MAFS - Dave and Ashley - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* - Discussion

We only see what the producers show us, but from what we see, David is the only one that is trying to make this work. Ashley seems to has check out a long time ago and is just going through the paces of a contractual obligation. It seems once she made that determination at the wedding that he was not her type, she didn't put any effort into getting to know him or trying to make this work. At least the other couples are trying.

IA! Anything like personal issues or questions sends her away. I think that about the only time she made an honest effort was the Father's Day episode. Otherwise, all I see is her going through the motions, and not very much of that.

I think it's a crap match, and fall to the "I Blame Dr. Cilona" mantra that served me well enough last year. I will see him as a fraud forever and always. Snake oil.

Clearly, he doesn't "know" Ashley well enough to have thought she'd throw physical attraction to the winds for the first time in her life (who would do that anyway, hello) at the Altar.

I thought his interview with those two was Bizarr-o.

I do have questions about Dr. Cilona, too. I think the selection process for S2, and the response to the criticism about that, reduce my acceptance of him. The interview with Ashley did a great deal to explain where she's coming from. But to then essentially force Ashley to say ("confess"??) that David just isn't what she wants physically? That's at least unkind to Ashley and leaves David with nowhere to go. It was, in some ways, worse than nothing at all from Dr. Cilona. OK, that out of the way...

I think Ashley is, after all, trying, in her own way, to make things work. And David is certainly working hard. But Ashley just doesn't or won't accept anything more than sharing a house with a guy who's "OK, I guess" at best. The trailer for next week suggests that David may have told her to get it in gear. Sadly, for for both of them, I don't think that's going to happen in the remaining three weeks. I hope I'm wrong. I do see the potential for a good couple. I just don't think 6 weeks is enough.

ADDED: Thinking a bit more... There's Ashley, clearly close to miserable, talking about what doesn't work for her and trying to find her way, David offers at least a pat, and she rejects it IMHO without thinking. I think this summarizes the whole story.

I wonder if Ashley isn't in the same situation that Monet was in. That is, she wanted her spouse to have specific traits, appearance, etc. Vaughn apparently was a good match to those specifications. But Monet, IIRC, said later she'd gotten her expectations wrong. I am beginning to think Ashley, in effect, should have been more careful about what she wished for. She got it, but it seems that not what she wanted.

I still think that she's been ...what?... less than fully committed to the marriage. There's a good exercise for testing how trusting someone is of their partner (if only for the exercise): One partner stands up, closes their eyes, falls backwards as the other partner catches them. Try it. It's not an easy thing to do. Ashley, I think, would refuse to even try it with David.

GuardianAngel wrote:David Norton ‏@David_MAFS  · 31 Dec 2015  
Last year NYE was all time..This year- I am sick as a dog. Good thing my wife is a soon to be nurse!

Ashley Doherty ‏@Ashley_MAFS  · 31 Dec 2015  
#tbt to our 1st  (camera emoji)together as a #marriedcouple #TeamDashley #MarriedAtFirstSight  @David_MAFS

I just re-read all of the posts here. Unless I'm totally dazed and confused (it happens), the quoted picture is 100% at odds with what we've seen to date. They're actually deliberately touching! :shocked!: How can this be?   Could it be they sorted things out? I'd like to think so.

Remember that the "decision couch" rules are that each spouse has to answer the "stay together/get a divorce" question. Cortney mentioned later that she gave Jason the death-ray look as he seemed to be bailing on her with his answer. Which means David's expression could be anything from knowing Ashley will say "no" to honestly not knowing what she'll say to his own doubts or nervousness coming through.

I still have problems with how Ashley is generally behaving, but maybe she's made it too easy to beat up on her?

- - -

Somewhat related - IIRC it's probable that Neil and Sam are at least to the point where they occasionally meet, together, someone who knows who they are, but is just a fan/viewer. I think there was something about "a few people know who we are".

I cannot imagine that, from August forward, nobody has either met a now ex- or met a couple, recognized them from MAFS, and not been at least an SM user. OK, lets assume that family and friends are bound by a NDA. Further, assume the couple says "please don't give us up - we'll take huge hit if you do" to an extended group of people they know. No CVS associate, fanboy, whatever couldn't put two and two together and post? Or is there some sort of Men In Black crew, complete with memory eraser flashy things, that keeps that from happening? OK, NYC's a big city, and Atlanta isn't that small, but... In three years, nobody has posted a true spoiler???

Sigh... having thought the previous picture was the ...um... Rosetta Stone key to D&A, I thought I had some handle on things. And then I found the FYI diary excerpts (trust me - web surfing via a boat marina WiFi net is so not fun). If the last post from Ashley is taken at face value, they're probably no longer together. The background isn't their current residence. The general tone of her comments is "she didn't want to hurt David but she's just not attracted to him, and sees no way that will change". If that clip is right, movie over. Thanks for playing, David. Please try again.

I just hope by the end David can say in a polite and respectful way that there is no way he would want to stay with Ashley and she is not a fit for him because he likes to smile and enjoy life. It would suck for it to look like the marriage ends in a onesided way because Ashley doesn't want it. She's done nothing to make him want a relationship with her and hopefully he says that.

David may well give up by the end, but, right now, I don't see that happening. Ashley does seem to be in "I want to be polite, but 'no way'" mode. Sad, really...

If Ashley has felt attacked and received death threats over social media, why is she the only one who has a mafs instagram account? I expect that wasn't required, as the others don't have them (just their own private accounts). Why expose herself to more than she needs to?

Some days smart people make bad decisions? Maybe she likes Instagram? Maybe she's trying to find ways to defend herself? ¿Quien sabe?

jlccaz wrote:I think it's a crap match, and fall to the "I Blame Dr. Cilona" mantra that served me well enough last year.  I will see him as a fraud forever and always.  Snake oil.

*snipped*

Crap match indeed! This is a very obvious mismatch. David's an extrovert and Ashley's an introvert. Neither needs to change that about themselves and with other issues I find it ridiculous that these "experts" are actually admitting to pairing people in the hopes that one can "fix" some aspect of the other. The worst example is with Sam. It's not Neil's job to fix Sam. Did the experts online degrees not cover this? WTH?

There's a lot of talk, both on the show and online about Ashley's problem of basing relationships on looks, but next to nothing about the problem that David presented. He's an OK looking guy that wants to be married, but he can't find anyone to marry him because he scares them off!! I can't ignore that little nugget when it comes to how Ashley is reacting to him. He's so emotionally needy and pushy and think about all the hours of this we didn't see. She's not flinching like that for no reason imo. He has creeped her out! He doesn't pick up on any cues and worse yet, he pouts when he doesn't get what he seems to think he is entitled to get from her. He actually had a window when he kissed her hand at the wedding. She appreciated that. Had he had the right personality for her, I believe she would have moved past the initial disappointment with his looks. He doesn't have the right personality for her and that's mostly not his fault. Ashley just doesn't belong on this show, but David's an extroverted, stage 5 clinger and it seems like there would have been plenty of female matches for that type on this crazy show, so I blame the "experts" for this one. Maybe they did this on purpose for drama, but whatever it was, yuck.