The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - Episode 7 - Discussion - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

mindless wrote:It was so stupid when Ben and Amanda were acting like working at the drive-thru was like so amazing! A job that most people hate and only do for the money because it's the only one they can get? Wow, what an experience!

While I disliked the McDonald's ad in the show. I can see how that would be fun to do for a short period of time. Especially when they saw people's reactions to who was serving them.

So many posts I'd like to quote and have to settle for just a "drive-by Like" as I read them; those of you with a lot of Likes just know - one of them was probably mine. I was really looking forward to this episode (and candidly the date with Lauren) and for the most part it did not disappoint. The high points to me:

Lauren's date:
I thought the date with Lauren was well covered and they didn't rush it (it was my fear they would - to hide what was really going on between Ben and Lauren) but I think they showed it. Lots of different activities that day that showcased a lot of their interaction. IMO the kids saw the attraction between these two which is not too surprising. Kids often see body language more than adults do (smile at a baby and they will usually smile back); it's a "skill" we are born with and sometimes lose as our language skills develop. Then the private time to "talk through" the obstacle Leah presented last episode; a little contrived but then the whole obstacle was contrived (ie producer driven) so not surprising it felt that way - how do you seriously talk through a problem that isn't real in the first place? IMO at least they tried to show that these two can take a problem between them, talk openly about it and get to a resolution of it and that was the intent. Another story thread that they showed closed was that Ben wanted to take the girls (really just Lauren IMO) to see where he grew up so they (she) would understand what makes him who he is. And the one who really "got that" was Lauren when she said she was not in love with Ben the bachelor, she was in love with Ben from Warsaw, IN. I thought that was nicely played and good story telling. And for me that ITM with Lauren saying she was in love with Ben was the crown jewel of the date; she was very believable when she said that with good eye contact (with the camera or the producer) and she nodded her head "yes" as she said the words. As Tanner tweeted - she said she was in love and she showed in a quite genuine way that she was in love.

JoJo's date:
OK, another long date - they seem to have spent the whole day together - but doing what? Not much content to it that I could see. Ben was excited to be in Wrigley field as a fan but other than shagging a few balls and running a few bases, and having dinner in the in field - Ben and JoJo didn't seem to actually do anything - the date probably started in the morning, ended in late evening, and I would guess that what we saw of it were the high spots. I would have been bored to tears on that date and wonder how Ben and JoJo weren't; maybe they were. Of course I'm not particularly a baseball fan.

Group date:
Yawn. OK, Amanda got a rose and an assured HTD. And dinner at McDonald's. I really don't see much between Amanda and Ben - at best 3rd or maybe lower.

Emily's date:
So many times there's just a date that's so cringe-worthy that I cringe watching it. I'm sure that there was more back and forth to the conversation than just Emily spouting off drivel and everyone else rolling their eyes but that wasn't shown. So all we saw was the drivel and eye rolling. Emily's pretty - until she starts talking.

The RC:
OK - we actually did get to see the 4 Funerals And A Wedding we saw in the previews, but not CH saying "What you're contemplating would change everything". So I wonder just what it was that Ben was thinking. My guess - and it's only a guess - is that TPTB wanted Ben to give Becca a HTD (which is why one seemed to be a definite) and Ben didn't want to take her on a HTD because he just didn't see her as his wife and felt it best to send her home then as opposed to sending her home afterwards, and Ben won that discussion. He sent her home then (which is why the HTD got canceled).

The HTD preview:
Lauren - gets the same story line that Catherine got on her HTD - "there's still 3 other girls". Translation - her family saw the connection she has to Ben - more clearly than the connection Ben has to her - and didn't want to see her get hurt. Lauren will take the gamble anyway.
JoJo - the HTD that goes badly as there often is. Like Des' brother saw Sean wasn't really into Des, JoJo's family may sense that Ben isn't so much into JoJo.
The others - basically going through the necessary motions as IMO Amanda and Caila really aren't players in the same league.

As I read Lucas' excellent review, I believe she is on to something. IMO Ben is the "compliant child" and really wants tptb to get the show they're looking for- perhaps they really wanted the Becca HTD and that's why there was so much chatter at that time (during filming) that it was happening. BUT Ben really didn't want to "blindside" her after visiting her family- so maybe he was supposed to send another home (Caila?) according to the script. Then CH reminded him that it was his decision and he felt he had the "permission" he needed to send Becca home. Obviously, this is clearly conjecture.

I can't help but think that they got a more emotional response to the end of this episode than they thought the would, BUT I think they would have worried that next week would not be as emotional as they like without Becca. However, from the preview it appears that tptb stirred things up enough (hometown issues) that each of them will be a little on edge at the RC next week.

I just realised, but Ben took only Lauren to see 'his' spots. The youth centre holds a lot of importance to him, he showed her around town, his church, his old school and took her to meet his friends. He could've easily divided the different parts to other girls, but he took only Lauren. IMO in his mind she's already his girlfriend, and the rest is just a show. And no, that doesn't mean he doesn't care deeply for the other girls, he does. Just that he's already picked Lauren IMO.

albean99 wrote:~snipped 

So happy that Becca's finally gone. She of all people should know that getting blindsided is part of the show. Ben didn't owe her anything. She barely shows emotion even when she's supposed to be feeling it so not sure how she could be a good lead.  

The RC seemed normal after trying to make it seem something happened. It didn't seem to me like Becca was ever getting a HTD so not sure what happened.

