Becca Tilly & Hayley Kiyoko - Bachelor 19-20 - Discussion

I see her being a lost soul. She is searching and searching in so many areas, IMO and has no clue what she is searching for.
I think she is surrounded by people who appear to know what they want in life and she sees herself as floundering and unfulfilled.
Wash, rinse and repeat and before you know it years have passed, she sees more around her achieving goals she thought she’d be sharing. It’s frustrating and confusing for her, IMO. She’s searching and I seldom see genuine happiness.

GuardianAngel wrote:

Chgohighlife wrote:snipped
@Pirouette,
Everything I can deduce about Dean from his days of spooning Peter in several pics to his frequent travel around the world without money but, with wealthy guys to his close friendship and recent full on kiss with Alex tells me he is just as sexually open as Becca is apparently trying to learn to be. Take a walk through his Instagram before you disagree. It makes perfect sense for them to be close friends. All JMO

And I believe, Peter loved it, but that's neither here nor there.

mindless wrote:snipped..

And who wouldn't be confused if they're suddenly questioning their sexual orientation after three decades? That is if she is.

This is what I'm confused about. I know several gay people, some are very close family. They all realized they were gay in puberty. I don't understand how now in their late 20's they are questioning themselves.

I would love to know if this is a common thing at that age.

I don’t know how common it is, but my former neighbor had a son with her husband, and when he was just a toddler she met a woman on her softball team. She realized that she was gay, got a divorce, and once it was legal, married her wife. She was in her 40s I think.

Kashathediva wrote:I see her being a lost soul. She is searching and searching in so many areas, IMO and has no clue what she is searching for.
I think she is surrounded by people who appear to know what they want in life and she sees herself as floundering and unfulfilled.
Wash, rinse and repeat and before you know it years have passed, she sees more around her achieving goals she thought she’d be sharing. It’s frustrating and confusing for her, IMO. She’s searching and I seldom see genuine happiness.

This makes sense to me.  I think Becca doesn't even know what she wants.  Sad because she is only going to get older and time keeps marching on.  I honestly do not think she wants to have a relationship with Hayley, but it's possible that Hayley latched onto her and Becca is just going with it...for now.  All imo.

GuardianAngel wrote:This is what I'm confused about. I know several gay people, some are very close family. They all realized they were gay in puberty. I don't understand how now in their late 20's they are questioning themselves.

I would love to know if this is a common thing at that age.

It's not uncommon My cousin was in her late 20's, has a daughter, and dated men her whole life, and fell in love with a woman she worked with and they've been together for years now and are having twins. Some people know early in life, others take longer to figure it out. Idk what Becca's actual sexuality is and I'm not really interested in speculating on it, it seems pretty obvious to me that she's dating Hayley and while she might not be my personal fave, I think she's one of the nicer people in the franchise and if she's happy then good for her. I'm one of those "sexuality is a spectrum" millennials and I don't see the need for labels. I think people should date whoever they want regardless of gender and not feel pressured to label themselves as one thing so other people can feel comfortable. Jmo

Yeah, it's much more common than people think. I remember Oprah did a show a decade ago in which she brought on a bunch on women who were all in their 40s and up and had been married (to men) and had children and all that  and ended up having relationships with women and defined themselves as gay. I personally know a family friend whose wife divorced him because she fell in love with another woman. I think sexuality is a weird and complicated thing and I don't think it's as easy sometimes as just labeling someone "straight", "gay", or "bisexual". I don't think Becca trying to figure out what she wants is "sad" or means that she doesn't know what she wants or that Hayley is somehow using her or whatever the insinuations are. She's doing what most 20-somethings are doing and is dating and figuring of what she wants out of life and relationships. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, IMO.

But I think they had been something going on since April. When Hayley have interview or live in June she still identify as single . Just recent interview , she identify that she is seeing someone. So means that they had decide to be in a relationships if Becca not sure I don think they will they are dating during interview.

not sure if this was mentioned but thought it was funny that Colton said out of everyone in bachelor world he would want to date would be Becca Tilly

Maybe there’s hope for Colton. I’m thinking of Anne Heche’s path from Ellen to James Tupper albeit they’re now divorced.

Lol, I thought of Anne he he too...even Miley...

I have to say that I have been following Becca for a long time. Listen to their podcast weekly. I find it a big stretch for many to make the assumption off of one instagram post (ahemmm, not a like) that she is trying to figure out if she is gay.
IMO, she is damned if she reacts to it and damned if she doesn't. (answer the question)
It is crazy to think that she could not be friends with a gay woman and not be gay. People are people. Tanya Rad is best friends with a gay man, but no one makes assumptions about her. Becca is affectionate with all of her friends.
I truly feel bad for her with these stretches.
If she answers and does not have a relationship with a man, no one will believe her.

I think it's super obvious they're dating. It's not about being friends with someone who is gay, it is about going on romantic getaways with them and posting pictures captioned "but you look at me like I give you butterflies". I personally think that thinking this is just a platonic friendship is the stretch and people are having a hard time accepting it, but JMO!

Aria wrote:Yeah, it's much more common than people think. I remember Oprah did a show a decade ago in which she brought on a bunch on women who were all in their 40s and up and had been married (to men) and had children and all that  and ended up having relationships with women and defined themselves as gay. I personally know a family friend whose wife divorced him because she fell in love with another woman. I think sexuality is a weird and complicated thing and I don't think it's as easy sometimes as just labeling someone "straight", "gay", or "bisexual". I don't think Becca trying to figure out what she wants is "sad" or means that she doesn't know what she wants or that Hayley is somehow using her or whatever the insinuations are. She's doing what most 20-somethings are doing and is dating and figuring of what she wants out of life and relationships. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, IMO.

Could not agree more! She's just trying to find what makes her happy, like anyone else who's dating. I don't think she seems unhappy, she just said she's going through some things she wishes to keep private as an explanation for why she's been less open on her podcast lately. Things can be fulfilling and difficult at the same time, and most people figuring themselves out don't have a million followers overly invested in their love life. JMO.

LeapofFaith wrote:not sure if this was mentioned but thought it was funny that Colton said out of everyone in bachelor world he would want to date would be Becca Tilly

It's interesting because they met about week ago in NYC, when Becca was doing a food drive event. Apparently Colton contacted her and asked if he and Jason can drop by, and then they had lunch together as a group. I wonder if he was trying to hit on her. Becca can do so much better than that insecure man baby though and I wince every time I read comments about how they should date. Just NO! (Can you tell I dislike Colton?) JMO.