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The Bachelor: Chris Harrison blogs week 8

CHRIS HARRISON February 19, 2018 AT 10:00 PM EST

Every week, Bachelor host and executive producer Chris Harrison is giving EW his behind-the-scenes take on the latest episode.

Welcome back, Bachelor Nation. There is pretty much nothing more fear-inducing for a Bachelor than finally making it to hometown dates. Of course it’s remarkably exciting to get the opportunity to see where the women come from, but it’s also really terrifying to have to face their families as a man who is still dating three other women and convince them that you’re not just a total heel. And I really do have to give it to the families here, as across the board they were not afraid to ask hard questions and really try to get to the bottom of who Arie really is. And I also have to hand it to Arie this week, who never got defensive and never shied away from answering the tough questions.

I think in some ways Arie’s date with Kendall was one of the most bizarre hometown activities we’ve ever seen, but in some ways it was very much “them.” Kendall is right in acknowledging that because their relationship started a little bit slower, it’s worthwhile to just keep trying to jump in with both feet. If a man can’t grab a mouse-skin and stuff it full of cotton for you, is he really the right guy? Or something like that. It was also great to meet Kendall’s twin and her parents, who I think gave Arie some really good insight into who she is.

Tia’s family was about as straightforward as they come. They were not abut to let Tia get caught up with a guy they didn’t trust, but I really think Arie’s ability and desire to answer their questions really brought them over to his side. One thing that I noticed and appreciated this season is that all of the families, while expressing their concerns, also seemed to really want to defer to the women’s decision making rather than try to be overly prescriptive. They explained their feelings, they asked their questions, and then they let their daughter or sister or niece take the wheel. I think that makes a lot of sense and speaks to the character of all of these women and their families.

Arie’s date with Becca was really sweet and I thought it was really wonderful to see Uncle Gary step in on behalf of Becca’s father. Becca’s dad was clearly so beloved in that family, and it feels like he is with all of them in spirit at all times. You could feel the mood in the room shift when Arie finally got a chance to talk to Becca’s mother, and I think Arie really let her know just exactly how much Becca was focused on her family and her family’s happiness. This family wasn’t easy to win over (and there’s no reason they should be), but at the end of the day I think they felt as good as they could feel, given the situation.

Finally, Arie had his date with Lauren, and as you could see, it was a little different from the others. For some reason, Arie seemed the most nervous about this date. Maybe it was for the same reason he seemed so shaken on his last date with Lauren. Arie has had a hard time this season quantifying his relationship with Lauren (not that there’s anything wrong with that!), and I think he knew it was going to be tough to try to explain that to some appropriately skeptical family members. Arie’s relationship with Lauren is clearly different from the others and it will be interesting to see how that plays out in the coming weeks.

It was terrible to see Tia go home. She was so blindsided, as anyone would be, but we’ll get to hear more from her this coming Sunday at the Women Tell All. You’ll also get to hear from Bekah M., Seinne, and Krystal! It’s gonna be a wild one. Then, on Monday, the romantic overnight dates take us to the magical land of Ica, Peru! And don’t forget to catch one of the last episodes of The Bachelor Winter Games tomorrow night! See you then, Bachelor Nation!

Arie Luyendyk Jr. Reveals Why He Said Goodbye to Tia After Bachelor Hometowns

Arie Luyendyk Jr. vied for Emily Maynard‘s heart on season 8 of  The Bachelorette. Now, he’s on his own journey to find love on the latest season of The Bachelor — and he’s blogging about it exclusively for PEOPLE! Follow Arie on Twitter at @ariejr.

As we flew back to the U.S., it finally sunk in that we were about to start going to the women’s hometowns. I was about to have one of the biggest weeks of my life. I know I said that last week too (and probably the week before), but it was honestly true about most of my weeks on The Bachelor. Each week offered a new, exciting, and important chapter in my journey to find love and a fiancée. As someone who hadn’t been in love or considered marriage for five years, this was all that mattered.

My week in Italy was difficult, and the wounds from saying hard goodbyes were still fresh. Still, I knew I needed to go into this week with an open heart and an open mind. When I started on The Bachelor, I thought that by this point I would have a clear picture of who I’d want to propose to. But here I was, on a long international flight, watching Cars 3, having very real feelings for four very different, very incredible women. For all of them, I still had so many questions. Could Kendall and I make up for lost time, having connected later than the rest? Could Becca and I maintain our recently rekindled passion? Would Lauren and I figure out why we felt so strongly for one another? Tia and I have so much fun, but did we work as a couple?