Agree with all of your post @albean99, but want to address the bolded. TPTB have given Becca every opportunity to audition for the Bachelorette beginning with her first go-round on Farmer's season. When the only requirement is to look good at Bach Nation events, she does well. When effective adult communication - verbal & non-verbal - are required, she is sadly lacking. 

I believe our very reliable member(s) that told us Becca's family were preparing for HTD #2. I agree with the poster that said Becca knew of the pending HTD and likely talked to her family about it. TPTB knew all along that Ben wasn't interested in Becca. It's been undeniably obvious even to Becca the last three episodes. 

Making Becca think she was getting a HTD and then Ben "blindsiding" her was TPTB final attempt at dragging some emotion out of her. The sniffles in the van were embarrassment and anger, not heartbreak at losing out on the perfect Ben. JMOAA.

jcrbil wrote:As I read Lucas' excellent review, I believe she is on to something.  IMO Ben is the "compliant child" and really wants tptb to get the show they're looking for- perhaps they really wanted the Becca HTD and that's why there was so much chatter at that time (during filming) that it was happening.  BUT Ben really didn't want to "blindside" her after visiting her family- so maybe he was supposed to send another home (Caila?) according to the script.  Then CH reminded him that it was his decision and he felt he had the "permission" he needed to send Becca home.  Obviously, this is clearly conjecture.

I'm actually a "he" not a "she" but you obviously got my drift. IMO what could have "changed everything" was that Ben listened to what Becca said to him and knowing it was all true (he wasn't giving her any validation because he simply didn't feel "that way" about her) and after she asked him not to blindside her he decided the best way not to was send her home then - probably thus throwing a curve into TPTB plans for HTDs. It's a simple explanation (Occam's Razor) but it ties up a whole bunch of otherwise loose ends.

gatorfan1987 wrote:i guess.. if I'm in a serious relationship i would rather meet his friends and see how i would fit into his real life when its not like they haven't had one on one talk time already. Both Lauren and Jojo have had one on one dates so they both have had the intimate dates.

Question though, these friends, they are from Warsaw, Indiana and not Denver. These are friends he grew up with, with him living in Denver, he probably has another set of friends there too. If F1 and Ben were moving to Warsaw then it makes sense to find out whether there's a good mix, but if F1 and Ben are living in either Denver or somewhere else, not so much.

gurlbrit wrote:

gatorfan1987 wrote:i guess.. if I'm in a serious relationship i would rather meet his friends and see how i would fit into his real life when its not like they haven't had one on one talk time already. Both Lauren and Jojo have had one on one dates so they both have had the intimate dates.

Question though, these friends, they are from Warsaw, Indiana and not Denver.  These are friends he grew up with, with him living in Denver, he probably has another set of friends there too.  If F1 and Ben were moving to Warsaw then it makes sense to find out whether there's a good mix, but if F1 and Ben are living in either Denver or somewhere else, not so much.

Ben did say at the youth club with Lauren that it helps him see what life would look like a year from now. Maybe he's contemplating settling down back Warsaw? Even if he's not, true about the Denver friends but his F1 has plenty of time for that. If he plans to make regular visits to Warsaw, it's an advantage to have met his friends whom he always looks up when he returns.

gurlbrit wrote:

gatorfan1987 wrote:i guess.. if I'm in a serious relationship i would rather meet his friends and see how i would fit into his real life when its not like they haven't had one on one talk time already. Both Lauren and Jojo have had one on one dates so they both have had the intimate dates.

Question though, these friends, they are from Warsaw, Indiana and not Denver.  These are friends he grew up with, with him living in Denver, he probably has another set of friends there too.  If F1 and Ben were moving to Warsaw then it makes sense to find out whether there's a good mix, but if F1 and Ben are living in either Denver or somewhere else, not so much.

Perhaps he visits Warsaw often and is constantly in contact and meets up with his friends from there. He's really close to his parents, and Warsaw arms like a dear place to him, so they could be friends who are still actively in his life. 

If I had my pick, I would've loved Laurrn's date the most.

I know Ben is sooooo obsessed about Lauren, but... I still know nothing about her up until now, it's already this late in the season but I still see no REAL personality. I don't know, I tried to like her, but I can't find a reason to.

I believe its because they don't show it. She told him on the couch that she has talked so much but how much did we see?

ForeverLove wrote:

gurlbrit wrote:

gatorfan1987 wrote:i guess.. if I'm in a serious relationship i would rather meet his friends and see how i would fit into his real life when its not like they haven't had one on one talk time already. Both Lauren and Jojo have had one on one dates so they both have had the intimate dates.

Question though, these friends, they are from Warsaw, Indiana and not Denver.  These are friends he grew up with, with him living in Denver, he probably has another set of friends there too.  If F1 and Ben were moving to Warsaw then it makes sense to find out whether there's a good mix, but if F1 and Ben are living in either Denver or somewhere else, not so much.

Ben did say at the youth club with Lauren that it helps him see what life would look like a year from now. Maybe he's contemplating settling down back Warsaw? Even if he's not, true about the Denver friends but his F1 has plenty of time for that. If he plans to make regular visits to Warsaw, it's an advantage to have met his friends whom he always looks up when he returns.

I agree and those are the friends that knew him the longest. Plus he has such history and memories there. That is by far the date I would have wanted as I think it would also be the best one to really see a different side of him and interact with others yet still have a lot of "alone" time driving around and then at his place before going out and having fun with his friends. I wouldn't doubt if some of his closest friends are the ones he grew up with in Warsaw. IMHO