Bachelor 22 - Arie Luyendyk Jr - SM Media - *Sleuthing Spoilers* - #3

Idlemess wrote:I've been an Arie fan since day 1 and remain a fan today. Why? There's something about him that seems endearing and that's it. I've never fangirl any celebrity or pseudo celebrity because no one should be placed above another. I like who I like but it's never an endorsement of bad behavior, stupid decisions or a lack of moral consciousness.
IMO, it's human nature to like who we like because of life's experiences and preferences because of idealism or fantasies.
Are our judgement and criticism clouded by favoritism? Again we like who we like.
I've learned how to remove my feelings from this show and just comment on what is shown. I think it's never really fair to be absolute about anyone on these shows because 1. They're virtual stranger 2. Don't know who they "really" are; just a microcosm of captured moments in time. 3. Oh, their social media definitely predict who they are 4. Matchmakers vs. matchmakers; they look so good together or just perfect for each other, won't be good because of age, lifestyles, etc. so forth and so on.

My husband often jokes that if Ted Bundy was the Bachelor,  he will have tons of fans because of his charming and charismatic nature. He would probably admit to Chris Harrison, that he likes his women chopped  or skewered, but fans will still remain fans.    Some of us will always want to defend what we like.   I guess that's human nature.

The last time I posted here I was clueless why he was still one of the more well liked  bachelor after the ex girlfriend Sidney revealed that she was blindsided  by his bachelor announcement.  http://www.etonline.com/exclusive-arie-luyendyk-jrs-ex-girlfriend-says-she-was-blindsided-bachelor-casting-their-breakup.  Truthfully,  my heart sank that a lot of  the posters would accuse the ex girlfriend as 'a f*k buddy out for her 5 seconds of fame' and that they will be proud to introduce him to their daughters, despite this tidbit. I stopped to think if we, bachelor fans have become unwitting enablers for these men. More often than not, patterns do not lie. It's so unfair for that girl Sydney to be judged harshly by the fans.   I mean Becca, has a way quicker non substantial 'relationship' with Arie but she will gain more sympathy than Sydney will ever have.   I still cannot believe the hold this man has to some bachelor fans, which really boggles my mind. Until now.  

Now I'm wondering if we have all the facts about what really happened.  It's just unbelievable that this man as old as he is will have the gall to do this on national television with  so many people predicting and wagering that he's gonna do exactly what he did (if the switcheroo indeed happened).   Well  I guess an old leopard will never change its spots.

(All IMO of course. )

sdmom wrote:snip ...

I brought her photo here because I want to piece the puzzles together. I want to know and try to uncover clues of this switchroo. I want to sleuth rather than making rush judgments. That’s why I am here for, and I hope all have fun posting (within the rules, of course!)

All Jmo.

As posted above, a simple like seems insufficient. IMO things happen for a reason and while we appear to know what happened, I don't believe any of us knows why. I also want to uncover the reasons behind this - at least as best we can.

Ji

charriotoffire wrote:

Idlemess wrote:I've been an Arie fan since day 1 and remain a fan today. Why? There's something about him that seems endearing and that's it. I've never fangirl any celebrity or pseudo celebrity because no one should be placed above another. I like who I like but it's never an endorsement of bad behavior, stupid decisions or a lack of moral consciousness.
IMO, it's human nature to like who we like because of life's experiences and preferences because of idealism or fantasies.
Are our judgement and criticism clouded by favoritism? Again we like who we like.
I've learned how to remove my feelings from this show and just comment on what is shown. I think it's never really fair to be absolute about anyone on these shows because 1. They're virtual stranger 2. Don't know who they "really" are; just a microcosm of captured moments in time. 3. Oh, their social media definitely predict who they are 4. Matchmakers vs. matchmakers; they look so good together or just perfect for each other, won't be good because of age, lifestyles, etc. so forth and so on.

My husband often jokes that if Ted Bundy was the Bachelor,  he will have tons of fans because of his charming and charismatic nature. He would probably admit to Chris Harrison, that he likes his women chopped  or skewered, but fans will still remain fans.    Some of us will always want to defend what we like.   I guess that's human nature.

