Bachelor 22 - Arie Luyendyk Jr - Episodes - Feb 12th - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

umngirl wrote:

sdmom wrote:@GuardianAngel I wonder if Homa Grace is Lauren’s handler?
Do multiple girls share one handler in the beginning?

Yes, they do. When there are less girls left they each have their own.

Thanks! I know GA was wondering if Megan Firestone is Lauren’s handler, so I am trying to figure that out.

albean99 wrote:Since we're seeing what they want us to see of each date, it's really hard to come to a conclusion on what Arie wanted at this point. It certainly looks like he wanted Lauren but I doubt he was totally in at that point. The edit is certainly pushing Lauren on us right now and maybe downplaying Becca. The question is really what do they want us to believe. It will be interesting to see how the HTDs go and if Lauren will still be a frontrunner.

They should show the emotional tug Arie was in. It would have to be an even keel kinda of situation where Becca slightly edged out Lauren. The viewers who think he's a dufus for hurting Becca might have a better understanding of the dilemma. Because if they choose to show his undying love for Lauren all along, we'll continue to scratch our heads and crucify him.

Perhaps he was unsure of Lauren's answer if he did propose and he didn't want another situation like with Emily where he was dumped at the FRC so he chose the one he *knew* would accept even though his heart was telling him to choose Lauren?

justcallmegranny wrote:Perhaps he was unsure of Lauren's answer if he did propose and he didn't want another situation like with Emily where he was dumped at the FRC so he chose the one he *knew* would accept even though his heart was telling him to choose Lauren?

I also wonder how much family factored in his initial decision. If we are getting an accurate portrayal (what a juxtaposition in Bachelor world) of Arie's visit to Lauren's family that may have given him pause as it's clear family is important to him ("her family might become my family"). I have always believed that Brad 1.0 would have chosen Bettina if it weren't for the poor reception he got from her dad.

2ndcampbell wrote:

albean99 wrote:Since we're seeing what they want us to see of each date, it's really hard to come to a conclusion on what Arie wanted at this point. It certainly looks like he wanted Lauren but I doubt he was totally in at that point. The edit is certainly pushing Lauren on us right now and maybe downplaying Becca. The question is really what do they want us to believe. It will be interesting to see how the HTDs go and if Lauren will still be a frontrunner.

They should show the emotional tug Arie was in. It would have to be an even keel kinda of situation where Becca slightly edged out Lauren. The viewers who think he's a dufus for hurting Becca might have a better understanding of the dilemma. Because if they choose to show his undying love for Lauren all along, we'll continue to scratch our heads and crucify him.

They are clearly laying it out, the things he's saying, "he doesn't want to make a mistake by picking the wrong person(several times), his concern about Lauren not opening up, Jacqueline leaving and his ILY to Lauren.

docnash14 wrote:I also wonder how much family factored in his initial decision.  If we are getting an accurate portrayal (what a juxtaposition in Bachelor world) of Arie's visit to Lauren's family that may have given him pause as it's clear family is important to him ("her family might become my family").  I have always believed that Brad 1.0 would have chosen Bettina if it weren't for the poor reception he got from her dad.

I also felt that way - especially since she sided with her parents on that date.

IMO, HTD are perhaps the most critical / potential pivotal dates of the season. You never know what's going to happen and a bad experience on a HTD can crush a new relationship. Likewise a great experience can vault a relationship that was previously "meh". I can understand why Arie could have wanted 5 HTD instead of 4 - he wanted time and he wanted options, IMO. While the episode preview seems to paint a picture that he got grilled pretty well on several HTDs.

I really wonder if the HTD with Lauren didn't go well and that could have been a driving force behind his decision to pick Becca. That would provide a reason for filming what appears to be a reunion between them at her parents house - whatever might have gone wrong had to be made right.

Lucas15 wrote:

docnash14 wrote:I also wonder how much family factored in his initial decision.  If we are getting an accurate portrayal (what a juxtaposition in Bachelor world) of Arie's visit to Lauren's family that may have given him pause as it's clear family is important to him ("her family might become my family").  I have always believed that Brad 1.0 would have chosen Bettina if it weren't for the poor reception he got from her dad.

I also felt that way - especially since she sided with her parents on that date.

IMO, HTD are perhaps the most critical / potential pivotal dates of the season. You never know what's going to happen and a bad experience on a HTD can crush a new relationship. Likewise a great experience can vault a relationship that was previously "meh". I can understand why Arie could have wanted 5 HTD instead of 4 - he wanted time and he wanted options, IMO. While the episode preview seems to paint a picture that he got grilled pretty well on several HTDs.

