Rebecca (Becca) Kufrin - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

I don’t know that but think he deserves flack for what he did just like every other lead, including those who allowed the f2 guys to propose. I just can’t blame everything on TPTB. Some of it has to be on the lead's shoulders. Jason clearly took the heat and they got beyond it but it wasn’t easy. I’m just not sure if Arie is really ready to settle down or if Lauren is prepared for what’s going to happen.

I do feel that Becca is better off now than being with someone who doesn’t love her. I’m always torn on whether I want someone I like to do the show again. Not doing it worked out very well for Chris Lambton.

Kashathediva wrote:It takes a very strong person to go against the grain in a situation where you have been surrounded by people telling you falsehoods or psychologically manipulating you for over 2 months. 
I am not trying to excuse ultimate decision making. I'm simply pointing out that this is almost like a Stockholm situation. Cast act like they are falling in love with people they would never give a first date to begin with IRL. 
I keep coming back to that hamburger theory and that cast that were even vegetarian would want that hamburger.
I think that is one of the reasons MF likened this show to a dating experiment vs a love story/romance. I think that is also why production does what they can to spin the variables constantly off kilter. 
People who have striven to remain true to themselves usually fared worse by the public. (Brad, Jason, Deanna, Jen, JP) Des was crucified for choosing Chris S and it was repeated often enough that he was surely a default and no way could she had loved him, etc. 
I'm not sure what the right thing is with this show. It seems you will be damned regardless.

I was talking about this same thing. Arie still has to give tptb a show. I don't make excuses for him I just choose to understand. If Becca became the bachelorette, she will certainly understand Arie position. DeAnna crucified Brad and then had to go back and apologize to him after her season.
That's why I say you do what makes you happy.

GuardianAngel wrote:I don't know that he gets bored and wouldn't label him someone who goes from person to person because he's bored.

What's the difference from being single and dating multiple people over a 15 year span because you haven't found the right person yet.

Its only how many 3 women, not 15.

I think this time around, I'm staying away from blaming the lead, especially since I don't have all the facts. My personal opinions of some of their decisions have not always been popular especially when it comes to the lead having sex with multiple partners. I'm not a fan of that, especially when we hear you've always been the one.

To me, this is the same thing. The lead has sex with the F2 clearly knowing who they are choosing. They led the F2 into believing they would be the F1. Why did they do that?

The lead changes their mind, knowing who they wanted to begin with. (if that's in fact what happened) They led the F1 to believe they were the one's they chose to give the relationship a try. Why did they do that?

Both bad decision IMHO, regardless of TPTB and whatever they are doing or saying or editing. IA It's totally on them. They have a choice, and if they don't play the game there are consequences as we have seen in the past.

I don't think Arie switched because he wanted to hurt Becca.

I have never felt that Arie set out to deliberately deceive and hurt Becca but it appears that is how he is being painted. This is why I want to hear from all 3 of them to at least let them tell their side of things.

I don’t think Arie set out to hurt her intentionally but I do think Arie has no idea what he really wants and frankly isn’t going to ever get married. It’s fine, there are people who never get married and have long term relationships. It’s not a bad thing. I just don’t think Arie has realized this about himself.

My main complaint is if Arie wasn’t 100% sure he shouldn’t have picked Becca. She is an innocent bystander here IMO and that’s not fair at all. Yes she signed up to be on the show but she didn’t sign up for a guy to propose to her and then start contacting/keep tabs on his ex while engaged. That’s not cool from anyone.

umngirl wrote:I don’t think Arie set out to hurt her intentionally but I do think Arie has no idea what he really wants and frankly isn’t going to ever get married. It’s fine, there are people who never get married and have long term relationships. It’s not a bad thing. I just don’t think Arie has realized this about himself.

My main complaint is if Arie wasn’t 100% sure he shouldn’t have picked Becca. She is an innocent bystander here IMO and that’s not fair at all. Yes she signed up to be on the show but she didn’t sign up for a guy to propose to her and then start contacting/keep tabs on his ex while engaged. That’s not cool from anyone.

In my opinion she's not innocent. When she signed up for this show she knew she was competing with other women "many". Anything goes and you can leave with a broken heart , either now or later. I believe he will get married when the right one comes along, it might be Lauren or someone else.

littlereddress wrote:I have never felt that Arie set out to deliberately deceive and hurt Becca but it appears that is how he is being painted.  This is why I want to hear from all 3 of them to at least let them tell their side of things.  

IMHO We will never know the real "truth" of what happened.. Arie may not have deliberately set out to hurt Becca, but he didn't do anything to keep from it either. I still say if the love is real between he and Lauren it would have waited until a couple months down the road and not a day or two after he broke it off with Becca for them to get together.. It's like they put their happiness above everybody else. A decent human being doesn't do that. Also, it's like Arie is trying to rewrite history. I'd be interested in seeing if his journal reads the same as what he's spewing now.. I've always found it really strange that Arie can't seem to fall in love with a lady unless he's on TV with people watching... Strange indeed... IMHO...

I don't defend Arie in proposing to Becca despite his indecision - it was the wrong thing to do for sure.  He should have pushed back on TPTB and said he wasn't ready to propose, IMO.  I don't put any blame on Becca, but I think she was a bit caught up in the bachelor bubble and may have ignored the red flags when Arie admitted he still had feelings for Lauren, if that did indeed happen.

Becca is a great girl and has so much potential to do better than Arie whether she does that being the Bette or IRL.  

JMO

IMO, signing up for this show means you are up for their manipulation through FRC. You are supposed to be safe after that. Up until Arie chose to be with Becca and only Becca, it is fair game. Arie committed to trying with Becca while pining over and subtly pursuing Lauren. Game was over, Arie doing that was selfish and IMO mean.

All is JMO.

littlereddress wrote:I have never felt that Arie set out to deliberately deceive and hurt Becca but it appears that is how he is being painted.  This is why I want to hear from all 3 of them to at least let them tell their side of things.  

Actions > intentions imo.

And can you imagine how Becca feels reading Arie's blog? We will never know the real truth because they can edit the show however they want and Arie can tell it exactly how it was or give us the version that works best for him.

How many years have we heard that TPTB are not your friend? They manipulate, tell you things that aren't true, bring in ex boyfriends, and will do the same to friends and family. Arie has been on this show before, he's friends with Sean, Catherine, Courtney and they all know how this game is played. He had these girls in the FS and must have talked with them about where relationships stood so he knew first hand without getting it just from TPTB.

In the end it is Arie's decision and he has to own it. If he wanted Lauren and proposed to Becca for whatever reason it was his mistake. Whatever it is at the end of the show where the lead picks someone, to me it should at least be a commitment to work on that relationship. It doesn't seem like Arie did that.

I don't think Arie intended to hurt anyone but like it or not there was unnecessary heartbreak because of his decisions. Lauren and Becca both were hurt. I'll be interested to hear his explanation.