Nick Viall - Bachelor 21 - Discussion

Jane781 wrote:A conscience in what sense? How do you know it even bothers her? We don't know the story behind the hat or how he got it. He may have bought the hat when he was on his own at the airport just because he liked it for all we know. It's not even a Montreal team. I just think y'all are overreacting. JMO.

Montreal has a baseball team?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I don't really have issue with her celebrating in LA (beyond thinking it a bit strange) my issue is more to act like he's somehow wronged her by posting a picture wearing a Canadian hat but have no issue with her celebrating her 30th birthday, one which I'm sure they talked about celebrating together, in the city that he lives when she could've celebrated it anywhere. That is odd to me

@notarosa I think the other article you posted a link to -How Nick deals with breakups is more appropriate here. IMO

Jane781 wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I don't really have issue with her celebrating in LA (beyond thinking it a bit strange) my issue is more to act like he's somehow wronged her by posting a picture wearing a Canadian hat but have no issue with her celebrating her 30th birthday, one which I'm sure they talked about celebrating together, in the city that he lives when she could've celebrated it anywhere. That is odd to me

Yes it's odd to me too but I'm just questioning why you said she's celebrating in 'what could be called 'his' city'
As if that justified him wearing a hat representing her, just for the mere fact that he 'likes the hat' and it doesn't mean anything to him.
I didn't say I thought he'd wronged her, but if what you are saying is true, then I think it is wrong to wear the hat.  She's trying to move on and if it means nothing to him then I expect he is moving on too. Wearing the hat is not saying I'm moving on to me JMO

KayP wrote:@notarosa I think the other article you posted a link to -How Nick deals with breakups is more appropriate here. IMO

I posted Kevin's interview because it illustrates that Nick is not the only man from a franchise show who is not embarrassed to say he loves his former fiancé. Plus, Kevin's interview gives a lot of insight into what it's like to be "the couple" during and after the show.

My point is essentially the one I made above about the disconnect between the interpretation of the two actions. She made a decision to celebrate in the city he lives in, presumably despite the fact that he lives there. And he's deciding to wear a hat that is to some degree associated with her, but people aren't affording him the same presumption. IMO If her decision doesn't trigger people, I don't see why his should. Particularly when we have no idea how he got the hat or how attached to it she is.

Also, I think there's a middle ground between it meaning nothing and it meaning he wants her back. More that he doesn't mind wearing something that is associated with her or their relationship. And I don't see the issue with that unless she has an issue with it. But who are we to say that Vanessa Is bothered by it? She seems like she's doing just fine in the moving on process to me. My assumption would be if she had an issue with it she would let him know and he'd stop wearing it for now. All JMO.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I agree. we as fans have no clue the exact status of how they feel or what their triggers are. I don't know if my post caused further speculation but my point was that in what I've seen from Nick over the past 4 yrs he doesn't let heartbreak cause him to erase all memories or items associated with someone from his life. As I've said throughout this break up they both have a right to how they individually handle the break up. Remember, Vanessa has blocked him from her SM so chances are she is not even aware of what Nick is doing or wearing to feel offended or disrespected. As a Nick fan/follower over the past 4 yrs he really is a d***ed if he does d***ed if he doesn't figure. If he erases all of things V related he's an ahole, if he doesn't he's an ahole. Again I don't know for certain but my thought was that despite the break up itself, Nick still values the time he had with V and then thus is not bothered to keep or wear things that reminds him of her. IMO it has nothing to do with disrespect.

MonicaJM2001 wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I agree. we as fans have no clue the exact status of how they feel or what their triggers are. I don't know if my post caused further speculation but my point was that in what I've seen from Nick over the past 4 yrs he doesn't let heartbreak cause him to erase all memories or items associated with someone from his life. As I've said throughout this break up they both have a right to how they individually handle the break up. Remember, Vanessa has blocked him from her SM so chances are she is not even aware of what Nick is doing or wearing to feel offended or disrespected. As a Nick fan/follower over the past 4 yrs he really is a d***ed if he does d***ed if he doesn't figure. If he erases all of things V related he's an ahole, if he doesn't he's an ahole. Again I don't know for certain but my thought was that despite the break up itself, Nick still values the time he had with V and then thus is not bothered to keep or wear things as that reminds him of her. IMO it has nothing to do with disrespect.

