Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #6

Yeah okay Lauren moved to Denver. I'll give her that, to me that made more sense for their relationship anyways. Quitting her job, no. She would've had to do that whether she was with Ben or not. Postponing a wedding to someone who you've known less than a year seems normal - especially if they were starting to have issues. Why still rush to the alter when they were presented with new challenges in their relationship? IMO, waiting is better than rushing and screwing up a marriage later. Lauren acted out, IMO, it was more self destructive and destructive to their relationship. When faced with adversity you don't just run away to the nearest bar if you really want to make the relationship work. It didn't seem like Lauren was interested in making it work for several months IMO.

EDIT: @sosleepy IMO Ben wasn't eating up what Ashley said. Having her around for his ego was a joke. Any time last year when asked about the Perfect Ben thing, Ben has always appeared to be humbled but have humility. He's said a number of times that he's not perfect. He seems to own that. He's one of the best guys to come from this franchise IMO, and I hope he knows that.

Imo Ben wasn't interested in making it work either. Why should Lauren make all the effort, while Ben didn't do much? Moving to another state is HUGE. Uprooting her life, no job, no friends, no her normalcy. Added to it Ben throwing fits, over paint colours, over the aftr issue. Her not finding her footing in Denver, even though she tried. She had one of her own friends there, but everything else and everyone else was on Ben's turf. His friends, his house, his hobbies, his dreams, his job etc etc. Imo Lauren did a lot for this relationship, and downplaying it isn't fair. Jmo

If my fiance kept saying publicly that he was ready to marry me to only then call it off, I'd act out too. Sure a wedding isn't for everyone and things change, but Benjamin literally spits out promises that he clearly cannot keep. IMO, he's the one that didn't know how to make things work. He's a manchild, IMO. That HEA episode where they did that therapy session shows exactly why the relationship fell apart. Ben making excuses about not having enough memories with Lauren & his friends, wants to get to know Lauren more, etc. He was the one pulling back. You can see it in Lauren's eyes just how much those things he said right there and then hurt her. There was no turning back from that, imo. It was televised and yet Ben's fans still sided with him during that episode. Mr. Perfect always

@hannah.e. I do agree with you that Ben is overall a good person, and one of the better guys to come from this franchise. Although really, thats not saying much, the competition is pretty weak. I'm having trouble right now thinking of a single guy from this franchise I'd be happy about having my daughter date. I mean, my daughter is 2, but like in the future. And that includes Ben. At least this version of Ben, I see a lot of growing up that needs to happen. He's pretty self centered, definitely an ego there.

And this is where this show goes wrong, Ben is a Bachelor imo, that should have not gotten engaged from the show...but he obviously wanted to for his image or something...but he obviously was not ready to be and didn't seem to really want to be. You can't propose, give a girl and engagement ring, say you want to marry them, then take it back. Sure if you were just in a relationship, it's fine to wait a few years to get engaged/married, which is probably what Ben wanted. But it doesn't work that way when you are already engaged...anyways, jmo.

Everyone coming off engaged from this show should just be realistic and real. Ben wasn't which made it difficult for him to live up to his fake promises. If he just said "we're taking things slowly, no wedding plans yet" maybe the pressure would've been easier for both. jmo

Hey - I'm fine with Ben getting engaged on the show. They all do. I'm even fine with him proposing a second time when he was "in the glow" of it all. I'm also ok with him deciding after time, Lauren wasn't the one and maybe he didn't want this after all.

Where he loses me was his willingness and wanting to do HEA, a television show literally billed to be his wedding journey in the first place. Then, even more agregious, freaking AGREEING to and setting a date on said show. That's where he loses me. That's how I become team Lauren. Grow some balls dude. Don't agree to this kind of $hit to begin with if you even have a sliver of a doubt, which he must have. Then, grow a second pair and tell producers to shove it when he filmed that fake therapy and took the wedding away on prime time television.

IMO due to this show and the circumstances, I'll cut him some slack for when people expect them to get married. Ben and Lauren both appeared very confident coming off the show. That was before they lived together. It's called a honeymoon phase before real life kicks in.

Cila51290 wrote:Everyone coming off engaged from this show should just be realistic and real. Ben wasn't which made it difficult for him to live up to his fake promises. If he just said "we're taking things slowly, no wedding plans yet" maybe the pressure would've been easier for both. jmo

Yeah, pretty much this. I'll chalk it up to his age, immaturity, and people pleaser nature. He set the bar and expectations so high, there was no where to go but down. I think part of it is he was trying to overcompensate for dual ILY at the time. Just too much dude, too much.

Duke702 wrote:And this is where this show goes wrong, Ben is a Bachelor imo, that should have not gotten engaged from the show...but he obviously wanted to for his image or something...but he obviously was not ready to be and didn't seem to really want to be. You can't propose, give a girl and engagement ring, say you want to marry them, then take it back. Sure if you were just in a relationship, it's fine to wait a few years to get engaged/married, which is probably what Ben wanted. But it doesn't work that way when you are already engaged...anyways, jmo.

I think you can definiteley propose and have every intention of marrying the person, but then something goes wrong during the engagement. For example, Rory McIlroy & Caroline Wozniacki.

sweeti810 wrote: I think you can definiteley propose and have every intention of marrying the person, but then something goes wrong during the engagement. For example, Rory McIlroy & Caroline Wozniacki.

Of course anything can go wrong but these people are not being televised for it. Constantly saying you're getting married, you're not, wait yes we are getting married on numerous occasions is ridiculous. You either do or you don't.

"Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me". Lauren was DONE after that, IMO.

IMO if they are going to get engaged, which is expected of them, then the standard line should be that there are no wedding plans, we are going to enjoy being engaged. Period. Every single time someone asks, that should be the response. It's ridiculous IMO to give a timeline when you barley know the person.

They are just setting themselves up for media pressure. Probably pressure on themselves as well.