MAFS - Season 4 - Nick Pendergrast - Sonia Granados

@GuardianAngel I think she meant that it doesn't take away from their love story even though it's now over.

I never really believed that Nick was into her and that she could do better. Hopefully she'll find someone who sees her as special.

I really liked them and hoped this worked out...IMO...I think Sonia gave up on the marriage...in a lot of ways she tried...but I feel in a lot of ways she didn't...I feel that he was in love with her...just look how much he seemed to fear losing her on the show...I think she loved him, but was not in love with him...he always seemed focused on the marriage...she seemed focused on everything else...it's good to have a heart for people...and no doubt she is a good person...but I felt she didn't focus on him enough...I feel Nick made a big mistake in the beginning...but he worked on the 3 r's that are so important...recognition, repair, and remorse...I didn't see it from her...I don't think Nick gave up...I feel she did...I don't think this was mutual.

I see it the other way around. I think it was Sonia that was always trying so hard with him, and he was just not into it, but he tried. I think she loved him, I'm not sure if it was reciprocal.

Together they may have felt the marriage is not giving each other what they are looking for.

desilucy2 wrote:I really liked them and hoped this worked out...IMO...I think Sonia gave up on the marriage...in a lot of ways she tried...but I feel in a lot of ways she didn't...I feel that he was in love with her...just look how much he seemed to fear losing her on the show...I think she loved him, but was not in love with him...he always seemed focused on the marriage...she seemed focused on everything else...it's good to have a heart for people...and no doubt she is a good person...but I  felt she didn't focus on him enough...I feel Nick made a big mistake in the beginning...but he worked on the 3 r's that are so important...recognition, repair, and remorse...I didn't see it from her...I don't think Nick gave up...I feel she did...I don't think this was mutual.

That's kind of my impression as well. I think it was a slow burn for Nick but he eventually got further than she did. I don't think it's giving up though, if after a year of trying you decide it's just not what you want for the rest of your life. No one should stay in an unhappy marriage. But even though I generally like Sonia, her SM bothers me. She just comes off very attention seeking tweeting up a storm every day and replying to random strangers. I just feel like that's not a healthy thing to focus on and she'd be better off seeking validation elsewhere. JMO.

Yes...that's sort of my point...and most of her statements are "I," and "me." She kept talking about the homeless, foster care, care and doing good deeds...All that is fine and well...but I feel if she spent half the time communicating with Nick, I think that we would have had a different outcome...I think that she quit communicating at some point and that he was trying to communicate with her through tweets...what suprised me about this outcome is that just a few months ago, she tweeted that she was trying to see if they could adopt foster children...why would you do this if you and your spouse aren't on stable ground...then she posted to someone about Momma pants and that she hoped to be wearing them soon...how is that if you are divorcing your husband???

Yes Nick was slow to burn, but I feel given the circumstances that was appropriate.

I believe that he loved her and fought for her every step of the way...he was just competing with the homeless, foster children, and everyone else.

My point is...if you want to be married to Nick or anyone else, your focus needs to be on them in the house...not everyone on the street...I am a public servant and proudly serve my tour of duty...but when I come home...it's time to care of home.

I think Sonia is a good person with good messages...but I am starting to wonder if she didn't use the show to have a platform.

I wish them both much happiness...but since Nick said he would be "really bummed," if it ended...I'm pretty sure he is devasted...and except for the one outburst he had...I feel that he has shown her the upmost respect...in so many ways.. her not so much.

The other point I forgot to make was look how long it took her to move back in??? All the experts told her that it would be best...she waited until like two days before the decision in a 6 week process...this is why I say that he did not give up on her...he worked to get her back into the house..his communication...his husband goals...I did not see her do that...she kept saying she wasn't ready...but even during the 6 week process they fostered a kid for a few days...it was not shown on the show...but Nick mentioned it...he was working toward marriage, kids and forever...she was working for everything else...I mean how much validation does one need? And I have found that the only people that try to help people in such an overt way...do it for their own self validation and happiness.

IIRC he told her he has to be attracted to her in order to work on the relationship, and that's why she left. I would have done the same thing, not so sure that I would come back though.

ETA: I went to look for it.

After he gets up to go into another room, a show producer stops him and says that relationships take work. "You got to be attracted to the person to have that relationship — that's all I'm saying," Pendergrast viciously fires back in front on Granados, 33.

PHOTOS: Failed Reality TV Romances
The vacation rental manager then tells the camera about his frustrations: "You tell me what you want me to open up about! I don't like her. That's opening up — I can't open up any more than that. I don't think she's attractive, and I'm not attracted to her, and that is me opening up to the fullest f--king extent."
http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/married-at-first-sights-sonia-moves-out-after-spat-with-nick-w440437

They seem to be fine considering they both posted love story tweets.

Yes...I mentioned the one drunken outburst...it was horrible...but Nick learned his lesson, that in a drunken stupor, you still have to be empathetic in what you say...I agree with her moving out initially...but why not stay in the next room...and she chose to forgive him...you have forgiven someone if it isn't fully...she kept saying how "in it," he was, but the question was she? His outburst was horrible...she chose to forgive him and stay married...if she didn't forgive him truly...then she should have opted for divorce at the 6 week mark. He did a lot of work...her...I don't see it...to me...she was never fully committed to the relationship...she was committed to everyone and everything else.

Just to preface this, I have a Bachelor's degree in Social Work and a Master's Degree in Social Welfare, both from the University of Washington. I worked as a social worker for about 28 years and published articles in national social work journals.

In my world, Sonia would be seen as a bit of a rogue (and not in a good way) for using her own money to feed the homeless outside of sanctioned programs that might already exist and by constantly tweeting and commenting about herself. There would be concern among both colleagues and superiors that she doesn't have good professional boundaries. It would be frowned upon, believe me.

I recall, too, that during the series, Sonia told one of the experts that she doesn't have very good communication skills. I thought, "Really??? You're a social worker! Communication is the very essence of the profession!" I was gobsmacked.

Anyway, my 2 cents...

Yes...provenceguy...I'm not a social worker...but I work in public service...so I know how important it is to have boundaries with people...and leaving work at work...she reminds me of a bit of a narcissist who only does what she does to seek attention and validate herself...she has referred to herself as a "broke," philanthropist...who drove a Lexus...I'm really starting to wonder if she used this show as a platform...I think she wanted to find love (the most that she is capable of love) or financial security...and if the marriage didn't work out, she would have a platform for her over the top social concern

Sonia said somewhere that she had to move jobs during/after filming because her co-workers tried to write her up due to the show. So @provenceguy, it's not just in your world where her actions are frowned upon.

I don't know what to think of her to be honest. It bothers me when I see her snap and tweet about her clients. Even though she doesn't name names, it's still weird that she's talking about her work to thousands of followers. There's a fine line between raising awareness and being unprofessional. I also think all her inspirational stuff and rants about self-love and whatnot make her seem kind of insecure. If you truly love yourself and know your worth, you don't need to consciously remind yourself of it all the time. I also suspect she never really forgave Nick for his outburst and that was hanging over their marriage like a dark cloud. It's hard to fall in love with someone if you're harbouring resentment towards them. All JMO.

I don't believe for a minute that this was mutual...his silence speaks volumes...her social media vomit and her "it's water under the bridge," attitude, and her choice of topics are tacky at this time