Dr. Bryan Abasolo - Bachelorette 13 - *Sleuthing Spoilers* - #2

Lara wrote:

Tiggerlgh wrote:I just looked up Josh's tweet (now I need a shower blah). He said friend but this is Josh

https://twitter.com/joshallanmurray/status/866830240001208320

Good luck to my friend Bryan on night 1, show that Miami swag

He was asked by Hannah Kahn on extra and he said he met Bryan briefly at a club shortly before Bryan left for filming and he only knows him a little bit.

Oh I believe that. This is Josh trying to remain relevant they aren't really friends imho. I just bought over the actual language as it was asked about.

mercieme wrote:I happen to believe all male species have PUA moves as y'all have been describing. The difference is the perception IMO. The moves could be aggressive, smooth, ridiculous or awkward but IMO PU moves are innate to all male species even in the lower animal kingdom

perception has a lot to do with it and some guys do it naturally but I felt like Bryan was doing them so consistently esp the first night (which is when we heard him talk the most)... Alanna has listed the moves I've noticed Bryan using

IMO others might disagree but I don't see PUA or guys using tactics to take advantage of women for sex....
I've seen guys using the moves - just to give another example of a move PUA use to gain the upper hand with a woman and to "create attraction" which is the ultimate goal e.g. I saw a guy once trying to use a move called "negging" which is a way of backhanded complimenting to make a girl want to prove herself to a guy. "you look pretty when you're trying to act like nobody here is worth your time" this results in a woman feeling "judged" as being snobbish or whatnot and wanting to "prove herself" and explaining "no no I wasn't trying to ignore guys/anyone" etc etc. and the guy gains the upper hand buying him attention and a conversation opener even if she wasn't initially attracted to him.

whatever the case may be yes indeed - whatever moves whether natural or otherwise got him to the final so good on him, I guess.

all jmo

Alanna wrote:

AllAboutLove wrote:If high-fiving is a PUA move then I guess a lot of couples who high five each other are PUAs to each other in their own relationship.

No. PUA literally means Pick Up Artist, once they're picked up, game is over

The game is never over :halo:


Seriously though, JMO but I think that list is ridiculous. I don't see anything positive about being a Pick-up Artist (the specific term and what it means) and I definitely don't categorize all men as PUAs. 

While I have no doubt that plenty of guys may use pickup lines or tactics, I happen to think (and personally know) there are also men that are just sincerely themselves and don't use tactics or pick-up lines.

With Bryan, watching him with Rachel, I only see a guy who is genuinely interested in Rachel.

There has to be a lot more to Bryan than these lines. If he didn't have substance he wouldn't have been in the F2. Rachel is too smart for that and I am sure gas seen more than her fair share of PUAs.

Alanna wrote:

bleuberry wrote:Wait this is actually a thing? Right down to the high five? 

Hey now, I didn't write the book but google it, it's a whole THING!

Just read back a few pages and this is exactly what it felt like. A game. And before anyone says that it worked or that Rachel loved it, I know!  


Still don't like it.

Tbh he didn't have a great first impression on Ellen and then stepped out of the limo and was all 'I'm trouble.' Kind of started off on an annoying foot for me but we'll see how things go.

bleuberry wrote:

Alanna wrote:

bleuberry wrote:Wait this is actually a thing? Right down to the high five? 

Hey now, I didn't write the book but google it, it's a whole THING!

Just read back a few pages and this is exactly what it felt like. A game. And before anyone says that it worked or that Rachel loved it, I know!  

Still don't like it.

Rachel not only liked it she LOVED it... I mean all the other non-assertive boys weren't even getting second glances from her!
@alanna girl! they have PUA conferences, training, symposiums, several books, tv shows etc. etc. it's a HUGE thing not just a thing  

That's why I said it's about time someone with those moves wins the bette cos it's gone 13 seasons too long with how infamous those moves are!!

lexforlife wrote:So, where is the feet today. This wknd should be SHV, so, anything from Bryan?

Nothing yet but definitely watching the feet tonight and tomorrow

Alanna wrote:

MiaHawk wrote:From what I gather, this term "Pick Up Artists" you are all using refers to men who are just looking to use a woman (for sex)? So, this would be a guy who uses "tactics" with the intention of fooling a woman into thinking that they really care for her, but they don't? So, this PUA is a man with "bad intentions"-to lie and use a woman for his own gains?

