Re: Nick Viall - Bachelor 21 - FAN Forum - Discussion #25

[AllAboutLove]

This is a great article that I think describes Nick well. An extroverted introvert:

http://www.lifehack.org/297304/19-real-life-examples-extroverted-introvert-you-dont-get-confused

I love that article. That's the original article for this tweet that Nick liked. As soon as I read it I immediately saw why Nick liked it, I was just nodding my head   

All I can say is, for Nick, my heart hurts for him. He was a great lead, never slept with the contestants other than his F1, and did all he could do to be as open and honest as he could be. He's had a rough go of it and SM and media hating on him now when he doesn't deserve it imo and done nothing to warrant it especially considering past bach leads. Anyway, just as a longtime Nick fan... Nick if you are reading this... wishing you all the best and for your happiness  

[notarose]

Changing topic a bit
TVParty App - I'm fairly certain Vanessa's PR agent is also rep for the app because Lori Kreb was promoting it on Twitter for Big Brother and other shows before Nick was brought on board. Nether here nor there I suppose but YIKES Nick having to continue to be accessible to fans at this time twice weekly until BIP ends is like medieval times were someone is put in the stocks in the town square for days on end.
When does BIP stop airing?

Ashley and Jared seem to be part of that App now too.........maybe they are going to used to relieve Nick of doing it if it is something he doesn't want to continue...or maybe he wants to continue who knows?

True.
He certainly will go about some or all of his routine because life needs some normalcy. I was thinking more about how uncomfortable it will/would be for Nick to be alone in his apartment having to engage with show fans.
I might be wrong but I think I read that different alumni would be joining in week to week.

@jane781 I would imagine she moved out as quickly as she moved in. During a breakup friends are needed. It would be odd for her stay with her foundation in Montreal plus there could be entertainment opportunities if she doesn't want to go back to teaching right away.

[OnePromise]

Nick seems to seek out Sharleen's wisdom when working through matters of the heart, esp those related to the shows. I thought it was a little strange when he was spending time at her Bachelorette party without Vanessa. Sharleen and Nick are really very similar and I think it helps him to hear her perspective on things. It is so nice that she seems to be defending him on SM with her latest Twitter post:

Because Vanessa was in Canada celebrating her nephew's birthday. And Nick showing up to sharleen's party was a surprise to sharleen herself.

Yes @happydays that makes sense but I think the fact that Nick showed up (surprise or not) supports his desire to get input from Sharleen. And who wouldn't? She appears to be a level headed, well rounded and wise friend very capable of lending supportive advice and a positive atmosphere for Nick when I am sure he was starting to feel the weight of the decision to end his relationship with Vanessa.

@AllAboutLove, I strongly identify with the article being an introvert required to be extroverted in my line of work. I didn't know that Nick liked it. I also agree with the disappointment that Nick has to go through another public heartbreak.

[Billysmom]

I really hope nick didn't spoil the shower by bringing breakup talk into it..... Hopefully he was considerate enough to wait a bit, jmo

[OnePromise]

@Billysmom I'm pretty sure that Nick didn't spoil anything for Sharleen and the ladies at her Bachelorette party. They looked like they had a wonderful time. I think that he is wise enough to bring up the breakup at the opportune time...whenever that might be...party or not. I also have a feeling Sharleen would take joy in encouraging a friend no matter when it might occur...party or not.

[joie irene]

I honestly believe they gave it all they could and I have so much respect for Vanessa. From what we have shown through their SM she did sacrifice so much to be with Nick like moving and supporting him with all her heart and of course she can't just leave behind her family that's part of who she is. Don't get me wrong I am a fan of both of them individually but sometimes I thought Nick didn't really return that? Maybe that's because of his personality? Who knows. I just think Nick needs to take a break and therapy maybe because after all this broken engagements I think I would be a hot mess myself. and Vanessa needs to find a fun / cheesy guy who would give the reassurance she needs in a relationship and Nick, He needs to stop with strong women and try a New type, he is strong himself and sometimes in a relationship there has to be someone who lay low and let the other one be the center and he isn't the type to lay low

[George1218]

I am so sad for both of them! I really thought they would make it!

[AllAboutLove]

@AllAboutLove, I strongly identify with the article being an introvert required to be extroverted in my line of work. I didn't know that Nick liked it. I also agree with the disappointment that Nick has to go through another public heartbreak.

Me too! So much of it I relate to. In fact, my partner and I were talking about the article today and just how much we both are those types of people when it comes to where our energy source comes from and how neither of us could handle having to be "on" with each other. It's just how we're wired and nothing wrong with being an introvert or extrovert, it more is about compatibility and some relationships work awesome when they are intro/extro and some when they are more similar energy source baselines for both in the relationship. I think knowing oneself well makes that easier to know if that relationship will work over time. I can see Nick and V knowing themselves well and after time spent together realizing this and having had that discussion and realizing that it wasn't sustainable in their case.

