Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #6

I have no words but my heart truly breaks for Lauren, you can tell she truly loved him and is still hurting.

IMO I don’t think they were in a toxic relationship, it just seems like a relationship where only one person was truly invested in the relationship which automatically messes everything up… you can’t fake that happiness from their engagement and remember what she wrote about Ben in her valentines heart from last year “daydreaming about their future – those are not the light words of someone that didn’t want to get married and settle down with Ben”. As a fan of theirs I’ve always felt that if they would ever have a chance to be truly happy together a breakup must happen so especially Lauren could have time apart to truly heal because there just seemed to be way too much hurt and pain and it would be extremely difficult to build a healthy relationship from that.

If Lauren is trying to say that she felt alone and unsupported during this past year then IMO I'm calling major BS and that she's definitely looking for the publics sympathy. She's said so many times how supportive Ben has been throughout their relationship, through filming HEA. When they worked long hours on the show and she was tired Ben would step in to camera crew and call it a night. Her interview at her blog launch party with ET's Lauren Zima, she teared up saying how supportive Ben's been through everything. The political thing, it sucks that she couldn't be fully supportive of that because well, IMO, at least Ben had aspirations? She can stay at home in her PJ's looking at a computer screen for her job. All JMO.

ReneeM wrote:I hope she's still in therapy. It's slightly surprising (not now but months ago when we first started seeing the cracks) that two seemingly decent individuals could be in such a toxic (imo) relationship. All JMO.

I know I shouldn't be, but I am always amazed at just how good our sluethers are at spotting the signs.

On the Ben and Lauren front, it is sad hearing all the info coming out. Yes, we had our suspicions, but hearing it confirmed somehow makes it worse...for me at least. I was never really into these two individually or as a couple, but always thought they were decent people. Boring...but, descent. I always thought Ben was a bit of a spoiled only child, but I never imagined he could be so thoughtless and so totally self absorbed. Good luck to Lauren. I hope she learned from this experience and just stays away from the show in the future.

I'm so glad she's been going to therapy. I think she still is. It'll help her with everything, get it all out there. I truly feel for her, bending over backwards to support Ben, even doing things she was uncomfortable doing, like a reality TV show about their life after the show. I'm glad she's laying low, being around family and friends, building back her self worth and confidence. Jmo

hannah.e. wrote:If Lauren is trying to say that she felt alone and unsupported during this past year then IMO I'm calling major BS and that she's definitely looking for the publics sympathy. She's said so many times how supportive Ben has been throughout their relationship, through filming HEA. When they worked long hours on the show and she was tired Ben would step in to camera crew and call it a night. Her interview at her blog launch party with ET's Lauren Zima, she teared up saying how supportive Ben's been through everything. The political thing, it sucks that she couldn't be fully supportive of that because well, IMO, at least Ben had aspirations? She can stay at home in her PJ's looking at a computer screen for her job. All JMO.

I know you're a massive Ben fan (I am and will remain a massive fan of both so I'm not taking sides at all). What Lauren is saying is not new to most because Ben himself had mentioned most things during the interviews for HEA but people didn't listen. Feeling alone and being supported are two different things. She only stated that she felt alone that is completely different from being supported, it very possible to have all the support in this world but still feel completely alone

Regarding politics she definitely supported him despite not agreeing with his decision. the fan accounts posted numerous pictures of Ben signing the document to run last year and Lauren was sitting next to him, smiling and clapping. On Juliet Litman he said that he withdrew because he couldn't fully commit to it because of the filming schedule and life was too busy. he said he would be working late into the night after the camera crew had gone but he still couldn't give it 100% so he withdrew his candidacy. pLus there was a number of speculations online that ABC were not a fan of him doing the show and being involved in politics.

All I can say, from experience, is being in a relationship with a beloved Prince of an only child, is not easy. Add to that his admitted confidence issues and the pressure of being perfect Ben...imo...yikes! Not a lot of fun.

IMO, Lauren will be happily married within a few years to a great guy while Ben will be like the long list of Bachelors behind him who are all still single!!

I hope she moves on from franchise and stays classy.

hannah.e. wrote:If Lauren is trying to say that she felt alone and unsupported during this past year then IMO I'm calling major BS and that she's definitely looking for the publics sympathy. She's said so many times how supportive Ben has been throughout their relationship, through filming HEA. When they worked long hours on the show and she was tired Ben would step in to camera crew and call it a night. Her interview at her blog launch party with ET's Lauren Zima, she teared up saying how supportive Ben's been through everything. The political thing, it sucks that she couldn't be fully supportive of that because well, IMO, at least Ben had aspirations? She can stay at home in her PJ's looking at a computer screen for her job. All JMO.

I'm guessing that was a fiancé who didn't want to badmouth her man in public. She couldn't very well say "Yeah...Ben's been kind of a nightmare, but don't worry! We're doing great!". You have to BS when you're in a relationship and need to keep your issues private. That's not to say that Ben wasn't kind - I can believe that he would step in and call it a night if she was tired and similar things like that. But I think she's talking more about emotional support and I never felt that she got that either, since she always just seemed so sad to me. IMO.

All those apparent "dead eyes" pics make a whole lot of sense.

Truly a young lady that was fighting, and hurting inside. IMHO.

^ IMO, no. She really is that full of herself.

Can we just say once again that sm is king?? We knew all this without any of these post mortem articles imo.

I remember when HEA was announced and everyone assumed Hollywood Lauren was shoving this down Ben's throat. Yeah, nope. Opposite.

I can't believe the balls on this guy, shoving this crap down his fiance's throat along with premature Politics run right out the gate from humiliating and not apologizing for dual ILY. Then, on said show HE wanted, agreeing to a wedding and tearing it away IN PUBLIC. Like holy $hit, he kinda sucks, huh? Hope he stays unlovable for a while until he can figure out how to love someone else himself.

This is why having siblings are sometimes important, imo. I realize multiple children aren't in the cards or desires for everyone, and that's ok. But growing up and sharing life with other people has its benefits, imo. I think Ben missed out on something there and just grew up with the sun revolving around him, or something.

Bushnell, 27, says that they “of course” still had a physical connection between them, but it was the emotional aspect that led to the end of their engagement.
“It was more so the emotional connection that fizzled,” says Bushnell.
“We were just stressed and tired physically,” Bushnell admits, and adds, “Emotionally, I just felt like it wasn’t there anymore.”

source: Lauren Bushnell & Ben Higgins' Physical Chemistry Never Went Away, but 'the Emotional Connection Fizzled'

This is exactly what I've been saying about bach/ette couples - the relationships lead with the physical and with infatuation but the emotional connection is not the most solid from the beginning...the fact that Lauren felt alone and isolated while being in a relationship is very telling. I bet Ben himself felt lonely as well since the connection didn't endure. This is a huge lesson not only for this golden bachelor couple but any others that become part of this franchise. IMHO