I really wonder if the HTD with Lauren didn't go well and that could have been a driving force behind his decision to pick Becca. That would provide a reason for filming what appears to be a reunion between them at her parents house - whatever might have gone wrong had to be made right.

This actually makes sense to me. With Lauren's Dad saying he will kill Arie makes me think her Dad was more than skeptical about Arie/the process. Something has to go terribly wrong between now and the FRC.

Mommyof2 wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:

docnash14 wrote:I also wonder how much family factored in his initial decision.  If we are getting an accurate portrayal (what a juxtaposition in Bachelor world) of Arie's visit to Lauren's family that may have given him pause as it's clear family is important to him ("her family might become my family").  I have always believed that Brad 1.0 would have chosen Bettina if it weren't for the poor reception he got from her dad.

I also felt that way - especially since she sided with her parents on that date.

IMO, HTD are perhaps the most critical / potential pivotal dates of the season. You never know what's going to happen and a bad experience on a HTD can crush a new relationship. Likewise a great experience can vault a relationship that was previously "meh". I can understand why Arie could have wanted 5 HTD instead of 4 - he wanted time and he wanted options, IMO. While the episode preview seems to paint a picture that he got grilled pretty well on several HTDs.

I really wonder if the HTD with Lauren didn't go well and that could have been a driving force behind his decision to pick Becca. That would provide a reason for filming what appears to be a reunion between them at her parents house - whatever might have gone wrong had to be made right.

This actually makes sense to me.  With Lauren's Dad saying he will kill Arie makes me think her Dad was more than skeptical about Arie/the process.  Something has to go terribly wrong between now and the FRC.  

None of this excuses Arie. Again Brad 1.0 refused to use Jenni or DeAnna to give the fake happy ending.

Arie still decided to commit to dating Becca exclusively while thinking more about Lauren. Arie should have been man enough to ask for more time, take a chance on the one he really wanted or not chosen at all.

All of these excuses make me like Arie even less. JMO.

stuckinsc wrote:

Mommyof2 wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:

I also felt that way - especially since she sided with her parents on that date.

IMO, HTD are perhaps the most critical / potential pivotal dates of the season. You never know what's going to happen and a bad experience on a HTD can crush a new relationship. Likewise a great experience can vault a relationship that was previously "meh". I can understand why Arie could have wanted 5 HTD instead of 4 - he wanted time and he wanted options, IMO. While the episode preview seems to paint a picture that he got grilled pretty well on several HTDs.

I really wonder if the HTD with Lauren didn't go well and that could have been a driving force behind his decision to pick Becca. That would provide a reason for filming what appears to be a reunion between them at her parents house - whatever might have gone wrong had to be made right.

This actually makes sense to me.  With Lauren's Dad saying he will kill Arie makes me think her Dad was more than skeptical about Arie/the process.  Something has to go terribly wrong between now and the FRC.  

None of this excuses Arie. Again Brad 1.0 refused to use Jenni or DeAnna to give the fake happy ending.

Arie still decided to commit to dating Becca exclusively while thinking more about Lauren. Arie should have been man enough to ask for more time, take a chance on the one he really wanted or not chosen at all.

All of these excuses make me like Arie even less. JMO.

I agree that ultimately only Arie is responsible for his actions/decisions. However, I don't think we have enough information to know unequivocally what he did or did not do and, hence, I am going to reserve judgment. Further, I think it's difficult to understand the decision making process in this type of environment - the producer manipulation, the sleep deprivation described by the majority of leads, the strategy that many of the leads adopt in compartmentalizing the different relationships - all increase the likelihood of decision making impairment. But that said and back to your point, as I say to my clients, I think it's important to understand the reason for our and others behavior as long as we don't use it as an excuse which can only lead to disempowerment. Conversely, understanding the reason can foster compassion and forgiveness.

@docnash14  Nicely put.  I love this statement, just love it and believe it:

it's important to understand the reason for our and others behavior as long as we don't use it as an excuse which can only lead to disempowerment. Conversely, understanding the reason can foster compassion and forgiveness.

@docnash14 I totally agree. I find myself more interested in why some of these contestants behave the way they do. In this case I don't know all the details, but it is interesting to speculate.

Episode 6 but these guys are proud members of BN