Bachelor 22 - Arie Luyendyk Jr - SM Media - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

Tiggerlgh wrote:@LoveDovezI wouldn’t call 1f one of his friends.  They haven’t been for years.  But Arie has stayed friends with Sean an John Wolfner and others from his season.

Thanks @Tiggerlgh I guess I just put him in with Jef, the one F, because they both like girls that are way too young for them. I apologize. Does anybody know how old the girl was that Arie was dating and broke up with to do the show? TIA!

@LoveDovez That is not quite correct factually. I am going to paraphrase the information, but the facts are on the forum and someone far better than myself will correct me.  This was more a friends with benefits relationship IMO. This relationship was over prior to him being asked to do the show. I believe she was not even at one of the twin's weddings. I think the last time he saw her was in June/July?  Neither had exchanged the words ILY to the other? At the ripe old age of 35--that is pretty darn significant IMO.
IMO Arie for whatever reason is being painted in a less than flattering light. He is a nice guy. Not a saint by any means, but certainly someone I would love to set up with my single daughter and welcome into my family with welcome arms.

@Kashathediva According to her, they had introduced each other as girlfriend/boyfriend, they had met each others' families, and she spent all the major holiday with him and his family. I get the feeling things fizzled earlier this year and he was never super serious about her, but originally she was an actual girlfriend. It definitely seemed like she was chasing him, since it seems like she basically moved to AZ for him after graduation(she said she randomly got a job there, but I think that's too much of a coincidence since she went to school in OH and was already talking to him on DM). He did break up with her in July, so he 100% did not break up with her for the show. IMO.

@Aria Thanks for helping clarify the facts! Appreciation granted!

Speaking of Sydney, she did another interview (http://www.betches.com/interview-sydney-stempfley). Her tone definitely seems to be very different and she claims that Arie was cheating on her.

Aria wrote:Speaking of Sydney, she did another interview (http://www.betches.com/interview-sydney-stempfley). Her tone definitely seems to be very different and she claims that Arie was cheating on her.

I have a couple of points about this interview.  She sounds like she is mad.  

1.  RS tried to interview her and she told him she will not interview without getting paid.  Infer what you will from that.

2.  If she felt she was in a serious and solid relationship with Arie why did she audition to be on the bachelor??  She is angry at him for doing but it is okay for her to do it?  It sounds like she did not make it through the audition.

3.  She did not suspect cheating while she was with him because they were together so much but now she is getting her info off of SM and deciding it is all true.  Did she actually catch him cheating or just going by what she is reading? Why have no other women come forward saying they were dating him around the same time he was dating her.

4.  He said she lied about the date they broke up and evidently she did because she changed the date to more towards July and not 2 days before he signed up in a later interview.  

5.  Just personal opinion I think she is looking to smear him because she is hurt and angry and wants to tell her story and get revenge.  She does have a right to do that of course.  I am sure she is hurt if she thought it was more serious than it was but to me it sounded like she was a "good for now girl" and he was not planning on getting more serious with her.  She is getting every dig in that she can.

Kashathediva wrote:@LoveDovez That is not quite correct factually. I am going to paraphrase the information, but the facts are on the forum and someone far better than myself will correct me.  This was more a friends with benefits relationship IMO. This relationship was over prior to him being asked to do the show. I believe she was not even at one of the twin's weddings. I think the last time he saw her was in June/July?  Neither had exchanged the words ILY to the other? At the ripe old age of 35--that is pretty darn significant IMO.
IMO Arie for whatever reason is being painted in a less than flattering light. He is a nice guy. Not a saint by any means, but certainly someone I would love to set up with my single daughter and welcome into my family with welcome arms.

It was apparently friends with benefits for him, not for her.  Parents were involved, they were living together, holidays were spent together.   If my daughter introduced me to someone whom she is living with, spends holidays with.. I would not think, my daughter is having 'friends with benefits' with a guy.  I mean I would never involve my   family with my  shenanigans especially if I know I'm only a man's booty call.  

I am still confused why Arie is given a pass but the woman was reduced to 'a friend with benefit'.  The woman repeatedly claims she believed they were in a committed relationship.  She was blindsided.   I mean dude, as a woman I respect her pain and will not add insult  to injury by reducing her to a harlot psycho who is so obsessed with this man.     

I'm actually very very uncomfortable accusing any  woman of just having 'friends with benefits' with a man because most of the time they get into relationships surrendering all their power, no say were the relationship is headed and then one day they find out, their boyfriends are out there playing them for a fool .    It's my nature to give  women the benefit of the doubt in these kind of situations because it seems like women never benefit from  friends with benefits type of relationships.