As for Nick liking that tweet - it definitely shows me he likely knows more of this about himself and now more so both of them know what works for them and what didn't and why I believe the mismatch of personality differences is definitely the main reason for a split. They tried to make it work after getting to know each other in the real world and as the article said, Vanessa wanted Nick to be more out of his shell and outgoing and I think he tried that but it's ultimately not who he is and so I think they discussed this and realized that it's not something they can just change about themselves like a job or where one lives. Nick could have moved to Montreal and the result would have been the exact same imo. It was baseline personalities, where each of them get their energy source from and if it's in two different ways and one partner wants the other to change their baseline personality that's just not sustainable. Nick would be drained emotionally and physically and feel like he is walking on eggshells and Vanessa would feel like she is bored out of her mind and frustrated about having to not be out and about. Because from following her and just the photo of Vanessa on the piano here she seems like she craves more outgoing socializing and things and bigger groups. I think that can work in different relationships, but with Nick and V, I just don't think it was sustainable and I expect spending their time together and in the real world they realized this and made the mature call that they have. 

But yeah, I still feel bad for Nick. He gets the hate and always will on SM and media and it can't be easy. Yes he put himself there but still. He never led any of the girls on, he was open and honest as he could be, never slept with any of them other than his F1, never told any of them he was in love with them other than F1, just did his best. And his ending is really no different from the majority of leads. I wish him well and happiness 

[Skates]

@AllAboutLove, I strongly identify with the article being an introvert required to be extroverted in my line of work. I didn't know that Nick liked it. I also agree with the disappointment that Nick has to go through another public heartbreak.

Me too! So much of it I relate to. In fact, my partner and I were talking about the article today and just how much we both are those types of people when it comes to where our energy source comes from and how neither of us could handle having to be "on" with each other. It's just how we're wired and nothing wrong with being an introvert or extrovert, it more is about compatibility and some relationships work awesome when they are intro/extro and some when they are more similar energy source baselines for both in the relationship. I think knowing oneself well makes that easier to know if that relationship will work over time. I can see Nick and V knowing themselves well and after time spent together realizing this and having had that discussion and realizing that it wasn't sustainable in their case.

As for Nick liking that tweet - it definitely shows me he likely knows more of this about himself and now more so both of them know what works for them and what didn't and why I believe the mismatch of personality differences is definitely the main reason for a split. They tried to make it work after getting to know each other in the real world and as the article said, Vanessa wanted Nick to be more out of his shell and outgoing and I think he tried that but it's ultimately not who he is and so I think they discussed this and realized that it's not something they can just change about themselves like a job or where one lives. Nick could have moved to Montreal and the result would have been the exact same imo. It was baseline personalities, where each of them get their energy source from and if it's in two different ways and one partner wants the other to change their baseline personality that's just not sustainable. Nick would be drained emotionally and physically and feel like he is walking on eggshells and Vanessa would feel like she is bored out of her mind and frustrated about having to not be out and about. Because from following her and just the photo of Vanessa on the piano here she seems like she craves more outgoing socializing and things and bigger groups. I think that can work in different relationships, but with Nick and V, I just don't think it was sustainable and I expect spending their time together and in the real world they realized this and made the mature call that they have. 

But yeah, I still feel bad for Nick. He gets the hate and always will on SM and media and it can't be easy. Yes he put himself there but still. He never led any of the girls on, he was open and honest as he could be, never slept with any of them other than his F1, never told any of them he was in love with them other than F1, just did his best. And his ending is really no different from the majority of leads. I wish him well and happiness 

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/patti-stanger-comments-on-nick-viall-vanessa-grimaldi-split-w499652

       -  IMO  -   I am kind of curious about Patti's comments...what are the chances that Nissa will get back together? I don't think they are that incompatible, I believe distance is more a major issue...when Nick gets more exposures from Hollywood appearances, he will get use to being comfortable in bigger crowds. Nick probably doesn't want the hassle in travelling around back and forth from US to Canada. Vanessa may have felt like she is happier back home since she is all by herself mostly in the United States. If there is real feelings involved, the pain in heart break will come in more intensively during the time when they are apart...missing each other more during those times...I wonder what will happen next...   -  IMO  -

[notarose]

@skates We don't know all that much about Vanessa and how she dealt with past breakups but a fair amount is known about Nick. I think a break up announcement from him means a permanent breakup. JMO

[OnePromise]

@AllAboutLove, thanks for sharing about your own relationship. My husband and I are complete opposites so we have had challenges seeing eye to eye at times. I have spent years helping him to understand the inner workings and value of an introvert, not mention the very real needs of battery charging alone time.  Over the years, he has seen how much better our relationship can be when I have the time to become an energized person again.

@notarose I agree that it seems Nick and Vanessa's breakup is intended to be final. Of course the romantic in me wishes it otherwise. Those epic romance stories keep tugging.

[Mochaginj]

@Skates I have the same optimism. I really believe if they really love/loved each other that they will be drawn back to each other in the end. I think being in the spotlight has not helped. And I will be forever hopeful that once this dies down and they get back to normal lives they will realise they can't be without each other. I really believe they have a deep connection and IMO that doesn't just disappear. In saying that I wish them both the very best

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