Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #2

I agree. Sorry world's smallest violin over here.

Alanna wrote:I don't mind when Kait does it and don't mind Lauren either. W(hy)tf does anyone think it's appropriate to make a comment on anything related to that? Just because the girl was on a reality show doesn't make her open season for useless comments. If you wouldn't say it to your friend in person, don't say it to a stranger online is probably a good rule of thumb.

I agree. And I'm glad she's replied. Anyone going on other people's sm to post rude comments is lacking in life, and I'm glad they are getting called out. There are enough people agreeing with Lauren and 'defending' her (she didn't do anything wrong to be defended for), and the trolls are in the minority. But sm bullying is real, it affects people, and good on anyone calling them out.

Regarding ignoring- Okay but at what point do we stop telling the women to ignore these trolls and start telling the under the bridge dwellers to rejoin society with basic, human decency towards their fellow man?

IDK probably just me, if I don't want others to comment on my sm--I make my privacy settings so they can't.Wow. How prolific. Simple. I must be a fugging genius.

I don't think it's a question of being a fugging genius at all- why should women accommodate some freakos instead of these trolls learning we as a society don't accept this?

The trolls are never going to have any decency. They're only saying what they're saying because it's online and they can be anonymous. Most of them would never say any of this in real life where there can be consequences. It's merely a nice fantasy to think that calling out online bullies is going to change anything or make a difference.

I do understand why it bothers Lauren and Kaitlyn to hear this though. I'm a thin woman like they are and I've gotten a lot of the same comments they get. It used to bother me a lot. I think they need to realize that there are many more women who would kill to have their bodies even the ones who are making these nasty comments. These comments are most likely coming out of place of insecurity not because they actually think either woman looks bad.

All JMO.

That is why even how harsh and hard to take this stupid opinions . They will response to this opinions they won't go away. It is hard to control public opinions. Once you put yourself in public you can't guarantee several opinions to stop. Let ignore and die . Let them be stupid . Unless you make it private after all. jmo.

Everyone should be allowed an off day. She's human and clearly this is a trigger for her and she snapped. I can forgive her. It has to be extremely difficult reading that crapola constantly.

What I don't even get - Instagram, it's not even that anonymous. Most people are using their actual names, have actual real life friends attached. I would never in 5 million years use my personal social media accounts cyber bully a couple reality stars. Why? Because A. That's a $hitty thing to do, and a waste of my time. I don't follow the people I don't like let alone comment on their crap, but B. My real life people could track those comments down through my accounts... And that's embarrassing.

bluwavz wrote:I wish she didn't respond in the manner that she did. She gave the trolls exactly what they wanted and now they know for sure that the weight comments get under her skin. It'd be better for her to just let it go. She's an attractive woman with a great body. I just can't imagine myself caring what a bunch of trolls think if I looked like her.

Also I rolled my eyes when JJ got in on the discussion. He's quite a nasty piece of work himself so to see him lecturing the trolls hating on Lauren was laughable to me.

All JMO.

JJ the troll should never call anyone out about anything. But like all trolls he is repulsive enough and such a hypocrite that he thinks that people should listen to him.

I do not blame Lauren for getting upset, I just wish for her that she hadn't done it. They will now attack that even more, they found her weak spot and will push and push and push on it since they get no reaction when they try the JoJo crap. That is why it is sad to me, because this will not make it better it will make it worse.

Alanna wrote:I don't mind when Kait does it and don't mind Lauren either. W(hy)tf does anyone think it's appropriate to make a comment on anything related to that? Just because the girl was on a reality show doesn't make her open season for useless comments. If you wouldn't say it to your friend in person, don't say it to a stranger online is probably a good rule of thumb.

Actually, if I was worried a friend was getting too thin and might have something healthwise happening, I would ask directly, but I would not put it in a nasty way, more a concerned way.

Alanna wrote:Regarding ignoring- Okay but at what point do we stop telling the women to ignore these trolls and start telling the under the bridge dwellers to rejoin society with basic, human decency towards their fellow man?

SM trolls are one of the lowest forms of humanity. They unfortunately don't learn when people attack back instead they get the negativity they love and will pick on it more and more. These aren't human beings they are trolls. JMO.

