Dr. Bryan Abasolo - Bachelorette 13 - Discussion - #4

Fair point @mindless. Oh, you accept my flaws while you're falling in love with me? Cool. Will you still accept them when I haven't done the dishes in two weeks?

But I do think you can (sometimes) get a strong sense one way or the other fairly quickly, so I'm still hopeful.

kerriway wrote:On the first episode/night Bryan says, ‘I got it bad for her’ and in another episode ‘I came here for Rachel... let her see that the other guys aren’t as serious as I am.’

IMO this is no different than when Shawn circled Kaitlyn’s face on his TV screen and said he was going to go get his girl.

Bryan was a man on a mission. He wanted Rachel and it showed.

I’ve seen comments here and on SM discussing Bryan’s ‘tactics’ advantage of Miami/Colombian Latin lover background/PUA techniques/smooth lines to get Rachel and I’m trying to make sense of it all/be objective.

I’ve read the Game by Neil Strauss twice. I’ve never disliked PUAs (at least not the original ones anyway) IMO they started out as a group of socially awkward/nerdy guys that couldn’t get a date. Through scientific study/trial and error they found ways to increase their chances of getting girls. Some guys in the book just wanted girlfriends or wives, many others let their initial success with girls go their head and began to play women. IMO this is not Bryan, he was already being sought after midway through high school, by his own admission.

However, even those PUAs usually made it clear they weren’t looking for a relationship.  In the end, it’s up to an individual, guy or girl, to ask the right questions and feel out people when they are attracted someone. If they seem like they’re playing you then you decide whether to walk away.  Let me add, that
I do not respect guys who lie to women about their intentions.

The only thing Bryan did on the first episode was speak to Rachel in Spanish, tell her she was in trouble (btw he wasn’t lying, she was in trouble ), and go for a kiss. Every guy did something to try and set themselves apart on the first night. Yet it seems that Bryan’s being blamed because Rachel liked it?

Yes, in my experience Latin/Miami guys seem more forward in pursuing women and ‘smoother’ in compliments than other guys that I’ve dated but that only helps them with their initial impression and giving a girl the ‘excitement feelz’, it does not work past a few dates. The guy’s personality will come through.

Besides, most Miami girls (and other women in other places) that I know are already trying to gauge whether a guy is feeding lines, has a secret wife, etc. when they first meet them. (I know, sucks to be a millennial).

Rachel was skeptical of Bryan, she said he later proved to her that he was sincere. IMO if they break up, it will be for the same reasons that any of the other couples broke up, not because Bryan’s a player.

great great post.If he came in a costume or playing a instrument he would be ok I see a beautiful love, that makes this season great for me. This is what make me watch, when you have two people who fell so hard, it's been a long time coming. Listening to Rachel post taping, she is all in to make this work.

@lleyki great post also. I heard Rachel say today that she is so in love, something about giving it another name. As I have said you know when someone cares about you. Bryan and Rachel has love all over them

I'm not gonna lie, I was definitely not interested in watching Bryan at all pre-season even though I had no doubt back then he'd be F1 as he seemed like the only one Rach was into per BL and Ep 5 1on1 date (which was a stat clincher, IMO). Everything about Bryan pre-season I was like "nope" and coupled with being kind of meh on Rach at that time I was ready to skim through this season.

Then the first spoiler came out and I was totally shocked as I couldn't see Rach picking anyone but Bryan. So I decided for sure I am going to watch and sleuth this season for F1 regardless of the spoiler (and lots of that sleuthing was BTS in pm with others at the time) and in part why I posted along with others during first SHV about the MIA/silence for Bryan and Rach because it was lining up with some other BTS sleuthing that pointed to Bryan for F1 early on when the first spoiler was still out. Still, at that point it was solely for sleuthing to see if Bryan may be F1 even if I was super skeptical of him.

However, once the season was underway, I was immediately struck by how different Bryan was from what I expected him to be. Sure he was confident but he never came across arrogant or insincere to me. And so while my thoughts that Bryan may be F1 never really changed, my perspective on Bryan began to change dramatically. I recall even posting back then how much Bryan was winning me over and just how in disbelief I was about that. And the biggest thing that stood out for me was that Bryan was totally there for Rach and I had no doubt whatsoever he was into her. He wasn't about the drama, he was her rock, he was a great listener to the other guys and overrall definitely not this cray alpha that I thought he was going to be... but rather just there for Rach all the way in every way (physically, emotionally, etc).