I knew that soon, I’d be sitting in the homes of four families, trying to convince them of so much. They’d probably have questions about my character, my past, and about whether or not any of this was real. Initially, my family was so skeptical when I was on The Bachelorette. They didn’t believe in the journey or that someone could actually find love on a TV show. It wasn’t until they saw the way Emily and I looked at each other that they realized how real it all was and how in love we were. I hoped that a similar thing would happen when I met the families this week. It would be my only time meeting the families before a proposal, so the pressure was on to make a great impression.

First up, I headed to Los Angeles to see Kendall. I can whole-heartedly say that I have never dated anyone like Kendall before. That’s one of the great parts of being the Bachelor: you meet women who are so different from the people you usually date. Kendall is quirky, intelligent, fun, and definitely the only woman in the world who’d take me on a date to her taxidermy studio. This was actually an unexpectedly nice aspect of this leg — taking a break from being in charge. Leading all the dates is really fun, but you can learn so much about someone by what date they choose and how they lead it.

Just like Kendall, the studio was surprising, weird, and wonderful. I think for the first 10 minutes I just walked around, mouth agape, saying that’s so crazy — and  that was before she showed me the rats. It takes a really special woman to get me to re-enact scenes from our relationship with stuffed dead animals, but that’s Kendall. She’s sexy and fun even when stuffing dead rats. Playing with our Arie and Kendall rats in front of the diorama of our first date in Paris was too weird and surptrisingly fun.

Before we talked to her parents, I wanted to get some time to chat with Kendall about where we were in our relationship. Compared to the other remaining women, we had a bit of a late start. This was actually our first one-on-one. Because of this, it was important for me to tell her that I was falling for her. For me, our relationship had blossomed far beyond our extreme physical chemistry and into something more.

Walking into Kendall’s house was totally surreal. Her screaming family, so excited to see her, was very cute. It was slightly less cute when they started grilling me, though. I understood and expected Kylie and Bob’s concerns about Kendall’s readiness, as I had the same concern. One thing I did not expect was for Kylie to be a body language expert.  Honestly, I felt we were sitting farther apart because of the seating arrangement more than our emotional closeness. I knew I’d have to ask all the families for their blessing because this would be our one time to chat before a possible engagement. When Bob brought this up before I even could and told me that he wouldn’t be able to give his blessing, my heart sunk. I was really thankful that by the end of our conversation he said he’d support Kendall if she were to get engaged.

At the end of a very fun but very stressful night, it felt great to hear that Kendall was falling for me too. It was easy to question our connection or whether we were far enough along, but it was even easier to recognize how good we made each other feel. Both of us grew so much from our relationship. She made me more open and fun, I made her more vulnerable and communicative. It was scary, but I was so excited to see where it could go.

Up next, we were headed to the small town of Weiner, Arkansas. I had been hearing about Weiner since the moment Tia walked out of the limo and made the wiener joke that everyone got except me (still embarrassed, everyone!). Because of racing, I’m used to being in small towns, and Weiner did not disappoint.

Tia planned such an amazing date. She somehow managed to find one of the only kinds of cars I’ve never raced. It was totally awesome racing around the track and even though Tia had some trouble, she was an amazing sport. That’s what’s so great about Tia, even when things go poorly she’s so cool and hilarious. I will always appreciated that she planned something I’d love on her home turf.

Tia’s family was exactly what I expected. They were so full of life and full of love. Just as Tia said, her brother, Jason, and dad, Kenny, were really hard on me. Apparently, they read all the rumors on the Internet before the arrival and had so many questions about my character and my intentions. As much as this was awkward and uncomfortable, I totally get it.  Tia is their family and they want to make sure she’s in a relationship with a genuine guy, not the “playboy” they read about on the Internet.  I know Tia had been hurt in the past by bad guys, and I assured them I wasn’t one of those guys. By the end, we all got along, even though multiple members of her family threatened to find me if I ever hurt their Tia.