The last time I posted here I was clueless why he was still one of the more well liked  bachelor after the ex girlfriend Sidney revealed that she was blindsided  by his bachelor announcement.  http://www.etonline.com/exclusive-arie-luyendyk-jrs-ex-girlfriend-says-she-was-blindsided-bachelor-casting-their-breakup.  Truthfully,  my heart sank that a lot of  the posters would accuse the ex girlfriend as 'a f*k buddy out for her 5 seconds of fame' and that they will be proud to introduce him to their daughters, despite this tidbit. I stopped to think if we, bachelor fans have become unwitting  enablers for these men.  More often than not, patterns do not lie. It's so unfair for that girl Sydney to be judged harshly by the fans.     I mean Becca, has a way quicker non substantial 'relationship' with Arie but she will gain more sympathy than  Sydney will ever have.   I still cannot believe the hold this man has to some bachelor fans, which really boggles my mind. Until now.  

Now I'm wondering if we have all the facts about what really happened.  It's just unbelievable that this man as old as he is will have the gall to do this on national television with  so many people predicting and wagering that he's gonna do exactly what he did (if the switcheroo indeed happened).   Well  I guess an old leopard will never change its spots.

(All IMO of course. )

Arie and Sidney broke up months before he became the Bachelor.  I am not making excuses for Arie but I am not sure she was owed much heads up.  This all happened quickly and after they were done,  yes it wouhsbe been nice but not required.  IMO.

ETA:  if they continued to hook up after he dumped her that is on her as well.  I have had ex’s try to come back for more but they quickly learn that is a no go with me.

Yeah, I take full responsibility for ignoring the tweets from exes suggesting he was sketchy, but Arie broke up with her on July 31st. There is no way he was even in Bachelor negotiations at that point, because Peter was thought to be a done deal at that point. Sydney even showed text messages that showed that the breakup was caused because of a fight over Courtney and Arie lying about hanging out with her. And Sydney has always said that they never hooked up afterwards - Arie contacted her to make sure that she didn't go to the tabloids to bad-mouth him. She has alluded to Arie cheating on her and girls contacting her to tell her after he was announced, but for whatever reason, she has never gone into detail into it or provided proof. Sydney being blindsided by the announcement doesn't trouble me, because Arie didn't tell his own parents about it until he was on GMA.  Of course he wasn't going to tell an ex. Arie is a sketchy guy, but I don't think it's fair for past events to be twisted to fit that narrative. IMO.


Also, I think it's debatatable whether Becca or Sydney had a more substantial relationship with him. At the end of the day, Arie never even said ILY to Sydney, never made any commitments to her, never posted pictures of her on his IG, and didn't take her to his brother's wedding. Not victim-blaming, but he was making it clear through his actions that he wasn't serious about her. With Becca, on the other hand, he said ILY and proposed. She had been given a very clear indication that he was committed to her. Maybe she didn't expect 100% they would get married, but she likely expected him to give it a solid try. That's more of a blindside to me. IMO.

Aria wrote:Also, I think it's debatable whether Becca or Sydney had a more substantial relationship with him. At the end of the day, Arie never even said ILY to Sydney, never made any commitments to her, never posted pictures of her on his IG, and didn't take her to his brother's wedding. Not victim-blaming, but he was making it clear through his actions that he wasn't serious about her. With Becca, on the other hand, he said ILY and proposed. She had been given a very clear indication that he was committed to her. Maybe she didn't expect 100% they would get married, but she likely expected him to give it a solid try. That's more of a blindside to me. IMO.

IIRC Sydney also said that she never said ILY to Arie. IMO she thought he was exclusive and that theirs was a long term relationship but perhaps none of this was discussed - it was just an assumption on Sydney's point - as this article suggests "the relationship blossomed into something Stempfley is confident was monogamous and serious". Quite an assumption on her part if this was never discussed. And if this article is accurate, Sydney applied to be on the show post breakup and before knowing that Arie would be the lead.

IMO - Becca did have more reasons to believe in a substantial relationship than Sydney ever did (assuming that a proposal at the end of the season on this show has much substance).