However,  Courtney Robertson and Arie have been friends with benefits on and off, and she agreed to it.  And they both know that's what they were.  Then there are no victims there, only two consenting adults using each other without commitment.

charriotoffire wrote:

Kashathediva wrote:@LoveDovez That is not quite correct factually. I am going to paraphrase the information, but the facts are on the forum and someone far better than myself will correct me.  This was more a friends with benefits relationship IMO. This relationship was over prior to him being asked to do the show. I believe she was not even at one of the twin's weddings. I think the last time he saw her was in June/July?  Neither had exchanged the words ILY to the other? At the ripe old age of 35--that is pretty darn significant IMO.
IMO Arie for whatever reason is being painted in a less than flattering light. He is a nice guy. Not a saint by any means, but certainly someone I would love to set up with my single daughter and welcome into my family with welcome arms.

It was apparently friends with benefits for him, not for her.  Parents were involved, they were living together, holidays were spent together.   If my daughter introduced me to someone whom she is living with, spends holidays with.. I would not think, my daughter is having 'friends with benefits' with a guy.  I mean I would never involve my   family with my  shenanigans especially if I know I'm only a man's booty call.  

I am still confused why Arie is given a pass but the woman was reduced to 'a friend with benefit'.  The woman repeatedly claims she believed they were in a committed relationship.  She was blindsided.   I mean dude, as a woman I respect her pain and will not add insult  to injury by reducing her to a harlot psycho who is so obsessed with this man.     

I'm actually very very uncomfortable accusing any  woman of just having 'friends with benefits' with a man because most of the time they get into relationships surrendering all their power, no say were the relationship is headed and then one day they find out, their boyfriends are  out there playing them for a fool .    It's my nature to give  women the benefit of the doubt in these kind of situations because it seems like women never benefit from  friends with benefits type of relationships.

However,  Courtney Robertson and Arie have been friends with benefits on and off, and she agreed to it.  And they both know that's what they were.  Then there are no victims there, only two consenting adults using each other without commitment.

I don't think anyone is reducing her to a harlot psycho.
IMO no one can take personal power away. Only I can give my power away. I make a choice who I am going to move in with. I make a choice who I am going to have sex with. I make a choice etc etc. I can feel good, bad etc about it. I can learn from it. In the long run I make my choices. I do not relinquish my power unless I choose. I do not surrender unless I choose. It is my power. No one takes it from me. If I give it, it is my choice. JMO. At the same time, I must be responsible and act responsibly and be held accountable.
Only the couple truly knows what went on in the relationship and clearly they were not on the same page with communication.
I think the key is neither had ever exchanged the words: I love you during the relationship.

All the major holidays. How many major holidays are there in a less than 12 month time frame, IIRC they weren't together even a year. Isn't that what couples do? Spend holidays together. I've read that several times now that they spent all the major holidays as if that was a promise to marry. Two people seeing each other, whether it's friends with benefits, or serious dating, they are both agreeing to it. I'm not sure why we need to "stick up" for a woman just because she's female. She was in involved in that relationship and if he wasn't talking marriage, if that's what she wanted, IMHO she was free to leave. If she suspected he was cheating, she was free to break off the relationship. If she didn't know and is now hearing about it, who was he cheating with why doesn't she confront that person. "Hearing" that he was cheating is a strong accusation especially during a time where Arie himself is unable to comment.

How much complaining did she do from the time they broke up to the time he was announced as TB? I'd be interested in knowing if she was bad mouthing him during that time frame.

They broke up, well before he was announced as TB. He obviously wasn't interested in going on any further. I'm not sure what the issue is.

The woman repeatedly claims she believed they were in a committed relationship.  She was blindsided.

 She was blindsided by the breakup in June?  I suppose many relationships break up with one party not seeing it coming.  I'm sure she was very disappointed.  

If you look at Arie's twitter and igram, you will see that his brother's wedding , in Holland  - at a castle!- was on July 2.   They surely broke up before that wedding weekend or she would have been included in this important family event.

I think the key is neither had ever exchanged the words: I love you during the relationship.

Absolutely key!  She really should have had a clue that this "committed" relationship was not going anywhere by the time she was not included in wedding flight arrangements which had to have taken place at least by late May or the first week of June.   No one buys transatlantic flights 4 days before a planned wedding. They must have broken up by sometime in June.

 RS tried to interview her and she told him she will not interview without getting paid.  Infer what you will from that.

 My ouija board tells me that she's going to get a $10,000 sidebar cover article from a tabloid in January.

How much complaining did she do from the time they broke up to the time he was announced as TB? I'd be interested in knowing if she was bad mouthing him during that time frame.

 I'd be interested too.

I say we tar and feather Arie for having the audacity to date women without marrying them.  

Seriously, I am not interested in Arie's dating history.
I didn't watch Emily's seadon so Arie has that appeals of mystery and freshness to me. I can't wait to see his famous kisses!
I just want to know who got the f3 1-1 date, who are the early front runners. I want to sleuth!