Rachel Lindsay & Bryan Abasolo - Bachelorette 13 - Discussion

I did discuss with a mod recently, I don't understand why it seems like such a big deal in the America. And I'm not being snarky, I do really having trouble understanding that.

And with all due respect, maybe before judging Rachel so harshly for her response, you can consider that there are elements and aspects of this that you do not fully understand. That hell, people who are Americans themselves but white, do not understand. I've avoided getting into this discussion because frankly, I just don't want to and IMO there are so many deeper issues to this. But I will just say that as others have noted, there are far deeper rooted issues to accusing a black person of only being interested in white people than some may realize.

Yes, interracial couples are more "accepted" but there are still so many comments and criticisms and assumptions made, many times in the black community itself about that. During Nick's season, Rachel said that while she'd dated white guys, it was never serious enough for her to ever bring any of them home to meet her family. That means her most recent ex, the five-year relationship she's talked about, was likely black. And yet, she has gotten judged and brushed with a stroke for having been on Nick's season and now picking a Latino man.

It is because of the many underlying connotations and opinions that come with saying a black woman was only interested in white men that I believe Rachel was more than justified in her response. I didn't find her petty, immature or insecure because what did she really say, other than pointing out the very true fact that Demario himself had a white ex-girlfriend and that Demario doesn't know her. That's all she said.

People know I have never shied from calling Rachel out on her pettiness and some of her Twitter behavior this season. But it's starting to feel like to some, she is not allowed to ever comment on anything negative said about her ever because then the accusations of being petty, insecure start coming. Fact is, Rachel is clearly someone who will never shy away from standing up for herself. Everyone has their own personalities. Some people are great at just ignoring anything negative said about them and others aren't. For crying out loud, Chelsea Clinton gets frustrated enough to respond to trolls and haters on Twitter at times.

Everyone has their trigger points. Just to be clear, I'm not advocating for Rachel to be on social media responding to every silly comment made about her or her and Bryan. But when a situation like this happens and essentially she feels like her character is being attacked, then I fully support her right to speak her mind. Especially when once again, IMO, it wasn't some overly dramatic, rude or outrageous response. All JMO.

Chgohighlife wrote:

Snipped

The fact that I may not get or understand a specific slur against another culture or, religion or, short people or whatever means nothing because the people it was meant to hurt, still very much are hurt. All JMO

This I can totally understand, and this is exactly why I tried to ask why is it considered as character attack to Rachel. If you tell me, this is something about her culture and so, I may get it. But TBH, so far, I can only see posts talked about how bad DeMario was and about Rachel's character being attacked, not about her culture background may make her sensitive to the issue, so I was like, what and what.

Anyway, I don't think I could get it anytime soon.

But I still think for Rachel to fight back like that, it just shows me how insecure she is. As @Spite mentioned, she famed the situation and revealed her own weak spot for the world to see. I never thought too much about that before, but now, her fighting back only got me to think maybe she is not too comfortable to date a white guy too.

I don't see it as hateful. All he was doing was saying that's what they thought during filming and a lot of viewers thought the same thing. I was actually a little disappointed when the f3 could have been anyone's f3 from previous seasons but it is what it is.

I didn't see the episode yet so don't know how it came out but it probably wasn't the best thing to bring up. Rachel should have left it alone imo, especially if any of the other guys chime in and support Demario.

lleyki wrote:

I did discuss with a mod recently, I don't understand why it seems like such a big deal in the America. And I'm not being snarky, I do really having trouble understanding that.

And with all due respect, maybe before judging Rachel so harshly for her response, you can consider that there are elements and aspects of this that you do not fully understand. That hell, people who are Americans themselves but white, do not understand. I've avoided getting into this discussion because frankly, I just don't want to and IMO there are so many deeper issues to this. But I will just say that as others have noted, there are far deeper rooted issues to accusing a black person of only being interested in white people than some may realize.

Yes, interracial couples are more "accepted" but there are still so many comments and criticisms and assumptions made, many times in the black community itself about that. During Nick's season, Rachel said that while she'd dated white guys, it was never serious enough for her to ever bring any of them home to meet her family. That means her most recent ex, the five-year relationship she's talked about, was likely black. And yet, she has gotten judged and brushed with a stroke for having been on Nick's season and now picking a Latino man.

