Jared Haibon - Bachelorette 11 -BIP - Season 3 - Discussion

Jared and Ashley deserve each other. Two rotten peas in a pod. Actually more like two piles of     on the sidewalk.
JMO

@dee I'd forgotten about how awful she was to Claire. Wow, there's just no words. I don't understand how any sane person would want to remain friends with someone who treats other people this way. I think the only explanation is that he takes some satisfaction in knowing that someone has gone this insane over him and he doesn't want to let it go. I thought maybe he might've realized something... but no he's just going to continue along this path of madness. What a sick and twisted way to live.

Wow, strong feelings here.  I get that Jared has made a lot of mistakes regarding Ashley I but that doesn't mean he's not a nice person imo. It seems to me that he tries to downplay or ignore the things she says because he doesn't want a confrontation. I also don't think she's as crazy/mean irl as tv Ashley is or so many people wouldn't like her. I sincerely hope she doesn't cry and carry on like that irl. Having said that, the ball's in Jared's court now. He can continue to hang out with Ashley and scare away other women or he can smarten up and say goodbye. JMO

Unless,  it's the tptb persona, her father is a Dr. I think
if it were true she would have been put in a straight 
jacket by now.she said on Afterbuzz in RL I hardly cry
not daily, not even weekly. Supposedly they have psychological 
help for those that need it on the show. IMO it's BS. 

I would liken the psychological "help" on this show similar to those found on other reality tv shows. They're there to do immediate intervention if there is a life threatening issue. Otherwise, they offer temporary support and then refer to another professional for further follow up. Most likely they don't even give you a reference.
Because her father is a physician means little to nothing to me. No one is immune to denial or subjective assessment when it comes to something personal.
Either way, this show is not anyone's friend. All parties in this triangle came out smelling a bit worse for the wear, IMO.

albean99 wrote:Wow, strong feelings here.  I get that Jared has made a lot of mistakes regarding Ashley I but that doesn't mean he's not a nice person imo. It seems to me that he tries to downplay or ignore the things she says because he doesn't want a confrontation. I also don't think she's as crazy/mean irl as tv Ashley is or so many people wouldn't like her. I sincerely hope she doesn't cry and carry on like that irl. Having said that, the ball's in Jared's court now. He can continue to hang out with Ashley and scare away other women or he can smarten up and say goodbye. JMO

Debatable :winkie: But I'll move my thoughts about her onto her own thread.

And yup, ball is in Jared's court. He just has none. It's going to be the same vicious cycle with outside parties being affected by their sick game. JMO. From the interviews he has has given post show, they are still bffs. Nothing has changed. I don't think they see anything wrong with their weird friendship/relationship. Same , different season.

I agree Kasha, esp about parents not seeing a prob. 
With saying that I still think it's an act, on her part
and she being encouraged. It's just to bazaar.

I wouldn't trust TPTB with the psychological health of a ficus tree.  TPTB are not your friend. They are there to use these people for all they are worth in order to create "good tv".  They know these people's weaknesses and they use those weakness every chance they get.  People are cast specifically because they have those weaknesses, IMO.

TPTB legally must say that they have psychological staff available, but with all the looney tunes that have appeared on this show over the years, it is obvious to me that they have a very broad interpretation of sanity. As far as AI's dad being a Dr and how he would have intervened by now on her behalf, sometimes those closest to the person cannot see the problem (for many reasons not the least of which is denial). A person such as AI may very well function well in other aspects of her life and not necessarily be walking around all day every day crying.  Therefore, her family and Jared may choose to overlook the OTT behavior that she displays when it comes to her love life and her obsessive behavior with Jared.  

IMO, from what I have observed, AI is liked by other cast so she must have some redeeming qualities, yet her abhorrent obsessiveness over Jared is just beyond the bounds of acceptable behavior.  The only way I can make sense of that is that she is able to function fairly normally in most areas of her life but she has a real issue when it comes to her romantic life.  It is like she is two different people -- the likable friend of many cast and the horrible, crazed, desperate stalker of Jared. I believe that she can be both. I do not think any of this TV AI is acting. I think it is encouraged and prodded by TPTB, but outside of this show (through SM and conversations) she displays much of the same despicable behaviors.  If Jared does not wake up and smell the coffee (after all of AI's comments pre-show, on the show, post show) I don't know if he ever will see the reality of this unhealthy relationship he has with her. They should be seeking out counseling, IMO. They probably would qualify for a Buy 1 Get 1 50% Off deal.

JMHOAA.  I always try to dig deeper and find the real reason that people behave a certain way.  Yes, people can act selfishly and mean, but to me her behavior is pathological and has a root cause.  Jared needs to realize that she needs professional help at this point, and he is not a behavioral health professional. He needs to stop enabling her, encourage her to seek help, and then stop all contact with her. If he cannot do that, like I said, he also should seek counseling. Nothing shameful about seeking professional help with a problem. Like I said, JMOAA.

siena wrote:JJ's tweet... he sees the future. Too bad Jared can't.

I agree, Jared and Ashley have created a toxic co-dependent relationship. Hearing the way Ashley spoke about him, that she can get into his mind was beyond creepy. On some level, this level of attention is something Jared wants. If he didn't he would not be in contact with her AT ALL. With how things are, he will not be able to have a long-term relationship with anyone. As long as he puts importance on maintaining a relationship with Ashley, every other person will be pushed away.

By now Jared has seen what Ashley has said. If this still isn't enough for him to cut the cord then I am not sure what will be the final straw for him. *shudder*

Marriage...to Ashley.

I don't think he will marry Ashley. I don't think he even likes her enough to date her. I see no chemistry there. JMO
ETA: More than that, I think if Jared succumbed to her obsessiveness and dated her, she would see he is not close to what she thought he was and be disappointed. She would end up dumping him. However, I never see it getting to that point.

Kashathediva wrote:I don't think he will marry Ashley. I don't think he even likes her enough to date her. I see no chemistry there. JMO

But she knows how to get into his head and she is nothing if not persistent. If he is as wussy as people think, eventually she will just wear him down.
I said last year after their stint that they would be dating and apparently they tried. Unless he grows some balls ASAP, I'm calling it....Mr. and Mrs. I would

IMO Jared is experiencing some serious cognitive dissonance.

*AshleyI tells Jared that she's in love with him... A couple of days later Caila tells Jared that Ashley is in love with him and he says that he doesn't think she is.

*Jared says to Caila that he knows Ashley has been an obstacle for them and that he doesn't want that... The next day he hangs out with Ashley and has a conversation about Caila and his relationship.  

*Ashley sabotaged Caila by not even wanting her to meet Jared. Jared knows this... A few days later Jared says that he believes Ashley when she says she would never sabotage him.  

*Ashley makes it clear that she can never see him as just a friend, is awful to Caila because she was in the way, gets Caila to leave BIP because of the drama... A few weeks later Jared goes on vacation with her.

*Jared knows that he cannot have a healthy functioning relationship with Ashley. He knows that it is toxic. He knows that he cannot have a long-term relationship with someone whilst he keeps this friendship... He chooses to remain Ashley's friend.