I agree we have no clue of how they're feeling.  We can only speculate by what we see on SM. So brings me to my point.. My initial point was that Nick IMO is wearing the hat for a reason (he's also liking some very deep sounding quotes on Instagram, but we won't go there because I feel like I'm pulling teeth already) I'm not saying there's anything wrong with him wearing the hat, I'm saying he's wearing it because he can't let her go or that he wants her back. The only reason I find it disrespectful is that if he is wearing it just because it's a hat he owns. He's giving the wrong impression if so.IMO. Maybe some people don't have an issue with it but I find that a kick in the teeth if the person I was heartbroken over was wearing a hat that has caused media speculation.  
I'm not saying he should get rid of every reminder either but just don't wear it, put it on your bedside table if you want but not on your head in public.
Also, lets not forget that he wore a yellow bracelet throughout filming which he later confirmed was for Vanessa.  I'm pretty sure it wasn't just because he liked wearing a yellow silicone bracelet.
Also, yes Vanessa blocked him but she also unblocked him and we have no way of knowing if she's blocked him again.  We know they aren't following each other but that doesn't mean anything IMO

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] she is in LA for work so it's not as if she just came to LA to party.

MonicaJM2001 wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I agree. we as fans have no clue the exact status of how they feel or what their triggers are. I don't know if my post caused further speculation but my point was that in what I've seen from Nick over the past 4 yrs he doesn't let heartbreak cause him to erase all memories or items associated with someone from his life. As I've said throughout this break up they both have a right to how they individually handle the break up. Remember, Vanessa has blocked him from her SM so chances are she is not even aware of what Nick is doing or wearing to feel offended or disrespected. As a Nick fan/follower over the past 4 yrs he really is a d***ed if he does d***ed if he doesn't figure. If he erases all of things V related he's an ahole, if he doesn't he's an ahole. Again I don't know for certain but my thought was that despite the break up itself, Nick still values the time he had with V and then thus is not bothered to keep or wear things that reminds him of her. IMO it has nothing to do with disrespect.

The hat = Vanessa **IMO**.  If trying to get over her and move on why wear it so frequently?  The constant reminder is not doing him any good **IMO**.  Shelf it for now or burn it.  The apartment must be reminder enough, why punish himself further?  JMO

Vanessa had work in LA onThursday as well as next Thursday.  Her friends arrived Friday to celebrate with her.  If I had the chance to go to LA to party, count me in.  I'd love a mini vacation in LA and what better reason than to help a friend celebrate their birthday.  Vanessa will be attending a friends wedding on her actual birthday.  She obviously has friends that live in LA that wanted to join in the festivities. She's not in LA just to spite Nick. JMO

I wouldn't think much of Nick wearing the Bluejays cap if it weren't for the fact that he liked all of those heartbreaking Instagram posts--none of which referring to any desire to move on and one of them even mentioning the idea of people being like boomerangs that will eventually come back, etc. I see the Bluejays hat as an emblem of how he's not yet in a place in his life where he is willing to fully move on from that relationship which is why I think the hat brings him a sense of masochistic comfort in a way. I think it's clear that he still loves Vanessa and I do think that he associates the hat with her which is why he probably has no problem wearing it. Assuming that they really are giving each other space and are currently not in contact, I also see the hat as potentially being one of the few connections that he has left of her (beyond his memories and their formerly shared apartment in LA of course). Logically, I think that Nick knows that he should move on but I think that his heart isn't ready to do so which is why he doesn't seem to have much desire to shelf and/or burn the hat. I do think that the hat= Vanessa...and maybe one day he'll stop wearing it (or maybe not, who knows?). But for now he's going to continue wearing the hat because he loves it and doesn't want to burn it or let it go. All JMO

Yes, Vanessa had work in LA last Thursday and presumably again this Thursday. That doesn't change my point. She's in a position to pretty much party anywhere. They could've even gone somewhere close in California, if she didn't want to travel. Again, I don't really care that she chose to do it in LA, but I also don't think she in any way had to. To me, it's more just about the double standards applied to them. If the situation were reversed somehow and Nick had done the equivalent with his friends, I have zero questions a lot more people would have something to say about it.

Re Nick, personally, I think you can be in a very emotional state of reflection about love, the loss of it, questioning the future, etc. and be liking quotes like the ones he has without wanting the person back. JMO. If one party was pushing for the end of the relationship more than the other, I think that person was Nick. And while I'm sure he misses certain aspects of the relationship and her and may even still love her, given what we know about him, I find it hard to believe that he doesn't remember the reasons they broke up and I highly doubt he's wanting back in the relationship in any real sense. JMO.