Nick Viall - Bachelor 21 - Discussion

I was not just speaking of the fantasy world that is the bachelor....nick himself has said he's looking for this great love, and more power to him. But jmo I fear he may be so over idealizing it that he will have passed up good loves along the way, not just onscreen but irl as well.... Maybe not....maybe he'll find a soulmate at 40, 45, 50? But I do hope he gives more than lip service to the idea that real love takes work and sacrifice, etc. I'm not necessarily saying he doesn't....but I am saying I hope in this post breakup period he does examine his expectations....as we all should. Gosh, I'm married more than twenty years and still, after all these years of watching rom coms and the Bach, I still need to remind myself from time to time that real love isn't always hearts and flowers, literally or figuratively....

I never usually weigh in on NV's love life. It is certainly up for discussion. I think Nick is VERY ready for a wife/family, but the elusive female remains at large. I think he falls in love easily, but the other factors get in the way. He has shown his ability to have a long relationship based off of information gathered. But, especially after his first taste of fame, I think he's changed his ways and his expectations. He's sampled more than he maybe should and now wants the golden cuplet. The elusive woman that is model-worthy, ivy-league educated and can still throw down a dirty joke. That woman DOES exist, but she must also be strongly opinionated and challenging. That is few and far between. Also, she must want him back. Doh! The only one I know that holds that title (based on what people post, I never viewed the season), is Sharleen. And she's married. But maybe he needs to look more at his friends for what he really wants versus his same style. He seems like a much better friend than a lover/partner. And that is where his issues begin. IMO.

singanewsong wrote:Nick made the choice to go on 4 versions of bachelor shows to find love and according to him it worked so well that he would have proposed 2x and did propose to Vanessa.  So at the end of it he does seem driven by the fame and attention he really craves and not love, marriage, and children***IMO***.

I'm sorry but this logic makes no sense. How does him deciding to propose to someone equal him being driven by fame and not wanting to find love? Just because the relationship didn't work doesn't mean that he didn't find love with Vanessa and that he didn't genuinely wish that he could have built a life with her. Most relationships fail--that's just a fact of life--but that doesn't mean that they aren't real in the moment. The odds were stacked against them from the get-go; they tried their best but in the end it just wasn't enough and so they broke up. It is what it is.

Kels0012 wrote:I never usually weigh in on NV's love life. It is certainly up for discussion. I think Nick is VERY ready for a wife/family, but the elusive female remains at large. I think he falls in love easily, but the other factors get in the way. He has shown his ability to have a long relationship based off of information gathered. But, especially after his first taste of fame, I think he's changed his ways and his expectations. He's sampled more than he maybe should and now wants the golden cuplet. The elusive woman that is model-worthy, ivy-league educated and can still throw down a dirty joke. That woman DOES exist, but she must also be strongly opinionated and challenging. That is few and far between. Also, she must want him back. Doh! The only one I know that holds that title (based on what people post, I never viewed the season), is Sharleen. And she's married. But maybe he needs to look more at his friends for what he really wants versus his same style. He seems like a much better friend than a lover/partner. And that is where his issues begin. IMO.

Interesting thought about the unusually large sampling....in recent years I'm finding having too many choices has led myself and my family to feel less content and less at peace than having fewer. (And the internet and social media exacerbate this phenomenon, IMO.) One has to really know what is negotiable and what is not, be very centered within oneself, rather than be pulled by the lure of what is hypothetically possible. Bird in the hand vs two in the bush, etc. Was it Buddha who said having desires and expectations is at the root of most of our unhappiness (not sure, off to google)? Maybe nick needs to take up Zen Buddhism or something similar....or maybe I should, ha!

singanewsong wrote:Nick made the choice to go on 4 versions of bachelor shows to find love and according to him it worked so well that he would have proposed 2x and did propose to Vanessa.  So at the end of it he does seem driven by the fame and attention he really craves and not love, marriage, and children. ***IMO***

That or he is the world's most naive person. Sorry but i don't buy the angle of him being a romantic.

