Nick Viall - Bachelorette 10 - 11 - Discussion #9

Mia, where have you been? Love your posts!
Anyway, like Nick or not, IMO, he has handled negativity with grace, maturity and humor. He's staying quiet on Andi and her book. I have no doubt he's moved on completely.

Hi, everybody! I haven't been posting since Ben's season ended. I am staying unspoiled again this season. So, I have to avoid a lot of other threads so as not to get accidentally spoiled.

I came back to read about 150 posts about Andi's new book. With every post I was more and more disgusted by her. The way she trashed Josh and Nick is horrible.

I haven't kept up to date with Nick. I was unaware that he moved to LA and is modeling. I think many contestants on this show are adventure seekers who are willing to put their stable careers on hold for a while to pursue a dream (to find love or success or to take advantage of opportunities that arise from this show). Nick did some modeling when he lived in Chicago, so I am not completed surprised by his move. He's not getting any younger, so if he ever wanted to model, this is the time to do it. If it runs its course and fizzles out, he can always go back to software sales (right?) and he can do that anywhere.

I agree that it's not what these people choose to do, but rather how they choose to do it. If Andi had written a book about tennis, Atlanta bed and breakfasts, or even a respectable insider about the franchise, I would have been able to respect that. Instead she chose to write a hit job on her exes. I am just hoping that the men ignore her and the book and not get sucked into her toxic drama.

To date Nick have not acknowledge the book and that is good in my view.

MiaHawk wrote:

I simply think that Nick asked her a question and she lied to him, telling him she wanted to "Make love" because she wanted him to think she was going to pick him in the end. Then when he called her out for her behavior at ATFR, he was able to use her own words against her. This pissed her off.  Therefore, instead of taking responsibility for the answer she gave Nick, she rather trash him by saying that his question in the first place was "creepy" (Was that the actual book description?) It's just her way of turning it all around and not accepting responsibility for her own actions.  
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But who the H*** knows! She is a mystery wrapped in a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a bitch to me. JMHO.    

Awesome post Mia great to have you back.
Your analysis above just showed me how much worse she actually is if this happens to be true!!!
Her comments about her sexual attitude and feminism etc. completely contradict this point about being turned off by Nick's question. I think you're onto something where she's always playing mind games and this is her way of one-upping Nick who had "won" the last mind game between the two of them (whether or not he's aware of it or it matters to him) if this is true it is sooo soo sad that she's so obviously not over it and she's spinning negativity and toxicity when he's obviously moved on. I too found the comment from her super confusing esp given her bragging of her sexual attitude!! In the middle of a tussle wouldn't that question actually be flattering and "dirty talk"? Esp coming from a guy who professed his love to her...

Whew did Nick ever dodge a bullet tho??

The "effing vs. Making love" comment is disgusting and I see why Andi was so turned off by that. And I do think it is the mindset of the people doing it. Him mentioning "making love" on the ATFR, was very manipulative. Him saying he liked effing , but then asking her why she made love to him was manipulative. I don't like Andi either, but wow. I kind of liked him on Andi's season, but then when he came to Kaitlyn's season , ugh it was sleazy.  Now with all of his show off my body instagram posts. I've also seen him make rude comments back to people on IG. Hopefully he really is done with any of these shows. *IMO*

I am glad this is a discussion thread because personally I believe there are as many different reasons to have sex as their are reasons to eat food or drink beverages or buy a pair of shoes.

Sex is an appetite. So sometimes it fulfills a need -whether lust(and people in love can lust as well as people who simply want to get laid) or not. Sometimes you just need it. There are actually neurological reasons for this. It can lessen anxiety levels when certain neurotransmitters are released during climax. Yada yada.
Sometimes you want to make a sensual experience and draw it out--like a wine tasting or cake tasting. It's a whole nirvana.
Sometimes that need is not as much in one person as in another. Does not make it wrong or right. We are all different. I love sweets. My DH does not. He loves red meat--I only like it on occasion. I have to be in the mood.

IMO--Nick gave MEandI a choice between red meat or a fine wine tasting. She chose a fine wine tasting experience vs a chow down, fill your face with meat experience. This was her choice.
Now whether or not she liked it after the fact is her problem.
As Judge Judy always says--you ate the steak, you have to pay for it. You don't ask for your money back after the steak is gone. If you don't like/want the steak--don't eat it.
Maybe MEandI should stick to vegan. It looks like meat has gotten her in plenty of messes.

I just don't think it's a respectful thing to say to someone, especially someone you might be about to get engaged to. To me "effing" is some thing you do with someone who is just a hookup. At least that's what I've heard people refer to it as. I would be insulted if someone said that, because it just seems like what you do with any random hookup, not a potential fiance. I think it was a bad move for him to say that in the fantasy date, not really romantic. JMO.

And that is why a choice was given, IMO.
Not everyone has sex for romance. Sometimes what is wanted is raw animalistic passion. There are plenty of romance books out there labeled bodice rippers for just that reason.
Sometimes you want what you want---like fast food. It satisfies a need there and then.
It can be hookup.
You can also do that because you love the person and are comfortable enough in both of your own skins to say this is what I want now and I am so ok with that.
The important thing is being on the same page with communication.
So if I said I wanted a soul searching, gut wrenching concerto and got that and then later realized I only wanted a hi there, let's play and nice to know ya, see ya around--it's changing the rules mid-stream and not ok...in my eyes.
In my experience, and I am no longer in the hip crowd, what was said is so ok. In fact it respectfully asks what do you want before we get there and have an issue.

Effing is something you can do with someone you're in love with as well. And a lot of folks get turned on by "disrespectful" talk. Not everyone wants to "make love" all the time even with someone they love or for sex to be some polite purified act. Ess okay and all JMO.

BTW does vegan = going lesbian? Or am I way off?

I think whether you are with a man or woman, sex can be confusing at best.
Probably the only time sex is not confusing is when you have it with yourself. (unless you have multiple personalities and can you imagine that kind of talk? Stop stop, faster, harder, spank me, I love it when you talk dirty oh shut up already.)
So maybe that is vegan in my opinion.

bluwavz wrote:Effing is something you can do with someone you're in love with as well. And a lot of folks get turned on by "disrespectful" talk. Not everyone wants to "make love" all the time even with someone they love or for sex to be some polite purified act. Ess okay and all JMO.

BTW does vegan = going lesbian? Or am I way off?

Thank you for making this point! I wanted to post something like it but was too embarrassed. But yes if you are in love with someone there is no need to pretend you are always respectful, to me asking that question was the respectful thing to do. And his coments on likeing to eff more often were cute and a very "guy thing" to say IMO.

Kashathediva wrote:I think whether you are with a man or woman, sex can be confusing at best.
Probably the only time sex is not confusing is when you have it with yourself. (unless you have multiple personalities and can you imagine that kind of talk? Stop stop, faster, harder, spank me, I love it when you talk dirty oh shut up already.)
So maybe that is vegan in my opinion.

Omg @Kashathediva you are always so flipping hilarious!