The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - Women Tell All -*Sleuthing - Spoilers*

Mommyof1 wrote:

aviej wrote:I get that she's sweet, she certainly seems so. And her relationship with Ben is admirable. I more liken it to two high schoolers though who are not yet fully mature. But I cannot deny the special moments shared between the two. But I also cannot deny that I left a whole season knowing practically nothing about her. Even her sister asked her if she can be her true self. That to me was a significant statement. I do get that she tries to be all things to all men. She does convey the need to be perfect kind of image. I sure she's nice, but I would have loved to see the real her, that's all. She just came off as squeaky clean, which is IMO is a red flag.

ITA!  I know nothing about her.  I know more about JoJo and Jubilee than I do Lauren.  Was her edit supposed to be Lauren B-land?  Am I missing something?   I hope she surprises me at ATFR, but I won't be holding my breath.    

Did you (we) really get to know about Ben?

Lauren just seems to be a bit calmer personality, doesn't need to be in the front and centre, but can have fun and let loose. And I actually admire her for not talking about her ex on the show, he didn't sign up for it. Plus if he's leaking bs stories to the press after a 3 year relationship, she's better of never mentioning him again.
Reserved people who are not natural in front of tv, well they don't make very diverting reality tv shows but it doesn't mean they're shady.

If Ben was able to fall for 2 girls in this short time after being dumped by Kaitlin, and JoJo (who still has her ex hung up on her) can fall for Ben, I have no problem believing Lauren really fell for Ben as well.

hm interesting. I don't feel like i got to know any of these people well other than jubilee and even her it was just the beginning. it's fascinating to see that some felt like they got to know some of the women pretty well.

I wonder if we might be able to list the things we do know about the F2 + F1.It may be that i'm a bit out of the loop....

Jojo -- had a boyfriend till recently, he had her as a 2nd girl while dating another and now after her being on the show is chasing her, this makes her afraid of falling in love again, she does real estate, her family is very well off, her brothers are overprotective, she has a fun and spunky dallas social life though she thinks the guys there aren't great, close with her mom, has a christian foundation,  

Lauren -- had a boyfriend till 6 months ago, she usually falls in love quickly and it's not worked out in her favor in the past, has a family that's very close and strong in their religion, she is a flight attendant but lives in LA, she has a fun and full social life in LA with what seems to be a set of loyal girlfriends, she likes animals, had a dog, likes to party and drink socially, enjoys travel

written out in this way the things we know about them seem pretty even, no? I do think 100% jojo is more able to be raw and vulnerable while lauren is reserved and introverted. I think that's what influences how/whether ppl feel like they know them rather than the actual things we do know about them. For instance, if Lauren talked about her ex-boyfriend and that relationship on the show (which i do think she did but it wasn't aired) ppl might feel they know her better. Social media behavior is also unique to each person.

In any case -- I do think diff personalities "take to" tv differently e.g. think about kipton and jillian ...completely different in how they come across on our tvs and this is after years of being personalities on multiple bachelor shows.

The quieter characters actually rarely ever make the big splash we think they might e.g. think about if lauren's easy to fall in love story was exaggerated at every turn...

However, being quiet doesn't make you relatable. I totally relate to jojo better than I do Lauren -- I don't think that points to either of them being too controlled and not wanting to share things about themselves. I think it's just the diff in their personalities imho

Add to Jojo, family have had experience on a reality tv gig about finding love.

Co-owns her dog with her ex.

Per Mollies comment to Lauren .. It had been almost a year since her last relationship...

I think Lauren just isn't as naturally outspoken or outgoing, and that doesn't always make good television, but makes her pretty normal and sweet in real life. JoJo can totally carry a show, so hopefully she'll be the Bachelorette.

Jeepers wrote:Per Mollies comment to Lauren .. It had been almost a year since her last relationship...

Per Ben on FD, he knew from Lauren's family, she's NOT the type to just jump into things

I just wanted to say that even though I'm a true blue die-hard Lauren fan, watching Jojo in the spoilers really made me realize that I like her (I was in denial for a long time). She's the girl this season that really made me laugh out loud (the best for me was that scene of her and the pigs in the Bahamas, oh God, I will watch that on a really sad day and it will make me laugh) and it's very uncommon to me to find a girl very funny. The feeling reminds me of how I liked Kaitlyn Bristowe in Farmer Chris' season. There's something with the way Jojo is that's really fun and naturally funny. I think it's because she's very conscious of herself so she laughs at herself when she finds out she did something funny. I'm still against BenJo, but I would love to watch her as Bachelorette and will be excited for her to find her true love.
I really love the final 6 girls this season... Except for Caila, I'm indifferent to her.

I personally don't think it is the comfortability (or lack of) being on TV that made Lauren looks bland to many, it is the "moves" she made over the course that at least keep me wonder, there is something very off with this girl. And I get that some people are just move reserved than others and they may not be able to open up easily, but I seldom see contestants who changed their whole demeanor in maybe 2 episodes.

Take Leslie M on Sean's Season as the examples. She is reserved, she is uncomfortable in front of TV, let alone to open up to say those magic words. She has been consistent during the whole process, she didn't change suddenly from "being realistic and level-headed" to "being so crazily in love because Sean is the best man".