Well @ariejr I think this is a compliment to you...you are me but actually have things you are good at #congratulations #Hobbies https://t.co/sHYlkXRAbu

— Benjamin Higgins (@benhiggi) January 23, 2018

Aria wrote:Yeah, I take full responsibility for ignoring the tweets from exes suggesting he was sketchy, but Arie broke up with her on July 31st. There is no way he was even in Bachelor negotiations at that point, because Peter was thought to be a done deal at that point. Sydney even showed text messages that showed that the breakup was caused because of a fight over Courtney and Arie lying about hanging out with her. And Sydney has always said that they never hooked up afterwards - Arie contacted her to make sure that she didn't go to the tabloids to bad-mouth him. She has alluded to Arie cheating on her and girls contacting her to tell her after he was announced, but for whatever reason, she has never gone into detail into it or provided proof. Sydney being blindsided by the announcement doesn't trouble me, because Arie didn't tell his own parents about it until he was on GMA.  Of course he wasn't going to tell an ex. Arie is a sketchy guy, but I don't think it's fair for past events to be twisted to fit that narrative. IMO.


Also, I think it's debatatable whether Becca or Sydney had a more substantial relationship with him. At the end of the day, Arie never even said ILY to Sydney, never made any commitments to her, never posted pictures of her on his IG, and didn't take her to his brother's wedding. Not victim-blaming, but he was making it clear through his actions that he wasn't serious about her. With Becca, on the other hand, he said ILY and proposed. She had been given a very clear indication that he was committed to her. Maybe she didn't expect 100% they would get married, but she likely expected him to give it a solid try. That's more of a blindside to me. IMO.

That's my complaint. If you are going to propose to a woman, and then call it off less than two months later, then what was the point? That he didn't know his own mind? He's not some young man, he's 36 years old. If he doesn't know his own mind now, then when will he?

Arie had a really great group of quality women, one of the best groups that I've seen in a long time. They are gorgeous! Most of them are well educated, ambitious, and accomplished women. They are not women that should be trifled with. Instead he seems to be mowing through them like he is at some speed dating event at a singles bar.

I'm not going to bad mouth Lauren at this point, because I don't know enough about her or about the situation. Maybe she is buying what he is selling. If I were in her shoes, I'd be very, very wary. I wouldn't make any major changes to my life based on what he is saying. He just doesn't have any credibility at present.

The exes do bring his pattern and MO to light. They sing in unison yet haven’t collaborated . I too am curious to see if Arie used similar tactics with Becca like blindsiding her or sneaking around using his prowess of SM. Regarding the exes, when everything unfolds AFR, Becca could very well be treated or shaded like one of his other Exes, as if something was wrong with her. When anyone does a Mesnick , is it out of the norm to question the other person ? Similar to saying he switched because he followed his heart, she was the safe choice  or maybe Becca was just good on paper.  That’s not a given either, yet it’s stated without known facts. That’s why it’s an opinion . I put the two papers together on both girls and Lauren is the better choice for Arie on paper and could have been the safe choice  imo.   Because this news was exposed early in the season vs Mesnick 1.0, is it wrong to analyze how and when even with limited details ? I watched Lauren’s last convo with Arie from the last episode. She knew that Arie wanted someone with a flexible schedule . I stated yesterday that imo, Lauren seemed the most fluid in that department . Regardless, for whatever reason, Arie didn’t initially pick Lauren and therein lies the crux of our analyzations . When everything unfolds, I think he has a chance with Lauren , if his actions match his words . But it’s on him . Jmo

Credit: @Chris Harrison]

chrisbharrison  Time to hit the road for another dramatic episode of #TheBachelor #planestrainsandautomobiles

Lucas15 wrote:
Snipped...
this article suggests "the relationship blossomed into something Stempfley is confident was monogamous and serious".

IMO - Becca did have more reasons to believe in a substantial relationship than Sydney ever did (assuming that a proposal at the end of the season on this show has much substance).

I've watched this show for many years and sleuthed liked crazy pre-RS simply because it was entertaining. I never stalk follow the contestants in real life and try to establish a "friendship" with them by being their super fan on SM. That allows me to remain uninvested, enjoy the show and most of all, enjoy the fun here.

Luyendyk's ladies - former and allegedly current - are diverse and interesting to me, to some degree. I don't victim shame (Sydney) or sl** Shame (Courtney). That said, Sydney posted an IG 10/2/16 holding a rose with Arie tagged and the caption "safe for another week". She then applied to be on the Bach when they ended their date-ship. Seems she likes Bach nation attention IMHO.

