Bachelor 21 - Nick Viall - General Discussion - *Sleuthing Spoilers* #3

StacyNor wrote:

julychild wrote:Everyone should brace themselves for a season of Nick looking down and not making eye contact when he talks to people. Not unlike his speech thing, this is a part of his mannerisms and he's been this way all along. I saw a lot of tweets about him not making eye contact with Jen during the breakup scene, people said he was being dishonest. Maybe he was, I don't kno


Unfortunately the American culture has us all believing that not making eye contact means you are lying or have something to hide. I do not know what psychologists or whatever did that study, but I have since come to learn that certain cultures view making eye contact differently. In some cultures making eye contact is disrespectful, while maintaining a slightly bowed head and avoiding eye contact shows the person is humble. Yeah, avoiding eye contact can show dishonesty. I know this can be true.

All in all, we are who we are, we were all made differently and therefore act differently. I can imagine how hard it must be for people who are inherently shy, and don't maintain constant eye contact, to always have people judge them as liars or dishonest, or in Nick's case, even creepy. Since this is the way he is when talking to A,B,C or D and on all occasions, this is his natural behavior, and not a way he acts when put in a tight spot. My opinion.

Great post! I have the same habit and have had since I was young. I don't like making eye contact, no matter the situation. It has to do with a bit of shyness and something I am not comfortable doing it at times. We are not the same, we all have quirkiness that make us different from one another. That is Nick thing, and same can be said for me.

I do the same thing because I think what I am about to say while looking away or down, and then look at the person after I hv said it. Just the way my brain works and constantly making eye contact can feel scary and uncomfortable with people you don't know well. It's just a mannerism and imo it makes him seem more appealing and shy at times. I like it that he seems to take time to think before he speaks and tries to speak honestly rather than what people want to hear. Backing this guy all the way to his love story, she is on her way to meet you as we speak Nick. ( no I don't mean me-alas)

As many have noted, eye contact is not natural to everyone. I find it extremely personal and really cannot sustain it with anyone in anything other than a very romantic or personally intense conversation. Sustained eye contact can make me very uncomfortable and it has zero to do with honesty; I'm always telling the truth as I know it.

But I do think, oddly enough, that one of the times I find it easiest to maintain eye contact is when we're playing a game of wits (the game aspect somehow removes the personal intensity). That is the rare time I am going to see if I can mislead you with selective facts, though; not lying, but challenging the listener to pick up on the game.

julychild wrote:Everyone should brace themselves for a season of Nick looking down and not making eye contact when he talks to people. Not unlike his speech thing, this is a part of his mannerisms and he's been this way all along. I saw a lot of tweets about him not making eye contact with Jen during the breakup scene, people said he was being dishonest. Maybe he was, I don't know.

Unfortunately the American culture has us all believing that not making eye contact means you are lying or have something to hide. I do not know what psychologists or whatever did that study, but I have since come to learn that certain cultures view making eye contact differently. In some cultures making eye contact is disrespectful, while maintaining a slightly bowed head and avoiding eye contact shows the person is humble. Yeah, avoiding eye contact can show dishonesty. I know this can be true.

All in all, we are who we are, we were all made differently and therefore act differently. I can imagine how hard it must be for people who are inherently shy, and don't maintain constant eye contact, to always have people judge them as liars or dishonest, or in Nick's case, even creepy. Since this is the way he is when talking to A,B,C or D and on all occasions, this is his natural behavior, and not a way he acts when put in a tight spot. My opinion.

I have to respond to that. Yes, from where I am, Asia, looking at people directly is not respectful, looking down means humble and respectful.
Also, I agree with another poster that I believe Nick still has some shyness and dorkness under his hotness.

I apologize in advance if I get too defensive but IMO the whole emphasis on eye contact determining one's honesty is so out of touch with reality. Maybe it's a slightly biased take since I am one who communicates sincerely but lacking in continual eye contact. I just don't think it is natural to look someone in the eye non stop while talking/interacting. For me what makes a person a liar is their deliberate decision to say something untrue whether they are looking away from me or straight into my eyes. Simple as that. How many times have you watched politicians campaign and see them look straight at people's eyes or straight into the camera at the viewers? There is not a chance they are being 100% truthful each time they do that. It may be backwards but I am more suspicious of someone too keen on eye contact than someone who is more introverted and shy. Nick has always had an awkward, shy side to him which I think is why it was so easy for me who feels that same awkwardness to get behind him. Maybe we should all join a "liar's anonymous" club .

I actually feel awkward and intimidated when someone tries to maintain eye contact with me for too long. It's normal to make some contact, but after a certain amount of time for me it's like an invasion of body space and makes me feel creepy.

I have lots of reasons for why I dislike Nick but eye contact isn't one of them. I've been told I stare right above people's forehead when I talk to them so maintaining eye contact isn't a strong suit of mine.

I like making eye contact, to me it let's people know that I am interested in what they say. But it is okay to not do it all the time. JMO it is equally unfair to accuse someone of being a liar because they maintain eye contact as it is to say are a liar because they don't.

stuckinsc wrote:I like making eye contact, to me it let's people know that I am interested in what they say. But it is okay to not do it all the time. JMO it is equally unfair to accuse someone of being a liar because they maintain eye contact as it is to say are a liar because they don't.

I am like that as well. In fact, I make it a point to look into people eyes when I talk to them or when they are talking to me. I do think though not everyone is comfortable when I do that as many do tend to look away. I don't think it makes them look bad, nor do I think they are being disrespectful.

All I know is I would expect a man to maintain eye contact when he is telling his partner that he loves her. Nick most definitely could not do that with Kaitlyn. Who knows why.

I definitely think that Nick, who is living in LA, taking acting lessons, trying to build a career in entertainment, doing loads of publicity and podcasts for the franchise and vehemently defended that TPTB did not attempt to manipulate an edit, knew that there was a chance he could be in the running for Bachelor lead if he managed to win over fans.

Good for him. He got what he wanted.

But is he anymore deserving or genuine than other guys in the running??? Hardly.

Nick is good tv and a good little soldier for the franchise. Bonus...he is also media trained!

I missed where Nick said he was more deserving and genuine than other guys being considered for TB. Where can I find that?

I'm doing a marathon of the Bachelorette Kaitlyn episodes, because I just can't stand Kaitlyn and I skipped that season  because I'm kind of excited to watch Nick on the Bachelor, but I truly haven't watched him in any season he's been on but was just reading and hearing about his antics.. (I only watched that infamous after rose confrontation with Andie, and that's the only thing I go by, as far as my knowledge about this guy.)

I was  actually wondering about Nick's mannerisms while talking to people and didn't expect that  this is the hot topic in this thread.

It seems to me Nick is always nervous around people, he sometimes overcompensate by being flirtatious or just avoiding long conversations by locking lips with whoever he's with. It's not only the lack of eye contact, but the way he presents himself to people during conversation.   Maybe he is always lost for words or he can't figure out what to say? I'm watching his conversation with Kaitlyn's mom,  he was blubbering something incoherent, and then he was crying and being emotional   what is the deal with this guy?

Do you guys think he really fell in love with Kaitlyn or Andi?   He's really a puzzle and really hard to read.   It will take one bitchin woman to understand, tame his nervous and rebellious energy and make him really likable to the public.. and this is why I'm excited to watch this season.

I think it will be a fun season. If anything the snark will be fresh instead of manic.