As I've been watching this season, I have seen a love story unfold between Bryan and Rach. Two people who couldn't believe the other existed and both speaking each other's love language from the getgo and on the same wavelength. A love story of reciprocity and bliss at how they may have found their "too good to be true" in each other and yet still able to talk about flaws, doubts, etc but always building on their connection. And it was this undeniable connection between Rach and Bryan... that *it* factor...that made me stay watching through all the BS disgusting drama TPTB put on screen.

Even more than that, I loved that Bryan made Rach shine even brighter IMO and how giddy Rach was around Bryan - she just lights up around him and as she said he makes her feel "safe" and most importantly, that she feels...accepted - flaws and all - and no man other than Bryan has ever made her feel that way. Honestly to me that is what everyone wants to find... to be loved and accepted - flaws and all.

It's why I am thrilled for Rach indeed if she chose Bryan! Because no doubt to me Bryan is the best choice Rach could have made and the only choice for her IMO. Whether they last or not, who knows with this show being what it is and life being what it is, but I hope they do and have a wonderful life together where they can one day pass those matching watches of theirs down to their children.

ALL JMO and apologies for the length.

I think we have seen men who didn't accept and said they did on the show. Josh got mad at Andi for the lie detector date. Now think of Kaitlyn freaking out about telling Shawn about sex with Nick. Shawn didn't like it, but he accepted and moved on right away. Rachel has spent plenty of time with Peter and given others GDRs over Bryan. He just keeps rolling along. So I do think so far Bryan is showing a general accepting vibe. He showed that same vibe with his mom.

JMO.

@AllAboutLove, Awesome post! I agree with every single word.  

IMO R & B's relationship is as strong as it can go on this show. As long as their core values align and they want the same things with each other, they are mature and settled ,which they seem to, and they have the chemistry passion, and they are comfortable in each others company and accept each other cheesy lines and all, --they are good to go imo. From their comments it looks like they have had these convos that cover the basics to make them comfortable enough to get engaged. Its unrealistic to expect anyone to know anyone 100% going into a marriage(imo). Knowing some one that well takes years! and its unrealistic to expect a couple to "pre-solve" problems that come with marriages.
OTOH, for all the "deep convos" that R & P are having , I don't see the relationship growing at all. It feels like Peter is still figuring out what it is he feels for R. Its 7 weeks in and R wants a proposal.--and that's one other thing where they are not on the same page----of course the other one being that they don't speak the same love language-,she is physical he isn't. I would say these 2 things are very important to Rachel . Just some of the reasons I think Bryan is her F1. AJMO

AllAboutLove wrote:I'm not gonna lie, I was definitely not interested in watching Bryan at all pre-season even though I had no doubt back then he'd be F1 as he seemed like the only one Rach was into per BL and Ep 5 1on1 date (which was a stat clincher, IMO). Everything about Bryan pre-season I was like "nope" and coupled with being kind of meh on Rach at that time I was ready to skim through this season.

Then the first spoiler came out and I was totally shocked as I couldn't see Rach picking anyone but Bryan. So I decided for sure I am going to watch and sleuth this season for F1 regardless of the spoiler (and lots of that sleuthing was BTS in pm with others at the time) and in part why I posted along with others during first SHV about the MIA/silence for Bryan and Rach because it was lining up with some other BTS sleuthing that pointed to Bryan for F1 early on when the first spoiler was still out. Still, at that point it was solely for sleuthing to see if Bryan may be F1 even if I was super skeptical of him.

However, once the season was underway, I was immediately struck by how different Bryan was from what I expected him to be. Sure he was confident but he never came across arrogant or insincere to me. And so while my thoughts that Bryan may be F1 never really changed, my perspective on Bryan began to change dramatically. I recall even posting back then how much Bryan was winning me over and just how in disbelief I was about that. And the biggest thing that stood out for me was that Bryan was totally there for Rach and I had no doubt whatsoever he was into her. He wasn't about the drama, he was her rock, he was a great listener to the other guys and overrall definitely not this cray alpha that I thought he was going to be... but rather just there for Rach all the way in every way (physically, emotionally, etc).

