Nick Viall - Bachelor 21 - Episode 3 Jan 16th - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

bleuberry wrote:I'm torn on the crying. It was half sweet, half strange. Feels like there was something else going on with him and he kind of unloaded on Vanessa. He barely knew anything about her at that point. Thoughts? I don't know. It was sweet until I remembered it was a first date. IRL if a guy cries on the first date I'm thinking this is weird... FS date, final days, sure.

You know I do agree - and it really wasn't until Nick started kind of nervously laughing that I thought it was sweet. As the awkward laughter made me believe that the emotions took him by surprise and he himself didn't understand why he was so emotional. I actually thought the laugh situation was one of the more genuine Nick moments - he just didn't seem stilted or charming - it was more an awkward laugh as in why am crying and why can't I talk properly.

Ben H was on Juliet Littman's pod this week and he spoke to that moment and said that he absolutely understood where Nick was coming from as he had a very similar moment on his season on his first date with Lauren. He basically said that you are announced as the bachelor and then for two months you are doing photo shoots and press, and there is a lot of pressure. Then it is night one - which is all a blur - and the whole time you are talking about finding love but not really sure if you will find it. You don't really feel yourself - and then at the same time you have to spend all this time with people you know right away you aren't going to end up with - so it is very strange and exhausting. Then you have this moment with someone who is smart, together, beautiful and you actually see a potential with them - its a moment where you realize that this whole thing might actually be worth it and work out. He basically said for him it was the first moment where he felt like himself since being named the bachelor.

bleuberry wrote:I'm torn on the crying. It was half sweet, half strange. Feels like there was something else going on with him and he kind of unloaded on Vanessa. He barely knew anything about her at that point. Thoughts? I don't know. It was sweet until I remembered it was a first date. IRL if a guy cries on the first date I'm thinking this is weird... FS date, final days, sure.

He did unload on her and the fact that he felt comfortable enough with her to do so was telling in itself. I think it really was essentially what we saw. For all the posturing and the fact that he seems to have a thick skin (at least thicker than some others from the franchise), the weight of everything - being the two time loser punchline, the "fourth's time a charm" jokes, etc. do bother him at times like any normal person and till that point he hadn't felt that feeling he'd been hoping to find. Until that day with Vanessa.

It's clear there was chemistry and interest on his part from the start with her but something flipped that day on their one on one and like he said, it made him hopeful that "hey, maybe this could work because there's that wow and amazing feeling I'd been waiting to feel with one of the women". Sometimes we think we're okay but we start talking about something and then all this emotion we may not have even known was there, comes up. I get everyone saying it was much for a first date but remember this show is like speed dating on crack. First dates are not like the first dates most people go on every day.

I don't know, I really loved that moment, especially the fact that Vanessa was like a rock for him because she didn't get weepy but instead caressed his face and wiped his tears. There was just something so intimate in that moment and that's what I personally so far think is the difference between them and Nick with others. I see Nick grab Danielle L.'s butt and it's like okay and I'm not even going to bother with the Corinne stuff and he and Rachel are cute and nice. But none of those things have even the ounce of intensity and passion I see when Nick and Vanessa just stared at each other in the season premiere and in this week's episode, when he's being open and emotional with her. Basically it's like I've always believed, people often confuse sex and sexuality with intimacy and they are not the same thing. IMO.

Sprite wrote:

Kashathediva wrote:His fingers are curled in order not to make an more intimate tactile connection is my opinion.
Notice her hands are linked together and touching herself, also.

This was my opinion as well. When I was watching, there was a lot of times when his hands were just hanging almost at his side. I thought to myself at the time that it reminded me of Sean when he was on his FD with AshLee...making out in a lagoon with his hands at his sides. Screaming not into you.

I think this is why for all his saying how attracted he is to Danielle L. and grabbing her butt later, he was just playing the Bachelor. And why on their next date we have info that when cameras were off, he wasn't that into her.

I'm back and forth on his interest. They have cut up their time together so badly, it's hard for me to rate his chemistry with Danielle. Apparently, his breakdown in Episode 6 was after his 2-1 with Whitney and Danielle, letting them both go. Maybe it was just too much and not just Danielle's departure. I do hope their 1/1 on Episode 4 isn't spliced to death!

If nothing else, I'm looking forward to hearing from Bella again.

bleuberry wrote:I'm torn on the crying. It was half sweet, half strange. Feels like there was something else going on with him and he kind of unloaded on Vanessa. He barely knew anything about her at that point. Thoughts? Just me?  I don't know. It was sweet until I remembered it was a first date. IRL if a guy cries on the first date I'm thinking this is weird... FS date, final days, sure.

This isn't a regular first date and so I judge it in Bachelor terms. I don't think it was weird under the circumstances. It's his fourth time. He was screwed over twice and made out to be some sort of villain with tons of SM hate. I think it was a combination of a long, exciting, fun date with a woman who he really liked and more than anything, it was a sense of relief that here he might have someone who reciprocates his feelings. He indicated as much in...I think it was his blog...or one of the other interviews I just read. It was a sense of relief and optimism and it just came out. I really didn't think it weird, in fact, I thought it might have been Nick at the most genuine and vulnerable I have ever seen him.

These type of totally unexpected moments are what make this show for me. So rare that they...momentarily...thaw my cold, cynical heart when it comes to this show.

In general, I've always felt like nick is a bit of a cry-baby. Still remember him crying on Kaitlyn's season at the rose ceremony after they slept together. Like, whyyyyy? I did get it here though. For someone like nick who has been dating for 20 years and has been engaged/almost engaged 3 times...it must be emotional to finally feel like you met the one. Especially in this situation where there is so much pressure on you and you feel like you're just going through the motions with everyone else. IMO.