As we ended the night swinging on the porch, Tia reiterated that she was still falling in love with me. My heart was full to see such an amazing, sincere, beautiful woman feel so strongly for me. I felt really good about where we were and started to realize just how hard my decision would be at the end of the week.

It was time to head to Minneapolis, Minnesota, to see Becca K. Becca was my first date and the first woman who made me feel hopeful I would find a wife here. She was beautiful, smart, kind, and poised and I knew she’d make such a good wife and mother. After we rekindled the passionate side of our relationship in Italy, I felt like we were ready to see if we could finally take the next steps.

Becca K.’s date was so meaningful and fun. Going to the apple orchard she went to with her dad as a kid was poignant and I felt good knowing she was able to share that experience with me. That day was so cold, but so beautiful. I probably ate some of the best apples I’ve ever had (they were so crisp and juicy). It didn’t matter whether we were etching our initials into a tree, shooting apples at targets, or making caramel apples, because the whole day was a blast. One part you didn’t see was Becca teaching me salsa dancing while we tried to warm up in a tent.

When we walked into Becca’s house, the place almost exploded with all the energy and all the love. I always knew Becca was very family oriented and I had heard her regale me with stories of her famous Uncle Gary. At the beginning of the meal, the family gave us hilarious gifts, making fun of everything from the show itself to the fantasy suites. They even wrote an epic poem to commemorate the occasion. The together family time was a blast, with everyone telling stories, and Grandpa Clyde enjoying the family’s famous split pea soup.

My conversations with Becca’s family were some of the more intense conversations I had that week. Uncle Gary had just as big of a personality as Becca described. As Becca’s second father, he was amazingly caring and equally protective. Our candid conversation about love, life, and my relationship with Becca was one of the best conversations I’d had in a while.  It was obvious how much he loved her and any hesitation about me was just about how much he loved her. Becca’s family overall was one of the more skeptical, but by the end I felt even Jill had warmed to me. She didn’t officially give her blessing for an engagement at first, but she did eventually say that if we promised to have a long engagement she could offer her support. I left Minneapolis feeling really good about where Becca and I were. We were falling deeply for one another and I learned so much about her by seeing her with her family.

Last of the week was Lauren’s hometown. Headed into Virginia, I was so excited to see Lauren. Last time I saw her, we said we were falling in love with each other.  This was heartening but also surprising. I still didn’t quite know where these feelings were coming from. I was feeling love toward Lauren, but I could not exactly tell you why. As soon as I saw Lauren on that beach, all of my fears and anxieties melted away. Even if I couldn’t tell you why, my feelings were real and I wanted to try and enjoy them.

Before being on The Bachelor, I was pretty scared of horses. Thanks to this date and Bekah M.’s date in Tahoe, I can safely say I am now an expert. Lauren and I had a great day, deepening our connection, but meeting her family definitely loomed over my head. All I knew was that her dad was a military man and that I should expect him to be very tough. The last guy they met was her former fiancé and they were going to be very hard on any new man in Lauren’s life.

My time with Lauren’s family started exactly how I imagined. The tension was high and the silences were long. At the time, it felt awkward and nerve-racking (especially given how much I cared about Lauren), but now I realize it was all coming from a place of love. They were worried about this strange man entering Lauren’s life and felt it was their job to be her protector. Honestly, I expected my time with Lauren’s dad to be the hardest, but her mom and aunt were way harder on me. When I asked her mom if she’d give her blessing on an engagement, she eventually said she’d trust Lauren in whatever decision she were to make, but did not give her blessing easily.

Leaving Virginia, I really didn’t know what I was going to do. It was my last rose ceremony as The Bachelor and I had four women who I could imagine marrying. After a night of not sleeping and a fully day of deliberation, I put on my suit with no more clarity than I had before the week began. I had such amazing times with all the women and their families and my feelings were growing for each woman in significant ways.

I stood there, looking out at them and truly didn’t know what to do next. That’s why I needed to pull Kendall. My feelings for her were so strong, but I still had no idea if she was ready for marriage. My biggest fear was that at the end of this I’d choose someone who wasn’t ready or who didn’t choose me back. At this point in the journey, Kendall was the embodiment of those fears. In relationships, I believe in clear communication. I had to ask her, straight up, if she could see this working. When she sincerely answered yes, I knew I needed to see where our relationship would go.