As I've been watching this season, I have seen a love story unfold between Bryan and Rach. Two people who couldn't believe the other existed and both speaking each other's love language from the getgo and on the same wavelength. A love story of reciprocity and bliss at how they may have found their "too good to be true" in each other and yet still able to talk about flaws, doubts, etc but always building on their connection. And it was this undeniable connection between Rach and Bryan... that *it* factor...that made me stay watching through all the BS disgusting drama TPTB put on screen.

Even more than that, I loved that Bryan made Rach shine even brighter IMO and how giddy Rach was around Bryan - she just lights up around him and as she said he makes her feel "safe" and most importantly, that she feels...accepted - flaws and all - and no man other than Bryan has ever made her feel that way. Honestly to me that is what everyone wants to find... to be loved and accepted - flaws and all.

It's why I am thrilled for Rach indeed if she chose Bryan! Because no doubt to me Bryan is the best choice Rach could have made and the only choice for her IMO. Whether they last or not, who knows with this show being what it is and life being what it is, but I hope they do and have a wonderful life together where they can one day pass those matching watches of theirs down to their children.

ALL JMO and apologies for the length.

Love it, ya'll making me cry with these beautiful post.

@AllAboutLove great post！seeing how happy Bryan makes Rachel, I am totally rooting for them.

It appears Bryan has his condo for rent, it appears he'll be moving to Dallas or they are moving somewhere together. IMO they've discussed a lot of things. You don't make these types of moves in your life without making sure that you absolutely want to be together.

If two people love each other, they'll make it work IMHO. Every season it appears they don't show the love story, so much is left on the cutting room floor. To me this season is no different. However the little that we do see when they are together, Rachel's facial expression when he said he didn't want to leave hometowns without telling her he was in love with her, or when they spoke about fairy tales, he couldn't believe that she wasn't on board with that. What did you get us into when they were on their 1:1 date or the excitement on his SM about the HTD epi coming up.

Rachel has made no bones about it since filming ending, coming through that airport jumping with joy. That kiss that swept her off her feet, which I had no doubt was Bryan was the beginning of the love story for me. Especially since she wouldn't stop talking and gushing about it during media tours.

Post filming, one of the things they have going for in their favour besides their lust for one another, is their age, and maturity level which IMO is already shining through. As per Rachel they discuss the epi's, she explains it and they move. This is how a mature couple discuss every day issues.

I'm looking forward to seeing them on the ATFR, (cringing a bit because I don't trust CH and their motives) and also going forward, their plans for the future and of course hand placement and body language which hasn't disappointed me yet!

I watched one of Rachel's interviews today, the E! News one, where Rachel said that he has been her rock. He's been strong when she was weak. That is exactly the conversation she and Bryan had with each other. No one else. WooHoo!

composer53 wrote:I watched one of Rachel's interviews today, the E! News one, where Rachel said that he has been her rock.  He's been strong when she was weak.  That is exactly the conversation she and Bryan had with each other.  No one else.  WooHoo!

Rach and Bryan had that exact conversation and the fact that Rach said her F1 (Bryan based on all sleuthing) has been her rock shows me Bryan is a man whose actions match his words. 

Which is exactly why none of Bryan's words are cliches to me. Cliches are empty words with no action to back them up. Bryan is a man of his word and backs his words up with actions - per Rachel herself about Bryan (sleuthed to be F1).


JMO

AllAboutLove wrote:

composer53 wrote:I watched one of Rachel's interviews today, the E! News one, where Rachel said that he has been her rock.  He's been strong when she was weak.  That is exactly the conversation she and Bryan had with each other.  No one else.  WooHoo!

Rach and Bryan had that exact conversation and the fact that Rach said her F1 (Bryan based on all sleuthing) has been her rock shows me Bryan is a man whose actions match his words. 

Which is exactly why none of Bryan's words are cliches to me. Cliches are empty words with no action to back them up. Bryan is a man of his word and backs his words up with actions - per Rachel herself about Bryan (sleuthed to be F1).


JMO

Exactly! He's always up under Rachel, never at a distance m