Re: Bachelor 22 - Arie Luyendyk Jr - FAN FORUM - General Discussion - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

[Maddy]

HALL Wines @HALLWines
We had a fantastic time hosting @BachelorABC @ariejr at HALL St. Helena. How can you beat sharing 98pt Kathryn Hall Cabernet Sauvignon with Vintner @kathrynwalthall herself? #thebachelor

[Maddy]

BEKAH M'S 1-ON-1
I was really anticipating this 1-on-1 and it did not disappoint. Three major things stuck out to me here. Last week I mentioned how endearingly dorky Arie is, and this following statement really supported that for me...

I LOVE the ability to admit that you've become a bit boring, but how it's not for a lack of opportunity to be cool, but rather that your interests and pace have changed. As a woman in her 30s, I can SERIOUSLY relate to this. It also ties into something about Arie I've been meaning to discuss for awhile, and that is that I think it's a GREAT thing that he was a frontrunner from 5 years ago. Think about how many final couples don't work out partially because of the overnight fame, attention, and opportunities that accompany being on this show. Especially with men who are frontrunners (aka who get airtime), a lot of them get a post-show playboy reputation, much due to the fact that the viewership for this show is about 95% female. I have no judgment regarding this, but I do think it can alter a guy's interest or true readiness to settle down when he suddenly has a buffet of options open to him that he'd never had before. Thus, it makes total sense that Arie, 5 years after he became a household name, might actually be ready to settle down now, versus a guy who is at his peak fame and for whom so much female attention (and the novelty of so much female attention) hasn't yet worn off.

The second thing that stood out was Arie's strong reaction to Bekah M's age. I couldn't be bothered to make a .GIF of it, but it was suitably surprised and distraught, particularly when he covered his mouth with an "Oh my god." Like, you could see some men being really into her youth (hell, he has probably been that guy before), but you really got the sense that he was NOT stoked about it here, given his seriousness about this process working out for him.
Lastly, we caught a glimpse of Bekah M's youth (and I say a glimpse because really, she is SO mature seeming and just doesn't behave how I imagine a 22-year old to behave) with the following exchange...

This is the ONLY time her being so young has really shown, in my opinion. To see his hypothetical emotional investment in her and ending up heartbroken (especially within this incredible once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for him) as something that could be seen as somehow worth it... To me this the perspective of someone who has the interest and time to choose the wrong paths for the sake of experience. I loved Arie's response here, which wasn't something along the ambiguous lines of, "No, because I want this to work out for me", but rather that he wants a WIFE. Not a fiancé, not a girlfriend, and not some ambiguous happy ending. It really pinpointed what the issue is here: These two could absolutely have a great love, but is she—this dynamic, charismatic, obviously intelligent 22-year old—really ready, or even interested, to settle down and become a wife? And I say this as someone who wouldn't wish settling down and prematurely getting married (emphasis on "prematurely"—don't bite my head off if you got married around this age and it worked out great for you) on my worst 22-year old enemy, simply because the thought of stunting someone's room for adventure, curiosity, and experience is pretty much the worst thing I can imagine in this world.

http://www.alltheprettypandas.com/bachelor22/episode4

[Aria]

Despite recent events, I have been enjoying Arie as the lead (for the most part!) and Sharleen did a really good job of articulating why.

[Kashathediva]

I enjoyed Sharleen's POV. Thanks.

[Maddy]

https://twitter.com/blondjuliebrown

[Maddy]

I enjoyed Sharleen's POV. Thanks.

YW, Kasha!
It was my favorite moment in that episode, that really touched me and I was happy Sharleen wrote about it and made a gif of that moment. It brings it back to me every time when I look at it. I can really relate to what Bekah and Arie said to each other. When I was young I was like Bekah and then I became like Arie, I didn't want just to date or, as Sharleen put it, have "some ambiguous happy ending" anymore, I wanted to have different experiences. So I felt and understood each of them and it touched me to tears. I watch this show for moments like that, when I can relate to people and feel something that they feel. So that was really good. Still one of my favorite moments of this season.

[Maddy]

Anyway, Arie (knowingly) plays Krystal's game for a bit and goes up to chat with her. I loved this conversation so much that I transcribed a chunk of it (it was way too much for a .GIF). Every single sentence of Arie's is a direct response to what was just said, and a concrete, constructive one at that. He is eloquent and concise and doesn't beat around the bush but is never nasty. Meanwhile, note how much of what Krystal says sounds like stock, unrelated arguments, like she's grasping at straws to maintain victim status and dodge being in the wrong. It's like with each sentence, Arie takes a step towards resolution, and achieving that resolution would require Krystal admitting to at least an iota of fault. But Krystal sidesteps the blame every time and points it elsewhere. It's very two steps forward, one step back...

Arie: The simple matter of this whole thing is that you're up here, they're down there, and whatever was said up here could've been said to me directly.
Krystal: I felt... passionate... and I felt very hurt and I said things out of hurt. Um... I wanted to share with you, like, I feel like I've been so, like, open and deep and raw and, like, vulnerable with you, and I feel like I don't know anything about you. And I want you to, like, let me in.
Arie: You know more than anyone here!
Krystal: I know, but like, I need more. Like, that's important for me.
Arie: I know that you need to know more about me. If you were downstairs then we would have, you know, some time to talk about it, but this is exactly what couples can't do, is run away from their problems. This is what I'm trying to get at, is that small things in this environment can turn into really big things outside of it. And when this stuff happens it really causes a lot of—
Krystal: Yeah. Disruption. (she begins to concede here)
Arie: ... disruption in our relationship, and also makes me pull back.
Krystal: I—I totally pulled back today. Um, like... it felt like a lie! (never mind)
Arie: But you're the only one up here—
Krystal: Yeah, okay!
Arie: Are you teaching me a lesson?
Krystal: No, I was just... I was pissed!
Arie: Yeah. I know you're pissed, but here's the thing: I think you should stay up here tonight, I'm going to go down and hang with them, know that I'm not happy about it, and I'll see you in a few days.

At the risk of sounding like a complete weirdo, this solidified a mini TV crush on Arie I've been flirting with having for a few weeks. I'm into a man who—especially in conflict—behaves like an adult, not a child, who works toward a resolution (instead of wallowing in the conflict, almost relishing it). I've had lovely, mature boyfriends that became petulant, argumentative, fault-diverting boys during fights and am SO glad I never have to go there again.

I've told Andy (MY DARLING HUSBAND WHOM I LOVE VERY MUCH) about my TV crush on Arie and his response: "Oh, I can so see that. He's a bit like me!"

http://www.alltheprettypandas.com/bachelor22/episode5
I agree with Sharleen and that's why I like Arie more and more myself.

[Maddy]

https://giphy.com/gifs/thebachelor-the-bachelor-3ohjV6n97o4AjRkgH6

[Maddy]

Ryan Seacrest @RyanSeacrest
The secret’s out...honeymooning with @ariejr in the Bahamas! #BachelorNation #KellyandRyanAtlantis

[Maddy]

[Maddy]

[Bet2Win]

OMG, that was too funny with Ryan. Good on both of them!

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