Saying goodbye to Tia was almost impossible. For so many weeks, she had been the person I’d go to when I wanted to feel better. I looked to her in crowds for reassurance and loved talking to her and hanging out. Also, I knew our lives meshed together so well. At this point in all of this, though, I could no longer just follow my logical brain. I know Tia wanted a reason for why I said goodbye, but there was no “good reason.”  She didn’t do anything wrong, it was just my feelings for her weren’t as strong as my feelings for the other women. Tia is beautiful and smart and accomplished and fun, but, for whatever reason, my heart just wasn’t there. Sometimes this happens in love. It doesn’t always make sense. Even though I knew I’d miss Tia so much, I also knew it was time to say goodbye. Watching Tia’s ride home broke my heart. Tia, I just want you to know that you’re worth so much and you’re going to find an amazing relationship.

Leaving this week, I realized that we were here, in the final stretch of this journey. There were three women left, all of whom I could sincerely imagine being my wife. I really thought at this point I’d have a good idea of who that’d be, but I was wrong. During these last few weeks I continue to travel the globe and desperately try to gain clarity about my hardest decisions yet. And if navigating my final relationships isn’t enough pressure — I get a visitor who threatens to ruin the whole thing. Will my future be sabotaged? Will I be left broken-hearted? Tune in next week to see how it all goes down.

Best, Arie

The Bachelor: Chris Harrison blogs week 9

Every week, Bachelor host and executive producer Chris Harrison is giving EW his behind-the-scenes take on the latest episode.

Welcome back, Bachelor Nation! It’s been a wild couple of days. Clare Crawley is engaged to Benoit from the Winter Games! Congratulations again, Clare. Other than that, the Bachelor Winter Games were a huge success with lots of great couples forming. We can’t wait to keep up with them and see how their relationships progress! And since then we had an amazing Women Tell All episode with some great and open interviews from Tia, Seinne, Bekah M, and Krystal. It was a wild time and more than anything, I’m glad we finally put the glam-shaming controversy to rest.

But the controversy is really just getting started. What you saw this week as Arie and the three remaining women went to Ica, Peru, was just the tip of the iceberg. Obviously, Arie had to say goodbye to Kendall, as he had already fallen in love with two other women, but that didn’t make saying goodbye any easier for either of them. That’s one of the things that is hardest about being the Bachelor. You often have to end relationships that are actually going quite well, just because your time together is up. If other relationships are further along, you have to go with your gut and follow your heart.

All three overnight dates were among the most spectacular and ambitious we’ve ever done. Lauren got to fly above the beautiful ancient Nazca Lines. Kendall got to sand surf on some of the biggest and most beautiful dunes on Earth, and Becca got to take a romantic boat trip to an island full of birds. Peru was a place we’ve always wanted to go and it was totally worth the trip. Everything about it, from the sights to the ceviche, was magical.

Of course, Arie saying he is in love with two women is a big deal — we’ve only ever seen someone do that one other time in Bachelor history, with Ben Higgins. Arie is the kind of person who says what he means and means what he says, and the idea that it was going to make it harder down the road for him to say goodbye didn’t stop him from expressing his true emotions in the moment.

One thing we haven’t ever seen before, though, is a man from someone’s past coming halfway around the world to try to win his ex-girlfriend back. I have a feeling Ross expected a very different ending than the one he got with Becca. All of us tend to see ourselves as the protagonist in our own romantic comedies, but as far as this experience is concerned, Becca’s journey to love simply does not include Ross. I think it’s great that Ross and Becca had this interaction, as it seemed pretty clear that he was determined to take one last shot with her. I also really appreciate the way Arie handled Ross. He told Ross the truth about their relationship but he also made sure not to speak on Becca’s behalf. Becca is her own person and as silly as it might seem, it’s important that Arie not step in and interfere with a relationship that was a big part of her life. Those are her decisions to make, and boy did she make them.

Now, Arie is heading to Cusco, Peru, with two women that he is madly in love with. As you can imagine, things are going to be wild. Next week we are live with a three-hour finale that will change the way you look at The Bachelor forever. I’m serious when I say do not miss it!