I loved the crying. It felt like he was just so genuinely relieved to finally see real potential with someone after spending time with all these women who might be nice but not really for him. I'm sure he was terrified that he would find more Jens at best, plus a lot of these women seem to only like him based on what they saw on BIP while there's so much more to him and it was visible all along to those who cared enough to look closer. He looked kind of scared when Vanessa started talking about watching him on Andi's season, probably thinking she'll bring up the negatives like everyone else, but instead she'd taken notice of his relationship with his mom and his family in general. I'm sure that made him so happy! JMO.

Lara wrote:In general, I've always felt like nick is a bit of a cry-baby. Still remember him crying on Kaitlyn's season at the rose ceremony after they slept together. Like, whyyyyy? I did get it here though. For someone like nick who has been dating for 20 years and has been engaged/almost engaged 3 times...it must be emotional to finally feel like you met the one. Especially in this situation where there is so much pressure on you and you feel like you're just going through the motions with everyone else. IMO.

I'm pretty sure he was engaged early in real life, too. IIRC, his mom's recollection of the heart break he suffered still brought tears to her eyes. I hope mama had a big ol smile watching Nick and Vanessa on Monday. It's been a long wait. She knows his heart.

mprssdbyu wrote:

Lara wrote:In general, I've always felt like nick is a bit of a cry-baby. Still remember him crying on Kaitlyn's season at the rose ceremony after they slept together. Like, whyyyyy? I did get it here though. For someone like nick who has been dating for 20 years and has been engaged/almost engaged 3 times...it must be emotional to finally feel like you met the one. Especially in this situation where there is so much pressure on you and you feel like you're just going through the motions with everyone else. IMO.

I'm pretty sure he was engaged early in real life, too. IIRC, his mom's recollection of the heart break he suffered still brought tears to her eyes. I hope mama had a big ol smile watching Nick and Vanessa on Monday. It's been a long wait. She knows his heart.

Yes, his fiancé at 27 was one of the three times I was including! Jen doesn't count, IMO.

Lara wrote:

mprssdbyu wrote:

Lara wrote:In general, I've always felt like nick is a bit of a cry-baby. Still remember him crying on Kaitlyn's season at the rose ceremony after they slept together. Like, whyyyyy? I did get it here though. For someone like nick who has been dating for 20 years and has been engaged/almost engaged 3 times...it must be emotional to finally feel like you met the one. Especially in this situation where there is so much pressure on you and you feel like you're just going through the motions with everyone else. IMO.

I'm pretty sure he was engaged early in real life, too. IIRC, his mom's recollection of the heart break he suffered still brought tears to her eyes. I hope mama had a big ol smile watching Nick and Vanessa on Monday. It's been a long wait. She knows his heart.

Yes, his fiancé at 27 was one of the three times I was including! Jen doesn't count, IMO.

Gotcha! I thought "almost" included Jen. I did/do not watch BIP. I can't take it. As you can see, I didn't need BIP to make me like Nick.

Lara wrote:

mprssdbyu wrote:

Lara wrote:In general, I've always felt like nick is a bit of a cry-baby. Still remember him crying on Kaitlyn's season at the rose ceremony after they slept together. Like, whyyyyy? I did get it here though. For someone like nick who has been dating for 20 years and has been engaged/almost engaged 3 times...it must be emotional to finally feel like you met the one. Especially in this situation where there is so much pressure on you and you feel like you're just going through the motions with everyone else. IMO.

I'm pretty sure he was engaged early in real life, too. IIRC, his mom's recollection of the heart break he suffered still brought tears to her eyes. I hope mama had a big ol smile watching Nick and Vanessa on Monday. It's been a long wait. She knows his heart.

Yes, his fiancé at 27 was one of the three times I was including! Jen doesn't count, IMO.

In A's season he said he was emotionally broken after his "first love" relationship of several years finally ended. I think that is the "heartbreak" his sister referred to in A's season. He said he was engaged for a short while not that long after and that it was, in retrospect, a rebound relationship and he took responsibility for his share because of that.

Crying: yes, he has been most emotional around his mom. It seems to be his response after emotions have built up and he can't hold them in any longer. Those emotions could be happy or sad or just because what he is feeling inside it from his core. There are examples of all 3 from previous seasons. The way Vanessa responded may have even further overwhelmed him as even when he and his mom were shown crying, neither reached out physical to comfort. Nick did, however, comfort Vanessa while she was ill in a way that she may have taken as cue that what she felt in her time of need was something she wanted to gift him in return.

The pressure Nick "might" had felt was/is enormous. I can only imagine. The "world" watching you, judging you and mostly a) wanting to root for you or b) hoping you fail. And what a fail it could be. No matter what a result would be at the end, there's an expectancy that the relationship formed won't last ... so the chances to actually find someone whom you can actually have a lasting relationship with ... are slim ... and if he breaks up with his F1 eventually, it will be perceived as his failure once again (and become a running joke), when in reality it's like any other relationship that we wouldn't be privy to follow/see ... but because it's on TV ... 4th time ... it must be the final one. And that's only the pressure about the premise of becoming engaged what is usually the goal (official).
Then the pressure to run/lead/conduct the show, to make connections with women ... that seem at least genuine, if not romantic, to actually feel something for few of them to even have a final 2. I think the issue whether the F1 would say "yes" is the last of his problems (considering the build up to the FRC) ... but that's what the theme is for this season, I guess, HER final word. Call it "women's empowerment" on TB ... a special edition.

There is an easy solution to that "pressure"--don't go on the show and be on tv. Simple. No pressure.
I have no pressure with this. I bet most of us reading here are in the same boat.