Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #5

The interaction only strikes me as odd because I've been married close to 38 yrs.
A frequent "argument" for us revolves around--you didn't listen to me so you are answering to something I didn't even say or mean. If you listened to me, you would know what I mean.
Anyone else? I bet I am not alone.

It was Ben's Mom who said he needs to talked off the ledge...ie: super needy and insecure IMO.
Lauren reveres and respects her Dad so IMO she never tried to be fake or trick Ben into thinking she was someone other than her true self. I am sure she loves seeing her Dad in his garden....and she said she loves to travel.
IMO the one who has been Different than they presented themselves on the show is Ben. So if someone was mislead on the show it was Lauren not Ben.  
JMO

bleuberry wrote: Kasha. I just thought it was strange. Esp because what he said was fine, and Lauren gave a simple 'yeah.' Not sure what he wanted her to say.

I think he thought she was mad at the advice he gave, and was being passive aggressive by saying "yeah"

I think most of the viewing audience was misled regarding who Ben is. And I don't necessarily fault Ben. He just went with the PR image the show gave him vs kind of passive, kind of meh, kind of go with the flow. Think of cream of wheat. It could be that is why he labeled himself as "unloveable". Maybe he bores himself, too.

bleuberry wrote: Kasha. I just thought it was strange. Esp because what he said was fine, and Lauren gave a simple 'yeah.' Not sure what he wanted her to say.

"That was a great answer, babe! You're so smart, I want to have your baby. I mean in 10 years, not now... Don't get anxious babe, no pressure."

^ Seems accurate!

Kashathediva wrote:The interaction only strikes me as odd because I've been married close to 38 yrs.  
A frequent "argument" for us revolves around--you didn't listen to me so you are answering to something I didn't even say or mean. If you listened to me, you would know what I mean.
Anyone else? I bet I am not alone.

 Married 7 years, together almost 12. Yep.

One of the thing that bothered me about Ben in that intense therapy session in HEA when he was crying and saying how overwhelmed he feels about all this wedding stuff and calls off the wedding . I hated the way he was reassuring Lauren by asking her not worry, promising that she is never going to leave his life and how she is the woman of his dreams and how he sure knows he will be her husband . And at the same time he is saying they still have to know a lot about each other before heading for marriage . If he is still not sure who Lauren is than how can he sit there , look at Lauren and make a promise that he will eventually marry him . That part bothered me a lot.

The first year of dating are some of the best years. It's exhilarating, intense, and passionate. If Ben isn't experiencing that then no wonder he called the wedding off. Honestly, Ben bores me to death. It's going to take a woman that will take his sh** and be complacent with his OTT needy self to stay with him no offense. JMO

sosleepy wrote:How do we even know what pre-engaged Lauren is really like? We didn't even "know" her before she was engaged. What we do know is she was in a 4 year long relationship with the Jimmy Johns sub shop owner Sean LOL. She was a flight attendant. She broke up with Sean in about April - so 5/6 months before going on The Bachelor. And she went out and got drunk and arrested at Coachella same month she broke up with her long term boyfriend. That's all we know. I see no reason to believe she didn't want "that life" with Ben, see no reason why she wouldn't try to settle down. Her excessive travel and running to me is recent and imo a reaction to events.

True. Lauren acted like a single woman before she was with Ben..because, duh! She was single. When you meet the one, you do settle down.

Cila51290 wrote:The first year of dating are some of the best years. It's exhilarating, intense, and passionate. If Ben isn't experiencing that then no wonder he called the wedding off. Honestly, Ben bores me to death. It's going to take a woman that will take his sh** and be complacent with his OTT needy self to stay with him no offense. JMO

IDK. I don't consider me and my husband's first year as one of our best. Not by a long shot. There is a lot of learning and growth in the beginning of relationships. I imagine that learning curve and growth is that much steeper in a public Bachelor Franchise relationship where you go in "commited to marriage" and in a serious relationship from the ready. Add in adjusting to a whole new life, living with a stranger from the get go, entirely new routines, being in the public eye. I can see why once you make it through that first year or so, it wouldn't necessarily register as "the best." Sean and Cat stated that their first year of marriage, and that first year together in general was hard. A lot of compromise, a lot of adjustments.

Anyone know where Lauren is at? She IG storied herself standing in a line. It looks like a mall, but idk.