Arie Luyendyk Jr.: Why I Sent Kendall Home and Gave Lauren B. a Rose After Our 'Stressful' Date

Arie Luyendyk Jr. vied for Emily Maynard‘s heart on season 8 of  The Bachelorette. Now, he’s on his own journey to find love on the latest season of The Bachelor — and he’s blogging about it exclusively for PEOPLE! Follow Arie on Twitter at @ariejr.

As much as I loved being grilled by the women’s families, I was excited to finally be going to Peru. It was so crazy to be in our final destination of this journey. I couldn’t believe that in just a few short weeks I’d be engaged. Even crazier, though, was that I had no idea who I’d hopefully be getting down on one knee for. You know when you do something new and huge and you think you know exactly how it’s going to be? Well, you’re normally wrong. Expectation rarely meets reality. I never could’ve been prepared for this.

We got off the plane and started our drive to Ica. I watched out the window as the city slowly turned to sand dunes. We pulled into our hotel, and saw wild sheep, llamas and alpacas wandering around and I tried to snap some selfies with them with my Polaroid. A sheep even followed me into the gym one day.

It would be a crime to go to Ica and not hit the dunes. Kendall and I, as always, had a blast. There was never a dull moment when we were together. Ever date someone who always keeps you on your toes? Keeps you laughing and keeps conversations exciting? That was Kendall. Given our conversation at the rose ceremony last week, I knew we really liked each other, but I was still unsure if we could catch up to the other women. Our chemistry was so strong, but did that mean we could potentially get engaged so soon? That evening, it was amazing to hear Kendall say she was falling in love with me. I felt like maybe, against the odds, we COULD get there.

I was so excited going into my date with Lauren. I’d never heard of the Nazca Lines before, but they were breathtaking. I have no idea how the biomorphs and geoglyphs got there. Aliens maybe? The day portion of my date with Lauren was great, but also stressful. I was in love with her and had such strong feelings, but she seemed so worried and distant. When she told me she was considering leaving due to the stress, I didn’t know what to do. Thankfully, that night, we were able to talk directly about the problem. Hearing that she was in her head due to the stress of thinking about me dating other women, but, still, was very much in love with me made all the difference in the world. We were in love, and it felt great that we could both express that.

My final date of the week was with Becca. Our catamaran trip to Ballesta Island was perfectly romantic. The island was beautiful and filled with wildlife. There was one big drawback, though. Apparently, an island that thousands of birds use as a toilet doesn’t smell great …

Being around Becca was always so easy. Though we hit some rough patches earlier, whenever we had time alone things were progressing. When we told each other that we loved each other, it felt like we had finally totally bridged the distance between us that had formed part-way thru the journey. I had so much hope for a potential future with her.

Then … there came the ex. As annoying as it was, we have to talk about my visit from Ross. When he came and knocked on my door, I really thought that he was hotel staff. Becca and I had talked about her ex before, but I never thought he’d fly halfway across the world to try and win her back. I was angry that he showed up, not for me, but for Becca. She didn’t deserve to have someone from her past continuing to bug her. I’ve heard of ghosting, but this felt like a haunting. I can see how he’d think he was making a big, romantic gesture, but come on dude. She moved on!

The rose ceremony that week was incredibly difficult. As much as it pained me, I knew I had to say goodbye to Kendall. Our time together filled my heart with joy, but our connection just wasn’t as strong as the other two. I’d miss all her facts, the ukele, the taxidermy, the talks of zombie apocalypses, and all the laughs. We had an amazing run. From kissing under the Eiffel Tower to her seeing her first snowfall, it was a relationship I’d never forget.

So, there I was, at the end of the week, in a situation that I had never imagined. I realized that I was in love with two women. I never thought this could happen to me. I hadn’t been in love since Emily, and now here I was: IN LOVE. TWO WOMEN. When I watched Ben’s season I was wondering how someone could fall in love with two people at once. Well, now I can empathize with him because it can happen and did happen. I was entering my last chapter as The Bachelor with two amazing, beautiful, intelligent women … and had no idea how I was going to figure out who I’d propose to. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any harder … I was about to enter the most intense chapter yet. Never, and I mean never did I think this journey would take the turn it does. Next week, join me in watching the dramatic, emotional conclusion to my journey as The Bachelor live on stage Monday and Tuesday.

Best, Arie