It is because of the many underlying connotations and opinions that come with saying a black woman was only interested in white men that I believe Rachel was more than justified in her response. I didn't find her petty, immature or insecure because what did she really say, other than pointing out the very true fact that Demario himself had a white ex-girlfriend and that Demario doesn't know her. That's all she said.

People know I have never shied from calling Rachel out on her pettiness and some of her Twitter behavior this season. But it's starting to feel like to some, she is not allowed to ever comment on anything negative said about her ever because then the accusations of being petty, insecure start coming. Fact is, Rachel is clearly someone who will never shy away from standing up for herself. Everyone has their own personalities. Some people are great at just ignoring anything negative said about them and others aren't. For crying out loud, Chelsea Clinton gets frustrated enough to respond to trolls and haters on Twitter at times.

Everyone has their trigger points. Just to be clear, I'm not advocating for Rachel to be on social media responding to every silly comment made about her or her and Bryan. But when a situation like this happens and essentially she feels like her character is being attacked, then I fully support her right to speak her mind. Especially when once again, IMO, it wasn't some overly dramatic, rude or outrageous response. All JMO.

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Eh I don't think Demario was trying to be hurtful but he definitely knew what he was doing. I think this is has many layers and everyone is not going to get it. With that being said she needs to learn to pick and choose her battles, this is not worth her time IMO.

Alanna wrote:Maybe I'd understand that this specific line of criticism by Demario is especially hurtful and deserves a response if she didn't feel the need to clap back all the time to pretty much anything. Good thing she's back with B and "doesn't have time today" I'm guessing

She really doesn't clapback unless it's a race issue or about Bryan (which she admitted she can't deal with). She had one or two petty ones like "thanks for keeping me trending, girl!", but she got dragged for the Dean breakup (people were vicious that night) and she stayed quiet. They were people calling her low-class and sl*tty for grinding on Bryan and she said nothing. There were people who said she was obsessed and only cared about her ring and she said nothing. People said she had too many ads and she said nothing. I agree that she should just stay off social media, because it just gives the trolls more attention and her haterz room to criticize, but I don't see her going after people for everything. My other fave regularly has twitter fights because people call her skinny or make fun of her tan or too many ads; that's "pretty much everything". This seems relatively selective. I've never seen another lead have to simultaneously deal with racism and her fiancé being hated, so it's hard to compare her to anyone else . She's overly sensitive and impulsive, but even I (who am neither of those things) would be getting into twitter fights over some of the ish she deals with. IMO.

jalkire wrote:Eh I don't think Demario was trying to be hurtful but he definitely knew what he was doing. I think this is has many layers and everyone is not going to get it. With that being said she needs to learn to pick and choose her battles, this is not worth her time IMO.

DeMario essentially stated that the first night they knew Rachel would bring one black guy to the end as the token black guy and have all her other three be white because she just had "that vibe" and you could just tell it. He then proceeded to add an anecdote suggesting that she didn't even try with the black guys, saying how Kenny was talking about his daughter and Rachel barely looked like she cared or was interested. Sure he didn't mean it to be rude and hurtful.

They were people calling her low-class and sl*tty for grinding on Bryan and she said nothing.

Ah yes, the sl*t shaming. My favorite were the comments to her that she was acting out because she settled of course and who she really wanted to be with she's not and she is trying so desperately to seem happy that she was compensating with alcohol and acting out because this behavior was clearly not who she is. Ah, good times.

@Aria I agree I don't think she claps back as much as people make it out to be. However in this case I know for me the reason I'm being hard on her is because Demario is an idiot I just don't want her to pay him any mind.

