Ben Higgins - Bachelor 20 - Discussion

He gets super defensive when he gets criticized. On the other hand, I do not get people who comment negatively on other people's social media. I simply unfollowed Ben, I feel no need to lecture him or tell him my opinions. Waste of time. Jmo

bleuberry wrote:I'm actually laughing . What does he think Lauren was dealing with for over a year? #goaway

Also I have no idea what he's saying .

This. All of this. His little tirade about himself and the hate he is suddenly getting is literally pissing me off on behalf of Lauren. Where were his essays and eulogies to stand up for his woman over the last 18 months? He cares more about himself. And there in lies the problem. Perhaps if he even cared about Lauren's plight even 1/10th the amount he seems to be obsessing over his backlash, he wouldn't be single now.

He is so self absorbed. JMO.

sosleepy wrote:

bleuberry wrote:I'm actually laughing . What does he think Lauren was dealing with for over a year? #goaway

Also I have no idea what he's saying .

This. All of this. His little tirade about himself and the hate he is suddenly getting is literally pissing me off on behalf of Lauren. Where were his essays and eulogies to stand up for his woman over the last 18 months? He cares more about himself. And there in lies the problem. Perhaps if he even cared about Lauren's plight even 1/10th the amount he seems to be obsessing over his backlash, he wouldn't be single now.

He is so self absorbed. JMO.

Very true. It's ALL about him. I'm waiting more passive aggressiveness from him, more Mr Victim posts, more shading other people. It's bound to come, because he can't handle not being adored. Jmo

Does he explain and defend himself all the time though? Recently, yeah. It's a sensitive time and people have a lot of opinions they're expressing to both parties. I can recall him defending Lauren against the those who are not fans MANY times..but not many times has he dedicated a post to himself like this.

hae1001 wrote:

Cila51290 wrote:Okay he has to read here right? I did not see hundreds of negative comments on his IG to warrant him to post a whole essay about not being perfect and doing the podcast for the right reasons etc. Ben, please get over yourself and just live life without pleasing others honey! jmo

If you read the previous post on his ig account about the podcast, it was full of negative comments. Also, I completely disagree with this whole "get over yourself and just accept the criticism" narrative. When someone is being judge by complete strangers, they have every right to defend themselves Imo. I have said this about every contestant, even the ones that I don't personally like. It is one thing to come on a forum and discuss with other people, but to bring it on their pages is disgusting IMO. I'm glad every time one of them speaks out, whether it be Ben, Lauren, Kaitlyn, Becca, Luke Pell, etc.

Sure, everyone has the right to defend themselves and I'm certainly not a proponent of posting rude comments on people's SM, but I can still draw my own conclusions about the way these people handle the criticism they receive. I don't blame anyone for disliking Ben's decision to do the podcast, since I wouldn't like anyone doing a podcast with Ashley I. of all people. As far as I've heard, her own podcast is pretty much misogynistic sl*t-shaming drivel most of the time, but everyone's mileage may vary of course. Ben of all people teaming up with her is just so out of left field, and people have the right to judge his decision IMHO. No, it doesn't make it right to insult him to his face, but people don't have to like everything he does just because they don't personally know him and his motivations. We all draw our own conclusions from people's actions. I just personally find it telling that as soon as Ben gets some backlash he posts a defensive essay on SM, and words it in a way that says "I'm not hurt by the criticism, but others I know have been, so that is why I'm writing this". He didn't write such essays when his own fiancée was getting shat on all the time, because he was still the golden boy, but now that the criticism is coming his way, his fingers are twitching. Unfortunately we all have to deal with the consequences of our own actions. No, he doesn't have to deal with hateful comments, but people not liking his recent decisions yes. JMOAA.

He got really passive aggressive in his people blog, when Jubilee criticized him. He whined about the negative backlash he received while the show was airing, and how Lauren supported him during it. He has had a few fits when he's received negativity, so yes, he has addressed it before. Jmo.

I'm trying to edit my post but it's messing up and using words I didn't even type??
Does he explain and defend himself all the time though? Recently, yeah. It's a sensitive time and people have a lot of opinions they're expressing to both parties. I can recall him defending Lauren against the those who are not fans MANY times..but not many times has he dedicated a post to himself like this.

sosleepy wrote:

bleuberry wrote:I'm actually laughing . What does he think Lauren was dealing with for over a year? #goaway

Also I have no idea what he's saying .

This. All of this. His little tirade about himself and the hate he is suddenly getting is literally pissing me off on behalf of Lauren. Where were his essays and eulogies to stand up for his woman over the last 18 months? He cares more about himself. And there in lies the problem. Perhaps if he even cared about Lauren's plight even 1/10th the amount he seems to be obsessing over his backlash, he wouldn't be single now.

He is so self absorbed. JMO.

She only gets a quote for the hate she got and 3 words for her birthday

hannah.e. wrote:Does he explain and defend himself all the time though? Recently, yeah. It's a sensitive time and people have a lot of opinions they're expressing to both parties. I can recall him defending Lauren against the those who are not fans MANY times..but not many times has he dedicated a post to himself like this.

He may have thrown a throw-away post like "Fit girl" or something like *heart/cat eyes* every now and again. But otherwise, nope. He never even got close to this kind of passion in defending her. It always bothered me too.

"It's Valentine's Day. Happy Valentines Day @laurenbushnell." And clearly it's not because he's not willing or capable of being OTT on social media, like the excuses I was giving to for him at the time. He says himself in his dumb post that doesn't even really make sense that he likes to "spread love" and "loves to talk." Because clearly, he's now willing and ready to pen public essays defending himself. Never Lauren. Lauren deserves better than that.

I remember back at the beginning he posted a pic supporting her working out and she criticized him that he should have used a different picture. Those types of things at the beginning of a relationship set a precedent making it harder for Ben to post supporting her. He isn't perfect, but I think he did try to protect Lauren, but he didn't know how. More proof they just didn't belong together. All JMO.

Cila51290 wrote:

sosleepy wrote:

bleuberry wrote:I'm actually laughing . What does he think Lauren was dealing with for over a year? #goaway

Also I have no idea what he's saying .

This. All of this. His little tirade about himself and the hate he is suddenly getting is literally pissing me off on behalf of Lauren. Where were his essays and eulogies to stand up for his woman over the last 18 months? He cares more about himself. And there in lies the problem. Perhaps if he even cared about Lauren's plight even 1/10th the amount he seems to be obsessing over his backlash, he wouldn't be single now.

He is so self absorbed. JMO.

She only gets a quote for the hate she got and 3 words for her birthday

This.

Relationships are not just about posting couple selfies and proposing multiple times on TV. If you are not standing up for your other half, is that really a relationship? Especially as a man, Like it or not we are wired to expect protection from our male partners. Poor Lauren couldn't get a little bit of the love Ben gives to himself. He is such a phony.

IMO, whatever he posted probably had to be approved by her. Despite his post today, I think Ben is able to ignore what people say on SM compared to Lauren. In the past it was pretty clear to me that Lauren really cared what people thought and let it get to her often.
"I do know great people that I care about deeply that comments and criticisms have affected and as a result I wanted to share my words." - from Ben's post.