Here it is:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game:_Penetrating_the_Secret_Society_of_Pickup_Artists

A good deal of the book focuses on how to obtain the elusive upper hand, or just hand, in a relationship. Strauss advocates various methods, mostly from the point of view of heterosexual men. He offers further guidelines for the process of seduction, which include preparing things to say before going out and telling groups of women surreptitiously impressive stories. He also uses "false time constraints" (a reason that the conversation could end very soon) to put the woman of interest in a situation where she must convince the man she is interesting, discusses how to very slowly increase the amount of physical contact, and more.

Bryan literally uses those tactics or moves or whatever you call them. I have no idea myself if it's from this book or natural or what.

Thank you for the link.

I just want to say that I consider myself to be someone who watches this show with the main purpose of watching inter-personal relationships between the men and women. It is in my nature to be interested in people, personalities, behavior, relationships. I certainly hope that I don't fall under the label of "Student of the Art of the Pick Up"!

Seriously, even the description of the book (in that wikipedia link) describes learning the "tactics" in order to either "get an upper hand" OR "get a hand". In other words, they will teach you social skills and flirting techniques to help you, but the intentions behind how you use them is up to you. So, you might be an "ubernerd" who just wants to learn how to talk to a girl OR you may want to "seduce" women in order to get the upper hand!

Personally, I find the term and the concept of "seduction" to gain the upper hand over a woman to be kind of laughable. Like I said, unless you are lying or a boss flirting with an employee, there is nothing that can be gained from flirting UNLESS the person on the receiving end WANTS to respond positively to you. I do not believe in a Svengali. I do not believe in women as merely passive receivers who can't think for themselves or make decisions about who to like, they are just sitting there in a bar waiting to b e manipulated. No. I just don't see women that way. I believe that men and women are equals. Which means that they are equally capable of flirting, deciding, and moving forward or not. Just the fact that some posters here have a negative impression of Bryan because he appears "too smooth" tells me that these so-called PUA tactics aren't a magic bullet that can slay all females. So, if a nervous, uncomfortable, less confident (less alpha) kind of guy appeals to you, you're probably not going to be drawn to Bryan. But I don't think it has anything to do with what Bryan is doing. Rather, I think that it has to do with what personality traits we each as individual viewers find attractive or endearing. I just don't see the point in assuming that because a guy has good interpersonal social skills that he must have bad intentions. JMHOAA.

bleuberry wrote:

Alanna wrote:

bleuberry wrote:Wait this is actually a thing? Right down to the high five? 

Hey now, I didn't write the book but google it, it's a whole THING!

Just read back a few pages and this is exactly what it felt like. A game. And before anyone says that it worked or that Rachel loved it, I know!  


Still don't like it.

Tbh he didn't have a great first impression on Ellen and then stepped out of the limo and was all 'I'm trouble.' Kind of started off on an annoying foot for me but we'll see how things go.

Rachel took it to mean SHE was in trouble, not that he's trouble kinda funny. She's basically asking for it!! She does love it.

@Alanna oops, it was 'girl, you in trouble' *gags* ok I'm done.

bleuberry wrote:@Alanna oops, it was 'girl, you in trouble' *gags* ok I'm done.

LMAO but look at Rach!! She freaking died over it while we (you and me) were gagging Whatevs. I'm excited to see where it goes. I agree with whoever posted upthread that there has got to be more about him than this nonsense.

@MiaHawk I wouldn't say it's equivalent to "social skills" imo. Here's a very brief summary from quora to give a glimpse:

1. You can only "game" a woman with whom you are prepared to fail (if you find yourself wanting her too badly, you'll never have her)
2. Exude extreme confidence
3. Demonstrate some kind of value, skill or talent NEAR your target, but not directly to her. Initially, pretend you don't even notice her.
4. Win over her friends
5. Be hard to get
6. Be fun
7. Handle challenges from competing men intellectually and psychologically. Never fight.
8. Respond to any signs that she's not interested as if it were "no big deal"
9. Once you have your target's attention, playfully insult ("neg") her. For example, "I like your hair, is that your natural color?" The more beautiful the woman, the more effective the neg is in garnering interest as they rarely hear comments of that nature.
10. Once attraction has been established, punish any unwanted behavior by withdrawing and disinterest, but do not pout or have an attitude.
11. Alternate between attraction and disinterest signals in a push-pull fashion until rapport is established