validation (or 32k instagram followers). When someone is pretending to be something they're not, it's obvious, it leaks out of them and wets the whole floor. I’d like to think my TV presence was refreshing to some. Either that or people just liked the fact that I asked the bachelor of New Zealand if he eats the skin on the kiwi fruit.

Success is a mess, well in this case anyway. Zac and Viarni, the winning couple, broke up several months after it all ended screening. That's just another hole in life that I'm not going to put my tongue into. I lived in New Zealand for a year after the show. I was getting pitted in the wave of D-list celebrityism, until I got another phone call I didn't expect. I'll ruin more brain cells with that story in the next post.

Until then, look after each other.

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[Norcalgal]

@Bobette She's a frickin' unicorn! Love the blog.
I don't know anything about Lily but her background is so interesting - growing up with foster children in Cambodia? Was a snowboard instructor in Canada? Her blog probably has endless potential for some great stories.

[Bobette]

@Bobette She's a frickin' unicorn! Love the blog.
I don't know anything about Lily but her background is so interesting - growing up with foster children in Cambodia? Was a snowboard instructor in Canada? Her blog probably has endless potential for some great stories.

I agree and her writing style is unique and entertaining so good blog value all round!  Yes I think she had a very interesting childhood, hence the fact that she is (IMO) far more worldy than your average 21 year old.

Not surprised to hear she "had a word of-camera" to the Lead on Bach NZ - she didn't seem overly gutted at the FRC so that explains that.  Hopefully we might get more behind the scenes Bach gossip in future entries.

[notarose]

@Bobette
Great blog. Tks.
Definitely more worldly than the average 21 yr old. Based on this blog entry she has lived in AU, NZ, Cambodia, CA, and now the US. Wow
Hope she writes on a regular basis. Very engaging style.

[GuardianAngel]

@Bobette thanks for posting and editing. She's quite the character. Enjoyable read!

[Bobette]

I can't wait to hear what secrets she's going to reveal about the Winter Games in her next entry. Tell us everything Lily!

[Rolly]

If she’s 21 now how old was she when she did Bach NZ? She is a very mature 21.

[Bobette]

If she’s 21 now how old was she when she did Bach NZ? She is a very mature 21.

She was 20.





It was actually really interesting watching how her edit changed as the Lead became more interested in her because unlike the US and Australian shows, the NZ was edited on the fly, i.e. they were editing the first episodes while the later episodes were still being filmed.

IMO she was initially cast for Comedy Value and for her quirky character, and her edit in the early episodes reflected this, but then as the show went on and it became clear the Lead really liked her, they started showing more of her thoughtful, intelligent side.

I was sure she'd be F1.  The Lead was a former Olympic rower so I think he had probably lived quite a structured / sensible / restrained life to that point, and then whirlwind Lily blew in and he seemed to REALLY like it.  IMO he was very attracted to her.

I was surprised and disappointed when he picked "the other girl" as she seemed quite tame and boring in comparison IMO.  I actually thought she was getting a Bachelorette edit.  Having read Lily's blog, I'm now even more convinced Zac would have chosen her, had she not opted out.

For anyone interested, you can watch her season on this GooglePlus page:
https://plus.google.com/u/0/+BachelorArchive/palette

You first need to request access by going to this page and leaving a comment:
https://plus.google.com/u/0/collection/Iy6sYE

Her archived thread from Bach NZ is here (spoilers for the season, obviously!):
https://www.bachandbachettefans.net/t4070-lily-bachelor-new-zealand-season-3-sleuthing-spoilers

[Bobette]

While all the other couples are crashing and burning like romantic Hindenburgs, Courtney and Lily appear stronger than ever. Lily is modelling and writing, Courtney is modelling, writing, producing... and getting tattoos. They've both settled in LA and seem completely in love. They're planning more travel videos (a video for San Fran is in the pipeline, then it looks like they might be off to Tokyo?) and I wouldn't be surprised if they get their own show. The true winners of the Winter Games to be sure, IMO!



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[stuckinsc]

While all the other couples are crashing and burning like romantic Hindenburgs, Courtney and Lily appear stronger than ever.  Lily is modelling and writing, Courtney is modelling, writing, producing... and getting tattoos.  They've both settled in LA and seem completely in love.  They're planning more travel videos (a video for San Fran is in the pipeline, then it looks like they might be off to Tokyo?) and I wouldn't be surprised if they get their own show.  The true winners of the Winter Games to be sure, IMO!



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Checking out these two on instagram is the highlight of my day.

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