I like what I've seen of Becca, but not sure why she would expect her reality tv proposal to have much substance post-show. We're always reminded that Saint Seanie is the only Bach in history to make it to the altar with his F1. The odds are not in favor of any Bach couple, IMHO.

Also IMO real life Lauren can't be dismissed as a Stepford Wife. She attended medical school for a year before changing colleges and her degree path to psychology. She is bi-lingual, worked as an EMT for three years and also served as a home health aid to a special needs child for nearly 5 years. Lots of recorded philanthropy service as well. Sad that some viewers create an untrue narrative about her before the story unfolds and while she can't defend herself IMO.

FLChica wrote:I've watched this show for many years and sleuthed liked crazy pre-RS simply because it was entertaining. I never stalk follow the contestants in real life and try to establish a "friendship" with them by being their super fan on SM. That allows me to remain uninvested, enjoy the show and most of all, enjoy the fun here.

Luyendyk's ladies - former and allegedly current - are diverse and interesting to me, to some degree. I don't victim shame (Sydney) or sl** Shame (Courtney). That said, Sydney posted an IG 10/2/16 holding a rose with Arie tagged and the caption "safe for another week". She then applied to be on the Bach when they ended their date-ship. Seems she likes Bach nation attention IMHO.

I like what I've seen of Becca, but not sure why she would expect her reality tv proposal to have much substance post-show. We're always reminded that Saint Seanie is the only Bach in history to make it to the altar with his F1. The odds are not in favor of any Bach couple, IMHO.

Also IMO real life Lauren can't be dismissed as a Stepford Wife. She attended medical school for a year before changing colleges and her degree path to psychology. She is bi-lingual, worked as an EMT for three years and also served as a home health aid to a special needs child for nearly 5 years. Lots of recorded philanthropy service as well. Sad that some viewers create an untrue narrative about her before the story unfolds and while she can't defend herself IMO.

"Medical school" to me implies that you already have your bachelor's degree and are in school for four additional years to get your M.D. (although I've heard of some combined programs that are, I believe, six years.) So by "medical school" I have to wonder if they are referring to her EMT training, which likely happened at a community college. No shade on her, but I'm just wondering at the term which to me may be inaccurate.

So a better resume might be that she got her health care aide certification, followed it up with an EMT certification, and finally got a bachelor's degree in psychology. Still a very decent resume, but IMO, probably not "medical school."

Contrast that with Tia who really does have a doctorate which included three years of graduate level work beyond her bachelor's degree. She's a very smart cookie!

FLChica wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:
Snipped...
this article suggests "the relationship blossomed into something Stempfley is confident was monogamous and serious".

IMO - Becca did have more reasons to believe in a substantial relationship than Sydney ever did (assuming that a proposal at the end of the season on this show has much substance).

I've watched this show for many years and sleuthed liked crazy pre-RS simply because it was entertaining. I never stalk follow the contestants in real life and try to establish a "friendship" with them by being their super fan on SM. That allows me to remain uninvested, enjoy the show and most of all, enjoy the fun here.

Luyendyk's ladies - former and allegedly current - are diverse and interesting to me, to some degree. I don't victim shame (Sydney) or sl** Shame (Courtney). That said, Sydney posted an IG 10/2/16 holding a rose with Arie tagged and the caption "safe for another week". She then applied to be on the Bach when they ended their date-ship. Seems she likes Bach nation attention IMHO.

I like what I've seen of Becca, but not sure why she would expect her reality tv proposal to have much substance post-show. We're always reminded that Saint Seanie is the only Bach in history to make it to the altar with his F1. The odds are not in favor of any Bach couple, IMHO.

Also IMO real life Lauren can't be dismissed as a Stepford Wife. She attended medical school for a year before changing colleges and her degree path to psychology. She is bi-lingual, worked as an EMT for three years and also served as a home health aid to a special needs child for nearly 5 years. Lots of recorded philanthropy service as well. Sad that some viewers create an untrue narrative about her before the story unfolds and while she can't defend herself IMO.

Thank you. I like your post. 
Here is her Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/laureneburnham.

She's done a lot of admirable volunteer work in her past. 
She attended Central Washington University from 2010-2011 for pre-med studies.

She attended Old Dominion University and received her Bachelor of Science (B.S.), Psychology from 2011-2015.  From 2013-2016 she also worked as an EMT. She's been a busy lady with internships and jobs.