Kaitlyn Bristowe - Shawn Booth - Bachelorette 11 - #4 - Discussion

@everly Yikes. Has she really?

This all makes me really sad. I feel so bad for the girl, as Shawn basically promised to obsessively love her like no man has ever loved any other woman ever and now he's doing interviews saying they've "only" been together for 3 years and she's so desperate for him to show her that he loves her and is committed to her, she has to play that whole "fight for me or I'll leave you!" out on social media.

I don't think a permanent break up is on the way. I think Shawn will do *something* to quiet her down for a while, whether it's a proposal or a baby or whatever. And then we'll do Take 2 of this in about 6 months or so. It's all so sad, IMO.

@Aria, you’re so right! It’s especially sad/bothersome to me because of how he acted and all the promises he made her and how he was downright psychotically obsessed (in a cute way ). And now this? Three years later? And I’ll be extra super pissed (like he cares) if he used their combined fame to get the gym going and now doesn’t want to deal with her and leaves her hanging.

I think all this behavior will wheedle something out of him though, however begrudgingly, but like @ReneeM said, I don’t know how successful that can be long term. Although it’s worked for other Bach girls in the past like Melissa.

Maybe it is not that Shawn does not love her but he might be just  scared to get married since his parents are divorced

ReneeM wrote:She also tweeted this last night

pic.twitter.com/Ordh2Dyc2R

— Kaitlyn Bristowe (@kaitlynbristowe) July 27, 2018

I definitely think she's doing all this to force Shawn to step up but I just don't think it's gonna turn out the way she thinks it will. Backing someone into a corner rarely does. You can't force someone into wanting to get married.

Not to mention she is doing publicly on SM. It is bad enough trying to force someone when it is just between the two of you, but the fact that she is doing it in this passive aggressive manner on SM only makes it worse and could make him dig his heels in because he feels like he is being forced into something he may not be ready for or want. Also, didn't he just open his gym? He is probably already really stressed and busy working his a** off trying to get a new business off the ground so definitely would not appreciate this.

She already deleted the post. Bets on how long before we get a rant about people nagging her about SM and how we shouldn't bully?

everly wrote:I think their issues go beyond getting married. She’s been talking on her podcasts about how they have issues communicating and that she feels the romance is gone and Shawn doesn’t love her the way he use to. It sounds like Shawn has been taking her for granted and not putting any effort into the relationship. I think she’d be fine with waiting for him to be ready if she actually felt appreciated and loved.

Frankly I think she is being ridiculous. IMO She seems to have unrealistic expectations and expects him to be all over her like he was when they first got together. Dude is busy starting a brand new business. That is very stressful, not to mention time consuming. Gyms are a dime a dozen and there are big franchises that it is very hard to compete against. Instead of letting him get on with it, she is just adding extra stress by cryptically trying to publicly force his hand. Talk privately. Go see a therapist and work on your issues or break up. This passive/aggressive behaviour from her is tiring for me, I can only imagine how Shawn feels.

Really close friends of mine recently broke up for similar reasons and it just pisses me off. If Shawns doubts about marriage stem from his childhood, then I really don't get this. A broken home is tough on the kids no matter if the parents were married or just dating, it's having children together that is the biggest commitment of all. And why on earth did you propose on the bachelorette in the first place if you were having doubts about wanting to get married?!

Alanna wrote:I don’t necessarily think they’re over (quite) yet though. I do think some or all part of this is her asking Shawn to step up to the plate and propose. I think she wants him to fight for her or whatever you see in rom-coms. I’d be very surprised if this doesn’t drag out at least another 4-6 months, regardless of the end result.

I still don't like seeing her like this. Hopefully he doesn't let the gym interfere with her and he focuses on her when he has some free time.

I saw and read all these yesterday as well and the first thought I had was: Mercury just turned retrograde... and is causing a lot of misunderstandings. July 2018 comes with an increased risk of arguments, conflict and accidents. That said, Kaitlyn and Shawn already have a challenge in having very different styles of communication. One being more intuitive, the other more facts based and analytical. Can you guess who has which? Kaitlyn has a Cancer Mercury, Water, and Shawn a Gemini one, Air.
Here is a sample of what they are dealing with...:
When Mercury in Air and Mercury in Water people interact: there can be a conflict between Air’s need to be detached in thoughts and communication and Water’s desire to keep things personal. Water Mercury intuits his/her way through problems, while Air is endlessly analyzing and considering all sides of a situation. Water can become quite impatient with Air’s need to analyze situations excessively. Water just “knows” things instinctively, while Air looks to the world around them for answers. Air seems to detach him/herself from emotions during a discussion, and this detachment can be frustrating to Water, whose approach is warmer and more subjective.