Kashathediva wrote:IDK probably just me, if I don't want others to comment on my sm--I make my privacy settings so they can't.Wow. How prolific. Simple. I must be a fugging genius.

I completely agree, make it private and the trolls can't get to you. Choose to stay public, then ignore or you will just make it worse. No one has to have a public SM, they do it for endorsements or because they enjoy the praise of all these randos more than the negative hurts them. Again, JMO.

bluwavz wrote:The trolls are never going to have any decency. They're only saying what they're saying because it's online and they can be anonymous. Most of them would never say any of this in real life where there can be consequences. It's merely a nice fantasy to think that calling out online bullies is going to change anything or make a difference.

I do understand why it bothers Lauren and Kaitlyn to hear this though. I'm a thin woman like they are and I've gotten a lot of the same comments they get. It used to bother me a lot. I think they need to realize that there are many more women who would kill to have their bodies even the ones who are making these nasty comments. These comments are most likely coming out of place of insecurity not because they actually think either woman looks bad.

All JMO.

I am insanely jealous, since I am a naturally fat/fluffy woman and have fought my weight my whole life. That being said, some of my good friends are naturally thin and it has many drawbacks. Unfortunately people are mean spirited and jealous, IMO no one should be shamed about their bodies.

I personally prefer to mock people for their ignorance and sometimes stupid hair and fashion statements. I don't mock people for things that they either can't change or are insanely hard to change like the their looks, their voice or their bodies. I also don't mock people on sexuality or religion (unless they use that religion to hate others), those things just aren't funny to me.

Alanna wrote:I don't think it's a question of being a fugging genius at all- why should women accommodate some freakos instead of these trolls learning we as a society don't accept this?

Why? Because unfortunately there are those out there that are not going to accommodate others no matter how hard we bang our heads. That does not mean we have to keep on banging. That does not mean we have to put up with it. If you can make your sm private--like closing the windows and doors of your own house to keep out intruders--then at least sanctity can exist within personal bounds/sm. That is my why.
Trolls have alway existed and are not going to go away whether right or wrong because I want it to be so.

I don't understand why she should ignore it. Bullies get more aggressive because they think you will cower and hide.  Read countless articles that you stand up for yourself when you get bullied and others should stand up for others when you witness bullying.

Ignoring does not put bullies in their place.

I think we have to agree that for the most part Lauren doesn't respond to the negative. She's gone months without. And then in the last few days she's made two comments. It's interesting how the Jojo comments are something she doesn't seem to be bothered by, she finally responded the other day very gracefully and said jojo's a babe, we have a greater purpose than constantly comparing each other and that was that. I'd venture the Jojo thing doesn't bother her because she's very secure in Ben's love and it's less a personal attack and more about the show.

Then there's the weight attacks. And for most women, even men, that takes it to a very personal level. Again, she's been silent but recently, she's been working out, is very trim and some of Ben's pictures accentuate that fact. Cue everyone's comments as of late. Clearly Ben doesn't think about this when he posts because he's in love and trying to show that and his girl off. I personally think her comments were meant to be sarcastic and funny. The all caps and tagging Amanda made it seem like she was mimicking the comments. I drank a lot of wine with Amanda on the show and now I am not. Stop hating, bye type vibe. And then asking Ben to find a better pic like after the gym when she's all "swoll"... I think she's just trolling the trolls.

I don't think the answer is making accounts private because well the type of people that go on this show don't want private accounts. And as a fan, I don't want them to have private accounts. It's like watching a movie but in this case it doesn't end, we get to keep watching it all play out. I think that's what I like most about this show. You have to have the mindset that if you're going to post on social media with a lot of followers, than with all those "likes" are going to come the nonsense. If you realize that's just what it is, nonsense, you can get over it rather easy.

I figure as Lauren and Ben have done, they will continue to ignore the noise for the most part, as they should, and go about their lives. They strike me as two people who know what matters and won't get too caught up in it all. And on the rare occasion they want to stick up for themselves, I'm ok with that too, just remember what truly matters at the end of the day.