Aria wrote:

Alanna wrote:Maybe I'd understand that this specific line of criticism by Demario is especially hurtful and deserves a response if she didn't feel the need to clap back all the time to pretty much anything. Good thing she's back with B and "doesn't have time today" I'm guessing

She really doesn't clapback unless it's a race issue or about Bryan (which she admitted she can't deal with). She had one or two petty ones like "thanks for keeping me trending, girl!", but she got dragged for the Dean breakup (people were vicious that night) and she stayed quiet. They were people calling her low-class and sl*tty for grinding on Bryan and she said nothing. There were people who said she was obsessed and only cared about her ring and she said nothing. People said she had too many ads and she said nothing. I agree that she should just stay off social media, because it just gives the trolls more attention and her haterz room to criticize, but I don't see her going after people for everything. My other fave regularly has twitter fights because people call her skinny or make fun of her tan or too many ads; that's "pretty much everything". This seems relatively selective. I've never seen another lead have to simultaneously deal with racism and her fiancé being hated, so it's hard to compare her to anyone else . She's overly sensitive and impulsive, but even I (who am neither of those things) would be getting into twitter fights over some of the ish she deals with. IMO.

Wish i could like this post 100x

Alanna wrote:Maybe I'd understand that this specific line of criticism by Demario is especially hurtful and deserves a response if she didn't feel the need to clap back all the time to pretty much anything. Good thing she's back with B and "doesn't have time today" I'm guessing

albean99 wrote:I don't see it as hateful. All he was doing was saying that's what they thought during filming and a lot of viewers thought the same thing. I was actually a little disappointed when the f3 could have been anyone's f3 from previous seasons but it is what it is.

I didn't see the episode yet so don't know how it came out but it probably wasn't the best thing to bring up. Rachel should have left it alone imo, especially if any of the other guys chime in and support Demario.

These posts!!!
I don't think the comment meant anything and I judged Rachel because of her behaviour in the past year.

Aria wrote:

Alanna wrote:Maybe I'd understand that this specific line of criticism by Demario is especially hurtful and deserves a response if she didn't feel the need to clap back all the time to pretty much anything. Good thing she's back with B and "doesn't have time today" I'm guessing

She really doesn't clapback unless it's a race issue or about Bryan (which she admitted she can't deal with). She had one or two petty ones like "thanks for keeping me trending, girl!", but she got dragged for the Dean breakup (people were vicious that night) and she stayed quiet. They were people calling her low-class and sl*tty for grinding on Bryan and she said nothing. There were people who said she was obsessed and only cared about her ring and she said nothing. People said she had too many ads and she said nothing. I agree that she should just stay off social media, because it just gives the trolls more attention and her haterz room to criticize, but I don't see her going after people for everything. My other fave regularly has twitter fights because people call her skinny or make fun of her tan or too many ads; that's "pretty much everything". This seems relatively selective. I've never seen another lead have to simultaneously deal with racism and her fiancé being hated, so it's hard to compare her to anyone else . She's overly sensitive and impulsive, but even I (who am neither of those things) would be getting into twitter fights over some of the ish she deals with. IMO.

Yes! Couldn't have said it better myself.

@lleyki on point!

Aria wrote:

Alanna wrote:Maybe I'd understand that this specific line of criticism by Demario is especially hurtful and deserves a response if she didn't feel the need to clap back all the time to pretty much anything. Good thing she's back with B and "doesn't have time today" I'm guessing

She really doesn't clapback unless it's a race issue or about Bryan (which she admitted she can't deal with). She had one or two petty ones like "thanks for keeping me trending, girl!", but she got dragged for the Dean breakup (people were vicious that night) and she stayed quiet. They were people calling her low-class and sl*tty for grinding on Bryan and she said nothing. There were people who said she was obsessed and only cared about her ring and she said nothing. People said she had too many ads and she said nothing. I agree that she should just stay off social media, because it just gives the trolls more attention and her haterz room to criticize, but I don't see her going after people for everything. My other fave regularly has twitter fights because people call her skinny or make fun of her tan or too many ads; that's "pretty much everything". This seems relatively selective. I've never seen another lead have to simultaneously deal with racism and her fiancé being hated, so it's hard to compare her to anyone else . She's overly sensitive and impulsive, but even I (who am neither of those things) would be getting into twitter fights over some of the ish she deals with. IMO.

Exactly! Rachel has not responded to A LOT! In fact, I think she has been incredibly restrained.