With Mercury in retrograde, this conflict is excacerbated right now...I think they need to cool off, ( their jets) and realizes what they have, and slowly come back to understand if and how their expectations of each other are correct. Maybe Shawn is super busy with his new endeavour, but THAT is exactly the thing he is very likely building in order to provide a good life for her and their future family. He is actively doing things to set the security they need. If she doesn’t see that or acknowledge his efforts, it will backfire. And he needs to make efforts to communicate this clearly to her. That his intentions are long term plans to provide for her and future kids. Going to Canada is perfect for K right now. Take a break and focus on all the good. In 3 weeks, things will get back maybe with a new appreciation and better understanding of their plans.
All my opinion as usual. I wish them well.

Like I said when these two ended up together. A guy can only take so much for so long. He constantly put up with her drinking, even cleaning out her stock of empty bottles under the kitchen sink. He always took a back seat and let her be the centre of attention. He just smiled when she teased him about something, or made a joke at his expense.

She is needy. She complains about Shawn not being around. She complains she's going to be lonely after he spends so much time at the gym. She constantly throws digs about getting engaged. Now she returned the ring. If I was Shawn, I would have left.

He proposed to her, gave her a ring. That's a real proposal IMHO. She's playing games to try and "force" him into marriage and trying to get SM on her side? It won't work, IMHO and it won't last if she can't stand the thought of no wedding any time soon. The more you force someone, the more turned off they get, the less romantic they become, and it ends up being a case of I can't stand who you are anymore.

She needs to decide if she is not happy with no wedding in site, and it that's so important to her to give up on a relationship, then she should leave and stop with the SM crap. That's just horrible IMHO. How does Shawn feel seeing that? Throwing the blame all on him. Maybe he hasn't been sure she's the one he wants to marry. I don't blame him for not rushing.

I wouldn't doubt if at this point where he doesn't care anymore.

Thanks for all that info @GuardianAngel. I have not followed them very closely recently but saw that Shawn went all out to surprise her for her birthday as he left a tent with balloons etc. When he was out of town. Very sweet. I see from what you say that they have more issues than just ‘communication’. ( drinking can become a big issue) Maybe Jillian’s no nonsense approach and advice will be good for Kaitlyn if she spends time there. One can hope.

Kaitlyn's definitely a lot of work, but Shawn knew all of that when he chose to be with her and promised her marriage. To me, it just seems really unfair that he told her three years ago that he would be re-proposing soon and giving her a REAL proposal that actually counted and that proposal still hasn't happened and, instead, he's now doing TV interviews saying it's "only" been three years. I think he's just not being honest with her (and himself) by saying that he has too many hang ups about marriage and he's probably never going to feel ready marrying her. I've seen this exact scenario play out a hundred times, with the girl waiting and waiting and waiting. And, maybe one of those hundred guys will actually do it, but most of them never do and just keep the girl on the hook because they don't want to be alone, but also don't want to marry her. It's just not a nice thing to do, especially when the girl is 33 and wants to have four children. I do think she should just leave too, but the girl is loyal to a fault and she feels like Shawn is her family. It's not easy to leave someone you've built a life with.

I also don't think Shawn is perfect. I remember when he lost his temper and had an incident with one of their fans and Kaitlyn had to smooth it over with her. He just hides his crazy better than Kaitlyn. I don't think either of them are really easy people to love. IMO.

I don't blame Shawn for anything, because I don't know his side of the story. The promises IMO made 3 years ago were based on what he knew and felt for her. There have been plenty of couples promising the world at the time of the FRC. People change, perhaps she's changed, perhaps there are issue's he's just not happy about, maybe he's not feeling the same as he did 3 yrs ago and is trying to make it work, maybe she's hot headed and just wants to get married yesterday and is being unreasonable about other matters. Who knows.

I think Shawn has matured much more than k has in the last couple of years.