In Lauren B's case, I see a dramatic change of her. If she really is that confident woman who knows her values and being realistic that people say she is, I think we won't see those "I see a life life with you", "I'm terrifiying by the strong feelings I have for you (raised the voice for many pitches), "I can't see myself living without Ben now" (all paraphrasing). This is why I think she is here to win.

emusha wrote:hm interesting. I don't feel like i got to know any of these people well other than jubilee and even her it was just the beginning. it's fascinating to see that some felt like they got to know some of the women pretty well.

I wonder if we might be able to list the things we do know about the F2 + F1.It may be that i'm a bit out of the loop....

Jojo -- had a boyfriend till recently, he had her as a 2nd girl while dating another and now after her being on the show is chasing her, this makes her afraid of falling in love again, she does real estate, her family is very well off, her brothers are overprotective, she has a fun and spunky dallas social life though she thinks the guys there aren't great, close with her mom, has a christian foundation,  

Lauren -- had a boyfriend till 6 months ago, she usually falls in love quickly and it's not worked out in her favor in the past, has a family that's very close and strong in their religion, she is a flight attendant but lives in LA, she has a fun and full social life in LA with what seems to be a set of loyal girlfriends, she likes animals, had a dog, likes to party and drink socially, enjoys travel

written out in this way the things we know about them seem pretty even, no? I do think 100% jojo is more able to be raw and vulnerable while lauren is reserved and introverted. I think that's what influences how/whether ppl feel like they know them rather than the actual things we do know about them. For instance, if Lauren talked about her ex-boyfriend and that relationship on the show (which i do think she did but it wasn't aired) ppl might feel they know her better. Social media behavior is also unique to each person.

In any case -- I do think diff personalities "take to" tv differently e.g. think about kipton and jillian ...completely different in how they come across on our tvs and this is after years of being personalities on multiple bachelor shows.

The quieter characters actually rarely ever make the big splash we think they might e.g. think about if lauren's easy to fall in love story was exaggerated at every turn...

However, being quiet doesn't make you relatable. I totally relate to jojo better than I do Lauren -- I don't think that points to either of them being too controlled and not wanting to share things about themselves. I think it's just the diff in their personalities imho

I agree about Jubilee.
IMO between Jojo and Lauren it seems like I got to know about Jojo more ONLY because she talked about her last relationship and I'm sure that's because it was going to come up again (which it did) and she was so heartbroken from it because it just ended right before the show started. I'm sure Lauren and Ben talked about past relationships but since it wasn't a major factor (he doesn't show up) and she had moved on and was ready to find a partner (I think she said 8 or 9 months?) why would the show, show any of that conversation.
I didn't watch last season with Kaitlyn and a lot of what I've learned about Ben has been through interviews and other SM. I haven't learned a great deal about him this season really. JMO

peggy0221 wrote:I personally don't think it is the comfortability (or lack of) being on TV that made Lauren looks bland to many, it is the "moves" she made over the course that at least keep me wonder, there is something very off with this girl. And I get that some people are just move reserved than others and they may not be able to open up easily, but I seldom see contestants who changed their whole demeanor in maybe 2 episodes.

Take Leslie M on Sean's Season as the examples. She is reserved, she is uncomfortable in front of TV, let alone to open up to say those magic words. She has been consistent during the whole process, she didn't change suddenly from "being realistic and level-headed" to "being so crazily in love because Sean is the best man".

In Lauren B's case, I see a dramatic change of her. If she really is that confident woman who knows her values and being realistic that people say she is, I think we won't see those "I see a life life with you", "I'm terrifiying by the strong feelings I have for you (raised the voice for many pitches), "I can't see myself living without Ben now" (all paraphrasing). This is why I think she is here to win.

I get your point, but don't you think it's possible that she really found true love in Ben? Like how do you even explain something that great happening to you? To me, this girl was changed by something she didn't expect she would find in The Bachelor. There were so many moments where she struggled to believe what was happening before her eyes. And then there was a turning point wherein she let go and started believing that what's unfolding is something real and it's too powerful she can't deny it anymore.

I know that it's hard to believe to find true love in The Bachelor, but maybe she really did find it with Ben. You have to believe to see.

I think there are a few people who have changed their tunes midway -- for the ones listed below I would say the increasing intensity of their emotions for the lead contributed to their behavior.

JP midway turned from fun, easygoing and funny guy who couldn't care less -- even Ashley pointed this out to him in epi 4 --- to the guy who had the jealousy head w/ anger, mood swings and irritability.

another example is Nick Viall who was extremely skeptical the first 2 episodes then he was all in full force with Andi. 2 epi's in he was the most shy, sweet guy then he suddenly became the edited "villian" who wouldn't care about others and was going full force for time with Andi.

It can be easy to dismiss these behaviors as -- their true natures are coming out...but in actuality -- people act differently when their feelings are involved. I don't know about others but I've seen that often in the real world where having feelings makes ppl shy, nervous, unsure of themselves, over-thinkers, even for some women/men enough to be labeled "crazy and clingy" this can be the most confident gregarious women/men. I mean look at Ashley I the funniest, fun girl but she's a complete mess when she's emotionally attached to a guy!!

If your real issue is consistency in behavior -- peggy there might be many more people than just Lauren on this show who you might find disingenuous. IMHO the way people behave on this show can be disingenuous but there could also be real reasons why they are reacting to certain situations based on their personality and the intensity of the experience they are feeling.