Married At First Sight - Season 4 - Episode Discussion - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

Oddly the only one that annoys me is the expert Rachel. She's nice enough but it's just her mannerism's and the way she talks that grates on me.

Eeek!! I missed the whole thing. Got so fed up with BIP I turned off the TV and fell asleep. Hopefully FYI will have re-runs during the week.

This edit feels more refreshing than ever. It seems lighter and more hopeful! I love all the couples. I am sad if the pot stuff is true because I liked those two together. Hoping for the best for all three couples, really connected to all three couples and invested in the outcome as of right now.

IA @robinvi At this point I like all three couples.

They mentioned "smoking" in the episode itself last night, and it's pretty clear they were talking about mj and not cigarettes. Although apparently Heather said she was okay with occasional use... but his definition of occasional was "once a week" which she indicated that to her, that was more than "occasional."

FYI, when I was in my 20's, I lived with people who smoked very regularly (although I don't smoke at all) and it didn't bug me; and I'd personally be okay with a guy that smoked once/week. I did get the feeling from the scene between the two that they were both kind of fibbing to the experts w/r/t smoking (Derek probably smokes more than once per week, and Heather probably meant that for her occasional is once a year at most). I don't think either are bad people for doing so, though. I think it's more just the type of misunderstanding that it's difficult to be fully open about.

In the vid posted in the SM thread, Jamie Otis speaks to family and friends. One of Derick's friends say that he did that in the moment of being on vacation. He didn't say what he was referring to but I imagine that's what he's talking about.

I hope it was a big deal like Jamie/Doug when he got caught smoking which ended up being a not so big deal. Also he stressed that Derek had said before he got married, that he would do anything to make it work. If he means that then I hope he would give it up if that is a deal breaker for her.

GA, I would think so. If he's a recreational user, as opposed to a medical user (i.e. he needs it for pain, anxiety, PTSD, etc.), it's really not a bad idea to give it up if it's a dealbreaker to your SO. Or maybe change his "occasional" to once-a-year as opposed to once-a-week.

Good point @kimberlyg once a year or maybe on vacation. I have a good friend who is like that. She will smoke cigarettes on vacation but never smokes them any other time. I have another friend who will only smoke when we get together to play cards.

kimberlyg wrote:GA, I would think so.  If he's a recreational user, as opposed to a medical user (i.e. he needs it for pain, anxiety, PTSD, etc.), it's really not a bad idea to give it up if it's a dealbreaker to your SO.  Or maybe change his "occasional" to once-a-year as opposed to once-a-week.

Thank you so much. That's what I have been saying. It's too late the reverse the marriage. They should just make the best of it. BUT I rewatched last night's show, she started checking out after the first red flag. The gambling stuff. Why did she just address it there and then? Joking say no more gambling instead of filing everything. So far she isn't handling everything with maturity.

Out of curiosity, how did he get it to PR? Does TSA not screen for substances?

I'm happily surprised by this season so far. Two of the couples are actually acting like couples and the third has already kissed as well. That's promising compared to last season's freakshow.

I don't think Tom living in a bus is that weird. Living small seems to be somewhat of a fad these days if all those tiny house shows and blogs are anything to go by. I couldn't do it, but I can appreciate the idea behind it. Hopefully he's not expecting to continue living like that though, since I don't think most women picture married life taking place in a vehicle. And no, it's not materialistic to expect to be able to turn in your bathroom.

I wouldn't be excited either if I found out that my new husband was a pothead (if it really is pot we're talking, not cigs), but I also got the sense that Heather is pretty quick to judge someone. You'll be hard pressed to find a person without any annoying habits, so I hope she at least tries to negotiate with him instead of just shutting down and dismissing him based on one thing she's not on board with. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life, always said there's no way I'd ever date a smoker, and what do you know, I ended up dating one. I got him to switch to e-cigs though, so it doesn't bother me anymore. I just know I would've missed out on a great guy if I'd dismissed him based on smoking, so I kind of worry about single people in their 30's who aren't willing to overlook anything they don't like, even when it's something that's not necessarily a constant. You have to be at least a little flexible unless you want to risk ending up alone.

Ruqibabe wrote:

kimberlyg wrote:GA, I would think so.  If he's a recreational user, as opposed to a medical user (i.e. he needs it for pain, anxiety, PTSD, etc.), it's really not a bad idea to give it up if it's a dealbreaker to your SO.  Or maybe change his "occasional" to once-a-year as opposed to once-a-week.

Thank you so much. That's what I have been saying. It's too late the reverse the marriage. They should just make the best of it. BUT I rewatched last night's show, she started checking out after the first red flag. The gambling stuff. Why did she just address it there and then? Joking say no more gambling instead of filing everything. So far she isn't handling everything with maturity.

I totally agree. Plus, I didn't get the impression that he visit's the casino on a regular basis or that he played poker on a regular basis. So, I'm not sure why it was such a big deal to Heather, unless she was expecting to be married to Mr. Perfect instead of who would be perfect for her.