Billysmom wrote:I was not just speaking of the fantasy world that is the bachelor....nick himself has said he's looking for this great love, and more power to him. But jmo I fear he may be so over idealizing it that he will have passed up good loves along the way, not just onscreen but irl as well.... Maybe not....maybe he'll find a soulmate at 40, 45, 50? But I do hope he gives more than lip service to the idea that real love takes work and sacrifice, etc. I'm not necessarily saying he doesn't....but I am saying I hope in this post breakup period he does examine his expectations....as we all should. Gosh, I'm married more than twenty years and still, after all these years of watching rom coms and the Bach, I still need to remind myself from time to time that real love isn't always hearts and flowers, literally or figuratively....

I think that Nick definitely has a check-list of his ideal woman but I think that the most important thing for him is to be with someone who he feels like he can be himself around and I think that he just has to find that woman who complements him and who can be strong where he is weak and vice versa. What i gather from Nick is that he knows himself and his weaknesses and so he knows the qualities that he is looking for in a partner that will give him the kind of relationship that he wants. However, I personally believe that the kind of relationship that he wants maybe isn't the best for him. In a way, I do think that Nick got the type of relationship that he was looking for with Vanessa--one that was passionate, open, raw, honest, bold and akin to an epic love--but it was also a relationship that was filled with angst and that I don't think made him very happy at the end of the day.Theoretically, I think he was aiming for more of an Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy love story (two strong-minded people who have banter and challenge each other where there is tug and pull but who love and respect each other at the end of the day) and ended up with a Cathy and Heathcliff scenario instead (in other words, a passionate though tragic love story). I think that Nick wants someone who is different from him which is why he likes women who are extroverted and outgoing (whereas Nick is more of an introvert at heart) but he also wants someone who is similar to him as well so that he could have that comfort level to be able to have a passionate relationship. I still think that Vanessa had a good combination of similarities and differences but at the end of the day I just think that their similarities were too similar and their differences were too different and therefore neither of them were able to provide the right yin and yang to be able to weather the storm that they were under. I think that they struggled and fought alongside each other but I think that what they were lacking was the ability for one person to be strong while the other was weak and vice versa. I think that the love was deep but that their personalities just weren't the right mix for them when it came to confronting problems and unfortunately for them, they did have a lot of problems to confront.

Jmo but i think Nick also needs to move out of la.

I said this already but it bears repeating. Nick needs to go to therapy, move outta LA, stop with the wannabe acting/modeling, and then meet a normal girl who is no way in the entertainment industry. JMO

If he did all things maybe I, and many others, wouldn't find him to be such an intolerable a$$hole.

happydays wrote:

singanewsong wrote:Nick made the choice to go on 4 versions of bachelor shows to find love and according to him it worked so well that he would have proposed 2x and did propose to Vanessa.  So at the end of it he does seem driven by the fame and attention he really craves and not love, marriage, and children. ***IMO***

That or he is the world's most naive person.  Sorry but i don't buy the angle of him being a romantic.

I think that Nick is someone who likes to take risks and live life to the fullest so when he was offered the gig of being the Bachelor, though he had his reservations about it, he went into it with the mentality of "what have I got to lose?" and then hoped for the best. The fact that he was so concerned throughout the process about finding love shows that he went into the experience with an open mind but still a skeptical heart because he knew that there would be no guarantees that he would actually find love given his previous experiences on the show. I think that he genuinely wanted to find love when he accepted the gig but his realistic nature may have caused some confusion to viewers especially when he said things like "I'm not going to pick someone just because I'm the Bachelor". It was a strange thing to say in that world but what he meant was that he wasn't going to force himself to choose someone unless he wanted to propose to that person...and so though I think that Nick's intentions of being on the show were pure, he was also very aware of the fact that it could potentially not work out which is why I tend to believe that Nick went into the experience with the mentality of thinking that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity that could potentially end with him meeting someone special. And for the record, I do believe that Nick is a romantic at heart but given that he's also a realist I think that he/his intentions are generally misunderstood. JMO.

BKay wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] And i was thinking the same thing as both of you!

It could be something as simple as getting their ya-ya's out. that's all.

His words contradict his actions. I'm sorry, if you do the show 4 times, quit your day job, do dancing with the stars, act in a side role in a movie, say that you would be open to being on tv again (as long as it's not a reality show) and attend events like the lee wrangler party, it's pretty hard to refute chris soules's claim that he wants to be famous. Just admit it dude. What else is there to be embarrassed of at this pt.

I don't know what he needs other than to move far, far away from this franchise IMO.  Other than that, he can do what he wants since he's a grown man and it's his life to live. Whatever he does next, I hope it makes him happy and fulfilled.